The Triplet Alphas' Regret

Soren wanted to say something, but I refused to give him a chance to butt in.

"What makes you think that I will forget all these things just like that?" I asked, my voice cracking as those memories played with my emotions. "I have feelings too. I hurt too. When you were with Violet, holding and kissing her, didn’t you stop to consider how I might feel?"

Soren’s fingers tightened against my body for a split second before loosening a little. It wasn’t enough for me to completely shake him off of me, but I could tell that my words were starting to hit him where it hurt.

Good. I had wanted to do this for a long time.

"Whatever you felt when you saw me with Samuel was just the tip of the iceberg. There’s nothing between Samuel and me; we are innocent! But you, Soren, you walked straight down the aisle, right where Violet was standing, and decided to take her as your chosen mate, while I stood bleeding and bruised at the side, with a torn dress. So if I were you, I would get down from my high horse and be goddamn grateful that I’m even agreeable to breathe the same air as you."

I continued, "Soren Haden, you claim you care about me, but all you actually care about is yourself. Your own reputation, your own comfort. Even now, you’re just upset because I’m spending time with someone I actually like, without the need for a mate bond. The only thing that’s passable about you is your face, and that’s because you look the most like Lucien."

His eyes snapped up at the sound of that, and when I met his gaze, I refused to back down or look away. Hatred bled into my eyes, and I struggled to maintain control of myself so that I wouldn’t stoop to his level.

"But even so," I said, "I don’t think his eyes have ever been as unkind as yours have been to me."

I still remember the cold and distant expression that he had given me the morning after we had rolled in the sheets together. Violet was in his lap, and he seemed entirely content with her as his new bride. I still had no idea what had happened at that time, and thought that at least the Moon Goddess had spared me one good fated mate.

Never did I consider that she did spare me one, but it wasn’t Soren.

Surprisingly, Soren remained very quiet. I could see the golden glow of his eyes finally dim and eventually die off. The moment his shoulders slumped, I knew that his wolf had calmed down. Either that, or it had been beaten and bruised by the truth to a point where it no longer had the balls to face me.

"I..." Soren said again, though this time, his voice was much weaker than it was before. It no longer held the same strength and conviction, and his gaze slowly fell down to his shoes.

I exhaled deeply, trying to calm myself down. The sound of my racing heartbeat pulsed in my ear, and I had to take multiple deep breaths to cool off. Eventually, I shook my head.

Soren already looked thoroughly defeated. It brought me no joy to kick him while he looked like that, as much as I would’ve liked to take revenge. Ultimately, it was still difficult for me to bring him suffering for the sake of it, despite what he and his brothers had done to me.

After a few more seconds of silence, I shook my head and turned, preparing to walk away. However, I had just passed Soren when he suddenly reached out and grabbed my hand. He didn’t use much force, and if I really wanted to, a good shake would’ve probably been enough to get him off of me.

Yet, before I could do that, Soren spoke.

"I was wrong," he said.

My eyes widened with surprise. I could have sworn my ears were mistaken. Disbelief rushed through me.

Was Soren... finally admitting to his mistakes?

"I shouldn’t have treated you like that," he said. "Especially after you had placed that trust in me. I’m sorry."

I clenched my jaw, refusing to turn back and look him in the eye. However, he had successfully stopped me in my tracks. I licked my bottom lip before taking a deep breath.

"One sorry isn’t going to change anything," I said, albeit I could feel my voice shaking slightly. "I am not going to forgive you. This doesn’t erase any of that hurt you brought me. And it certainly doesn’t mean you have any right to dictate who I spend my time with."

"I know," he said. "I wasn’t expecting it to."

I gritted my teeth but stayed quiet as Soren continued to speak.

"You trusted me with your heart first," he said. "Even though you put up walls around yourself when it came to Rowan and Cassian, you trusted me to treat you well. And I betrayed that trust. Apologies take time. I... I need to start somewhere."

His fingers slightly tightened around my wrist. It wasn’t enough to hurt, but definitely enough to cause my skin to tingle. Tiny bolts of electricity thrummed through me, and I pulled away. I held my hand protectively in front of my chest, trying to rub my wrist so that I could erase the feeling of his warm skin pressed against mine.

"I got a little jealous," Soren continued when I remained silent. He then chuckled, more so at himself than at me. "Maybe more than just a little. When I saw how carefree you were with Sam and how you smiled at him, something just snapped in me. I lost control."

"You’re not my mate," I reminded him, finally breaking my silence to remind him of this salient fact. "What right do you have to be jealous?"

After all, he wasn’t the one who had marked me. If it had been Rowan who lost control, I could at least understand that it was simple werewolf biology that drove him mad. However, Soren and I may be fated mates, but we weren’t actually bonded yet.

He didn’t have the same impulses that Rowan naturally did.

When I turned back to peek at him, I realized that Soren’s shoulders had slumped down. He looked crestfallen at the floor, his gaze unable to meet mine.

"I don’t know why too," he confessed. "But I just... my wolf..."

"Your wolf can’t just be a convenient excuse for you," I said, frowning. My chest felt tight, swirling with conflicting emotions.

Yet, my argument was weak. If Soren was thinking rationally, he would’ve seen that too. After all, I had no wolf to speak of. Who was I to tell an Alpha what his wolf could or could not do? Alpha wolves were known for being highly possessive. To an extent, I understood why his wolf would react in such a way.

However, it didn’t mean I liked it. His wolf certainly didn’t encourage him to defend me back when I was being abused.

A few moments of silence passed between us. When it seemed like Soren wasn’t going to say anything else, I made a move. I didn’t want to stay in this room any longer than I needed to.

Soren’s bedroom was filled with his scent. Simply breathing was enough to flood my senses with him, and every second that ticked past with me in here just made my body feel warmer and hotter. I could feel my stomach curling with a familiar desire, and I knew that my non-existent wolf was going to make me do things I would highly regret if I didn’t get the hell out as soon as possible.

It had happened before with Rowan, and I didn’t want it to happen again with Soren. Having one of their marks on my neck was already one mark too many.

"If there is nothing else, I’m returning to my room," I said. "I heard that Violet is sick. Maybe you should be checking on your actual chosen mate instead―"

"Don’t go."

Before I could walk away, I felt Soren suddenly come up from behind me. His arms wrapped tightly around me, pulling me close to him. His chest pressed against my back, and I instantly tensed up as his scent flooded my nostrils.

His head was buried in my neck, and I could feel his hair tickling the side of my face.

"Please, Briar," he said. "What can I do for you to forgive me?"

I pursed my lips. "If you had defended me... or actually stood up for me back then, I wouldn’t have to endure so much hurt," I said. "But you dug that hole for yourself. You could have been what Lucien was to me now, back then."

He nuzzled further against my neck, and I could feel my cheeks starting to burn as a familiar warmth crept up my torso. For some reason, my limbs felt entirely frozen, rooting me to the ground. I was unable to struggle away even though Soren objectively wasn’t using that much force to hold me in place.

"Whatever you’re doing, it’s not going to work," I squeezed out. It was getting difficult to speak. "Let go of me―"