Chapter 58: Strength of Heart
"Strength of... Heart?" Nadia repeated with a quirk of her eyebrow. She then fell into thought, thinking about her answer before giving it.
"Vitality output?"
"Correct. Somewhat... Strength of Heart is the term we Vitalists use to describe how much of the Heart’s Vitality isn’t wasted when used," Hilda clarified.
"Wasted...? What do you mean by that?" Nadia asked, sitting upright with a keen expression.
Upon seeing this, Hilda smiled warmly.
"Yes, wasted," She nodded. "Whenever you channel Vitality towards something, most of it would be lost in the process, dispersed throughout your body or even into your surroundings, if you didn’t know."
Nadia held her chin.
"Like energy?"
"That’s a common way to put it."
Hilda picked up a stone and began channelling her Vitality into her hand.
"Another good way to describe Strength of Heart is imagining your Heart as the generator, Vitality as electricity, and yourself as the appliance.
"Not all energy produced by the generator can be converted usefully by the appliance. Und not all Vitality produced by the Heart will be converted usefully by you."
She then chucked the stone with a hand imbued with Vitality.
Skip. Skip. Skip. Skip...
Splash...
Hilda watched as the stone sank.
"The Vitality you saw me use is the remaining Vitality of how much I wanted to use."
She then turned to look at Nadia, who was giving her the stink eye.
"You cheated."
"Eh?"
"No Vitality allowed."
Hilda smiled wryly and held up her hands in surrender.
"I was just using it to give a visual example. It won’t happen again..."
Nadia softened her expression when she heard that.
She then looked down at her hand and channelled her Vitality into it.
She watched as a grey aura surrounded her hand and narrowed her eyes slightly. ’So this is the Vitality that’s left over from the channeling?’
Nadia clenched her hand and dispersed the Vitality she built up.
Then she looked back at Hilda and asked:
"If I go off of your example, for an appliance to be more energy efficient, wouldn’t I have to upgrade it? How would I go about upgrading... myself?"
Hilda’s eyes became half-lidded. She gently raised a finger before slowly pointing towards the centre of Nadia’s chest.
"To be more efficient, you’d have to strengthen your Heart by tempering it through hardship."
"Hard... ship?" Nadia tilted her head.
Hilda turned back to face the sea and leaned back on her hands.
"There’s a saying... what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, und also that hard times build strong people. A person’s Heart is like a muscle that needs to be tested und worked to be pushed past its limits. Otherwise...
"They would forever be weak und susceptible to the Predicaments that plague our world."
She then turned to Nadia.
"Und that goes the same for emotions."
"... Emotions?"
Hilda grabbed two pebbles and passed one of them to Nadia.
"Tell me, Nadia Crane, when you first learnt to skip stones, how did you feel?"
"How did I feel?" Nadia repeated, surprised.
Though she wanted to ask why, she decided to try to remember how she felt.
She stared blankly at the pebble in her hand before falling into a daydream.
Her mind drifted slowly into the past, which eventually led her to catch a flash of her first time — a memory of a distant past that took place in front of a magnificent lake.
A distant memory...
"Haha, fifteen skips! That’s amazing, Nadia!"
... Where she could make out the figure of a tall man in uniform cheering her on from the side.
"This is only your tenth throw, and yet you’re learning so fast... you’re even better than me!"
The man’s face was blurry in Nadia’s mind, as it had been years since she last saw him. But she knew that the one who taught her to skip stones on that day was...
"I really am proud to have you as my daughter, Nadia..."
... None other than her father.
"I... I felt really happy."
"Is that so..."
Remembering the way her father taught her, Nadia adjusted her grip on the pebble, then raised her hand. And with a rapid flick, she chucked it towards the sea.
Skip. Skip. Skip. Skip.
She watched as it skipped across the surface of the water and quickly crossed into the darkness.
Skip. Skip. Skip. Skip.
The sound of its skipping continued to faintly echo in the distance. And it was becoming clear that this stone was travelling further than the ones before it.
Skip. Skip. Skip. Skip.
And soon enough... it had travelled far enough away that she couldn’t hear it.
But that was alright.
An unconscious smile spread across Nadia’s face.
The smile was small and extremely thin, but one could tell there was an insurmountable amount of joy behind it.
"Twelve skips... that’s pretty good," She murmured.
"Sixteen, actually."
Nadia stiffened and slowly turned to Hilda, who was just staring in the direction where the pebble went. Her eyes were wide with surprise.
Although it did surprise her that Hilda could still manage to hear the stone skip, despite it having travelled so far, she was more distracted by the number of skips.
Sixteen... that was more than her best!
After checking that Hilda was telling the truth, Nadia whispered in astonishment:
"But how...? I was doing so badly before... why did I just suddenly improve?"
"... The emotions of the Heart is a tricky thing."
Hilda slowly turned to face Nadia, her smile still ever-present on her face.
"As a Vitalist, you must beware of your emotions. For it isn’t just hardships that affects your Heart, but also your emotions."
"... But why would that matter?"
Hilda’s eyes became half-lidded at that question.
"Because that’s just how having a Heart works... If you ever want to do something, you must do it with all your Heart.
"If your Heart is filled with turmoil that can impact your judgement or mind, you’ll be left crippled by your negative emotions — unable to do things that you should’ve been capable of doing.
"In contrast, if your Heart is filled with positive emotions, you’ll be able to operate far beyond what you are usually capable of — the ideal state."
Nadia listened to Hilda’s explanation thoughtfully, then asked:
"Then why does the LRM advocate for stoicism rather than happiness?"
"... Because emotions is a double-edged sword."
Hilda stared down at the pebble in her hand as an inexplicable light flashed through her eyes.
"The reason why the LRM encourage that we remain unfeeling is to prevent the risk of Heart Corruption."
"... Heart... Corruption?"
Hilda nodded gently before lifting her hand and chucking the stone towards the water. And as she watched it skip, she continued to explain:
"Heart Corruption is a volatile state that the Heart can fall into when it experiences too much of an emotion. Und when this happens... the Vitalist would become prone to all manners of stimulants und quickly lose their sense of reasoning. Fortunately, it’s only temporary."
"Prone to stimulants...?"
Nadia widened her eyes.
When they fought, she did feel as though she was more impulsive than before, even more so with her sword. Was that... the reason why? Did her Heart actually corrupt?
She reflected over her actions. And as she was about to open her mouth to say something...
Splash...
"15 skips, that’s not too bad, right? What’s that... my eleventh throw?"
"Huh!? O-oh... it’s pretty good, actually..."
"Hehe."
Seeing Hilda smile and glee from joy, Nadia couldn’t help but ask:
"What about you, then... why aren’t you like the rest of them? Aren’t you scared of having your Heart corrupted?"
"Me? Pfft... no... I’m not. Not anymore, at least..."
Nadia observed Hilda’s expression and noticed a flicker of nostalgia, but also guilt flashed through the woman’s red eyes. She wanted to ask what it was that the woman was feeling, but was immediately distracted when asked:
"So! Have you figured it out yet?"
"... Hah?" Nadia quirked an eyebrow, "Figured what out?"
"My emotion. What emotion did you think I felt when throwing that stone?"
Nadia blinked several times in confusion.
Then... she tilted her head.
"I... I don’t know."
"It was love."
"Huh!?"
The Heroine then watched as the German leaned in, almost flirtatiously. A shocked look flashed across her face as she backed away, "W-what the hell do you think you’re doing!?"
"Haha, I’m only just joking."
"... Haa... you and your nonsense."
After she watched leaned away, Nadia sighed in relief before scooting back.
The two then sat in silence, staring into the night as the breeze from the ocean brushed against their faces.
It was quiet. And above all...
Calming.
"Hilda."
"Hm?"
"Why... why are you so nice to me?"
"..."
Hilda was staring blankly at the dark sky, her smile still-ever present on her face, like a mannequin. Though that changed when she heard Nadia’s question.
Her smile dropped for a split moment before returning.
"That is quite the question, isn’t it? Even I wonder about that too."
Nadia straightened her back.
What did that mean?
She then watched as the woman turned to her with a tender gaze.
"But if you’re looking for an answer right now... it would have to be that your Heart is different from others."
"..."
Nadia widened her eyes at this, in disbelief at what she heard.
"Different...?" She repeated quietly under her breath.
She became stunned. Speechless.
Before she could think of a response to what Hilda said, she watched as the woman stood up from the edge of the quayside and picked up her lantern. She then watched as the woman held out a hand for her to grab and said:
"Let’s head back. It’s late now und it’s better we try und sleep as much as possible before morning."
Nadia stared at the hand for a few seconds before reaching out to it.
After she was pulled up to her feet and picked up her lantern, they steadily began making their way back to the warehouse. And during that walk back, Nadia asked one more question:
"Back then, when you were threatening everyone... why did you lie?"
"Hm? Lie?" Hilda glanced back, "What do you mean?"
"... About the people involved... why did you lie about taking their lives?"
Hilda widened her eyes, then smiled wryly.
"At what point will you ever have that Gift of yours turned off around me?"
She chuckled before turning around.
She then answered in an ominous and mysterious tone:
"You’ll get your answer why tomorrow..."