Today, I headed out to the grocery store where he works to talk to Nate.
When Nate visited the store in anticipation of the time he was about to finish his job, he greeted me with an uncontrolled smile.
Not many guests will come at this hour, and we'll be able to talk slowly. That's what I thought. I pretended to pick a product in the store and glanced at Nate's face.
─ ─ Long time no see.
I shrugged so in my heart as I looked sideways at his face, which was once my best friend and also my lover. If I could, I didn't want to see you again in this way.
If he hadn't been reincarnated into the same world... if he hadn't at least toured with Ceres, I might not have been like this by now.
However, at the same time that I find it hateful, the emotion of 'nostalgia' turns my head.
Is that because I still feel like I think of him as a friend in a corner of my mind?
... No, I guess I'm just so illusioned because I haven't seen him in a long time. All I have against him right now is hatred.
The last time I saw him in my previous life was the day before our sister and brother were in an accident. Would it be the first time in 16 years to face each other like this? We probably wouldn't have noticed if we were wrong in the city by the time we didn't know anything, because our names and appearances had changed with each other.
Nate smiled and received it as he picked out the right product and took it to the register counter so it didn't seem unnatural.
I did the accounting and whilst Nate was packing the goods in the bag I casually spoke to him.
"It's hard to be so late at night. Good luck."
I shook the subject with a smile as I suppressed the hatred that arose.
"Thank you. But it's work. Besides, I'm taking care of my current master..."
Nate reluctantly said that and smiled back without realizing who I was.
As always, it is well received and creates an atmosphere that seems gentle. At this rate, I guess I've smiled at the people around me and worlded it well.
In that respect, it's similar to myself, who has been acting as an honorary student since my previous life, but there was a decidedly different part between me and him.
That means I'm ready to take the honor student mask off whenever I'm for someone I love.
In fact, even when I found out that Chizuru was being bullied in my last life, I imposed sanctions on the woman who was the main culprit.
The point is, he ran into the scene of the bullying and knew the fact, but it only sounded like an excuse to me when he said, "I was going to tell my teacher and my hopes later".
I noticed something was wrong with Chizuru, and when I asked a student in the same class as her, it turned out to be the cause lightly. If I hadn't taken action then, bullying her might have continued ever since.
I guess he was winning the feeling of "not wanting to cause trouble" rather than stopping bullying. That's why I could only help that halfway.
If I had been on the scene, I think I would have hit the girls on the spot and rendered the girls irreversible so they wouldn't feel like bullying me again. It doesn't matter if the other person is a woman. Every human who tries to do harm to a thousand cranes is an enemy, so we must eliminate them. If you like Chizuru, you should be able to do that.
The point is, "you should solve it under the water without making a bad noise".
Though sensible at first glance, I have not been able to agree with the idea since then. Because if we don't crush them soon, they must try to do harm to Chizuru again.
Not only then, but the point is it always was. I always looked good around me and tried to solve the problem so that the evil didn't stand out. I've always hated that sort of thing I needed.
Yet... Chizuru said he was attracted to that part of him. He said he likes the calm and gentle part.
The moment I heard the words, I felt as though I was being denied. "I wonder what the hell will happen to my position that I've done everything I can to protect her," he said. I still remember feeling so strong.
"Really?... by the way. Looks like our servant took care of you for a long time. In the meantime, I heard you were visiting the mansion, so I asked you to thank me today."
"Yes......?
"It's our servant Rosetta. I heard you and I were close."
"Oh! That means... you were the master of that mansion!
"Yeah, that's right. So, here's the point...... unfortunately, she can no longer go out for the time being. So I thought I'd pass it on instead."
When I said that, Nate lowered her brow butt and gave her a worrying look.
"She said she can't go out... is she sick somewhere?
"Yeah. Actually, Rosetta originally had a disease. But that suddenly got worse about a month ago... and now I'm lying on the hospital bed."
"Were you... I didn't know you had such a disease."
"I'm sure you didn't want to worry. I guess it would be better for Lian, who got sick, to go to quarantine for adequate treatment...... Rosetta has worked and worked so hard so far, and because she didn't like going to the facility, she decided to take care of us. So I'm not in a very good condition to meet people..."
"... ok. Thank you for taking the time to tell me. I've been worried because I haven't been to the store for a long time. I hope Rosetta feels better, too."
"Yes, I'll tell Rosetta."
I pretended to care about Nate and said, "I'm sure it'll get better soon. Cheer up," he added. Nate is dropping her shoulders in a terribly discouraged manner.
Now I could gradually keep him away from Ceres. If you find out they're sick, you won't be willing to go see them that way.
But I haven't finished my errands yet. He has other things to ask.
"With that being said, Rosetta always seemed to take care of her white flower hair decorations. Could that hair decoration be by Nate...?
"If it's a hair accessory, it's something I gave Rosetta before.... you take care of me so much"
"Oh, did I still?... Yes, I already take care of that. Because I hid a gift from you, and I was like,"
"Really?
"Yeah. So it's late to thank you. Thank you so much for everything."
"No, I didn't do enough to thank you! It's always a thank you for coming to the store, and it's enough that you take care of it!
Nate shook her neck sideways and gave it back like that in a hurry. It seemed humble at first sight, but the joy that could not be hidden from its expression seeped out.
Seeing it, I grip my jealous, trembling fist hard.
"But I'm really glad Rosetta's master is kind"
"I can't believe you're sweet. I'm just doing what's natural. ─ Oh, this is already the time. Then I'll be free around here. [M] Sorry to interrupt your work."
"No. Welcome, thank you."
When I had a light meeting, I turned my back on Nate and tried to leave the store. But in the meantime, he stopped me by saying, "Um..."
"What is it?
"Oh, no. Well... I feel like I've seen you somewhere before..."
Nate looked at me with a bewildered look.
"I think it's the first time we've met, right?
"Oh, right...... I heard something weird, and I'm sorry. I felt like an old friend, and..."
Denying it, Nate said, "Please come back when you get the chance," even though she wasn't convinced, and sent me out of the store.
You're sharp even though we just talked a little bit. Would you say that in this short time, you felt the shadow of me in my previous life?
In the meantime, now we have all the evidence. All we have to do is question Ceres.
◆
The day after that.
When I visited Celeste's room, I decided to ask her about the hair decoration.
"Ceres. I need to ask you something."
"Huh...?
"What is this?
……!?
Ceres was freezing her face off when she saw the hair ornament I had in my hand.
I'm sure she meant to hide it well. But... I saw it that day. Where Ceres, with her eyes swollen bright red, is rushing to turn something into a mirror table drawer. So when I checked later, I found an unrecognizable hair decoration.
For the most part, I was crying because I wanted to see Nate.
"How could you..."
"I just took it out of the drawer while you were looking around.... I want to see your amazing face."
……
"This isn't what I bought you, is it?
"Um, that's... yourself..."
"If you really bought it yourself, you don't have to hide it. The other day, when I walked into the room, you were in a hurry to pull this out. You hid it because you don't want me to see it... no?
……
Stuffed to Ceres, she closed her eyelids as she had noticed.
"Is that what Nate gave you?
"... that's right. But please. Don't just take that away. I'm not seeing you anymore, and I'm good enough to keep it as a memory, right?
Ceres stuck to my arm and begged with a voice that seemed to disappear.
"No."
"... eh"
Immediately upon reflection, Ceres distorted its adorable beauty in a desperate manner.
"Well... with all this stuff, you can't forget about him"
When I shrugged, I thought my grandfather loved it in this room, so I took the ashtray and put it on the mirror table. And when I put my hair ornament on the ashtray, I set my aim on it and unleashed the fire attribute magic [flagrad]. A small red flame is swinging loosely over the ashtray because of minimal power.
"What are you doing!?"
Ceres tried to get close to the burning ashtray when she yelled so pale. When I grabbed Celeste's arm and sealed the motion, I looked into her eyes to stare.
"Oh, it's burning... because I got it from him... I've always cherished it... it was my heart's support..."
Ceres broke her knee like despair and collapsed to the floor.
Though it suppressed its power, its firepower was sufficient. Hair decorations embellished with pure white flowers burned vigorously and became ashes as I saw them.
"It's terrible! How can you do such a cruel trick!?"
"Which one is terrible? I can't believe you broke your promise to me and met Nate, even hiding memorabilia from him. How much do you care if you betray me?
Asked so, Ceres looked at me with a resentful look for a moment, but turned away immediately.
When I laid one knee on the spot and aligned myself with Celeste's gaze, I held her jaw with my hand and turned it forcefully towards me.
"Do you hate me that much?
……
When asked again, Ceres glanced at me with a hateful eye, not saying it was at least a disobedience.
"I hate you too. You don't accept my thoughts. I can't wait to hate you.... but I love you more than that. No matter how much you hate me, no matter how much you resent me, this feeling will never change. And I will never give up on you."
When I whispered so in Ceres's ear, I held her to my own chest as she continued to observe silence.
That day, the fire of qi (Rinki) burned down the last connection between Ceres and Nate.
Seeing the remaining ashes, Ceres was crying down. Seeing her like that immersed me in an unspeakable sense of accomplishment.
That's right, that's fine. More grief, more scratch, more endurance, the same pain as mine.
And at the end of the day, you can break it.
─ That way, you'll be mine alone.