The Marquess’s Amnesia

IV. Episode Five: A Vow in Zero Tears Will Perspective

I couldn't wait to pick him up. I stopped the hand I raised to knock at the conversation between my wife and the samurai I heard in front of my wife's room.

The name of a person named "Cedric" who apparently seems to be the man who came out there. Liliana's voice, which speaks its name, was playing, even saying Prince after being proposed.

But my burning jealousy quenches fire in an instant by the words of my dedicated butler, who is also a dairy brother.

"I would definitely be more of a prince to your wife if I gave you a flower ring than my husband, who didn't make one of the rings if it wasn't necessary, even if it was made of flowers."

I didn't know there was no sound at all.

I stopped knocking with a staring face and turned my heel back to the dining room. Frederick follows behind with a cool face.

Go into the dining room and call the butler who closes the door behind you.

"... Frederick"

"Yes."

"... who is Cedric"

In the week leading up to yesterday when I was on the bed, Arthur and Frederick taught me about that relationship with all the people I'd forgotten. Of course about my own family, but there were stories about the Knights, about childhood training, about nobility, some of them, of course, about Liliana. But I don't remember the name Cedric coming up.

"... Come on, why don't you ask your wife directly?

The nanny brothers replied vegan.

Liliana felt a tingle in the past week that all the servants of the mansion loved and cared for her. Because the servants who come to take care of us are always cold. Especially remarkable was Elsa, a Liliana maid of honor. She tries to keep me away from Liliana like a mother who protects her child if there is a gap, with a verse she thinks I will do Liliana harm. And they all praise her when they open their mouths and say, "A kind wife," "A shrewd wife," "A modest, caring wife." He said to me, "That and this are beautiful. Please just forget about it. You'll feel good," even though it's only a polite but spicy bitterness. And when it came to Elsa, he called men plain heckles.

Near the door I wait for Liliana as she goes and goes.

I snuck up on Arthur and asked him who Cedric was, but he chuckled. The butler said the same thing to Frederick, "I was wondering if I could ask your wife directly," he said.

It's nothing to blame for having someone like that in Liliana who can't help but say she's only sixteen years younger than me. Me and I were just a tactical marriage for my convenience, and she was only fifteen when we got married. And more importantly, before I lost my memory, I also know that I was too selfish to be her prince.

"... Frederick"

Frederick tilts his neck as he watches me wander in front of the door half-eyed.

"Well, did I ever really give Liliana anything?"

"Well, not a single thing about my husband being himself. My husband also asked our tailor for a ready-made dress, so Elsa and the others re-tailored it all to his wife's size. The sewing boxes and embroidery threads that my husband may desire, my husband chose only to give me permission to buy and money."

"... not one of the flowers?

"My husband didn't give it to his wife, not one of the flowers, not one of the hats, not one of the sweets, not one of the love sentences, not even one of the wedding rings, and I didn't know one of his preferences. Hmm, that's a pretty shitty word to put it this way."

Frederick laughed more refreshingly.

But those eyes aren't even smiling at the dust. Does this nipple brother care more about his wife than I do again?

"... what I care about is my lord, my husband"

Apparently, like that samurai, she also possesses the skills to read the Lord's mind.

"If my husband and wife were hanging off a cliff, I would help my husband first, no matter what anyone says. So I don't care who resents me or hates me. But this past year you have been... a man, a gentleman, a knight, the worst.... That's why I'm mad at you, William."

Frederick's green eyes narrowed lonely.

The tone changed and they called me by name. I felt that his name, which was not firm enough to be mine, was firm enough to be called to him. It was definitely proof that he was in my lost memory.

It was when I opened my mouth for now looking for the next word. I inadvertently hear a voice from across the door that resembles a scream and look at each other.

I'll check it out.

With that said, Frederick turns back to the door where he was just turning his back and goes out into the hallway. But the moment I opened the door, I heard Elsa calling her "ma'am" over and over like she was in a hurry and I rushed out into the hallway trying to push Frederick over.

There was an appearance of Liliana and Elsa grabbing her shoulder at the end of her eyes and nose. Liliana is shaking her neck sideways with her ears blocked with her hands for some reason.

"Liliana!"

Liliana's body shook about and I rushed out to grab that thin arm and take it. I get on my knees too so that I can be stuck with Liliana, who sits up when I sloppy. In my arms Liliana blocks her ears, rattling and trembling, scratching her feet as if trying to escape. Those eyes look at me, but they're scared to see something in those silver eyes that's not me.

"Liliana, it's me, hang on"

Her colorless lips trembled and she distorted her face crying. The other servants who heard the noise gather together.

"Oh, Father... please, forgive me... eh"

With the vomited words she stretched herself up and closed her eyes to withstand something. Grab a thin wrist and let it come off your ear.

"Liliana!"

Liliana slowly lifted that lid, stopping her resistance perfectly whether she recognized me or not, after several calls.

A vain silver eye looks at me and turns to the other side, beyond my back.

Liliana shook her lips when she saw our faces peeking into herself.

"It's a good idea."

I did find my lips that had lost color imitated the words that way.

The next moment my unspeakable anger and impatience covered my chest, I felt like I wanted to cry. Liliana was smiling quietly. He's just smiling quietly, shaking that luxurious body with a bright blue face.

"Liliana, I will never let you down, so let yourself go"

I don't even know what to do. Her thin hands as they are thrown out are terribly sad, and I stand up with her softly in my arms to delude everything. He was light and small enough to clap out.

"It's okay, it's okay, Liliana"

The voice that told me to whisper shivered.

Liliana closes her eyes again. I found myself losing my mind to the slightly increased weight.

"Elsa, come on. Frederick, call Dr. Morgan as soon as you can. Arthur, I asked for the rest."

I walked into her bedroom with three replies on my back.

Occasional winds rocked the rattles and windows. The flames of the candlestick placed beside me shake loosely and unreliably.

If the wind blows away, Liliana's slightly rough breath falls into a quiet room. I reach right into the cloth that was hung on the edge of the washer and wipe the sweat that seeped into Liliana's forehead. I sat in a chair placed beside the bed and held her hand, and sometimes, all I could do was wipe my sweat like this.

Not that it's high heat, but Liliana got a little fever. According to Dr. Morgan, who dropped back in the guest room, it's a fever coming from a mental shock. He told me that when I first came to this mansion I often fell asleep with a fever.

I don't even know that. I guess Frederick and Arthur reported it to me, but I don't remember. Even if I hadn't lost my memory, I was suspicious if I remembered.

As Liliana said, I don't have enough memories of her in me to recall.

Release the left hand you were gripping, dip the hand plush in the washer and squeeze, hanging it on the edge. I wiped my wet hand with a handkerchief and shook Liliana's hand again.

The time is already around 1: 00 A.M. I tried to get Elsa back about two hours ago but didn't listen as hard as I could. "I can't keep a wife dear to a husband I don't trust," he said clearly. But Frederick left with her, wrapped up in words about how he managed to do this, and now it was just me and Liliana.

"Liliana"

Calling in a small voice, no matter, no reply.

I can only hear you breathing painfully.

What the hell is she holding in this little body?

Liliana says she admires Elsa like her sister and mother but never shows her skin. Wear your underwear first and then have Elsa tighten your corset. She also takes a bath herself, dresses herself at night, and doesn't show her skin thoroughly. Elsa called another maid when she kicked the men out and made me change Liliana, but she was pressed just in case. "Make sure you let her take off her dress, take off her corset, wipe her sweat, and tell her she didn't see any skin just wearing negligee," she said. Leaning my neck, the only doctor Morgan who knows the secrets of that skin as a doctor told me that Liliana could refuse even Elsa if she didn't.

"... for your young daughter to bear it, it's something like despair."

Dr. Morgan muttered so sadly about Liliana's secrets.

I am my husband for once. There is no blame on God or the law for rolling Liliana's clothes and looking at her skin, but there was no way Liliana, who was trembling in my arms, could do that.

So was today at noon. Liliana, who seems to be making an ugly mistake of herself because of her stepmother and sister, was also unconsciously holding her left dovetail with thin hands. It was as if the secret there was pushing it in so it wouldn't show its face.

How could I have hit Liliana so hard? I wondered if I didn't recognize her as my wife, who was also my other favorite woman in a political marriage decided by her parents because she was aristocratic, Arthur said she wasn't.

Before I lost my memory, I thought I would hate women and be famous and not marry. She also thought she wouldn't marry for the rest of her life because she had a brother who was away from her age so she didn't have to marry me to succeed her, so she was very surprised when suddenly told she was getting married. But what I don't like about you deciding to marry yourself and marry me, I kept ignoring Liliana for a year, the magnificent butler said pale.

The reason I hated women seems to be because of the women who flocked to the title of great nobleman who earned a martial arts medal and raised his name as a hero in the war ahead. Because I don't remember it, I don't remember it yet, but when I saw the ugliness of a woman, she said I hated her.

It's about me. One thing right now, I'm not coming.

Because right now I prefer Liliana. As much as I laugh myself that love at first sight is a real pain in the ass, a man named William is attracted to a beautiful wife named Liliana.

Sometimes her character was preferred. Modest, serene, and gentle towards everyone, she is a much better person than I am as a person without the beauty of appearance.

"... n"

I hear myself whispering and I raise my face. My eyelids cramped and my left hand, which I was holding, shook my hand back.

"Liliana"

I called her name in a small voice so as not to surprise her.

Slowly long lashes trembled and silver eyes appeared. I looked back at this one in slow motion. The blurry silver eyes looked at me that way for a while, but they must have recognized me as "my husband," the next moment, her body stretched out again, wide open.

"No, no, no, no, no, no. Me."

Hold her thin shoulder back to bed softly with one hand as she tries to get up.

"It's okay, Liliana. I'm not angry with you either."

I laughed as gently as I could and hung my words gently. I've also noticed in the last few days that Liliana has as much fear of being "pissed off" as I have of the boulder.

Liliana stares at me with a crying face in her bed.

"Sir, I... here, De, dinner,"

"You don't have to rush. This is your bedroom. Don't worry, I, Elsa, Arthur, Frederick, Chef Feuille, Melissa, Ariana, no other servants, no one in this mansion is angry."

I was unfortunate but let go of Liliana's hand, take the water drain placed on the sideboard and pour about half into the glass. Liliana tries to wake up, so she puts the glass once on the sideboard and sits on the edge of the bed to support her back.

"Lean on me. It's hard to fall."

"But..."

"I don't care if you lean on ten or so people."

If I told her to tear it up, Liliana loosened her expression a little and leaned against my chest. When I gave him the glass, he held it to wrap it in his hands and gently included it in his mouth. Slowly she received the empty glass and asked for a replacement but Liliana shook her head sideways.

Drinking water and settling in, Liliana looked down at her body and seemed to notice that she was going from a dress to a silk negligee.

"Oh, uh, getting dressed... eh"

I looked back at Liliana with a bright blue face, thinking that Elsa and Dr. Morgan were right, and again, I shouted that it was okay and stroked my thin shoulder with a pound.

"Elsa and Melissa made me change, but Schmeez told me not to look at my skin because I didn't let him take it off. He said if you're sweaty and you don't like it, you can change it to the usual place."

Liliana loosened her expression plainly in a message from Elsa.

But soon again, he looks up at me with hesitation, with a look that seeps through his sad fright.

"Ho, I'm really... sorry. Corner, my husband invited me..."

"Don't worry about it. It is for everyone to feel sick. There's no way I can blame Liliana for falling and losing my memory, is there?

I'd like to lighten Liliana's mind up a little bit, but this was hard.

Plenty of interrupted conversations bring silence. I don't even know who I am with Liliana who doesn't talk much from me. I don't have the memories or topics I can talk to her about.

But I started in a gradual hurry because I felt that her relationship with not leaving anything here was going to end this way.

And as a result of her impatience, the topic I cared most about was out of my mouth on my own, except for the reason she was so disturbed.

"Who's Cedric, by the way?

After I said it, Shit, I thought.

But my impatient mouth never stops.

"Um... did they propose? It was a political marriage with me... and there was a man who was promising to marry you?

It was impossible to undo what I had said as a word where I regretted what I would do if they told me I was there. I prayed that my face from Liliana, if possible, would be that of the "adult man who can afford it".

Liliana looks up at me properly.

Cedric is my half-brother.

"... Huh?

"My husband has amnesia, so even if you don't remember, you can't force him. You must have never even met him... Cedric is my seven-bottom brother. Could you have asked Elsa? She was so sweet, she admired me, and she proposed to me when I was five."

"Well... well, my brother, yeah, my brother, my brother would have no problem with that, yeah, 'cause it's my brother!

I felt my cheeks loose at ease. Liliana reached out and removed a bag of flowers and birds embroidered in a white cloth from under the pillow. Turning her hand to her subtle, thin hips as she was about to fall, Liliana seemed obsessed and unaware of the contents of the bag.

What Liliana took out of it was a bunch of letters.

"This is how we exchange letters once a month. But it hasn't arrived yet this month... it's usually already arrived."

Liliana caressed the letter anxiously. A childish young letter spells out the name "To my favorite Lily sister".

Liliana took out the contents and spread them out. The same young letter as the address spells out recent developments. It said that the roses in the garden blossomed, that I was praised by my tutor, that I had secretly read the adventure novel, and finally, that I wanted to "see my sister". I noticed the letter seeping through.

Her thin fingers gently trace the letter as if it stroked the toddler's cheek.

I have a good idea what the ink is seeping in.

Maybe this is "tears".

"Your father and stepmother...... I love you so much about Sister Margaret, but I'm not interested in anything other than being the successor to the Count family when it comes to Cedric. Until now, the frustration of your stepmother, father and sister has been directed at me, but isn't it directed at young Cedric... that's all I'm worried about"

Before I lost my memory, I wasn't interested in Liliana or anything. If I added that up, I wouldn't have even put it on my teeth about Liliana's brother. It was easy to imagine that she didn't know that she was showing her brother away or anything, because she didn't interact with Liliana in the first place, and she didn't go to her parents' house or invite her brother as a guest, and there was no way Liliana could tell.

With what thoughts has she received a letter from her tear-seeping brother this past year, and with what thoughts has she written back?

But apart from that again I learn to hook up and hesitate to throw the question.

"... was directed at frustration, what... has that got to do with your mess"

The thin back leaning against me shook terribly. Realizing that the hand holding the letter was trembling, I panicked and wrapped my hands around it knowing only that I had made a mistake.

"I'm sorry, that was rude. Forget, fuck, fuck... Liliana?

My hand along her hand was held back by weak force.

I notice Liliana putting the letter on her lap and gently holding my hand.

"Oh, that was about once a month"

A trembling voice spins out the words, and I shut my open mouth trying to call her name.

"My stepmother calls me to the living room where I spend my family time. I have mostly only my stepmother and sister in that room. Your father was almost away, and Cedric told me to tell him to nauseate when he saw my face in front of his family, so Cedric kept my word and walked out of the room when I entered. Your father, stepmother and sister weren't interested in Cedric, so we never stopped calling."

Hold the thin hips that remained with your hands earlier.

"When I enter the room...... I am told to sit on the floor with no carpet laid. When you sit there, the soup is placed on the floor and they give you a teaspoon." Tonight is the night you eat well, right? If I zero a drop of soup, I will whip it and skip the meal for the time being '... My stepmother says the same word every time by delightfully arguing with lips with red lipstick. That was very difficult. You must not have a plate, and you must not give in to your body. The teaspoon is very small... and most importantly, my hands tremble with fear, and every time, I really drip and drip a drop of soup. They were waiting for me to drip the soup and they were laughing and tickling as they said it was shitty or dirty "

I breathed out slowly as Liliana withstood something, with force in her thin hand holding my hand.

"Liliana, you don't have to force me to talk to you"

Liliana shook her neck beside her stubbornly. I held my thin hand back hard, taking care not to hurt.

"And when that time comes, your stepmother takes out the whip and hits me in the hand, shoulder, and back as I first promised. It was my sister's turn to whip me when my stepmother was ready. When the two of you are ready, you are allowed to go back to your room, and I say," Thank you for your guidance, "and return to your room. And they skipped meals for at least, three days...... other than that, from time to time, they came to my room like they came up with and whipped me. But I don't mind if that frustration doesn't target Cedric."

Powerfully said, I didn't say a word.

It was impossible to use the whip as part of the whip against my daughter. And Liliana pointed it at me. I don't care what you think. Words are bad, but it's clear.

Remembering how she begged her father for forgiveness in my arms, I accidentally hugged Liliana to envelop her from behind. Liliana's hand is attached to my arm. How much pity, fear and pain has Liliana endured with this thinner and more luxurious body that seems to break the harder she hugs? But still, she thinks of her brother. What a strong, sweet woman.

"Cedric was always pushing his voice to death and crying on my pillow, where he was whipped to sleep. He is a kind brother who thinks of me unable to move due to pain and cries by holding my hand hard......"

A voice wet in tears falls into a quiet room.

Liliana wrapped her left hand around her lips with her right hand. It was as if I were looking for a young brother plush there.

"Sir, isn't Cedric crying in that house where I'm gone? Haven't you been whipped in my place? The letter doesn't say that. I don't have a servant who can write to me even if I want to know what's going on over there. The intermediary horse apprentice boy can't even ask in a letter because unfortunately he can't read the letters... even though he's my only family..."

I am not a family member, as I was told, but I have no right to correct the words or protest. I have never made a single effort to become a family before.

Are you crying, peeking into the face of and breathing?

Liliana was enduring tears by biting her lips off. It was painful to desperately contain it, which seemed to be zero, and I held her tight.

"... you can cry"

"... my husband said he doesn't like crying women... I can't make you feel any more unpleasant... eh"

I hated myself terribly when I said that before, even though I only looked at each other three times.

Arthur said the only decent exchange of words between me and Liliana was the first night I left her. I guess I threw that word at her the first night the couple would be together.

Liliana turns around trying to get out of my arms. But I couldn't let that happen. Then I reorient her body and push that face against my chest.

"This way I don't see your crying face, so I'm fine. You may not believe it... but I swear I won't hate you."

Bury your nose tip in soft pale gold hair.

Liliana's body was so tense that I couldn't let her go. Wrap one hand around Liliana's little cheek with her face raised.

"Cry for me, Liliana.

Peeping into the beautiful star-colored eyes, I took her hand and pressed my lips against its palms. I stared at her to plead, and called her by that name with as much thought as Liliana, and now I can put in.

"I was an dishonest, terrible husband. So I know this is a very selfish and selfish wish. A husband who lost his memory and couldn't even recognize you as his wife. Still... I want to be a real couple with you"

Liliana is staring at me.

Release the hand you were holding and envelop her cheek.

"But... if my husband regains his memory, I'm sure he'll forget about me again, etc... right?

Liliana smiled in my hand.

At that moment, my chest was so sore and uncut that it dominated me.

The smug smile, which gives up everything you expect and hope for, was so beautiful, so - pathetic.

"Remember how you hated me, and I'm sure you hate me again"

"That's not true"

Liliana didn't believe me when I immediately denied it. With a sad smile on his face, he gently pressed my chest and let go of his body, smiling lightly again.

"... I was full, happy"

"Then laugh happier, Liliana."

I held her tight to squeeze the blank between the two she tried to make.

"Before you break, please... cry. You are my dear wife. I swear I'll never forget you again, please... trust me, Liliana"

I whispered in my ear as if I could snort.

"... really, isn't it hard...?

When my weak voice inquired as if to entrust me even with a glimmer of hope, I nodded without one or two and put my strength into my arms holding Liliana tight.

"It won't. Never will be, I swear to God, sword and you, Liliana."

"Even if I know my secret...?

I could see in my arms that Liliana held down her pigeon tail again.

I don't care what secrets you have.

"Really?

"Really."

Liliana pushed her silence and I now realize that my heart is hitting the early bell. I guess my heart is afraid she'll reject me.

But breathe in realizing Liliana's hand grabbed the chest of my shirt with hesitation. Liliana shoved her face against my chest, shaking her thin shoulders.

"Phew... ugh..."

What I heard was a piece of whimpering that was pushed to death.

I guess you don't know the voice raised. Liliana pushed her voice to death and cried with my chest. A thin hand I don't even know how to squeeze is just holding my shirt tight.

In the end, Liliana never raised her voice and cried, but she wet my chest with tears until she was tired of crying and fell asleep.

I lay down holding her tight like that, and I made a certain determination.

I wanted Liliana to have a heartfelt smile, and I was determined to do anything for it.