The Escape of Layla

"You don't look great."

"... Huh?

"Those clothes, they don't look good on Leila"

For what I was up to, the first voice emanating from His Highness's mouth is such a word, it kind of claps me out. I look at my monastic clothes again, but I liked the simple and qualitative workmanship. Due to the pale color of my hair, I do tend to have a blurry impression when I wear white clothes, but I never thought they would even tell me that it doesn't look good on me. Although it is not expected to be mentioned in the outfit itself.

"... because this is the prescribed outfit of this monastery"

If I smiled vaguely, His Highness was still looking at me with an emotionally unreadable look. Those eyes haven't changed since we first met. Even now that I heard the true thoughts of His Royal Highness from Mr. Leanhardt, he was still very much invisible to me.

But unlike when I was locked in that room, is there not a color of hatred in those eyes? I have a much calmer eye than those two weeks. I was reassured not least by the fact. Your Highness will be able to talk to you properly.

"Thank you for taking the time to get to my feet. Besides, I'm really sorry that you seem to be waiting for the disposition of Rose and the Duke's house"

Thank you again and say thanks and apologies. His Highness opened his mouth in a pale manner.

"Nothing good.... than that, how did you get out of that room?

The distance remained open for discussion towards the face, but it could not be approached without permission. I return the answer as calmly as possible, taking questions from His Highness, who is pompous and zero.

"... the mage I spoke to before took me out"

"Mage? Are you still saying that..."

His Highness slowly walked toward me and eventually looked down at me at a distance for each person. His Highness's hand stretches out to my cheek and is gently turned upwards so that I can gaze at His Highness.

"... you don't look like you're into religion"

"Right. We don't share more faith than people do."

I love Mr. Leanhardt, but it's not like I admire him again. In the sense of faith, as a nun, I would be a little short.

"It was unexpected that you would abandon your sister and the Duke's house and run away."

"... Nor did I ever think I would choose this path. But I didn't want Rose's sins and our thoughts to be yet-free, depending on his deal with Lewis as it was.... Nevertheless, I apologize for pretending to be the trading opportunity Lewis gave me at the corner"

I abandoned him, and he still hurts in the back of my chest. Yes, I let go of my honesty and the art of protecting the Duke's house for my own good. But I'm the only one who chose this path, no regrets.

"Sin liquidates as sin and this is how I wanted to face Lewis...... I ran away from Lewis once... and I never wanted to be out of your mind again."

"I didn't know you could hurt me so much and still say that... that's a big deal. Haven't you had enough pain?

His Highness reached for my neck when he smiled at the end of the line. At the same time that brutal colors appeared in his eyes, he felt a little deeper and shuddered unexpectedly. I came to the carotid artery. His Royal Highness's fingertips made me aware of a pulse that was accelerated by tension and fear.

"... you still look at me with such frightened eyes"

Oh, no. If you get alarmed, you're going to get caught up in His Highness's pace again. The intertwined sight of His Highness is mixed with obsession again at some point, and the skin that received that sight sweats disgustingly. He said he was determined to face His Highness, but his heart was fast and painful. I manage to contain the upset and gently open my mouth.

"Lewis - No, Your Royal Highness, I have something to say. I have sinned one thing."

For a moment His Highness looked offended by what he called His Highness, not his name. But only here must we properly confess to him as His Royal Highness the King, not him as Lewis. Lower your gaze gently and drool your head.

"I know the truth about the accident two years ago. And on top of that, I hid it."

"... two years ago? You mean that accident where Leila got kicked by a horse."

"Yes."

Take a deep breath only once with your face down. It was I who decided to liquidate my sins. Don't hesitate.

"The mastermind of that accident is Rose. Seeking to break my engagement with Your Highness, I rammed the horse...... it's too crude a conspiracy. It was no surprise that the harm had been done to His Highness. I'm so sorry I was covering it up while I was aware of it."

An eternal silence comes. His mouth was dry and his heart sounded in the back of his ear.

But the next spinned word of His Highness was too unexpected.

"I knew."

"... Huh?

"That woman apologized to Leila so many times for saying so. I knew."

When His Highness puts his hand on my cheek, he turns it up with a half-strong trick. I can't believe His Highness knew the truth about that accident. Yet I didn't know why I would have a deal like that with me without executing Rose.

"... have you forgiven Rose?

"No, I'm not forgiving you. Honestly, when I found out the truth about the accident, I really wanted to kill that woman"

That would be the case, too. I can't agree that His Majesty's hands are dirty with blood, but there's no wonder His Highness is so angry that he killed Rose on the spot. Where I had disposed of Rose, a great sinner, inside, there would have been no one to blame.

Did His Royal Highness's natural calmness retain his reason? Or did you want Rose to be an ingredient in your deal with me until you swallowed even that anger?

"... so much so that you wanted to capture me?

I don't think it's worth it. I wonder what I am to His Highness.

His Highness's pale eyes are directed at me so that I can see through even such confusion of mine.

"Half correct, but for different reasons"

Well, I'll talk to you later if I feel like it, and rarely did His Highness answer to the rap.

"So I guess there's something else you want to talk to me about. Shall I hear it?"

His Royal Highness's fingertips glimpse through his neck. Chilly with that feeling, I closed my eyes and breathed just for a moment.

"So... sweeten to your words"

I can't help but be scared of His Highness's fingertips attached to the neck muscles, but properly, I must say. I have to tell Your Highness how honest I feel.

"... Lewis, I... have been your fiancée for all those years... and I have admired you"

I look up into His Highness's pale eyes and tell him clearly. Only for a moment, His Highness's eyes opened to surprise. Only at that moment had the dark temperament and obsession disappeared, turning into pale eyes as beautiful as a gem, which I had often seen in the days when I was my fiancé.

"It was so much fun seeing you once a month... I've read your letter over and over until I got a wrinkle on my note."

I miss it now, I think back to a time when I was letting my heart pour into my pale first love. His Highness's presence was so great for me in solitude that neither my parents nor my sister could lean on me. I was so excited that I couldn't sleep the night before the day I met His Highness, and I kept not a single letter I received from His Highness without throwing it away. The gift from His Highness had been cherished so as not to scratch one.

It wasn't intense love. Either that or it was such a sweet love, like a relationship that went one step further from friendship. It was sad to think that His Highness's thoughts would not be right for me, but it was still just fun to be by your side.

"... which is why it was so sad that Lewis was taking Rose's hand when I woke up from two years of sleep. Besides, when I heard Rose had a child in her stomach...... I was so desperate that I thought I should not have woken up. It is also true that I had the feeling that I had been betrayed somewhere. … As a result, it was a mistake"

At that time, there was no way I could think that Rose's belly child was not His Highness's son. No matter how calm you were, you wouldn't have thought Rose was possessing the unjust child. It seems like an excuse, but no matter how many times I've reflected on my actions, I can only say that there was nothing I could do about all this.

His Highness was just quietly listening to my words. My heart stays on the early bell unchanged, but once I open my mouth, my emotions overflow with words when I make it strange.

"For a month I rose in that despair. Sometimes I felt like stuffing Lewis... unfortunately I didn't have the courage to do that then"

I still think from time to time. Before escaping from the Duke's house, I was only able to ask His Royal Highness, "How did you love Rose?" I wonder if we would ever have stuck around so far. More importantly, if even a word of "likes" had been conveyed to His Highness in his time as a fiancé, maybe things would have changed considerably.

The only thing missing from me and Your Highness, I'm sure, was just one word. It was kind of ironic, but I just had to accept that there was nothing I could do to make it so different, just a little bit, my chest ached.

"Sealing my thoughts on Lewis, the phrase that bothered me that way, I decided to run away.... you got away with it without facing it, so you're cowardly. But I couldn't help it then.... I left the Duke's house ready to die if I had to live so miserably. If you say you were waking up self-abandonment, you might be."

The feeling of cold rain comes back that day you ran away. The rain-stained and heavier coat adds even more misery. I laughed ridiculously at myself that the rainwater sticking to my skin gradually took away my body temperature and I could lose my life.

In the rain, I met Mr. Leanhardt.

At first, I'm sure, I was just bonded by his kindness extended to a weak heart. Mr. Leanhardt knew he wouldn't hurt me without darkness, so I can't deny that he was spending his days for a passive reason saying it's okay to be by his side.

But as I spent more time with Mr. Leanhardt, the thought gradually changed shape, too. His eyes staring at me mercifully, his delightful grin when I told him I liked the anemone flowers, the tenderness of the hand offered, burned and couldn't leave.

Oh, I'm attracted to him, I was already obsessed when I realized.

Everything about Mr. Leenhardt's tender, carefree eyes and the surrounding atmosphere, his voice, his laughter, his way of speaking and his scent, it's just loving to say he's him. I've never known such intense emotions in my life. It was Mr. Leenhardt who made me hold that emotion and who told me that I had a bright enough fever to scorch myself.

"... On the way out, I met someone. He was a gentle, clumsy, slightly strange man everywhere.... He saw me as just Layla, he loved me. That love healed my heart's wounds. And I, too, became increasingly attracted to him."

Her Royal Highness looked down at me quietly with her pale eyes. As always, the emotions remain unreadable, but I must convey them properly.

"... that day I fled the Duke's house, I bid farewell to my thoughts on Lewis. And now, there's someone I want to live with. So..."

Looking behind His Highness's eyes, I bid farewell to my pale first love.

"- I can't be Lewis'. I can't go back to when I admired you."

In the Ice Chapel, silence comes. The expression of His Highness, illuminated by the pale moonshadow, was as endless as a crop, and I could not feel the human flavour somewhere.

If nothing had happened, I would have taken His Highness's hand. Happiness of scheduled harmony must have been waiting for us. But repeated bad luck and malice have broken our first love. The overwhelming irrationality close to force majeure definitely tore us apart.

If you could have at least held your heart a little stronger, if you had realized the importance of making your emotions words, then maybe it would have changed in the end.

Neither His Highness nor I knew, nor could have known, its importance. Because we were never asked to be emotional, even if we were asked to be educated or of character, in a special position with each other, Prince Wang and the Duke's Lady. Because of that, I don't think he was used to the very act of saying thoughts.

I was able to speak of my emotions because I was able to spend time as a "leila" in the capital of the phantom king. I was able to talk about my favorite teas and flowers, and I was able to tell Mr. Lienhardt that I liked him because Mr. Lienhardt asked me for love and words.

Unfortunately, I could not be such a presence to His Highness. If I had married His Highness without a thing like that, we would have spent time with each other, without realizing or making them realize the importance of putting emotions into words.

It would be a mistake to clean that up with a word of unhappiness, but it was certainly a lonely thing. Though I guess I could have been happy in a self-fulfilled world because I wouldn't have even noticed that loneliness.

The seemingly endless silence was only echoing the quiet breathing sounds of me and His Highness. Eventually, His Highness makes me laugh all the time wondering if he had a little loneliness in that look.

"... well, Leila took me..."

I'm surprised at that laugh, which is unusual and soft, even though I think it's rude. His Highness took his hand off my neck and gave him a very peaceful grin only for a moment.