Chapter 204: Slowly Losing Hope
{Third Person}
Amara was not surprised when Mrs. Woods gently pulled out the chair to Alexander’s right for her.
That had already become something of an unspoken arrangement between them.
What did surprise her, however, was what happened next. Instead of remaining behind with the servants, Mrs. Woods took a seat herself. Across the table, Jasper did the same.
Amara looked between them for a brief second before lowering her eyes. So... Alexander intended for them to dine together.
The thought somehow made the house feel even warmer.
Once everyone had settled, the servants waiting behind stepped forward. One by one, they placed the dishes neatly across the table before pouring everyone’s drinks. When everything had been served, Alexander spoke again.
"You may leave."
The servants bowed respectfully. "Yes, Your Highness."
Within moments, the dining room became considerably quieter.
The meal began. Everything tasted wonderful. The ingredients were fresh, the flavours delicate, and each dish complemented the next perfectly.
Without realizing it, Amara found herself eating far more than she usually did. Perhaps it was because she had spent so much time walking around the estate. Perhaps it was because she genuinely felt relaxed.
Whatever the reason, she enjoyed every bite.
She was so focused on her meal that she never once noticed Alexander occasionally looking in her direction.
Each time his gaze fell upon her, he found the sight unexpectedly amusing. She ate without the slightest restraint, not inelegantly, but simply... cheerfully.
A quiet thought crossed his mind. ’So she can eat like this.’
For some reason, watching her enjoy the meal made the atmosphere around the table feel lighter.
Barron noticed Alexander’s occasional glances but wisely chose not to comment. He hid the smile threatening to appear behind his glass.
By the time dinner came to an end, Amara felt pleasantly full. She set down her cutlery before looking toward Alexander.
"Thank you for the meal."
Alexander gave a slight nod. "Mm."
Amara rose from her chair. "If you’ll excuse me, I’d like to retire for the night."
"Go ahead."
She inclined her head politely. "Good night."
Mrs. Woods rose as well and quietly followed her from the dining room. Their footsteps gradually faded into the distance.
Silence settled over the house once more.
A short while later, Alexander and Barron stepped onto the terrace overlooking the gardens. The evening air was cool and refreshing.
Alexander sat comfortably with a cup of freshly brewed tea resting in one hand. Beside him, Barron leaned back in his chair with a bottle of beer, looking far more relaxed than he ever had inside the palace.
Neither of them spoke for several minutes. The peaceful silence was interrupted only by the gentle rustling of leaves in the evening breeze. Then—
"Meow."
Both men instinctively turned toward the doorway. Ginger padded out onto the terrace with her tail raised high.
She looked around briefly before making a beeline for Alexander. Without hesitation, she stopped beside his chair, circled his feet once, and lay down obediently against them.
She looked perfectly content, her tail lazily swaying once before becoming still.
Barron watched the scene unfold before a smile slowly spread across his face. He lifted his bottle slightly toward Alexander. "Looks like your scent drew her to you."
Alexander lowered his eyes briefly. His gaze rested on Ginger for only a second before he looked away again, as though the cat’s presence made no difference to him whatsoever.
He lifted his teacup and took another unhurried sip.
Barron let out a quiet sigh. Sometimes, he genuinely wondered if there was anything capable of stirring his cousin’s emotions.
He took another drink from his bottle before deciding to ask the question that had been on his mind for some time.
"Are you planning to continue searching for your mate?"
Alexander remained silent for a brief moment before answering calmly. "I never stopped." He continued, his tone as level as ever. "The search has continued all this time."
Then he paused briefly before adding, "Just as Zarek has continued monitoring my movements."
Barron nodded slowly. That much did not surprise him. Over the years, Zarek had never truly relaxed his vigilance. Although the Second Prince had become less blatant recently, Barron knew there were still eyes watching Alexander.
Alexander set his teacup down. Then, without warning, he said quietly, "I’ve chosen to take my heart and mind off the matter."
Barron froze. He straightened in his chair so abruptly that the beer bottle in his hand nearly slipped.
"...What?" His eyes widened.
Alexander met his gaze calmly. "I meant exactly what I said."
Barron searched his cousin’s face, hoping to find some trace of sarcasm, but there was none. "You mean..." He hesitated. "...you’re no longer thinking about finding your mate?"
Alexander gave a small nod.
Barron stared at him in disbelief. "Why?" He frowned deeply. "What made you change your mind?" Then his voice softened. "Have you... lost hope of living much longer?"
Silence settled between them. The evening breeze drifted across the terrace, gently stirring the leaves of the nearby trees.
For several moments, Alexander said nothing. His eyes remained fixed somewhere beyond the gardens. When he finally spoke, his voice was quieter than before. "I’m tired."
Barron listened without interrupting.
"I’m tired of allowing myself to hope."
Alexander’s expression remained composed, but there was an unmistakable weariness beneath the calm.
"Every lead has ended the same way." He looked down at the tea in his cup. "I’ve spent years believing the next search might finally produce an answer. It never did."
His fingers lightly traced the rim of the porcelain cup. "I don’t want to keep living that way."
Barron felt a heaviness settle in his chest.
Alexander continued. "If my life is destined to be short..." He paused briefly before finishing the thought. "...then I’d rather spend whatever time I have left living comfortably."
His gaze lifted toward the night sky. "Whether that time is long or short, I don’t wish to spend it constantly worrying about something beyond my control."
Barron slowly lowered his eyes. Now he understood. Alexander had not given up searching. The search itself would continue, but what he had abandoned was the endless cycle of hope followed by disappointment.
Barron quietly looked away. For the first time in a long while, he felt utterly helpless. As Alexander’s cousin, there was nothing he wanted more than to help him, yet this was the one problem he could never solve.
No amount of influence, wealth or power could produce a destined mate.
Barron released a slow sigh. "I wish there was something I could do."
Alexander simply picked up his tea again. "There isn’t."
The atmosphere grew noticeably solemn. Barron disliked it. They had only just escaped the suffocating atmosphere of the palace, and he had no intention of allowing the same heaviness to follow them here.
He cleared his throat before deliberately steering the conversation elsewhere.
"So..." He leaned back in his chair again. "When do you start lecturing again?"
Alexander answered almost immediately. "In a week." Then he took another sip of his tea. "Fortunately, I only have to teach twice a week."
"That certainly makes things easier."
"It does."
Barron smiled faintly. "I suppose your students will be glad to have Professor Alexander back."
Alexander neither confirmed nor denied the remark.
He simply looked out across the moonlit gardens once more as the cool evening breeze swept quietly through the estate, carrying with it a peace neither of them had experienced in a very long time.