00. A 17-year-old Girl
The beginning is always the same.
Gray skies, dashing drizzle, mud gardens with nothing yet. chilling air and dirty pajamas I have a sore throat. If you don't go back to the mansion soon, the gardener will find you. Near the feet, Tsai roughly pushes the rope and heads for the maids' passage. I failed again this time again. It's cold again. My teeth are chipped. What went wrong this time?
Unlike the damp hallway, the fire in the fireplace burns in the room and thick fur blocks the cold air, making the air warm. When you take off your dirty clothes and throw them into the fireplace, the damp clothes will cool down.
He opens the lampstand at the foot of the bed with abusive language. As the oil in it is poured into the fireplace, the flames rekindle. He glares at the woman in the mirror. It failed again this time.
sit on a wooden chair There is paper and ink on the table. He glares for a long time and grabs a pen. Put ink on the tip of the pen and write it down on the paper.
117. My name is....
The pen point loses its power and stops. What does this mean? Even a name is meaningless. I'm devastated. This time, this time! That's what I thought for 10 years. For the next 30 years, I tried to adapt. I thought about how I would die in the next 20 years. For five years, I stayed in bed doing nothing. And… and.
Karen Haier.
She fell into the book.
And I couldn't get out of it for 117 years.
***
The book was just a love story. Karen, the only daughter of So Young-ju, was scheduled to marry her relative Dulan Lloyd to maintain her estate. Karen, a girl who dreams of true love, broke her engagement, as any heroine does.
Because I couldn't love him who was smelly, skinny, and had mean eyes. Karen, whose family collapsed and worked as a daughter of a wealthy family, fell in love with her fiance, Raymond, and married after all kinds of hardships. It's a year-long story in the novel, and she followed the same pattern and married Raymond. Happy ending. Happy ending.
And after the last chapter of the book, she was killed on the next page. It was a solo. When I woke up in the burning pain of my throat, it was again the garden of dawn. Shivering with fear
Then Raymond fell in love with Raymond again, and Raymond hugged her and fell asleep. And when I opened my eyes, it was the same garden. Second, I didn't know why.
The third kept Raymond away. Raymond married another woman, and Karen applauded as a guest at the wedding. And he was trampled to death by a horse in the wedding parade. It was terrible. My whole body was crushed. The same thing happened again and again. The reason was different every time, but the end was always the same. It's his death.
Just in case, he continued his engagement a few years ago. The engagement with Dulan was unbroken and the wedding was held in a stable manner. And when I woke up, it was a garden again. I didn't even know if I had to die to go back or if I just went back after a year.
It was not until a considerable amount of time that some laws were known.
1. The period is one year. It always starts in a rainy garden.
After a year, Karen dies for whatever reason and goes back to the same time.
3. You can start with something you can hold in your hand when you die.
Thanks to the third law, she was able to have some faith that she wasn't dreaming. The number 116 was engraved on the flat gold coin. Change the end to 7 and look at the ceiling. I don't even remember her face anymore.
I have lived as Karen for over a hundred years. As the mind grew twice as older than the body, it gave up the expectation that it could go out of the book.
"I wish I were dead."
"I'm not saying that, miss. I don't want to imagine a world without you."
Nancy, the black-skinned maid, lightly grumbles and combs her hair. I remember the world where the world's most important wife had black skin. It's more than a hundred years ago. The vague memory was ridiculously vague to be called a memory.
When he saw this maid nearest him, Karen recognized that she was not from here. When I first saw her with her head down, I was so overwhelmed by her repulsion.
But now, when a maid goes out, she bows and walks backward, and if she does not, she is stunned and orders a beating. People with dark skin treat old people well. 117 was such a time. Time to change all one's values.
"Dulan, you don't like it that much?"
How could you like it? All of you are like ink on paper to me. It doesn't mean anything, it doesn't mean anything, it doesn't feel as harmless as ink. You'll die if you drink. It's like poison ink. What's left is just a little pleasure. Even if it's a short pleasure that's less than a page.
He giggled inwardly. Duran didn't like his bed as much as it did. The last time I slept with him was a few years ago. He was always a clumsy, ugly, young man without spirit.
"You don't look like you can.”
"…oh, my God."
"I'll think about it if I trade it for your girlfriend."
"…where did you learn to say that? Which maid are they?”
"Don't be so tight. It's a cheery joke from a 17-year-old girl who doesn't even know a man."
"What the hell are you talking about when you've frozen me since you've been breastfeeding her? I didn't raise him like this...After 10 years of marriage, there's nothing else to do.”
That's not true.
"Dulan's not gonna last 10 years?”
"A year from now? Then we'll have more time. Let's get up and tighten our backs. Maybe I'll have a chance to catch a better man than Dulan with a slim waist."
"…hahhhh!"
If it weren't for the damn corset, I could enjoy a little bit. The whale bone corset, which even tightens the curses, is likely to be swallowed by chewing on its thin waist. I'm suffocating. I hate this time.
"Nancy, I like a time when full-bodied women are popular."
"In those times, you're a world-class woman. You don't even have a mouth."
No, Nancy. Actually, I like eating.
Greasy meat, sweet snacks, all kinds of food that melts in your mouth, but all the foods in the world didn't suit your taste. There were too many stones on the bread and the meat was too fishy. Salt is so expensive that I can only eat salty food once a week before I marry Raymond.
That's the biggest reason I like Raymond. It makes me eat delicious food. He's a guy who knows that good food has something to do with good sex. Swallow unspeakable words.
"Are you not going to attend the service again today?"
"You'll hear prayer five times a day when you get married."
Duran is a new official and will receive Haier's estate along with the local diocese. When I thought of Duran, who had been reciting the name of God since the first day of his honeymoon, I felt like throwing up.
"That's cool. I've seen you since you were a kid, but you're a little different today. Before you get married, you're all right, but you'll be fine.
I'm not okay, Nancy.
It's never been okay in 117 years.
***
It's not a big deal for a 17-year-old girl far from the capital. That's all the more so if Karen is already half-confirmed. The land was also inconvenient for transportation, so one day had to go by the nearest lord's castle carriage. So the hall was quite quiet.
Business-related people loithed through the hall with their vague correspondence. And the underachieving musicians, who had been brought in under obligation, were playing offbeat songs with a look of 'I want to finish it quickly and get paid.'
Even in those places, Karen was shining around. It's not because she's the main character of the ball, but because of her beauty. Nancy's sharp-fingered red hair was naturally wavy. The tight corset emphasized a chest that contrasts with a slender waist. Even though he was 17 years old, he was filled with sexual attraction that made him breathtaking. Those who used to kill time with trivial conversations also became active and loud when Karen caught sight.
Karen knew everything without having to look at it one by one. I don't approach her openly because she's a tentative married woman, but most of them were excited when Karen cried, saying, "I don't want to get married like this." I spent about seven years hanging around with a man. I got tired faster than I thought. Most of them smelled bad and their fur was rough because they were not managed.
What are you doing this time? I'm lazy to marry Raymond, I'm lazy to spend time taking care of the people in the land, I've read almost all the books I can get, and the food isn't delicious.
"Kae, Karen Haier. Your husband... would you look like that if you were on your side?"
"Not yet.”
"…drug, soul."
"Not yet, anyway."
Duran, Karen's fiance.
It was bizarre to wear a black priest's uniform when it was my fiance's birthday party. Now familiar, Karen's forehead was frowned at the unpleasantness of her whispering about her dress and appearance. What Karen really doesn't like is her attitude of staring around her, not around her murmuring.
Shame. There was no suit for him who had just arrived, and his clothes did not fit in the place, and there was still mud-wiping water at the end of his pants. It smelled of disgusting medicine, wine, and fishy smell. Large eyes were lifeless and black shade fell under them, so children cried just by looking at them and maidens were sometimes surprised. And the eyes were back on Karen. Of course, Karen, who has been used to it for more than a hundred years, was not impressed.
"What are you... thinking?"
"You know what."
He's as tall as a distance, but he's skinny, doesn't have money, doesn't have sleep skills. A man who doesn't love Karen, but who is greedy, arrogant, and rude. Karen hated him. And I hated myself for feeling that hateful feeling. Because he became ridiculous to get angry with ink on paper at the very least.
If you were an attractive man, there wouldn't have been a conflict in the novel!
Even this idea is ridiculous. What the hell is this guy? I've just married this man, but it didn's no use. The anger reached its climax when I went back to the beginning after finishing my life with Dulan. Everything is meaningless. I sympathized with others and lived without anyone being close to me like a nun.
"There's no point in living."
"Gyeol… To be married."
"All women who are about to get married have similar worries and frustrations, but most of them disappear after marriage. Stop thinking that you are a princess in a fairy tale.You were going to say, right?
"…similar."
I'm just going to keep it's okay. He replied with a deep complaint. This was what you said to me while stuttering several times. You're going to marry me, so wake up.
"It's not like that."
I wish it were that much of a complaint.
I just want to get older. Or I just want to die. No... I just don't like it here. I'm sick and tired of it. Similar conversations, similar situations 100 times! Damn stuttering.
Swallowing the scream, Karen mimics a 17-year-old girl who is moderately pouting. The 25-year-old Duran stopped mocking with a slight admiration for her beauty. Duran thought Karen was an ironclad and she was right.
About 100 years ago. Maybe even now. 117 years old as the Karen people has 117 years old and she act like a realization that there was no.
Karen, beautiful girl, red hair, purple eyes, impressive eternal girl.
The dance song has begun.