"... No, I will be spending the rest of it in my room already. Thank you.
Patan, and. After checking the closed doors, I stand on the spot.
I finished delivering a message to Captain Arthur, and even after returning to my room, my thoughts continued to circle. Blurred, I recall the words that a hundred have already repeated on my head.
'... knowing, I think... … at least, seven years… for a long time'
Seven years.
Not to say ten years, but from years too far away.
I thought you might have predicted it more recently after all. That was right before that dance party. But suppose it started seven years ago.
How permanently desperate was she?
"Then why didn't you... ask anyone to save you?"
Palms on the table, staring.
If you've known for seven years, why didn't you move to avoid it? With all those years, it would have been easy, for example, to save herself if she had existed as much. Why didn't it come true after seven years when she saved our country in just eleven days? Why didn't you hit anything? If Radiya was involved, I would have been able to hit him if I had let him know. Or does she say she only knew the end and never knew how it would happen? Or that I had already accepted the end of the period, but that I could not keep myself, and... I knew that one day I would follow a path of collapse even as a person, and I gave up.
'It's not your fault.... even if you weren't here, I must have popped up.'
".................. Pride.... Is that why?
No place to go, just inquire into the void.
If you hold your fists with both hands on the table, you will tremble with a clatter on each arm. I lean between my eyebrows and drown in the sensation of a quiet, slow flow of blood all over my body.
I've always wondered. How could she have gotten there then? Why did you not look so far about yourself? Why she was loved, admired, sought after by so many and recognized for its value by everyone.
Sometimes, you jump out for strange soldiers, you don't even care about your wounded feet, you forgive me for being disrespectful.
"And I will line up next to it, and we will be broiled together."
He drowned himself like fishing bait and aroused the people.
Suppose she knew the end of her heart and her falling self.
What if she said... herself? Suppose you had a factor in knowing what the future looked like and making yourself look crude.
"So... you always... could imitate something like that..."
If you moan like you sue, your whole body will finally tremble out of your arms. Something clogged out of my throat and I couldn't breathe it out with my breath sucked up to pull.
Loved by so many! Love many! She saved me. She saved me.
Are you saying that you couldn't love only yourself, who is nothing else?
"Huh...!... no... no, no... no way... that's why..."
The question I kept even thinking about in the carriage is just over my head again and I shake it off desperately.
My gaze wanders even as I blink repeatedly. He shook his head as hard as he could, leaned down, and scratched up his dripping hair.
No, no way. That must be the work of the Radian Empire, it's up to them to be involved, the people who targeted the invasion of our country, the kingdom of Friesia for their rebellion, for their pride.
─ Suppose it was a limited time when there was really nothing I could do.
"Eh..."
Bite your lips until you bleed and can't breathe.
No, there's no way, there's no way your pride won't come back. Even though I tell myself so, I remember when Regent Vest used to tell me and my brothers. I have to decide if my pride has changed or not.
But either way, there must be an anthropogenic factor, I kept thinking that Radiya would have done something. Because the root scraping and absorption of medical and pharmaceutical knowledge did not prove anything. Then there's Radiya.
- Really, really?
I'm pretty sure Radiya made a disturbing move.
There is also a great chance that he did something to Pride. But what? What does a guy who's not sick or medicated or a people of the kingdom of Friesia...... No, what I should have had previous confirmation collapses and I can't believe it myself. I don't even know which is right or wrong or true or false.
'... knowing, I think... … at least, seven years… for a long time'
"Shut up... give me that... why...!
Captain Arthur's words come back clear again.
No way, does Pride think this was fate? Indeed, it seemed unexpected that the Radiyan Empire would also wake up in pride. Then Radiya targeted me for my life and I got my whole life into nine deaths, and... everything that would change was destined to be followed? Even though it wasn't anyone's plan, it was the end point where everything was decided to flow.
"Why did you take it... by yourself?"
For your sake, many would have dedicated themselves together to .
For your sake, many would have done their part to change fate.
To the death of your heart,... we could have wept together.
Why did you accept your destiny without doing anything?
Incredible, when she had known her destiny for seven years... even equal to God, she still only succumbed without strength, etc. You sure you didn't do anything? Why did she accept it so easily? Such a world with no salvation or anything.
Without you, there would have been no more salvation in this world.
If she hadn't been here for... ten years, I would still be able to mourn.
In my current pride, you never reached out to me. Instead, she would undoubtedly have fallen for the foolishness of me then, too, for trying to fall for me as a killer in this way.
Seeking reinforcements, he was betrayed the other way around and ruled by the Kingdom of Friesia… or he could have been sold to Radiya with a dime. No edges, no itching, just foolish princes hanging bait in the name of crisis, etc. now I think it's food for outfits. Besides, I have committed enough disrespect to make Pride declare a front to our country.
... if pride is not pride.
Ever since I was saved, 10,000 is what I've thought over and over again. If it weren't for her, I would have driven the country further into distress by now, either in prison or with my own stupidity. My brother did not wake up, the kingdom of Sursis did not even come true, he remained cut off from my brother... I would have cursed myself of helplessness and still be struck down by one. I may have killed myself because of my foolishness.
Because Pride was there for me, my brother, my brother, and the people of the country were saved. He saved me, he reached out, he saved my brother from the abyss of disease, he connected with my brother, he connected my country, he protected me, he set me free, he saved my country.
Having become absolute to me, she is now... detained in a tower away.
Why should she be dropped to this point when she was such a noble, gentle and beautiful vessel of a queen?
Why should she scratch herself at will when everyone loves and tries to protect herself?
If she continues to be supposedly ill like this, she will be swayed to her right to inherit the throne. Even if you have the ability to predict, which is a testament to your succession to the throne, it is not the kind of duty that your mind holds even in such a state.
She, who was like God, is about to be dropped on the earth now.
"………… again……………………………………………………………………"
As soon as his jaw trembled eating and tying him, Shizuku dripped from his eyes staring at the table.
I feel sorry for myself that I can only mourn again at the large grain as if it were starting to rain, and fall on my face at the table. Lie on your knees on the carpet and sink your forehead with your fists tapped against the table without force. No matter how many nails you hold your fists enough to devour or hit the table with anger,...... nothing will change.
I desperately indulge my voice, indulge, continue to indulge, and still groan with remorse and powerlessness, "Gu... ahhh..."
... I wanted to help, Pride's.
I wanted to give something back to her for saving us.
It's not enough to just contribute, I wanted to help save her from me.
I wanted to regain the pride we loved with the strength I gained in the time she moved me into. It's not love, it's not friendship, it's not aspiration. I wanted to show an emotion equal to this worship, which was not even fulfilled in my vows.
You can do it, there's a killer, there's a way, it's not yet decided, you can get it back, now it's time for me to save her, help her, give her back a little. I desperately told myself,..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
'... knowing, I think... … at least, seven years… for a long time'
... It was decided. Seven years, for a long time.
It's not just a few days and months ago, seven years.
If she knew that she could keep her mind around seven short years, … she had cut it off as good in her life to that point.
It really means that our beloved girlfriend is dead.
Pride forsakes a future that can't be helped...... because even now it means that he has dedicated everything to the decade in which he lives.
... Also, I couldn't do anything after all.
I stood up to what I could do for her and I was going to do something for her. But in the end, pride was only given protection until the end.
Future International Postal Organisation, Postal Control. Even if I meant to be able to contribute a little to her, I was still just given the role and the worth of my life.... yet, before I can return anything.
"... pride.... How can I give it back to you...?
Even now.
Strengthen your arms and look out the window with seeping vision. Only now did I really want to pray to the sunshine that I could still see.
Strike your forehead all the way to the table so as to deviate, and eat and tie your teeth to the impulse. All I can do is absorb knowledge and provide it. Other than that, it may be just fine.... that's the only way.
- What was your last wish?
In fading consciousness and self, what did you wish for when you passed away?
Country, people, family, friends, lovers? Please tell me. I have, ever since I found out you saved me,...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
I wanted to make it happen.
"... uh... it didn't come true..."
On the side of fulfillment, I wanted to be.
You made everything about me come true, like you did then.