Chapter 189
Because the wolf bristled from head to tail every time it saw him, Varkas had been forced to sleep alone for the past several days.
Her decision was therefore welcome, yet it also filled him with unease.
Would I really be able to endure it to the very end?
Quietly looking down at the woman breathing evenly in his arms, Varkas let out a heavy sigh before turning toward the door.
"I'll be leaving now."
"Please... take my rain cloak."
The healer hurried after him, snatching the cloak hanging on the wall and offering it to him.
He wrapped it securely around Talia, making sure not a single part of her was exposed, before leaving the cottage.
By now, gray darkness had settled heavily over the castle gardens.
As he stepped into it, the thinning rain dampened his back and shoulders.
He hardly noticed the cold.
Every one of his senses was focused on the warm breath brushing against the back of his neck.
Carefully shielding her from the rain, he gently pulled back the hood that had been drawn low over her head.
Her thick golden eyelashes cast long shadows across her faintly flushed cheeks.
As he carefully brushed away a bead of rainwater with his thumb, her delicate eyelids fluttered open, revealing vivid blue eyes.
"Varkas...?"
"Yes. It's me."
His low, husky voice blended into the damp air.
Clearing his throat, he added,
"Go back to sleep. I'll carry you to your chambers."
Still dazed from the effects of the medicine, she quietly rested her face against his chest.
Varkas tightened the arm supporting her back.
The warmth radiating through her clothes and the sweet scent mingling with the fragrance of fresh grass struck him with a dizzying force.
After fastening the rain cloak more securely around her, he quickly crossed the dark forest beneath the falling rain.
By the time they reached the main castle, he was soaked as though he had climbed out of a river.
Yet inside, his body burned as if it were on fire.
Ignoring the startled servants rushing toward him, Varkas climbed the stairs.
"I don't require any assistance."
His warning stopped the servants in their tracks as he opened the bedroom door.
The room was brightly illuminated by candlelight.
Stepping inside, he carefully removed the rain cloak wrapped around Talia.
Fortunately, she had barely gotten wet.
After casually dropping his own soaked robe onto the floor, Varkas gently laid her upon the neatly made bed.
At that moment, a slender arm wrapped itself around his neck.
Just as he tried to straighten up, a rough breath escaped his lips.
Her softly husky voice brushed teasingly against them.
"Don't move away. It's cold."
"...My clothes are wet."
"Then hurry and take them off."
Half-lidded eyes quietly gazed up at him.
Her warm, flushed fingers brushed the wet strands of hair back from his forehead.
His heart slammed heavily against his ribs.
His eyes became fixed upon her slightly parted lips before he slowly turned his head aside.
As he tried to free himself from her embrace, warm lips suddenly covered his own.
The feeling of her small tongue slipping through the slight gap between his lips shattered his resolve without resistance.
Varkas immediately cradled the back of her head, deepening the kiss.
Her tongue tasted faintly of herbs, rich and sweet as honey.
He kissed her with quiet insistence while drawing her delicate body tightly against his own.
The water soaking into his clothes quickly spread into the fabric of her dress.
The wet silk clung tightly to her smooth skin, leaving every graceful curve plainly visible.
As his fingers traced those elegant lines, Talia briefly pulled away and murmured in a hoarse voice,
"I'm soaked too."
She slipped her fingers beneath his tunic and gently caressed the firm muscles of his abdomen.
A fierce surge of desire struck him so powerfully that his vision nearly blurred.
Grinding his teeth, Varkas caught hold of her wrist.
"Please don't touch me so carelessly."
She immediately looked at him with obvious dissatisfaction.
"Why?"
He frowned, not immediately understanding what she meant.
She continued in the same petulant tone she had used as a child whenever she had cornered him with impossible demands.
"You touch me whenever you want. So why do you always stop me whenever I try to touch you?"
Varkas looked down at her defiant face through narrowed eyes.
Is she truly asking because she doesn't know?
This woman scattered temptation wherever she went, yet there were moments when she behaved as though she knew absolutely nothing about men.
He let out a long breath.
"Because when you touch me... it's difficult to endure."
The blunt confession instantly widened her eyes.
Slowly, her gaze traveled downward.
Only then did she seem to notice the unmistakable evidence of his arousal.
A deep blush spread across both of her cheeks.
"If it's so difficult to endure... then don't endure it."
Lifting the hem of his tunic, Talia lightly traced the taut muscles of his waist with her fingertips, smiling faintly.
Varkas swallowed hard.
His entire body ached with the desire to answer her invitation.
But he could not gamble with this woman's life again.
Summoning every shred of self-control, he gently pulled himself away from her.
"...You should change into dry clothes first."
"What for?"
She sat up, looking at him with openly provocative eyes.
"We can just take them off."
At her unmistakable invitation, the faint smile he had barely managed to maintain slowly disappeared.
Varkas met her gaze with visible tension.
Between the problems with the raiders, the cultists, and the constant interference from that accursed beast, they had not had much time together.
Still, whenever the opportunity arose, they had shared lingering caresses and sweet kisses.
He had never been able to bring himself to tell her that he did not want children.
The moment he confessed it, he feared everything they had built would vanish like a mirage.
Yet he also knew he could not keep pushing her away forever with transparent excuses.
Running a hand roughly through his dripping hair, he finally admitted in a low, heavy voice,
"I don't want to place any burden on your body."
"What do you mean?"
Her voice had become dry and rough.
Watching the warmth disappear from her eyes, Varkas felt his expression stiffen with regret.
He spoke somewhat hurriedly.
"I mean... I want to avoid any risk that Your Highness might become pregnant."
The color instantly drained from her face.
"So... you also think I can't bear a child?"
Varkas's eyes froze.
"Who told Your Highness such a thing?"
"What does it matter who told me? You think the same thing!"
She stared at him resentfully, her voice trembling.
"You think I can't give birth to a proper heir either, don't you? That's why you keep rejecting me. Then just say so. Why do you keep giving me hope? Do you pity me?"
Looking down at her rigid expression, Varkas bent over the bed.
He grasped her trembling shoulders before swallowing the lips that continued spilling those absurd accusations.
Startled for a moment, she shoved him away.
Ignoring her resistance, he cupped the back of her slender neck and gently pushed his tongue between lips trembling with the verge of tears.
Before long, the hands that had been striking against his chest gradually lost their strength, clutching helplessly at his rain-soaked clothes.
He pulled her tightly against him until there wasn't the slightest space between their bodies.
Then he brushed his lips against her flushed ear and spoke slowly, emphasizing every word.
"Do you truly believe... this is because I pity you?"
Keeping her lips tightly pressed together, she glared at him with reddened eyes.
Kissing the corner of those eyes as though soothing her, he continued,
"There are already two other people in House Siorcan who can carry on the family line besides me. There is no reason for Your Highness to endanger your health simply to bear an heir."
"...But I want to have a child again."
She whispered with unmistakable longing.
"Thanks to Tiuran, I've become much healthier than before. This time... I'm sure I can give birth safely."