You don't deserve to be alive unless you're the best.
That's what my father always told me.
It was probably before I can remember.
Those words were always with me.
They stuck together like a shadow.
I had to be the first to get my father's approval.
I think I was always afraid of that back then.
I had to be better than anyone else.
I was driven to be the best, as if driven by something.
People call me a genius, but it's not true.
But really, it's not.
It's just a huge amount of preparation and effort.
I was always the best.
I was a bit of a celebrity, being called a prodigy, and people were often envious of me.
Luke is really amazing. You're so blessed with your talent.
"I have a good family background and a good face. Above all, your magical talent is beyond human understanding.
"I wanted to be like you, me too.
That assessment of my surroundings gave me some comfort.
Yes, that's right. That's good.
I was happy to hear my father's words.
My father, who was so strict, recognized me as a special person.
That's why I must not lose.
I'm not the best, and I'm worthless.
I was accepted at the top of my class at the prestigious Academy of Magic in the royal capital.
Smooth sailing.
A perfect life that everyone would envy.
But on my first exam, I'm about to experience the most shocking event of my life.
For the first time in my life, I missed out on the Basic Magical Structure test.
My eyes went blank with anger and fear.
As a trueborn son and heir to a duke.
And completely oblivious to the way I should behave as an impeccable, perfect honor student, I was saying, 'You've done a hell of a lot of good, man.
'You've done a hell of a job, dude. I can't believe a commoner can beat me here: ......!
That was my first encounter with a strange commoner woman.
I have no recollection now of what I was thinking when I said that.
Maybe he had calculated that the commoner woman would be frightened if I, as a Waldstein, threatened her, or maybe it was just an uncalculated impulse.
No, since I am a calculating person, I probably had a little of the former in mind, but I did not know.
But I did not know.
The fact that this commoner woman was not the kind of person to bow to the name of the duke family.
"Who is a commoner! I would not have been able to attend this school without my mom working very hard as a woman! I'm proud of that and I don't care if you're a duke or not! I'll beat the shit out of you a hundred times, a thousand times!
Perhaps I have added fuel to the fire.
But that doesn't mean I'm not scared.
You're good.
I'm going to crush you head on.
It was only one time that I won on a whim.
When it comes to strength, I'm obviously better than you.
However, my expectations were once again betrayed.
''Humph! See, you big dumbass!
On the next test, I was beaten by her in two subjects.
'Keep up the good work and I'll win them all, and next time I'll win them all! Wash your neck and wait!
My whole body was about to boil.
I couldn't forgive myself for losing, even more than I was angry at her.
You can also use it to study for the test with all your might.
I'm not going to lose to that bad commoner woman. ......!
Seasons pass.
Before I knew it, my life revolved around her.
Three years have passed, and I still haven't been able to take first place in all my subjects at the same time.
In fact, I was even losing to her in the majority of the subjects.
The teachers would roll their eyes and say, "I've never seen a student this good at my age," but all I had in mind was a dry spell.
I had to be the best, even though I didn't deserve to be alive.
I have to win.
I absolutely had to win.
But then one day, an incident occurs.
I found out that my father had an affair, and the house was in chaos.
I despised my father from the bottom of my heart for making my mother cry and making excuses to save his own skin.
Was he trying so hard to be accepted by such a person?
When I thought about it, my view of the world changed completely.
I've worn myself out and worked hard to this day, but I was never satisfied.
But I wasn't satisfied at all.
I even felt like I was the most unhappy person in the world.
What is the point of living if I'm this empty even though I'm trying so hard?
It was when I was in such a pensive mood that I said to myself, "I'm sorry, you're the only one.
I'm sorry, I didn't want to ask you this, but there's something I just don't understand.
I had no reason to refuse, so I told her.
Then, somehow, the commoner woman began to approach me for some reason.
It was a bother, so I just took care of it.
It was a bother, so I took care of it.
You look like you're doing it cool, but you're a pretty hard worker," she said.
What, out of the blue?
No, it's in the way you teach. The level of understanding of people who don't understand is amazing. You don't start out as someone who could do it, but you do it until you can.
I'm sorry for being so clumsy.
I took that word as a negative.
The ideal self that I could easily become the best.
My father's ideal self.
It was a denial of my failure to become the best.
But the commoner woman said, "I think it's good that you are like that.
But the commoner woman said, "I think it's good that you are like that. If we're going to compete with each other as rivals, someone who works hard is much better. I will be encouraged to do my best.
The classroom was bathed in evening sunlight.
I don't know why I still remember that smile as he squinted at me.
There may be some hard times, but cheer up. We'll get through the tough times together, Luke Waldstein.
I honestly don't want to talk much about what happened after that.
It's a terribly mundane and ubiquitous story.
I found myself following a commoner woman who came up to me for some reason with my eyes.
I denied again and again that this could not be true.
I tried to wonder why such a commoner woman would come to me.
I couldn't believe it.
I found myself falling helplessly in love with her.
It's such a common and boring story.
I was happy just to be with her.
Yo, how are you doing? I was so happy just to be tapped on the shoulder.
But I don't want her to notice me, so I pretend that I'm not aware of it.
I'm a duke and she is a commoner.
It's not possible for them to approve of your marriage, so even if you communicate your feelings, the only thing waiting for you in the end is a sad ending.
Even if your feelings are reciprocated, the time of separation will come in the end.
Above all, I didn't want to hurt her with my selfishness.
I wanted her to be happy.
I want her to be happy, because it's more important to me than what I want.
I had to give up.
You knew that.
--I'm so stupid that I ended up doing this, you know.
In the shortest amount of time possible, I became an adamantite, and in the face of opposition, I forced myself to bring her in as my buddy, and we spent some time together.
Make time for us to spend together, hoping a little bit that she'll notice.
I'm even prepared to get her to accept the marriage, just in case a miracle happens and she accepts me.
Most importantly, after all that I've done, I'm ready to
I'm thinking that if I can stay next to her as a friend without her noticing, I'll be happy to stay like this for the rest of my life.
You really are a helpless fool.
I can't help but think that, from the bottom of my heart.
(I don't blame you. I don't care what form it takes. I just want to be there for you.)
The one thing I never want to give up.
Come on!
A moody and hapless word invited me to dance with her in the garden at night.
She only thinks of me as a friend, and since I've been like that for so long, maybe it's past time for her to see me as a love interest.
Since it's been that way for so long, maybe the time for her to see me as a love interest has already passed.
Therefore, this love may never be rewarded.
Still, I can't help but hope for the best.
I hope that one day you will be thinking about me too.
I hope that day will come.
I will dance with you under the full moon.
I'm in love with you.