The Triplet Alphas' Regret

I rocked him a few times, but didn’t get a response. He was like a limp puppet that had its strings cut, completely unresponsive to the world.

"Oh my Goddess," I muttered under my breath. "Cassian, don’t scare me. Are you dead?"

I leaned in, hoping to get a clear view of the face. I was so petrified that the smell of the bile didn’t even occur to me. All I wanted to see was if Cassian was still alive.

If he were dead, I was going to get into a whole world of trouble. While I didn’t feel much affection for him, the bond between us made me churn with worry. Realistically, I knew that I did not love or care for him the same way I did for Lucien. However, the fated bond between us made my heart clench nevertheless.

Unmoving, Cassian looked so peaceful and harmless. He looked every bit like Lucien’s brother should― calm, powerful, and even kind. There was softness in his features, and he looked like a fairytale prince.

Awake, Cassian did not have any of these features.

He always had his eyebrows furrowed, and the look in his eyes was always filled with hatred. He had never looked this serene. At least, he never gave me the chance to see him in such a manner.

Cassian had always been against the fated bond between us, and likewise, I hated how it forcibly tied me to this man who hated and mistreated me so much.

At the same time, it was also because of the bond that I knew he wasn’t dead.

Yet.

It gave me some sort of comfort― whether it was that Cassian was still alive, or because I wouldn’t be punished for his death, I wasn’t too sure. It could be both. However, I had to remind myself that it didn’t mean that he couldn’t or wouldn’t die soon.

Suddenly, Cassian sputtered. I jolted a little in surprise, placing a hand on my chest as I inhaled sharply. I closed my eyes for a moment.

"I bet... you wanted me dead..." Cassian said with a groan and a cough. "Too bad for you..." He weakly said, "I’m still kicking."

I let out one short laugh, shaking my head. For some reason, I felt my shoulders sag instantly with relief.

"I don’t want you dead," I confessed. It was the truth. I merely wanted him far, far away from me, so that he wouldn’t be able to lay his hands on me whenever he lost his temper. "But if you ever do something as stupid as that again, you’re on your own."

Cassian let out a sniff, seemingly offended by my words, but he could do nothing more than to squirm a little on the floor like a poor little worm. I watched him in silence, then he shot me an affronted look.

"Are you just going to do nothing? Help me lie down!" He grumbled.

I rolled my eyes, deciding to do a good deed. I helped him to turn around as much as I could, but I realized he could only lay his head on my lap. There were no pillows anywhere near us, and I didn’t have the strength to haul him onto an infirmary bed.

I waited for Cassian to make a fuss about his new circumstances. However, his head rested easily on my lap, a comfortable, warm weight on my thighs. He was surprisingly quiet, and that, more than anything else, told me that Cassian was thoroughly exhausted after his ordeal.

For a second, our gazes met and stayed that way, lasting for a longer moment than we had ever done so.

This was probably the first time we were not openly at each other’s throats. I held my breath as I stared down at him. When Cassian was silent, he was a lot more tolerable. It was a shame he had to nearly die to reach this state of behavior.

Then, he slowly reached up towards my face, surprising me. I jerked back a little, but Cassian’s palm still found my cheek. His touch was surprisingly gentle, and not the slap I had expected.

I didn’t even realize I was crying until his thumb ran across my undereye, wiping away the trails of tears.

"Why are you crying?" he asked, his voice softer than usual. I couldn’t tell if that was gentleness in his tone, or if he was simply still feeling a little weak due to the aftereffects of the wolfsbane. "You look awful."

The random jab didn’t carry the same heat it usually did. If anything, it made my heart feel slightly warm as I snorted, shaking my head.

"I’m not crying. I was just allergic to your presence," I said, sniffling. I blinked back my tears. "Besides, you have no right to talk about looking awful. Have you seen yourself?"

"I nearly died," Cassian protested. "I think I deserve some slack."

"And to think you made a fuss about me puking when you did the same," I added, since he was too tired to fight me on it. "Did you finally realize it’s a very human and normal thing to do when you eat something your body doesn’t agree with?"

"Whatever. I’m not a human anyway..." he grumbled. "I only did it because I learned from the best," Cassian countered. The corners of his lips twitched into what seemed almost like a smile. "But I have to admit... it would be hard to outdo you."

I snorted. I doubted Cassian had the guts to puke on Rowan like I did.

Both of us remained in this position, and I absentmindedly began to stroke the fine strands of his hair while Cassian blinked slowly, his eyes watching my fingers with a dazed expression.

However, whatever rare moment of warmth between us was quickly crushed when the doors to the infirmary burst open. Rowan and Soren stormed in, their eyes blazing red with fury. I could see the urgency on their faces, and when they saw Cassian nestled in my arms, Soren’s shoulders visibly slackened while Rowan stiffened.

"There you are," Soren said, panting. "Do you know how worried we were when we realized you weren’t in your room? Where have you been? Were you here this whole time?"

"I..." I said, my mouth parting.

I couldn’t tell them what I was here for― they would just wonder where I even got the tea leaves. If it came down to that, I would have to present this entire case to them to judge before I collected enough evidence to thoroughly condemn Violet and prove myself innocent.

I couldn’t trust them not to play favorites, especially if the rest of the pack was dragged into this. So what if Rowan showed me some occasional support? If push came to shove, and the pack demanded me guilty, would he really stand against them for me?

There must be a hundred and one ways for him to punish me without letting the bond’s wrath inflict a punishment upon him.

And that was just Rowan.

My eyes swept across to Soren. Historically, I had been burned too many times to trust he would have my back. Whenever trouble came knocking, he always pushed me under the bus. This time might not be any different.

And don’t get me started on Cassian.

I may have saved his life, but I was also the reason why he nearly died in the first place. I wouldn’t let this short moment of warmth erase that knowledge.

"We’re returning to your room," Rowan said, coming forward. "Now."

Soren stepped forward as well, and he helped Cassian up, while Rowan pulled me onto my feet. I was dragged out of the infirmary, desperately looking back.

The last I saw was Cassian leaning against Soren for support, while Soren’s eyes looked at me with worry. Cassian’s gaze, however, was on the floor. He stared at nothing in particular, and if anything, he seemed a lot more dazed than before.

***

[SOREN POV]

"Sorry for waking you up so early, Sam," I said, sighing as I placed my hands on my hips. I watched as Samuel shone a small torch to look into the back of Cassian’s throat, then shook his head as he scribbled on his notepad. "He’s looking a little out of it."

"That’s one way to put it," Samuel said. I didn’t miss the small note of sarcasm under his words. "It’s a miracle he simply looks ’out of it’, nothing more."

"Did you find out what’s wrong?" I asked.

"Well," Samuel said, tapping the notepad with his pen. He swiveled around and looked at the puddle of vomit on the infirmary floor, sneering. "If my guess is correct, Alpha Cassian was poisoned by wolfsbane."

"Wolfsbane?" I asked, my eyebrows shooting up my forehead.

I looked at my brother. He sat on the bed, looking very groggy. It had been a while since Rowan brought Briar back to her room, and ever since then, Cassian had gone very quiet.

Before Rowan and I entered the infirmary, I could still distinctly hear Cassian’s voice through the door. He had been clear of mind enough to hold a proper conversation with Briar back then. However, as time went by, he became quieter.

Right now, he looked pissed drunk.

"Is that why he is acting like..." I trailed off, wincing, "like... that?"