Chapter 200: Vulnerable
[Music recommendation: Alexey Kosenko - Melancholy]
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Back in the bedroom, Gavriel silently carried Aliana toward the bed.
Stopping by the bedside, he gently lowered them and laid Aliana down. When he pulled away slightly, he paused only because she hadn’t loosened her grip around his neck.
He pulled back just enough to finally see her face. Her eyes remained cast downward, her lashes still damp from her earlier tears, and the tip of her nose was red.
Placing one hand at the side of her head, he lifted the other to stroke her cheek, wiping away the faint traces of moisture beneath her eyes.
"Want to say something?" he asked in a low voice.
She continued to stare down, slowly shaking her head.
Watching her refuse to respond or even look at him made him release a soft sigh.
"Ana?" He called her name so softly this time, carrying a tender gentleness she had never heard from him before. "Look at me."
A few seconds ticked by before she finally lifted her glistening, light grey eyes to meet his. They looked at him as if they were silently screaming for help, sending a sharp, painful squeeze straight through Gavriel’s heart at the sight of them.
So he leaned down, resting his forehead against hers while he continued to gaze into her eyes, whispering, "Don’t be scared, Ana."
Her eyes widened slightly at his words. She felt his fingers trace her cheek before weaving into the softness of her hair, his rare gentleness wrapping around her. "You can tell me anything you want. You know that, right?"
As she continued to stare into those magnetic, icy blue eyes, he murmured, "I will never judge you, Aliana. So tell me whatever you want, whenever you are ready, alright?"
Her vision blurred instantly, her lips trembling at his words because she was truly scared out of her wits. The terror gripping her was unlike anything she had ever experienced before. It was not a fear born from seeing a ghost or a monster... it was a deep, dark horror of what she was reeling from... herself.
What she had witnessed in those memories scared the living daylights out of her, knowing that she was the one who had... kil... She was too terrified to even finish the thought.
More than that, she was going to marry this man right in front of her... who was being so gentle with her... telling her that she could tell him anything and that he would never judge her.
But how could she?
Telling him about the supernatural occurrences in her life was one thing, but telling him that he was going to marry a... murderer brought fresh tears to her eyes.
She was terrified of what was happening to her body... she was scared of what she might do to the next person and, more than anything, God forbid if she ever did anything to Gavriel.
No! She couldn’t.
Not now, not ever.
She could never tell him what she had done to Jacob, even when she did not understand how it had happened.
More than anything, she was terrified that Gavriel would look at her with disgust, to the point where he would never want to touch her again or look at her with the tender gaze he held right now.
Oh God, she truly did not know what to do with herself anymore.
She had never felt so utterly lost. She felt it was deeply selfish of her to hide this from him, but beyond that, something inside her broke on a fundamentally human level at the thought of inflicting such horror on another person.
Her emotions overwhelmed her, and silent tears began to stream down her face until a soft, fractured sob escaped her lips, no matter how much she tried to suppress it. She felt pathetic for weeping at every turn in front of the man who was to be her husband, feeling entirely exposed and vulnerable.
Gavriel could clearly feel every single negative emotion spiralling out of control within her, and nothing scared him more than the thought of her powers losing control once again and ending up harming her.
So he reached out, cupped both her cheeks, and whispered, "Don’t cry, baby. You are safe. I won’t leave, I promise."
But you know that thing that happens whenever someone asks you not to cry and is so gentle with you? You end up crying even more. That was exactly what was happening to Aliana. Another sob escaped her as more tears rolled down her cheeks, and Gavriel just couldn’t bear to watch.
"Shh," he whispered as he wiped away her tears again. It was useless because they just wouldn’t stop, and her broken sobs continued to escape her lips.
That familiar, suffocating sense of helplessness sank deep into Gavriel’s heart. "It’s alright," was all he could manage to say as she wept.
Unable to bear the sight of her pain, he slowly buried his face in her hair and wrapped his arms securely around her, holding her perfectly still. He felt her frame shake with every silent sob, her grip remaining locked around his neck as her warm tears soaked into his skin.
He didn’t know how much time had passed as he remained that way until her sobs grew quieter and less frequent.
A sense of heaviness settled deeper into his own heart the longer he heard her cry like this, and the more he longed for an outlet to release his own shimmering emotions that he didn’t dare show in front of her.
At first, he thought she was weeping simply because she was terrified after seeing that creature and experiencing the chaos with her power in the living room, but her emotions screamed otherwise.
There was an unbridled wave of fear, guilt, and even disgust that made him question everything.
Fear he understood, but why guilt and disgust?
What was going on in her mind that was making her weep in such a heartbroken manner?
He did not know the answer yet.
But he would make sure to find out.
Soon, when he felt her grip loosen around his neck, he slowly pulled back to see she had fallen asleep. Staring down at her tear-streaked face, she looked so utterly vulnerable that a fierce wave of protectiveness rushed through him.
Leaning down, he planted a gentle kiss on her cheek before wiping away the last of her tears and finally untangling himself to rise from the mattress.
He noticed how she stirred at the sudden loss of his warmth, so he moved to tuck the blanket over her before walking over to tend to the fire in the fireplace.
The sun was slowly preparing to rise, so he drew the thick curtains shut to ensure she got her much-needed rest.
After checking on her one last time and seeing that she was resting peacefully, he finally headed toward the door.
Every ounce of gentleness drained from his expression the moment he stepped into the hallway. It was time to speak with the couple and demand the answers he required.