In the past life, when we twins were about five years old - was that definitely when we just went up to kindergarten?
Until then, the hope of calling me "Chanting" began to call me "Chizuru" one day in Sakai.
I'm already in elementary school next year, so I may have started to feel ashamed to be calling you proper about me forever.
And just from that time on, he became unusually overprotective about me.
At the time, he was, for example, rushing over as soon as I tried to take a book that was high and saying, "I'll take it because it's dangerous," and instead getting on the stepping stone and taking the book, or when he fell and got hurt, he changed his blood phase and flew in.
Anyway, hopes began to burn my care like people had changed before.
One day that happened.
When I left the classroom as usual at the end of my return journey, there was some look in the hallway and a teacher in charge of his class. I wondered what the hell was going on, and I rush over to the two of them.
"Okay? Hope. Chizuru is Wan-kun's sister, so call her 'sister' properly? Why don't you just call it off?
"I don't like it! I would never call you 'sister'!
With his index finger up, his hopes said so in a defiant manner towards the teacher, who took care to teach him.
Me and my hopes are twins, and they're the same age, so I'm not particularly uncomfortable if I call them off. Though, the teacher didn't think well that his hopes were calling out about his sister, and he was scolding him with a harsh look.
As a teacher, I must have scolded my hopes with the thought of "because if I had a habit of abandoning older people from a young age, I would struggle later".
Now that I think about it, I can understand what the teacher is saying... but I was just a kid at the time, so I was watching over my hopes of being scolded so badly.
"You know, hopefully... it's not a good idea to call an older person out. Wan-kun and Chizuru are twins, so it may not really matter which one is up there or anything...... next year, you must be in elementary school already, right? When you're in elementary school, you can't abandon your classmates."
"I know exactly that..."
"Then why don't you like to call me 'sister' about Chizuru?
"... eh"
As the teacher looked surprised and peered into his gaze, he looked down sadly and became silent.
After a brief silence, the hope tied his lips together with a remorseful look and ran away from the spot. The left me and my teacher were confused not knowing what to do and looked at each other unexpectedly.
In the meantime, you can't just leave your hopes open like this. Having decided so in an instant, though young, I immediately decided to follow him.
As he chased his hopes out of the garden at full speed and searched the garden, he saw the child's rear as he sat down with his knees under a cherry tree by the main gate.
The child, who was Japanese and had lightly pigmented chestnut hair, was shaking her luxurious shoulders into small pieces and crying as she pressed her voice to death.
That hindsight is definitely hope. So sure, I quietly walk up to him.
"Wang... I was here. Could it be that you're crying...?
"Chizuru...!? I'm not crying! I just got garbage in my eyes!
Hope came near. And he saw my face, and hastened to wipe his tears with the sleeves of his uniform, and let him try to strengthen. "I got garbage in my eyes" is a fairly plain lie, so even I could somehow guess that I didn't want to be seen crying.
So I decided not to touch that anymore and sit next to my eyes in silence.
"Hey, how did you defy the teacher earlier? Wow, I don't usually do that..."
It was purely questionable. My usual expectations were so resourceful that I didn't think of them as kindergartners, and they were well praised by the teachers. There must be some reason why he should take such a defiant attitude.
"... I didn't want to be born to Chizuru's brother."
Hope does not answer my question and says so in an unchallenged voice.
"Huh...?
"Because I was born to my brother, so was that promise..."
The hope of saying so as to whine slowly buried his face in his lap.
"Sorry... sorry..."
"Of, Wang...?
I'm not sure why, but Hope suddenly blamed himself and started apologizing.
While confused by the desire to keep apologizing, I managed to rub my back to comfort my brother.
I didn't know why he was crying at that time and why he was apologizing, but now that I think about it, I'm sure someone told me something.
Because the hope said 'that promise', it probably refers to the promise that I and the hope made to each other vowing 'when we grow up, we'll definitely get married'.
My kindergarten teacher and friends said, "My sister and brother can't get married," and once we were stuck with reality... but still, we were willing to get married in the future without giving up.
My hopes were also at that time, "It's okay. I will definitely make Chizuru my wife" but I meant to... usually my patient hopes are enough to cry, so I guess they said something about it that's not so bad.
I don't really remember what happened after that. I can't remember exactly what they said when I got back to my teacher or what conversation I had and went home around it, but... anyway, the sinking look of hope at that time is still strongly impressive.
◆
If I had stuck to my pillow and kept crying all night, it would have been morning sometime.
It's the fifth day since Richt stayed at the magic lab at work. I was made to recognise his and my subordinate relationship differently yesterday because of that.
I've never been forced to act like that, and because I felt extra humiliated than raped, in the end I couldn't sleep at night.
I know very well that we cannot return to our normal sisters and brothers. Is that why I remember so much about my previous life?
If I had been aware of the darkness in my brother's heart long ago, I would have predicted this would happen sooner or later.
Now I can only regret my indifference for not realizing it. Even if the future could not be changed, we should have been able to lean on him......
Tomorrow night, as usual, Richt returns to the mansion.
How long the hell can I stay sane...? Blurry and thinking of that, I leaned on my back on the bed and looked up at the beautiful ceiling.