The CEO's Rose

Ryan’s POV

Ryan Terrell was a problem solver, a man of action.

He saw a situation that needed fixing and he stepped right into the thick of it and did not leave until the entire problem was resolved. That was what he had done when he had found Bryce crouched over Vivian.

He had rushed in and handled the situation, fighting the man off and then calling for an ambulance. And once they had arrived at the hospital and Vivian was being attended to, Ryan had foreseen yet another problem and had rushed to get ahead of it. He had called the press and had had everyone agreed to publish that Vivian was dead, doing so in order to buy her protection and to ensure that their enemies relaxed thinking that they had won.

Then, just to be extra safe he had even gotten his security to discreetly position themselves all over the hospital.

***

After that, there had been nothing more for him to do to protect her, and he’d gone from being a whirlwind of activity, to being as still as a stone in a private waiting room. The inactivity had nearly undone him, with nothing to occupy him, his mind had taken over completely, bombarding him with all of the ways that he had failed Vivian, ( not going to get her after work...not being fast enough to get Bryce away from her...). It had gotten so bad that Ryan had started crying out of nowhere, ending up on his hands and knees, and shaking like a leaf.

It had taken him a long time to get himself under control, and when he’d finally wiped the tears away, Ryan had gotten up, and he’d just started walking. Roaming the hospital like a ghost in a bid to escape his own thoughts.

She is going to be fine...she is going to be fine...

That was what he had repeated to himself with every step. Doing his best to not remember how still Vivian had been in his arms, her pulse barely there. At some point during his mindless walk, Ryan’s body had refused to go any further, and he’d found himself downstairs in the ER, watching a woman die. The sight had clawed at Ryan’s heart, his eyes stinging even as his entire being had gone numb.

In the woman’s final moments Ryan had not truly been seeing her. He had been thinking of his Vivian going through the same thing without him being there to hold her through it and he’d wanted to die on the spot.

But then, out of nowhere, Mark and Amy had materialized, and Ryan’s world had snapped back into focus.

***

"Don’t worry, I managed to tell your grandfather before he could find out from someone else," Oh, his grandfather...Ryan had been so busy doing damage control he had forgotten to tell the old man. But Mark hadn’t. His friend had known that Ryan had probably forgotten, and he’d taken care of it.

For the first time that night, Ryan found himself crying tears that were not laced with sorrow. Standing he moved forward and hugged both Mark and Amy.

"Thank you," He said, his voice barely a whisper.

The two words did not truly show all of the gratitude that Ryan was feeling, but in that moment they were all that he could manage. He was thankful to his friend for coming to him when he needed him most despite Ryan having not called. He was grateful that Mark had informed Langston Terrell on Ryan’s behalf, and most of all he was just thankful that Mark, despite everything, was his best friend.

Whatever his friend needed in the future, Ryan would be sure to provide it without any questions asked. He made that silent promise to himself, as he finally got his emotions under control. But the words that came out of Amy’s mouth threatened to undo all of his progress.

"Ryan I know this may be hard for you, but we need to know what happened,"

***

"...I was so focused on Vivian and making sure that she stayed with me that I did not even notice Bryce getting away. I should have stopped him," Once again seated, with Amy and Mark on either side of him, Ryan was doing his best to tell them all that had happened, and as he came to the end of his tale, he found himself feeling like an absolute failure.

With everything that had been going on, Ryan had not really gotten to process just how much he had messed up. But now it was really hitting him. He had let Vivian’s attacker get away, what sort of protector was he. Thanks to him, she was in even more danger.

What if all of the security guards that he had stationed around the hospital were not enough? What if Bryce and Gwendolyn did not believe the story that he’d fed the press? All it would take would be one moment for those two to slip between the cracks and his Vivian would be in danger. How could he have failed to do such a simple thing?!

"Ryan, Ryan, Ryan..." The sound of his name being called had him blinking and looking around in confusion.

Oh, he had been so deep in his own head that he had lost track of his surroundings for a bit.

Feeling a squeeze on his hands, he looked down and Amy was crouched in front of him, her worry clear. The sad look in her eyes made Ryan look away in shame, ( he did not deserve to have her looking at him with such understanding). Not seeming to get that Ryan was unworthy, Amy reached up and forced him to face her with a gentle hand on his cheek.

"Listen to me, you did everything right, you protected Vivian and made sure that she got to the hospital, so what if Bryce got away? We will catch him soon enough, but for now I need you to not beat yourself up, Vivian needs you to be strong," It was the last part of her words that got to Ryan more than anything else.

Vivian needed him to be strong, he could not fall apart, and so taking a deep breath he forced himself to shut out all of the guilt that he was feeling. There would be time for him to tear into himself in the future. For now Vivian needed all of his attention. He had to put all of his effort into making sure that she was fine, the rest would come later

***

When it came to doctors Ryan had always felt a slight annoyance towards them.

He had often viewed them as no at alls who just loved to poke and prod at him and then give him useless instructions like to stress less and sleep more.

But now Ryan felt like he could build a temple dedicated just to medical professionals.

His Vivian was going to be fine, their tests showed that there was no brain damage. She’d have to be dealing with some serious bruising, a sore throat and probably would not be able to speak for a little while. But other than that she was absolutely fine. The moment that Ryan had heard those words,( delivered by a bald old man in scrubs with ducks on them) he had started bawling like a little child. Literally unable to stop himself, helpless against the flood of emotions that had come at hearing those words.

But as soon as his crying fit had started, he had forced himself to end it.

The doctor saying that Vivian was allowed one visitor, making him snap out of his crying fit.

The need to see her giving him the strength to get himself under control. Now as he approached the door to her room, Ryan suddenly felt as though he had cement blocks tied to his feet. Looking at the door he was reminded of Vivian’s own apartment door which was now a mess on the floor and he suddenly found it difficult to take a breath.

A door.

That was all that had stood between him and saving Vivian and he had nearly walked away.

What if he had actually done that? What if this was all some dream where his mind was trying to protect him from the consequences of what he had done, what if- Cutting off his spiraling thoughts, Ryan reached out, his hand trembling as he touched the wood. Instead of just standing there and hesitating, he gathered his courage and opened the door.

For a moment, Ryan just stood where he was, staring at her still form on the bed.

"Vivian," He rasped, his throat closing up. His strength quickly leaving him, he barely managed to walk but he forced himself to, his weak legs carrying him over to her bedside.

The moment that Ryan got there he collapsed into a nearby chair. Not even minding how uncomfortable it was because it allowed him to be near his Vivian, not looking at the tube that was currently taped to her mouth, he smiled down at her. Relief making him shed a few tears.

She was alive! She’d made it... he had not failed her.

"Hey sweetheart," He greeted, his voice soft. Vivian remained unresponsive, her chest rising and falling with the rhythm of the machine at work. Unable to keep looking at her face and seeing the tube, but also not wanting to see her chest move in such a mechanical way. Ryan instead turned his gaze to her hand, his own big ones, coming around her tiny one, and his heart hurt some more as he took in her bare fingers.

It wasn’t right.

He had wasted so much time trying to make his proposal perfect that he had forgotten what it was all about.

He’d wanted to propose to her in order to show her how much she meant to him. But now Vivian had nearly gone to the other side not knowing just how much Ryan cared about her. Bringing her cold hand to his lips, he kissed her knuckles and then brought it back down to the bed, (the lack of a ring bothered him, but it was a problem that he would deal with in the future).

"Thank you for staying," He whispered, and then proceeded to spend the rest of his visit with her crying silent tears.