Chapter 98: Two Good Friends and Something More?
Noah went straight to the point.
"I met you thinking you were a guy too."
"Yeah, I know..."
Noah waited, but Ren didn’t continue, so he took the initiative.
"Why did you never tell me?"
Ren clenched her hands.
"It’s complicated."
"This whole thing is complicated."
"Noah."
"I’ve known you since we were kids, right?"
Ren closed her eyes.
"Yes."
"How many years has it been since we met?"
"A lot."
"Then tell me why."
Ren took a moment to answer.
"Because at first I couldn’t."
"Because of your family?"
"Yes."
"And after that?"
Ren stayed silent while Noah watched her.
"After that you could."
"Yes."
"But you didn’t."
"No..."
Noah felt a discomfort he didn’t know how to express.
It wasn’t anger, and he wasn’t upset that Ren was a girl, since that didn’t change who she was to him, but the lie did matter.
"Didn’t you trust me?"
Ren lifted her head right away.
"I did trust you."
"Doesn’t seem like it."
"I trusted you more than almost anyone."
"Then I don’t get it."
Ren stood up.
"It wasn’t that easy."
"You just had to tell me."
"It seems easy now."
"Because you just did it."
"Because Aria forced me."
Noah went quiet, so Ren continued.
"When we were little, you didn’t know anything."
Ren let out a small laugh.
"We played, argued, did homework, and spent time together."
"Yeah."
"You didn’t treat me like the Aoyama heiress."
"Because I saw you as my friend."
"Exactly."
Ren looked at him.
"That’s what I liked."
Noah stayed silent.
"With everyone else there was a condition."
Ren continued.
"My family wanted me to act a certain way, while the Celestias saw me as part of the deal and other people approached me because of the last name."
Ren lowered her voice a little.
"But not with you."
Noah felt his discomfort ease a bit.
"So when we were old enough that I could tell you the truth, I got scared."
"Scared of what?"
"That you’d change how you acted once you knew the truth."
Noah furrowed his brow.
"Because you found out you were a girl?"
"Yes."
"I wouldn’t have changed."
"I couldn’t know that."
Ren moved a little closer to the table.
"Besides, in this world things between guys and girls aren’t simple."
Noah understood.
"You thought our friendship would change?"
"Yes."
"That I’d think you were interested in me?"
Ren tensed slightly.
"Among other things."
Noah noticed, but he didn’t press.
"And that’s why you kept lying to me?"
"At first."
Ren sighed.
"Then it got worse."
"Why?"
"Because every year that passed made it harder to say it."
Noah understood what she meant, while Ren continued.
"When we were twelve, I thought I could tell you the next year."
"You bought time."
"Yes."
Noah crossed his arms.
"And then more years went by."
"Yes."
"Until now."
Ren nodded.
Noah stayed quiet while Ren looked nervous, a lot more than during the fight with Aria.
"Say something."
Ren asked, and Noah looked at her.
"I don’t know what you want me to say."
"What you’re thinking."
"I’m not mad that you’re a girl."
Ren seemed to relax a little, but Noah continued.
"But I am mad."
The relaxation vanished.
"I know."
"You hid something huge from me."
"Yes."
"For years."
"Yes."
"And if Aria hadn’t said it, you probably still wouldn’t have told me today."
Ren didn’t answer and Noah looked away.
"That’s what bothers me."
Ren lowered her head.
"I’m sorry..."
Noah stayed silent.
"Really."
Ren continued.
"I didn’t want to make you feel like our friendship was fake."
"I don’t think it was fake."
Ren lifted her gaze.
"Our whole friendship is still real."
Ren seemed to hold her breath.
"But now I know there was a part of you that you never showed me."
Ren closed her eyes while Noah continued.
"I thought you told me the important things."
"I told you almost everything."
"Almost."
"Yes."
Noah rested his arms on the table.
"You know what’s the worst part?"
Ren shook her head.
"That now I’m starting to remember a lot of times when you acted weird."
Ren covered part of her face.
"No."
"The times you avoided the locker rooms."
Ren groaned quietly.
"Noah!"
"The field trips."
"S-Stop!"
"The swimming classes."
"Please."
Noah started remembering more.
"One time you said you had a water allergy."
Ren turned red.
"I was thirteen!"
"You said water could hurt you."
"I didn’t know what to make up."
Noah couldn’t hold back a small laugh, and Ren looked at him, and Noah realized it too.
The tension eased a little, so Ren dropped her arms.
"That day you almost found out."
"That’s why you ran off?"
"Yes."
"I thought you really had some rare disease."
"I know."
"I worried for weeks."
"I know that too."
Noah shook his head.
"Idiot."
Ren smiled a little.
"I’m sorry."
Silence returned, but this time it wasn’t as heavy.
Noah looked at Ren more carefully.
She was still the same person, his childhood friend, only now he had to mentally correct a huge number of things.
"I don’t know how long it’s going to take me to get used to it."
Ren nodded.
"That’s fine."
"I’ll probably say something wrong a bunch of times."
"Don’t worry about that."
"And I’m still mad."
"I get it."
Noah watched her.
"You’re not going to defend yourself?"
"I already did."
Ren sat down again.
"I don’t have a good excuse."
Noah raised his eyebrows.
"That’s surprisingly mature."
"Thanks."
"It wasn’t a compliment."
"I’ll take it anyway."
Noah almost smiled, and Ren lowered her gaze.
"I just want you to understand something."
"What?"
"You were the only normal part of my life."
Noah stayed silent and Ren spoke more calmly.
"When I was with you I didn’t have to think about the engagement."
"And you didn’t have to think about Aria?"
Ren made a small face.
"Especially Aria."
Noah remembered the argument with her.
"You seem pretty worried about what Aria does."
Ren tensed.
"We’re not talking about that."
"So you’re going to dodge the topic."
"Of course not."
Noah decided to leave it for now while Ren continued.
"I was scared that if I told you the truth, you’d stop treating me the same."
"And you decided to hide it."
"Yes."
"It was a bad decision."
"I know."
"A really bad decision."
"I already got it."
"Extremely bad."
Ren looked at him.
"Are you done?"
"No."
Ren sighed while Noah stayed quiet a few more seconds and then spoke.
"But I’m still your friend."
Ren lifted her head and Noah looked at her directly.
"I’m not going to stop talking to you because you’re a girl."
Ren’s eyes opened slightly.
"Really?"
"Of course."
"I thought that..."
"I already know what you thought."
Ren stayed silent and Noah continued.
"But that doesn’t mean everything’s fixed."
"I understand."
"I need time."
"That’s fine."
"And I want you to stop hiding things like this from me."
Ren nodded.
"I promise."
Noah raised an eyebrow.
"You sure?"
"Yes."
"So there’s no other secret engagement?"
"No."
"You’re not the heiress of another country?"
"No."
"You don’t have another identity?"
"No."
"You’re not a magical girl?"
Ren stayed silent while Noah looked at her and Ren raised her hands.
"No!"
Noah narrowed his eyes.
"You took a second."
"Because the question was ridiculous!"
"That’s what a magical girl undercover would say."
Ren brought a hand to her forehead and Noah finally smiled a little, and Ren saw it, making her expression relax.
But Noah still had too many questions, especially about why Ren’s jealousy had been so obvious during the argument.
However, those questions could wait.
For now, one single truth was already enough.
Ren Aoyama, the person Noah had considered his best friend since he arrived in that world, had never been a boy.
She had always been a girl and for years she had kept that secret because she was afraid of losing the only friendship where she could feel simply like Ren.