Chapter 327: Grateful [1]
Meanwhile, Zayne caught up with Iris, who had given up on running. She lay stretched out on the soft grass, staring up at the sky.
"Too drunk to run any further?" Zayne questioned, stooping down beside her.
"No. It’s harder to run properly in this dress, and I didn’t want to ruin it since it was a gift from Eloise. I can’t even begin to imagine what it must have cost her," Iris said.
"So instead you chose to lie in the grass and dirty it there. Fortunately, a good wash should have it looking new again. I’ll admit, I’m a little disappointed you kept this carefree side of yourself so well hidden while you worked for me," said Zayne.
Iris turned her head to look at him. "Why would anyone act so carefree in front of their employer? Besides, I never once had so much as a sip of wine in your home. The maids didn’t have that luxury."
"I was hoping you would notice all those times I left my food untouched as I wanted you to have it. There was always wine within reach, though I suppose it wouldn’t have done you much good with drinking and then returning to your quarters afterwards," Zayne realised.
"It wouldn’t have been wise for me either way. Lie with me, or is the grass beneath you now?" Iris asked, patting the space beside her.
Zayne chuckled and lowered himself down beside her. "I must remain a gentleman and keep some proper space between us. Your brother may be slumped over drunk at the table, but I’d still like to respect his wishes."
"Did he warn you not to be alone with me?"
"He did, and I should have taken note of that from the very start. You deserve to be treated with the same respect as every other lady in town. I won’t make mistakes where you’re concerned, Iris," Zayne promised.
"And yet here you are, lying right beside me," Iris pointed out.
"I consider this more a duty of watching over a drunk woman. I can’t let you wander off while your brother’s in no state to keep an eye on you. You can be honest with me, Iris. Are you truly all right?" Zayne asked, afraid she’d been quietly bottling everything.
"I am-"
"Don’t lie to me," Zayne cut in. "You may lie to your brother and to Eloise, to spare their feelings if you must, but not to me. You can tell me the truth, and I promise it won’t leave this garden."
"I truly am fine. All those days I spent working for you gave me time to sit with this. I didn’t have my mother constantly in my ear, insisting everyone else was wrong while my father was right. The news came too suddenly. That’s all," said Iris, though her voice wasn’t convincing on the last words.
"Truly? Is that honestly how you feel right now?" Zayne asked, unconvinced. "No one would think less of you for being frightened of losing him, or for wanting him to recover. You don’t need to force yourself to think of only Eloise’s feelings in all this."
Iris sat up, irritated by Zayne’s pushing. "I am so tired of everyone asking how I feel, only to ignore whatever answer I give them. I cried, Zayne. I understand he may never come home to us. I am dealing with it in my own way. Will these questions only stop once I’ve cried on your shoulder?"
"No. They’ll stop the moment you’re honest with yourself. I can see that you’re holding back, and if I can see it, then the people who’ve known you far longer than I have can see it too. Everyone’s only trying to be present for you," said Zayne.
Iris looked away from him. "My father was wrong. I see him differently now because of what he’s done and because he’s never once apologised for any of it. I still love him," she confessed quietly. "But I can love him and still know that he was wrong."
She continued, "Tomorrow is going to be a sad day, so today, I only want to have a little fun. I’m not pretending my father won’t die, or acting as though none of it matters. Why is it so wrong to want a little joy when life insists on being this depressing?"
"It isn’t wrong at all," Zayne replied. "I won’t question your feelings any further today. Though I would ask that you not turn to drinking to distract yourself from it. Especially when you’re alone. You could hurt yourself."
"I don’t drink often, truly. It’s a rare thing for me since my family always hoarded whatever good bottle came into the house. My mother would lose her mind if she knew I was drinking now," Iris said, laughing at the face her mother would make.
"Reece told me he spoke with my mother. I know she only reached out because she couldn’t find me, but I do wonder if she knew all along, if she would have written to me even once," Iris admitted.
"Perhaps. Do you want to speak with her yourself?"
"No," Iris shook her head. "I only wanted to know whether she cared at all."
"You know, given everything I’ve heard about your family, I’m rather surprised you turned out this normal," Zayne said, a fond smile tugging at his mouth as Iris turned to him.
"Normal?" Iris laughed. "Says the man who lives in darkness. You really must prefer the light more often since you look exceptionally handsome under it, you know."
The thought struck her suddenly to kiss him, so she leaned forward to do just that, only for him to lean back out of reach.
"Nice try, but I won’t kiss you while you’re drunk. Why don’t you let me put a ring on that pretty finger of yours before the season ends, and then we can kiss all we like," Zayne said, watching as Iris fell back into the grass with a huff.
"That was your loss since I’m not drunk. Eloise and I only thought it would be amusing to make you panic. My brother wasn’t wrong that I like adventures when I drink, but you wouldn’t be lying beside me right now if I truly were," said Iris.
"Shall I show you just how fast I can run?" Iris asked, already pushing herself upright again.
"No. That would require you actually being drunk. Damien’s gone off to find Eloise, and knowing him, you don’t want to stumble upon whatever they’re getting up to," Zayne said, motioning for her to settle back down.
"I don’t blame them one bit since they’re happily married. I envy them a little," Iris confessed.
"Why? I could give you the same without the pressure of being some lord’s wife weighing on you. I would give you a better life," Zayne said, quite proud of himself.
"If you insist."