Chapter 155: Painful Pleasure
TW: Mildly Explicit
[SOREN POV]
A shudder of pain and pleasure overwhelmed me right at that very moment, causing my eyes to close. A small moan escaped from my lips at the same time. As such, I completely missed the expression of vehement hatred that Violet exuded with every fibre of her being.
However, when I opened my eyes, all I could see were tears in her eyes, an expression of abject hurt on her face as she stared up at me beseechingly.
"Soren... I know I’m not her, but if you close your eyes..." Violet’s voice warbled as she reached out a hand to clutch at my thigh. Her grip was so tight that I could feel her fingers attempting to leave crescent imprints through the fabric of my pants. "You can pretend I’m her. I’m willing to do this for you―"
There was the briefest moment where my heart wavered. Closing my eyes and simply pretending that Violet was Briar could offer me some quick, much-needed relief.
But then, just as I quickly entertained the thought, I put it aside with determined finality just as fast. If I did anything with Violet, I would be hurting Briar again. She would have to feel another bout of pain, on top of what she already felt with the failed marking.
I could not bear to do that to her. I would never let her suffer because of my own selfishness ever again.
Not to mention, I didn’t need another reason for Rowan to use against me. I could tell that his displeasure of the failed mark wasn’t just because the mark had failed. Rather, even though we were all born from the same womb and shared the same fated mate, Rowan didn’t actually want to share. I could hardly blame him; wolves were naturally territorial, and while we had thought it might be a possibility, none of us actually hoped for it to be true.
If I did anything with Violet, Rowan would know immediately because he was right by her side. He would then use it against me, all in the name of protecting Briar. While there would be some truth to that, I could guarantee that his motives weren’t entirely selfless.
"Violet, while I appreciate your offer, I am not willing to accept it," I said firmly, in a tone that brooked no argument. "You ought to have more respect for yourself as well."
I grabbed her arm none too kindly and pulled her up like she was a stubborn brick. Violet stared at me with unabashed shock, her mouth falling open as she continued to stare into my eyes with disbelief.
"Why? Alpha Soren, did I do something wrong?" The tears that were welling in Violet’s eyes rolled down her cheeks with abandon. "Why is everyone suddenly treating me so coldly? You’ve never done that before!"
If I was in a better mood, and my body wasn’t continuously wrecked with pleasurable pain and painful pleasure, perhaps I would have bothered coaxing her, wiping away her tears and reassuring her of her value. I didn’t like to make girls cry. I didn’t like to make anyone cry for no reason, for that matter.
However, since my body and mind were indeed enduring a spectacular form of torment, I had no more patience left with her. I could barely even think straight at the moment, and I couldn’t be damned to spare a few more brain cells to participate in her play.
"Go and find Cassian if you want company," I growled out through gritted teeth. "Now, will you kindly get out of my room with your own two feet, or would you prefer me to order the guards to escort you out?"
My threat hung in the air. Violet’s face paled when she realized I was being serious. She bit her lip and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands while sniffling sadly.
"Okay. I’ll leave," she said, her voice in a defeated whisper. "But only because you wanted me to. Alpha Soren, if you change your mind―"
"I won’t," I cut her off impatiently, one hand pointing to the door. "Go!"
Violet didn’t seem too keen to leave just yet. She looked at me with her large, watery eyes, batting them as though she thought it would make her look more pitiful. It did. But at the same time, it would only work on someone who actually had the heart to care.
At the moment, I didn’t have the heart nor the patience.
"But Soren..." she said, her voice so soft that it was almost difficult to catch. "I just want to help."
"You will be helping me by leaving me the fuck alone," I snapped.
My voice had gone an octave deeper all of a sudden, and I knew without a doubt that my eyes were already glowing. I could hardly hold back my animal instincts, and at the moment, those instincts were anything but romantic.
Maybe hearing the change in tone finally knocked some sense into her. After shooting me one final look of hurt, Violet finally turned away to leave. Her lips wobbled as she turned, and she looked like she was crying bitterly. Strangely enough, those tears didn’t seem fake.
When I saw the door close behind her barely clothed back, I sank to the floor in relief. Finally, I had regained my privacy.
I quickly got to work, unzipping my pants and pulling down my underwear with a ferocity that scared myself. I let out a breath as my cock sprang out from the confines of my outfit. It was already red and swollen with want, and as though a higher power had a strange sense of humor, my sensitive ears picked up a feminine, wanton moan from the other room, along with a masculine grunt of pleasure.
Briar and Rowan.
I gulped as my cock gave a painful twitch. My hand reached out to stroke myself to completion. There was a roaring in my ears, as my mind helpfully replayed Briar’s moan on repeat. I couldn’t help but imagine that I was the one next to her instead, that it was me giving her pleasure. What did she look like when she was overcome with pleasure? Would she prefer my efforts over Rowan’s?
I so desperately wanted to know. My mind conjured up images, each more lurid than the last. However, when I opened my eyes, the only thing that greeted me was my own fluids, dripping off my fingers.
Suddenly, I felt like curling into a ball. I was pathetic. I had to be better, if I wanted to be worthy of Briar’s forgiveness and her affection.
***
[BRIAR POV]
By the time I finally came to, the first thing I noticed was that there seemed to be something heavy resting on my waist, weighing me down. I groaned, trying to flip my body over, only to be held down by a firm grip.
It took me another split second to realize that this was someone’s arm― Rowan’s arm. He pulled me in close, and my back was quickly pressed flush against him, allowing me to feel the curve of his body.
"You’re awake?" he asked, his voice gravelly and low, still tainted by sleep.
I cracked my eyes open and stared outside. The sun was up, and it looked high in the sky. I couldn’t tell if I had slept for just a couple of winks, or if it had been a full day since.
"How long was I out for?" I asked, my head still feeling groggy. My whole body felt limp and weak. I could barely even control my limbs, and it felt as though I had been tortured at an intense practice for hours without rest.
A growl suddenly erupted from my stomach, and I looked down, my cheeks quickly turning red when I realized how hungry I had gotten. After a couple of meals of proper food, I had evidently turned too pampered.
"Let’s get you some food," Rowan said. I felt his arm leave my waist. The mattress dipped, and he quickly slid out of bed.
When I turned to look at him, it was just in time to see him leave the bed. His top was gone, revealing his broad, muscular back. His trousers hung low on his waist, and my line of sight went down, raking across every inch of his skin as though he was the feast I hungered for.
There were deep red marks that scored his skin, standing out against his skin tone. I gulped. My throat went dry when I realized that those were marks that my fingernails had left on him.
Rowan turned, slipping on a shirt over his head. When he caught me staring, a small smirk tilted the corner of his lips upward.
"You look starved," he said. For some reason, it didn’t feel like he was talking about my rumbling tummy or actual hunger.
I clenched my jaw and pursed my lips tightly together, trying desperately to prevent my cheeks from turning red.
"I’m not," I quickly denied.
"I find that hard to believe," he said. "You were out for three days. If it weren’t for the fact that you’re still breathing, I would’ve thought that you died."
My eyes widened when I registered Rowan’s words.
"I had been out for how long?!"