The Laziest God Mortal Reincarnation

’And so, to heal is not merely to mend the body, but to awaken the song of life within, where flesh, bone, and spirit entwine under the gaze of the unseen.’

After several hours of continuous reading, I finally set the heavy book down with a sigh of relief. Closing its thick covers, I placed it beside Valerian and leaned back.

"I’m done. My brain desperately needs rest now."

Valerian’s brown eyes narrowed with clear disapproval. "I told you to grasp the concepts in what you were reading. Anyone can simply read; what I expected from you was understanding."

I tilted my head, confusion evident as I hugged my pillow closer. "That’s exactly what I did. I read it, I understood it, and I even memorized everything," I said lazily.

A flicker of irritation broke across Valerian’s otherwise calm face. "Then you won’t mind if I ask you a few questions. If you answer every one of them correctly, I will allow you to sleep until we reach the border. But if you answer even a single question wrong, your sleep will be limited to four hours per day."

At that, my eyes widened, and I sat up with sudden attention. A confident smile tugged at my lips. "Go ahead."

Valerian’s eyes narrowed slightly as he leaned back in his seat, the faint creak of the carriage wood punctuating the sudden gravity in the air.

"Very well," he said, his calm voice carrying the weight of a silent challenge. "Let us begin."

He gestured to the thick book I had just closed, its worn leather cover gleaming faintly in the sunlight that filtered through the small carriage window.

"First question," he began, his tone sharp but measured. "Name the four major bones that form the human arm, and describe their placement from shoulder to hand."

Without hesitation, I replied, "Humerus, radius, ulna, and the carpal bones. The humerus is the single upper arm bone connecting the shoulder to the elbow. Below that, the radius and ulna form the forearm, the radius on the thumb side and the ulna on the pinky side. The carpals are the bones at the wrist, forming the connection to the hand."

Valerian gave the smallest nod, though his eyes betrayed nothing.

"Second question: Identify the organ responsible for purifying the blood and describe its protective advantages to the human body."

I tilted my head lazily, hiding the spark of amusement in my eyes. "The liver. It detoxifies the blood, processes nutrients, and stores energy. Its large size and regenerative ability make it one of the most resilient organs, capable of withstanding damage that would cripple others."

A flicker of surprise crossed his face, quickly masked by his usual composure.

"Correct," he said, his tone even. "Third question: Explain the difference between a sprain and a fracture, and how a healer would approach each."

"Sprains are injuries to ligaments, stretched or torn connective tissue, while fractures are breaks in the bone. Healing magic for sprains focuses on restoring the elasticity and integrity of the ligament, while fractures require alignment and careful reconstruction of the bone matrix before accelerated regeneration."

Valerian’s gaze deepened, searching for any falter in my delivery. He found none.

"Fourth question, and it will not be simple," he said at last, leaning forward with an intensity that filled the small carriage. "Name the three systems most vital to immediate survival, and explain how they interact to sustain life in a mortal body."

"The circulatory system, the respiratory system, and the nervous system," I answered without pause. "Circulation transports oxygen from the lungs to every cell, while the nervous system governs both voluntary and involuntary functions, including the heartbeat and breathing. All three work together, stop one, and the others collapse in moments."

Silence followed, broken only by the steady rhythm of hooves and the soft creak of the carriage as it rolled along the road. Valerian’s face was unreadable for a heartbeat longer, then finally, he exhaled a quiet sigh and leaned back.

"You pass," he said simply. "Sleep until the border if you like."

I grinned, pulling my pillow close and curling against the side of the carriage. "I told you I understood," I murmured, already half‑asleep.

Valerian shook his head, a hint of a smile ghosting across his lips. "Perhaps there is hope for you yet... if you can stay awake long enough to use it."

The carriage rocked gently, the hum of the road a lullaby, and within moments, I drifted into the world of dreams again, carrying with me the quiet satisfaction of having defended my right to nap.

***

(Valerian Alzette’s POV)

I watched as the 10‑year‑old boy drifted into sleep, his small chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. He had closed his eyes only a moment ago, and now he lay utterly still, as though the world itself dared not disturb his rest. Outwardly, I remained composed, but inside, I marvelled at him.

His intelligence was beyond anything I had anticipated. I had taken his high intelligence stat into account when I gave him the book. With an intelligence of around 100, I had expected him to take at least two days to fully understand and memorize the first Chapter.

Yet, in less than seven hours, he had achieved the impossible, not only mastering the first Chapter, but absorbing all seven Chapters with apparent ease.

This feat was nothing short of astonishing. For a newly awakened individual to display such mastery was unthinkable.

It signified that he could access one hundred percent of his stats immediately after awakening, a phenomenon that defied every convention I knew.

Ordinarily, it would take a year, sometimes two, for someone to fully harness the extent of their enhanced abilities. Even longer for stats tied to a special constitution. This crucial interval, known as the adaptation phase, had simply... not existed for him.

He had skipped it entirely.

Even his willpower was remarkable. At first, he treated the task like an inconvenience, his tone dripping with the usual laziness that seemed to define him.

Yet the moment he focused, the shift was absolute. His concentration became an unbreakable wall; nothing, not even the simple ritual of eating, could tear him away from his studies.

He failed to notice that he had skipped lunch entirely, despite my own meal being enjoyed right before his eyes.

It was as if, once his mind locked onto a goal, the world itself ceased to exist.

The implications were staggering.

This boy was not simply talented. He was a phenomenon that refused to abide by the limits of ordinary growth.

His path toward mastery would be unlike any other. And with such willpower hidden beneath that lazy exterior... he was destined to rewrite expectations, whether he realized it yet or not.

For a fleeting moment, I felt a twinge of jealousy, but just as quickly, I cast it aside.