Chapter 243: Sink In
Vivian’s POV
The way that the world worked, was truly so weird that reality was almost impossible to believe.
Bryce had tried to kill her. He had put his hands around her neck and had actually intended to squeeze all of the life out of her. She had seen the look in his eyes, that man had not been intending to let go until she ended up as a corpse. Now, in a turn of events that she never would have seen coming, he was the one who was no longer alive.
He had set out to kill her, and he most likely would have succeeded had Ryan not stopped him. But now Bryce was the one who was no longer breathing.
The news had come from the mouth of a police officer, the cranky woman delivering the news with her usual blunt honesty. That should have made it easy to believe, and yet Vivian was having trouble letting it all sink in.
Never in her life had she heard of karma finding someone’s address that quick, yet that seemed to be the case when it came to her ex.
Bryce was dead, the man who had tormented her for years was well and truly gone.
...Bryce was dead.
She tried the sentence again in her head and found that she was still struggling to believe it. Letting the information rattle around in her head some more, Vivian tried to get the words to make sense, but somehow she was struggling with that.
How in the world was Bryce dead? He had always gone on and on like he was some perfect immortal. He’d tried his very best to make sure that she reached the grave first. The man had used his words to cut her down, and in their last encounter he had used his hands, yet somehow he was the one who was gone.
"Are you okay?" The question caught her by surprise, but she did not give any outward reaction. Instead, she blinked slowly as she cleared her thoughts.
Realizing that she had been standing in front of the fridge for a few minutes without taking anything out, she turned to her boyfriend.
"I am trying to wrap my head around the fact that he is truly gone," Moving towards her, Ryan took her by the elbow, then he gently pulled her away and shut the fridge door before guiding her to the couch.
***
"Do you think that I am a bad person?" Vivian found herself asking, as she cuddled up to Ryan. His refusal was nearly instantaneous, "Absolutely not. You are one of the best human beings that I know. You do not have a single evil bone in your body, Vivian Rose. Why would you even ask me such a question?" Burying her nose against his chest and rubbing her face there for a bit, Vivian forced herself to move back and then look him directly in the eyes.
"When detective Rogers told me that Bryce had been found dead. The first thought I had was not...oh no he is gone, how horrible. Instead, I was happy. A man is dead, Ryan. He will never walk the earth again, and yet I was celebrating. What sort of a monster am I?"
Instead of agreeing with him that she was a selfish, horrible person who was so unforgiving she had been glad that her ex had died. Ryan pulled her in for a far too tight hug that ended up being exactly what she needed. When the hug ended, Vivian almost wanted to rush back into Ryan’s personal space, but she held back. When he began to speak, she was all ears, and she instantly soothed not just by his tone, but by his words as well.
"Listen to me, Vivian Rose. You are a wonderful human being. So what if you are glad that Bryce is dead. Who wouldn’t be?" A good person would not have been happy, Vivian wanted to answer, but she bit her tongue and let Ryan finish what he had to say.
"Your attacker can’t hurt you anymore. He is gone. Had it been up to him that man would have ended you and he would not have felt bad about it even for a second," Reaching out, Ryan gently cupped her face between his hands. His lips briefly pressed against her own before he pulled back, his forehead resting against hers instead.
"If anyone has earned the right to be happy at that man’s passing, it is you. You could have been throwing a party by now to show how joyful you are at the news. But because you are such a pure soul, the moment you felt a shred of joy, you shut it down, feeling guilty," It was hard to come up with arguments against his logic while he was holding her as gently as he was. So Vivian let herself begin to entertain the thought that Ryan’s perspective might be the right one.
"So never ever think of yourself as a bad person, my sweet Vivian. You are a human being. Once upon a time you cared for that man, so it is only right that the feelings you get when it comes to the news of his death be conflicting. It would be scary if your feelings on the matter were black and white, so whatever it is that you are feeling right now let it out," The moment that he finished speaking, and let go of her face in order to hug her, Vivian suddenly found herself unable to stop crying. Hiding her face in the crook of his neck, she let her tears fall. And as she cried her heart out, she realized something. Her tears were not solely those of sadness.
Sure, sadness was a part of it, but there was also rage, happiness, relief, and Vivian let herself feel all of that as she cried. Letting herself go because she knew that Ryan would hold her up no matter what.