Chapter 11 I am here
Don't think you can guide the direction of love, because when you find you enough to qualify, you will guide you in your direction.
After all, it is young, my illness is coming soon, it is fast. Two days later, all the symptoms of discomfort disappeared, my body was completely rehabilled.
However, two days, I thought about it, there is still no way to answer Wu Ju Blue Question.
In the evening, I took a shower. I just blew the hair. I heard Wu Ju Blue called me: "Small snail, Jiang Yi Sheng is worth night from this evening, we went to the hospital to see him."
Go see Jiang Yusheng? Go to the hospital? I jumped in my heart, I thought about it, whispered: "Good! I will come down!"
I quickly took off the pajamas, put it out of the clothes, and tied the hair, I ran downstairs.
Go to the streets of Mazu Street, we played a taxi, after more than 20 minutes, I went to the hospital.
This is the first time I came to find him in Jiang Yi's night shift, asked several nurse, and found Jiang Yusheng outside the hospital's ward.
He asked in surprise: "How come you? Who is uncomfortable?"
I said: "The body is very healthy, just come to see you, chat with you."
Jiang Yizheng skin smiled and pulled his mouth. If I screamed me and Wu Zha, asked: "Do you have a cold?"
Jiang Yi said: "It's so fast! Let's go, go to my office for a while."
We walk along the long corridor, both sides are ward.
Because the time is early, the patient has not rest, and the door of most ward is big. When the line of sight is inadvertent, I can always see the shrinking red dust: my husband helps to swear in the bed, can't turn over, the wife flip the body; my wife takes out the pot under the bed, preparing to serve the husband and not walking; some patients are thin bones God is dead, alone is lying on the bed; some patients are entangled on the grouting, and the arms are inserted and the family is talking and laughing; some brothers and sisters are quarreling in order to make medicine; some couple are eating one Apple, affection ...
A little one and earth, but it has grown people's barters - life and death, complaints, love, seeking, seeking, five climbs, so that people who see are inexplicable. I consciously constrain my eyes, try only to stare at the front, don't see the ward.
I have been going to the corridor, I have no ward, I am relieved.
Jiang Yusheng said: "My office is upstairs, just two floors, let's walk, wait for the elevator slower."
I didn't have any objection to Wu Juan, followed by Jiang Yi, entered the stairwell.
When we came to half, he saw a man in a light gray shirt, black trousers standing at the corner of the stairs, with a forehead against the wall, silently crying.
It can be seen, he is trying to depress crying, the whole body is tight, and the drooping hands hold into a fist, it can be painful and desperate too powerful, let him leak a two-sounded chokes from time to time.
This is the hospital, and it is a huge ward area. You can imagine why, we try our best to put the steps, I hope to don't bother him in the past. But the stairs are so big, he obviously notice that someone came, immediately wipe it with tears.
When I wiped him, I can't help but read him carefully, and I found a known face. I stopped at once, and I called: "Lin Wei!"
He raised his head and saw me, squeezed a smile, "Shen Jun, hello!"
I faintly guess why he was crying here, and the mood was very heavy. I said to Jiang Yusheng and Wu Ju, "" You go up, I have a few words with friends. "
After Jiang Yusheng and Wuju Blue Departure, I tried to ask Lin Hao: "You have time, we are sitting here for a while?"
Lin Hao seems to have been exhausted, and it is still sitting down on the steps. I took him and sat next to him.
Lin Hao's thirty-year-old, working in the Tax Office, is said to be the youngest degree cadre, very young. I have known to him, because we have a common identity - the family of cancer patients. Just, I am Grandpa to get stomach cancer. He is a wife who has got stomach cancer.
His wife found more than my grandfather, it is young, less than 30 years old, and timely surgery, there is a big rehabilitation opportunity. When I met them, they were carrying out postoperative rehabilitation treatment, I have given him how to take care of and care about gastric cancer patients, he gave me a lot of help and encouragement, and the two quickly become familiar from strangeness.
I saw him last time, it was six months ago, it was also in the hospital. I helped my grandfather to take medicine and met him. He told me that after he was reviewed with his wife, it was confirmed that the surgery was successful and it should be fully rehabilitation.
Didn't think of it, just six months, he fell from hope to the abyss of despair.
I want to ask the specific situation, but I don't know how to open it.
Lin Wei took the initiative to ask: "How are you in the hospital?"
I said: "The doctor just was my friend, I came to see him."
Lin Hao said: "It's not going to see a doctor! I heard that your grandfather died, I was going to see you, but the little was discovered by cancer cells, I didn't time to contact you."
I saw that he did not avoid this topic, it should be too depressed, willing to talk to me with this similar experience. I asked: "How is Xiaoyu Sister?"
Lin Wei said with a hard saying: "The doctor said ... it is two or three days."
I responded to a moment, I understood what he meant, his wife will die in these two or three days! ?
I can't believe it, "How can I?"
Lin Yu lowned his head and said: "I have been thinking about how this will be. Doctor says letting family members are ready to prepare, I don't know how to tell her parents ... I don't know why, she Still so young ... Wedding, she said that the most eager happiness is to grow old with me, but also have to have two children, but she has never had birth ... "
I don't know how to comfort the forest, in front of death, all languages look pale, I can only stay with him silently.
Lin Yan is not a weak man, and even says that he is strong than the most men I know, otherwise it is impossible to accompany his wife and disease to fight for more than two years. But at this moment, all the strong is unfosit, and he is crying like a child.
I finished talking to Lin Hao. After you sent him, I didn't go to the building to find Jiang Yiheng and Wu Ju Blue, but along the stairs slowly walk down.
At this moment, I didn't have the courage to face Wu's blue, just think of a person for a while.
Tonight, from his moment, I will know that Wu Ju Blue is another purpose, it is not just to see Jiang Yi Sheng is so simple. Although I don't know what he wants to do, I have prepared for everything.
When I walked through the ward, I faintly understood the intention of Wu Ju Blue, but even Wu Zaju definitely did not think that his hospital is so good, I have encountered Lin Han.
Do you think that his choice is correct?
After the hospital, I didn't take the bus, along the sidewalk, and slowly walked.
Lin Hao is hiding in the stairwell, silently crying, has been in my mind.
From a point of view, I have a short period of decades, and is it like a patient who got a terminally ill? I am with him, isn't it like Lin Hao's wife and Lin Wei? After a short joy, it is trivial torture, long and leave.
For Lin Hao's wife, unfortunately happened, of course, I hope someone can accompany to take care of themselves, can I do it? If there is no start yesterday, is there no pain in today?
That night, I heard Wu Ju blue asked me "Your love is to know that the final result is pain, but also from privately"? " I just felt that I ignored the standing position to consider the problem.
Now, I really realize that this is not just a position, but in front of time, I am a patient who has a terminal illness.
I want him to love me, that is, he wants him to suffer from my pain. The more love I want, and there is a day, the more pain he wants to bear.
Is this really what I want?
Not! This is definitely not the love I imagined!
I walked for an hour, I walked back to Mazu Street, but I still didn't want to know what I should do.
I bought a beer at the small sale of the street, and I went to the reef beach.
I am sitting on the reef, while drinking beer, looking at the black lacquered sea.
In the TV series, there is a very defimachang bridge: the male protagonist and the heroine have finally been together, and suddenly the male protagonist or heroine finds yourself. At this time, whether it is a male protagonist or a heroine, it will hide the condition silently, trying to drive the other side, I hope that the other side should not love himself.
Every time I see this plot, I will always say yawn: "Can I have a little new?" Now I finally understand, why this bridge is so deficient, because this is an inevitable choice for deepness And the screenwriters want to introduce new, and they can't violate humanity.
When I was drinking wine, I wiped my eyes with my fingers, and I have to treat myself like the actress in the TV series.
However, Wuji Blue is not a male protagonist in the TV series, he will not be able to hurry.
From the beginning, he is very clear, it doesn't want to accept me in the root!
If it is not my death, he will not take it!
He will never give me a chance to die, I have to think clearly.
In the sound of the waves, I opened the sixth cans of beer.
Idea, I am very clear, I am not right, here is not a place to get drunk alone, but now I just want to drink. Forget it, I will give Jiang Yi Sheng to call Jiang Yi, let him go home.
I was drinking, I thought about it, and my mobile phone suddenly rang.
I took out my mobile phone, I saw Wu Zaju Blue's phone. I didn't want to pick up. I have already stuffed back to my pocket. I can think of it. I will not let him worry, still pick it up.
Wu Ji Blue asked: "Where are you?"
I installed the sound of smiley, "I have a chat with my friends. I am sorry, forget to give you and Jiang Yusheng."
"An old classmate who has encountered in the hospital, I only plan to chat with a small party, I can call my classmates, I have a few classmates. You go home first, don't wait for me, I have to go back late. "
I grabbed my hair: "Everyone is talking, I can't scatter for a while, I bring my key, you don't have to take me, I will sleep first!"
Wu Ju Blue is silent.
I think I have already installed it again, and I've been on the edge of the collapse, I am busy: "They call me, you have to don't work, I hang up." After that, he responded, and immediately hang it immediately.
I got up and took the remaining half of the beer and opened a can of beer.
After drinking two cans of beer, I suddenly screamed: "Wu Ju Blue, I love you!"
"Shen Shu is very love Wuju Blue!"
"Wu Ju Blue, there is a very good girl who loves you! If you don't cherish, you will regret it later ..."
I am spurting in the dark sea and venting.
Wu Ji Blue, if you are the same as me, or I will tell you, I will tell you how much I love you!
From small to big, I really want to love Dad and mother like other children, but my parents have not given me this opportunity. I have accumulated a lot of love, I don't want to give anyone, I don't dare to give anyone, because that is ordinary, all, but I want to give you.
I want to use my life to love you well, do my best to you, use all of all everything to pet you, let you become the happiest man!
However, you don't give me an opportunity, I am full of hot love, I can only turn the black sea, a sound of shouting. I can hear it, I can hear it, the big sea can hear, but only can't let you hear!
I drunk a can of beer in a breath, pinched the can.
I contained tears to swear to myself: "The last time! If he responded to me, the fate tells me not to give up, if he didn't respond to me, the fate tells me that I should give up!"
I put down the beer can and swayed. I gathered in my mouth, facing the big sea, using the whole body strength: "Wu - - ! - - blue ..."
Under the stars, the sea breeze was gently blowing, and the waves were softly patted the reef. I stood on the high reef, like a madman, and used all the best, once again, it seems that all lives are consumed in the call.
I know no one will respond!
I made this clearly know the vows of the results, just forced yourself!
Calling his name over and over again, calling yourself, telling yourself, I have tried my best.
From now on, I will embed this feeling deeply, let him think that I think we are not suitable.
I will tell him, I can let go, and I can forget him. Anyway, the only eternal in this universe is everything will die. Even a star can disappear, let alone a feeling? Ask him to leave, I will definitely disappear over time! This is an objective law, and all things will not be violated!
I believe that I will be very sincere, even if he stares at my eyes, he will believe that because I am telling the truth, I definitely not deceive him.
Just, I won't tell him, I will have the time to disappear for his feelings!
I will definitely disappear in this world, because I will definitely disappear in this world!
"Wuji Blue! Wuji Blue! Wu Ji Blue ..."
Called a few hundred, after thousands of times, my scorpion was finally dumb, and I couldn't call it.
Haitian room, everything is silent, no sound responds to my call.
This is the final result of the fate telling me, is also the best result!
My heart is dead, and my tears look up and look at the sky of the head.
In the tears of the mist, tens of thousands of stars shine, it seems to be close to me, and it seems to have them.
How much like Wu is blue! So dazzling, became your entire starry sky, let all the gems in the world have lost color. However, you can only look, never have!
I was confused towards the starry sky, I want to hug the whole sky.
Suddenly, a meteor appeared, if the lightning slipped over half of the horizon, disappearing at the end of the sea.
I didn't think about what meteor is thinking, but when my eyes naturally follow its rays, the only flash in my mind is: I want Wuju blue!
When the meteor disappeared, I couldn't help but the sound and called again: "Wu Ju Blue!"
I have tears: "It's an idiot!"
I know that it is a deception, I still do it! If you want to achieve a wish for meteors, people around the world don't have to work hard, every night, there is a wish to show mens such as the sky!
I am looking at the stars, and a thought is like a meteor. I am gone through my mind. My body suddenly stiff.
"If you want to know him, don't listen to him, but I have to listen to what he didn't say."
I stood in a while, like a dream, I hurried out the phone.
In the call record, the recent record is "Wu Ju Blue", it is already two hours ago.
I trembled his name and dialed the phone.
The familiar ringtone sounded, although it was very weak, but in this silent night, in addition to the sound of a soft surmity, only it, heard a clear.
It turns out that he did not respond, but, I called his way wrong.
He is here, he has been here!
In the moment, shocked, ecstasy, fortunate, sad, bitter ... all kinds of fierce emotions are stirring in the heart, stirring my brain as boiling water, a fog fans, let me sadness, I want to laugh, and again I want to cry.
When the ringtone of the , Wu Ju Blue appeared. Under the stars, he stood on the cliff in the height, and he looked at me as soon as he came.
I didn't know when he was in the sea, I didn't say it to the sea, it seems that I have been heard that I am told him. At this moment, he was near my eyes, but I couldn't call it, just staring at him.
He floated from the cliff, the darkness did not have a slightest, and the reef of the squat did not hinder him. He was in front of me.
His Feng Huaranran, stated in front of me. The eyebrows are deeply calm, and the look is not forced. It is like he embarrassed that there is no way to see me. It is spent on the previous month and come to the appointment.
In fact, we have been almost a few hours, but my heart has come back several times between death. Looking at him, just like a long time after the hardship.
The lost joy, the heart of the rest of the rest of the life, the blame of grievances, and the nervousness of the beloved person ... I looked at him in the intersession, it seems that there is a thousand words to talk, and it will eventually become a sentence. Waiting for a light: "Why is it hiding in the dark?"
"I promised Jiang Yusheng, and did not let you stay alone before the origin of those people."
I understand, he is not looking for, but has not left from the beginning. When I was talking to the stairway, he didn't leave, but he was going onside. Later I didn't get a league, he has been following it.
So, what he should see, and understand anything.
I thought that he saw that I was drunk, I lied and said that I was drinking and chatting, and there were those screaming struggles and pain ... I called a few thousand times his name, he was obvious, but it was not able to I looked at me for a desperate situation ...
I was sad and angry, I couldn't help but hit him.
At this moment, I really hate him, I will not be in love, bite the teeth, so that I don't do my best, simply like a life of death.
He moved, he did not send, let me play.
I played, I only felt that I couldn't say that my grievances were sad, tears, hugged his number and cried.
He finally reached out and patted my back.
I am hoarse voice, : "Wu ... ..."
This time, he did not pretend that he did not hear, but a word clearly: "I am here."
I can't believe it, I'm a glimpse, and I called it again: "Wu Ju Blue!"
He said very clearly again: "I am here."
I wiped tears, stared at him like he didn't know him.
Wu Ju is quietly staring in me.
I took a breath, I looked at him, and said, "I don't give up! No matter what you think, say that my skin is good, anyway, I don't give up anyway! Even if I am dead, give you Many pains, I don't give up! Compared with you, my life is very short, but I will give you all my life! "
Wu Julai is silent, just look at me. His eyes were not too much before, and the darkness of the darkness shines, as if there were thousands of stars to melt in his eyes, more beautiful than the vast starry sky.
I asked nervous: "You, you ... what do you think?" I am too afraid that he is ruthless, and if he is afraid that he will say something hurt.
He asked calmly: "Is this your choice?"
I firmly said: "This is my choice!"
He asked calmly: "Even if you will bring you pain?"
I firmly said: "Even if you will bring you pain!"
He asked calmly: "Even if you will bring me pain?"
I firmly said: "Even if you will bring you pain!"
Wu Ju Lan smiled slightly, and said, "Good!"
I don't know what his "good" means. However, his smile made me forget everything, I only thought that the sunny night turned into Lang Lang, it seems that there is a warm sun, and it will be surrounded, give me Come and merge it.
Wu Jura said: "Let's go back, stay again, you have to catch a cold."
His tone is too warm, let me completely lose the thinking function, I only know that I obey my head.
All the way, he has been holding my hand, did not let go, I have been in the state of the brain.
I fainted back home, when he let go of my hand, let me go to the building, I will react, I seem to have not asked clearly what he thought.
I stand at the stairway and I am not willing to go upstairs.
Wu Ji Blue asked: "What happened?"
I have a courage, and I will ask the Barba: "I just on the beach, you, what do you mean?"
He turned into the study and took a notebook and gave it to me.
It is the notebook that he painted three sketch charts, it is really a very memorable thing! I couldn't help but play a cold battle, biting my teeth, hard my head.
Wu Ju Lan is light caressing my head, gently said: "Don't be nervous, this time isn't ..." Not what, he didn't say anything.
"Well!" I promised in my mouth, and my mood couldn't relax.
I went to the mood of the strong man to die, holding a notebook, hurried upstairs.
I just closed the door of the bedroom, I opened my notebook. After turning around three sketch pictures, the next piece of paper is filled with the words of the floating words.
After reading two sentences, I suddenly made a breather, not a cold wounded, but Ji Bron's prose poem "love":
When I loved you, follow him, although his road is difficult.
When the wings of love hugged you, according to him, although the sharp edges hidden in the wings may hurt you.
When I love you, I trust him, although his words will smash your dream, just like the north wind to blow the garden.
Love is to wear a crown, and you will also pin you on the cross.
Although love can grow, you can also trim you.
Although I can climb, I caught out the branches in the sun; but I can push up, shake the roots of your dirt.
All of this is to love your temper, so that you can know the secret of your heart, your cognition is part of your life, complete your life.
However, if you are afraid, just want to seek love and pleasure. So, you'd better cover your true self and avoid the trial of the trial. Entering the world of the seasons, where you can laugh, but you can't laugh; you can cry, but you can't cry all the tears in your heart.
Don't think you can guide the direction of love, because when you find you enough to qualify, you will guide you in your direction.
I have read it several times, holding a notebook tightly, leaning on the door in the bedroom, including tears, smiling and closes my eyes.
Just now, Wu Ju Blue entered the book, immediately took a notebook, obviously could not be the case this evening. I can't guess when he wrote, maybe he questioned me later, maybe he wrote in these two days.
In any case, in this emotion, people who think and choose in this feelings are more than just me. He is tortured my problem, he is also torture yourself.
Regardless of the process, the result is that we have done the same choice, let love love! As for pain, we are willing to bear! Because this is part of love!