Chapter 156
At that moment, the crying that had briefly subsided rose once more.
Startled, Talia withdrew her hand and stared toward the window with distorted eyes.
The piercing sound was becoming harder and harder to endure.
She wanted to make it stop somehow, yet there was nothing she could do. The helplessness felt as though her intestines were being torn apart.
Clutching the aching pain in her abdomen as though a knife had been driven into it, she slowly ran her hand over her flattened stomach.
Then a deranged thought suddenly surfaced.
'...I can simply start over from the beginning.'
She dimly realized that her thoughts were veering in a direction that was no longer sane, yet she could no longer control herself.
As though drawn by something, she reached out.
When she lifted the wrinkled hem of his tunic, the tightly drawn muscles of his waist and his solid abdomen came into view.
Her fingers slowly slid over them.
Grasping the loose trousers favored by easterners, she tugged them down slightly.
The taut tendon running toward his groin and the sharply defined curve of his hip bone were revealed.
But the tightly fastened leather laces stopped her from pulling them any farther.
She fumbled with the leather ties.
Her clumsy fingers only tightened the knot further.
Feeling herself becoming increasingly agitated, she yanked at the laces more impatiently.
Then a large hand, veins standing out beneath the skin, shot out and seized her wrist.
She looked up.
His face, clouded with confusion, filled her vision.
Narrowing his unfocused blue-gray eyes, he forced out a voice rough with sleep and edged with iron.
"...What are you doing?"
Without the slightest trace of embarrassment, Talia answered calmly.
"I... want another baby."
The drowsiness vanished from his eyes.
Turning away from the expression that looked as though he doubted what he had just heard, she reached toward the waistband of his trousers again.
Like someone possessed, she murmured,
"Give me another one. This time... I'll give birth to a healthy child."
Then my baby will stop crying so sorrowfully.
Desperately, she slipped her fingers into the clothing that had finally loosened a little.
At once, Varkas, who had remained as rigid as stone, abruptly sat upright and caught both of her wrists in a grip as tight as a snare.
As his hands tried to pull her away, something inside her mind snapped.
Talia cried out in a voice that sounded as though her insides were boiling.
"Why... why are you refusing me?"
The corners of the man's eyes slowly twisted.
His pupils, dilated into blackness, trembled almost imperceptibly.
Everything else was blurred.
So why was only this man so painfully clear?
Feeling a disgust that seemed directed at herself, she twisted violently against his grip.
"You said you'd do anything I wanted! You said you'd grant every wish I had! Give my baby back to me! The baby you wouldn't even let me hold... give my baby back!"
At that moment, she saw something collapse inside his eyes.
Murmuring words she could not understand, the man snatched up the bedsheet and wrapped it tightly around her.
Like a fish caught in a net, Talia struggled even more violently.
"Liar! You're nothing but a liar with an empty mouth! You promised you'd protect my baby, but you wouldn't even look at our child! You threw away your promise to me like it meant nothing!"
Her screams poured out one after another.
Even to her own ears, they sounded horrifying.
It was as though an evil spirit had possessed her.
Unable to contain the resentment surging through her, she beat him with all her strength, clawing at him again and again.
The man did not move.
Holding her tightly in his arms, he simply endured it all.
As though he intended to receive every filthy thing she hurled at him, he merely tightened his embrace around her thrashing body while drawing ragged breaths.
Because of that...
She became even more wretched.
Even more despicable.
Just blame me.
The way I blame myself.
It was I who tried to have a child with a body like this.
It was I who failed to protect that child.
I know that too.
So say it.
Tell me it's all my fault.
Tell me I brought this upon myself.
Tell me I killed our baby.
Fall into this abyss with me.
Roll together with me in the mud.
Break apart until you're as ruined as I am.
She looked up at him with both desperate longing and a curse burning in her eyes.
Through the tears blurring her vision, she saw a face twisted in utter [N O V E L I G H T] anguish.
Yet he remained someone who could never descend to the bottom where she existed.
The only one who became pitiful and miserable was always herself.
The man who endlessly made her feel shabby...
Insignificant...
At last, all strength to resist left her.
Her limbs fell limp.
A dry wind swept through the hollow chest where everything had long since burned away, leaving nothing but ashes.
The thick dust swirling inside her finally escaped her lips.
"...From now on... I'll never trust you again."
She felt the body pressed seamlessly against hers grow rigid.
Yet in the end, he said nothing.
He merely tightened the arms wrapped around her and leaned his exhausted body against the headboard.
A silence like a field of ruins settled over them.
At some point, the baby's crying had stopped.
Yet Talia felt no relief whatsoever.
* * *
Not long afterward, rumors began spreading throughout Laedgo Castle that the Grand Duchess had fallen into madness.
Although the stern chief maid relentlessly kept the maids' mouths under control, the whispering refused to die down.
Ever since regaining consciousness, the woman who had done nothing but sleep like someone who had lost her soul had suddenly begun venting every imaginable outburst upon the Grand Duke.
More than once, the desperate words of resentment and curses she hurled at him carried through the door and echoed into the corridor.
Sometimes they also heard objects shattering and cloth being torn apart.
Whenever the disturbance finally subsided and they rushed into the room after being summoned, they found the Grand Duchess unconscious amid utter devastation.
Only the Grand Duke seemed untouched.
As though nothing at all had happened, the man with the face of ice calmly instructed them in his cold voice to summon a priest.
The stunned maids immediately obeyed.
The same scene repeated itself over and over.
Since the Grand Duke never once yielded, the woman's violent outbursts only became more severe with each passing day.
Little by little, the voices sympathizing with the Grand Duchess began to fade.
Many even muttered that while it was tragic she had lost her first child so senselessly, it was too cruel to direct all that resentment toward the innocent Grand Duke.
Yet even those who whispered such criticism behind her back found themselves falling silent the moment they actually saw her face.
The woman who had wandered the gardens throughout autumn and winter with flushed cheeks and a dreamlike smile had lost every trace of life, becoming little more than a ghost.
Those who occasionally witnessed her slipping past the Grand Duke's ironclad watch, wandering aimlessly through the castle, could not help understanding why he endured every one of her desperate outbursts without complaint.
With a face of terrifying beauty filled only with emptiness, she walked with unsteady steps as though searching for something.
She looked as though she might scatter into smoke at any moment.
No one who witnessed such a pitiful sight could fail to feel sympathy.
Yet regardless of the servants' growing pity for the Grand Duchess, the retainers' dissatisfaction seemed only to increase day by day.
"Is the Grand Duchess still the same?"
Brisa, carrying a basket of laundry through the corridor, hastily lowered her head when she spotted Daren Dru Siorcan climbing the stairs.
Leading several knights, the man strode toward her and demanded,
"I asked about Her Highness the Grand Duchess's condition."
"Y-Your Highness is... currently taking her medicine and resting."
Though she knew perfectly well that he was asking about the Grand Duchess's state of mind, Brisa deliberately pretended to misunderstand.
After watching her silently with a cold gaze for a moment, the man let out a heavy sigh and held out a rolled parchment sealed with red wax.
"Deliver this to His Grace the Grand Duke."
Brisa quickly set the laundry basket on the floor and accepted it with both hands.
As though his business with her had ended, the man immediately continued upstairs.
Watching his retreating back for a brief moment, Brisa turned toward the Grand Duke's bedchamber to carry out the unexpected errand that had been thrust upon her.
"Your Grace, may I come in?"
She knocked cautiously.
Permission came almost immediately.
Careful not to make a sound, Brisa stepped into the dim bedchamber.
The Grand Duke was changing clothes that had been left in disarray while restraining another of his wife's violent episodes.
Rolling up the sleeves of a black velvet tunic, the man cast an indifferent glance over his shoulder.
"What is it?"
"As I was passing through the corridor... I was ordered to deliver this to Your Grace..."
Bowing respectfully, Brisa held out the sealed parchment.
The man accepted it, broke the wax seal, and unfolded it.
Brisa immediately realized that whatever was written there displeased the Grand Duke immensely.
His brows drew tightly together as his eyes raced over the contents.
Then he crushed the parchment in his hand and threw it into the fireplace.
A cold voice echoed through the room.
"I will be away for a short while. Do not take your eyes off her."