The Struggle of Returning to The Other World

At that next moment I was rolling over a strange carpet.

My eyes are tiny.

I'm very bad at metastases. I don't like it, but how many times does this add up to being transported to surgery? I only remember that none of it was a preferred situation. Of course, I do appreciate the fact that you can transport me to a place I can't go on my own.

The dizziness quickly subsided, so I looked around in awe as I got up.

Somehow, they must have flown to Noel. It's not weird to have him in front of you right now.

But contrary to expectations, it was a deserted room there.

Probably in the royal palace. The neat and large room somehow reminds me of Lady Frahamti's office. It's inorganic and somewhere boneless.

(No Noel either......)

It seems a little disappointing, somewhere horrible.

But if you think calmly, I would have appreciated not being flown directly to where Noel was. At this hour, which can still be said to be daytime, of course Noel would be at work. Even in the middle of the Knights. If it had metastasized, it would have been a huge hassle.

(Oh, this)

On a solo sofa, an unmade jacket is hung.

If I reluctantly took it in my hand, it certainly seemed to belong to Noel. I felt my chest tighten strongly if I drew it to my chest. I can't help but recall the days when I can't see him, to just a few of his leftovers.

But isn't this like a perverted stalker? I coughed small and kept my jacket back in place.

Perhaps this is Noel's office.

If you look indoors again, it is a functional space with very little to waste.

On the desk, there are several kinds of documents and books. I try to sneak up on the chair, trying not to look at the contents.... I wonder if Noel usually sits here and works like this.

When I was a witch, Noel just visited me, and on the contrary, I rarely went to his office, etc. I didn't even know he was being given a personal office like this.

I know very little about Noel.

Anything but Noel, who was my knight, was spent knowing nothing.

(Noel's a long way from home...)

With a cheek wand on his desk, he looks out the window without a seat.

If I kept my eyes closed, I would have quickly fallen into a world of melancholy.

But.

Before that happened, things moved.

All of a sudden, there was no foretaste, and the door to the room opened.

It was - naturally, Noel, the lord of this room - who came in without a knock.

I didn't think I'd be back at this time, and I got stuck much as I was surprised. Noel was Noel, and I wonder how unexpected it would have been to have me on this occasion. Equally solidified near the entrance to the room.

Oh, yeah, me, I was sitting in my seat when I could be Noel on my own!

I'm too shy in many ways. I stood up in a great panic.

"I'm sorry I took the liberty!

"Hulka, why are you here? Is something wrong?"

Noel walked over here with a big crotch. Take my arm, which is getting smaller in the corner of the room, and make sure there is no difference anywhere in that body, and exhale slightly.

"Well, Mr. Luno had a metastasis."

"You know what?"

Noel frowned in disgust.

"Earlier, my superior told me to return to my office as soon as possible. I thought it was something, but Lord Luno set it up."

"I'm so sorry, I was at work. Because I asked Mr. Luno... did you? No, I didn't ask for it, but I wonder if that's how it turns out."

Noel looks down quietly at me, whining with a bump that somehow doesn't fall.

"Something didn't go wrong."

"Yeah. I'm really fine"

"That's fine. I've been wondering because I haven't seen you again lately."

"... thanks"

I'm delighted with its kindness. But at the same time, I am sorry.

"So? You must have talked to me about something."

"Ah......, yeah"

"That doesn't sound like a fun story."

It also sounded like a tear up, but Noel's eyes were so serious that I knew he was never in a casual mood.

I, uh, wanted to apologize to Noel.

"Apologize?"

What should I do? My head glues.

I haven't got my ideas together. Yet can we keep talking about it?

"You know."

Noel waited patiently for me to be confused.

I'm sure it's a story you don't want to hear, but still, it gives me time.

"I told you before, I, Noel, want you to wait."

You mean the answer to the confession?

Confessions.

That's what they clearly said, and I felt heat gathering in my face.

What are you more shy of now, I am.

"... yeah. I told you I wanted time because I wanted to think about it."

"Oh."

"But that was a really, really rude story, and now I realize it."

Noel is looking straight down at me.

"My 'thinking' was about whether or not I would stay in this world. If I'm going to stay in this world, I want to be with Noel. If not, I'll say goodbye to Noel, too. That's the only way I thought about Noel. And I thought it was too casual for you to wait."

"If it's your situation, it won't help either. What's the matter, you can't just not think about connecting with this world. I know that, too."

"But I don't think so. I shouldn't accept Noel's confession."

I said it.

Words that reject Noel.

Am I just hurting Noel even though I don't know the best way yet?

"I am now at my best to live in this world. Besides, I'm aware that I'm in a situation like that if I want to. I said I'd think about Noel properly, but I'm not thinking about it at all. I think there's such a discretionary assumption at the bottom of my mind that Noel will be waiting for me the whole time. The truth is, it can't be that. Noel has feelings for Noel, he has thoughts, and he doesn't even know when, his feelings for me are going to change into something different. Even though that's normal..."

"Hulka"

"I've had scattered help so far, and I know that my current life is made up of Noel helping me. I really think I'm the worst person to ever say this by now, even though I've made Master Ardina quit his escort. But I'm sorry. I, Noel's feelings are unacceptable. I want to make sure it's black and white."

"Hulka"

Noel grabbed my shoulder.

It's not abusive. But it's a very powerful force.

"Are you serious, it"

"Yeah."

I glanced up at Noel as though he was a snob.

Maybe this choice is wrong. But I don't think it's the same thing that keeps sweetening up to Zulu and Noel's favors.

"Why, you always are......!

Noel's face is distorted.

And I was pushed straight against the wall behind me.

Cough slightly. I thought I was a little scared of Noel.

Stiffened up, Noel won't let go of the hand that pushes me. I've never seen him so exposed and angry.

"I couldn't help but remember who I was supposed to never see again. Now, you can't be bitter enough to wait another year."

"But it's not like keeping Noel tied up"

"You know it's more cruel to not even be able to wait?

"It's..."

"You're supposed to be right on the side, but you never get it. Nothing. You're supposed to be a normal woman, but you're always out of your reach."

I couldn't help but notice Noel looking down at me at close range.

"You said that when I told you my thoughts. I'm mistaken for love for a sense of duty to protect you. But it's not. Isn't it you who mistook the nearest dependence on me for love?"

No. - Why?

That can't be right.

I realized my clenched fist was shaking slightly.

I can't believe how hard and regrettable it is for me to be taken in the wrong direction by the person I wanted to convey my thoughts to.

Did Noel feel the same way?

It's not a mistake.

"You know what I mean? This isn't the first time you're trying to keep your distance. You haven't needed me since you were re-summoned to this world."

"No, that's not true"

Painful.

Looks like they threw lead in the back of my chest.

How much do you think I missed Noel when I got back into this world?

How sad do you think Noel was when he found out he had become Lord Ardina's knight?

How comforting do you think Noel cared about me even from afar?

Thinking you shouldn't just rely on Noel to work on your own was that bad? Like before, if only Noel was in the world, sweet, shy, relying on it, would that have been okay? Is that the only proof that you like Noel?

Something I wanted to say piled up like a mountain, and it was going to flood out of my body.

But it's utterly speechless.

No matter how many words you exhaust and tell Noel, it's all going to be an excuse.

"I like Noel."

In the end, that's all I could say.

"I like you."

The last of those words, which I told him to groan, dissolved and disappeared in obscurity.

'Cause Noel's been putting his lips together like a bump.

His face, which he should have looked up close, widened to full sight. when he breathed much more, even that breath was sucked into the back of his lips.

"Huh."

Though he was surprised to push Noel back on his shoulders, Noel was not even scared. I can't even pull myself out of this one because I'm being pressed against the wall, and I'm filled with just a slight wandering.

I couldn't stop meditating my eyes and gripping Noel's clothes hard.

The feeling of warm, soft lips, but also too uncut. It seemed as though Noel's suffering was intact enough to be deeply mouthed.

I wonder how long it's been.

Noel's lips finally broke apart and I opened my eyes softly as I was about to be floated by heat. Noel's exhalation looking down at me at close range is hot.

"For you, if my feelings are going to be burdensome, you can throw them away here. But I'm sure I keep waiting for you. I don't want you to refuse even that. It's just that."

A bitter voice.

That sounded much more truthfully to my chest than any other word.

"... Harka, you, there's nothing on the spoon."

A few days after that.

I had lunch with Senna, who had just entered the lunch break, at the back of the store, taking me to the fixer at the same time as the festival meeting.

Your husband's specialty is the so-called paella, which is cooked with white rice with plenty of seafood. I should have carried a spoon with great joy in the shades and aromas that looked delicious to see......

If Senna pointed me out and dropped my gaze, the spoon was certainly empty.

"I'll tell you what, because the empty spoon's been going back and forth between the plate and your mouth so many times since earlier."

"What, really? I'm sorry."

"No, it's not about apologizing. Anyway, eat it before it gets cold."

"Yeah."

Rounding my back, I quietly carried Paella to my mouth.

... delicious.

At all times, unchanged, your husband's food is very tasty.

"Is something wrong? Hulka."

Senna, who had almost finished eating, had asked that in such a way as to talk to the public. Back to back with that light vibe, it conveys that you're obviously worried about me in strange shape.

If you have a good person, report it.

That's what you told me. I was reminded of Senna's smile.

"... you know, Senna. Actually, there's someone I like."

Boosh, and a mosquito-like voice, I began to speak.

"Yeah, what's up?

"Apparently, he thought a lot about me, too."

"Oh, I'm not happy."

"But I don't know when I'm going back to the country, so I don't know what to do."

"Is that person over here?

"Yes."

"Where is the country of Hulka? Is it far?"

"It's far away. - Wow."

No matter how long you keep walking, the road hasn't continued here.

It's too far away.

"So I was confessed to that person, and I said I couldn't respond"

Talking that far, Senna silenced herself with a difficult look.

I was like, "Idiot!" or "Waste! Her reaction was a little unexpected because I thought," or some prestigious word would fly by.

"So, you regret turning it down?

"... Honestly, I don't know. I don't know what was right, but how I feel right now."

"If you look at it from Hata, you'll see in one shot, but hey. You look like the end of the world."

"Ugh."

I touched my cheek.

"The other guy? What did you say when you said no?

"He said you can forget about the confession. But he told me he'd been waiting."

"... haha"

Senna raised a roar that was neither impressive nor frightening.

"Halka, I envy you. How can we get around to a guy who says something like that to us? I'm gonna give you a big face."

"What, no, that. I feel like I've used up my fortune for the rest of my life..."

"And yet, I said no to the confession,"

"Ugh."

I really can't say anything anymore.

Sure, I was very happy and thankful, but I let them go at my own convenience, and I was so depressed. Then I can't take care of them.

"I'm sure they're more adults than Hulka"

"... Yes"

It doesn't mean you know what you're talking about.

"Huh?"

"Well, you can be sweet about what they say. Go as far as you can, warm, right and left, and grieve and weep."

A merciless ghost existed here as well.

"Then you'll see some answers."

Is that so? Can one day, properly, find an answer?

"By the way, that opponent is not Mr. Ars, is it?

"No, sir."

Denying it with a lower voice than I thought myself, I drew in the rest of the paella.