Chapter 238 - You’re Mine
His grip loosened, though he kept his hand beneath her jaw.
Roxie felt the change. Her eyes narrowed, and something wounded moved beneath the anger.
"What?" she demanded. "You’re done again?"
Zac frowned. "What are you talking about?"
"You grab me, make me look at you, then let go like you’ve decided I’m not worth the fight."
His thumb moved once against her cheek before he caught himself. He wanted to curse. He wanted to let go, but every time he did, she would think he was abandoning her again.
Then he remembered Ethan.
"You’re fucking mine," he said. "Act like it."
Her pulse jumped again beneath his hand.
For a heartbeat, neither of them moved.
Then Roxie shoved him.
Zac let go as he stepped back.
"You don’t get to say that."
"Why not?"
"Because you keep leaving."
"I came back."
"You always come back after."
"After what?"
"After I sit here wondering where the fuck you went."
"I told you I was going home."
Roxie laughed, but nothing about it sounded amused.
"Exactly."
Zac’s anger tightened into something colder.
"What does that mean?"
"Kendall said you’ve been staying at Dylan’s."
His body went rigid.
Roxie saw it.
"You have."
"A few nights."
"A few nights?"
"I didn’t want to go home."
"So you lied."
"I didn’t want to talk about it."
"You told me you were going home."
"I know what I told you."
"Then why are you standing there acting like it wasn’t a lie?"
Zac turned toward the kitchen, needing distance before his face gave away anything else.
Roxie followed.
"Why Dylan?"
"I just told you."
"No, you said you didn’t want to go home. That doesn’t explain why you kept leaving me."
"My parents wouldn’t leave me alone."
"About what?"
"Everything."
"What does that mean?"
"It means everything, Roxie."
"Everything? Me?"
Zac said nothing.
Roxie’s face changed.
"Wow. So, you think this is my fucking fault?"
Fucking hell. How did she get that from what he said?
"I just didn’t want you worrying."
The explanation sounded weak as soon as he said it.
He should have come here.
He had known it every night he drove toward Dylan’s house. Roxie would have opened the door. She might have asked questions, but she would have moved over and made space for him.
Coming here would have meant admitting he needed somewhere to stay.
Admitting means he can’t take care of her.
Admitting that would mean her worries about the future, about Tennessee was true.
She stared at him. "You didn’t want me worrying?"
"Yes."
"I’m your girlfriend."
"I know."
"No, you clearly fucking don’t."
Her voice rose.
"You’re supposed to tell me."
"I didn’t want to dump everything on you."
"Dump it on me?"
"That isn’t what I meant."
"Then what did you mean?"
"I wanted somewhere I didn’t have to explain every fucking thing."
Roxie stepped back as though he had shoved her.
"So you chose Dylan."
"Is he your fucking girlfriend? Why does Dylan know everything about you and I shouldn’t?"
"Roxie."
"You could have come here."
"I know."
"You could have stayed here."
"I know."
"You keep saying that."
"Because I fucking know."
He had known it while lying awake on Dylan’s couch. He had known it every time he drove away from her bungalow. He could have turned around and told her he hated going home.
Lie again.
"Were girls there?"
The question landed fast enough that Zac had no prepared answer.
He froze.
Only for a second but it was enough.
Roxie’s face changed before he could speak. Anger gave way to something raw, then came back harder.
"They were."
"They were Dylan’s guests."
Her hand cracked across his face.
The sound filled the kitchen and turned his head.
Heat spread across his cheek.
For a moment, Zac did not move.
Roxie stood in front of him breathing hard, her palm still raised between them.
"You fucking liar."
"I didn’t touch anyone."
"You froze."
"Because I knew you’d react like this."
"Like what? Your girlfriend?"
"I went there for Dylan."
"And the girls just happened to be there?"
"Yes."
"How convenient."
"Nothing happened."
"Sure."
"Roxie."
"Poor Zac. His parents bother him, so he runs to a house full of girls."
"I went there to sleep."
"Did one of them show you where the bedroom was?"
"Shut up."
"Did they keep you company first?"
"Roxie."
"Maybe they sat beside you while you told them how hard your life is."
"I said shut up."
"Maybe one of those bimbos made you forget you had a girlfriend waiting for you."
"I DIDN’T WANT TO FUCKING GO HOME!"
His shout struck the kitchen walls.
Roxie went still for half a second.
Then she screamed louder.
"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE COME HERE!"
Zac’s chest rose hard.
"I didn’t want to drag you into it."
"I was already in it!"
"You had enough going on."
"You don’t get to decide that!"
"I was trying to protect you."
"From what? Knowing where my boyfriend sleeps?"
"From everything!"
"You’re supposed to tell me everything!"
"That’s bullshit."
"You’re supposed to stay with me!"
The last words cracked out of her.
Zac stared at her.
For one second, he heard what sat beneath the anger.
She thought he had chosen Dylan. She thought he had chosen the girls. She thought every night he left meant she had failed to give him a reason to stay.
The same way Ethan standing beside her had made Zac feel replaced.
Roxie grabbed the plastic cup beside the sink and threw it.
It struck his shoulder and bounced across the floor.
She reached for the glass near the sink.
Zac crossed the space between them and caught her wrist before she could throw it.
The glass slipped from her fingers and struck the counter without breaking.
"Let go."
"Stop throwing shit."
"Let me go."
She twisted hard, but Zac drove her hand down against the counter and held it there.
Roxie struck his chest with her other hand.
"Let go of me."
"Stop fighting me."
"You’re hurting me."
His grip loosened.
He should have released her.
Instead, he noticed the change in her face.
Her eyes widened, then sharpened. Color rushed back into her cheeks. Her breathing changed beneath him, faster but quieter, and her free hand stopped striking his chest.
The same reaction.
The same alertness he had seen when he held her jaw.
Heat moved through him before guilt could stop it.
He liked how completely she focused on him when he restrained her.
He liked that Ethan disappeared from her face.
He liked that every part of her seemed aware of his body against hers.
The thought made something ugly twist inside him.
He had scared her when he hit the wall. He had made her flinch when he slammed the chair upright. He should have hated himself for touching her again.
Instead, his hand remained around her wrist.
Roxie looked at his face.
"What?" she demanded. "You’re going to let go again?"
Zac lowered his head. "You want me to?"
Her mouth opened, but nothing came out.
His grip stayed firm enough to hold her without grinding her wrist into the counter.
Roxie’s free hand closed around the front of his shirt.
"You chose those fucking girls," she said. "Instead of me."
"I never did. I’ll never will."
"You still left."
Her voice broke again.
Zac’s anger faltered, but the image of Ethan returned. Ethan standing beside her. Ethan watching her cry. Ethan telling her to call him.
"You get jealous about those girls but you ran to Ethan."
The words landed between them.
Zac tightened his jaw.
Roxie pulled against the wrist he held, but her other hand remained twisted in his shirt.
"At least Ethan doesn’t leave me."
"Stop saying his name."
"Ethan would never choose someone else."
"Stop." Zac pushed her hand harder against the counter.
Roxie inhaled sharply.
The anger stayed in her eyes, but that alertness returned beneath it. Her fingers tightened around his shirt.
Zac saw it.
So did she.
For a second, neither of them spoke.
"You like this," he said quietly.
Roxie’s face reddened.
"Fuck you."
"You do."
"I hate you."
She shoved against his chest with the hand gripping his shirt, but the movement only pulled him closer.
Zac’s body pressed into hers.
Roxie’s breathing caught.
He should have stepped back.
He stayed where he was.
"You’re jealous," he said.
"I’m angry because you lied."
"And because girls were there."
"Go back to them."
"I don’t want them."
The answer stopped her.
Zac had admitted it before, but this time he held her gaze.
"I should’ve come here," he said. "I should’ve told you I didn’t want to go home. I should’ve asked if I could stay."
"You shouldn’t have needed to ask."
"I didn’t want you seeing me like that."
"Like what?"
Zac looked away.
He could tell her he had nothing. He could tell her his clothes were in a bag and that the money in his wallet came from training a freshman because Arthur had cut him off.
He could tell her he had spent nights on Dylan’s couch because he had nowhere else to go.
The words remained caught behind his teeth.
"Like what?" Roxie demanded again.
"Like I needed you."
Her grip loosened against his shirt.
Zac felt the silence change.
He had not meant to say it, but once the words were out, he could not take them back.
Roxie stared at him.
"You’re an idiot."
"I know."
Her eyes filled again.
Zac hated seeing it.
He hated Ethan for being the one beside her when she cried, even though Zac had given her the reason to go there.
He hated himself more for knowing that and still wanting to blame Ethan.
Roxie’s hand tightened in his shirt again.
"I hate those girls."
Zac felt a smile pull at his mouth before he could stop it.
Roxie’s eyes narrowed. "Why are you smiling?"
"You’re jealous."
"You think this is funny?"
"No."
"You’re smiling."
He was.
She had imagined another girl touching him, and it had made her furious. She understood the panic that had taken over him outside the Grill because she felt the same thing now.
He liked that more than he should have.
"You’re sick," she said.
"So are you."
Roxie pulled at her pinned wrist.
Zac loosened his hold enough for her to move, but he kept her hand against the counter.
"You’re still holding me."
"You’re still holding me too."
Her fingers were twisted into his shirt.
Roxie looked down at them, then back at him.
"Go back to Dylan."
"No."
"Go sit with those girls."
"No."
"Go let them stare at you."
"I don’t want them."
"You liked them wanting you."
"I liked you looking at me the way you are now."
Her breath caught.
The flush spread across her cheeks again.
Zac recognized the shift immediately. It was the same sudden focus he had seen when his hand closed around her jaw.
She was furious with him.
She still wanted him close.
He swallowed hard as he moved his free hand to her waist.
Roxie’s body tightened beneath his touch, but she made no attempt to step away.
"You’re fucking mine," Zac said again.
Her eyes lifted to his. "You’re mine too."
His hand tightened at her waist.
"Act like it," she said.
Zac lowered his face.
Roxie turned her head at the last moment, and his mouth caught her cheek.
"Go kiss one of those girls."
"I don’t want them."
"How would I know?"
"Because I’m here."
"You always leave."
The words stopped him. God, she was bringing it up again.
His grip around her wrist loosened.
Roxie felt it immediately.
"There," she said. "You’re doing it again."
"I’m not fucking leaving."
"You let go every time I say something you don’t like."
"I’m trying not to hurt you."
"You’re hurting me now."
Zac released her wrist but kept his body close, giving her enough room to move if she wanted.
Roxie stayed between him and the counter.
He touched her cheek with the hand that had held her down.
The instant his thumb moved across her skin, her eyes sharpened again.
Zac saw it and stopped.
His pulse beat hard against his throat.
"Tell me to stop."
Roxie stared at him.
Her fingers tightened in his shirt.
"I’m still angry," she said. "You were there with girls."
Their breathing filled the small space between them.
Zac looked at her mouth.
"Tell me to stop," he said again.
Roxie pulled him down by his shirt and kissed him.