"We, let's end this now"

"I've got someone I like."

"Gross about me. Never forgive me. '

'I'm sorry. Thanks for everything.... Goodbye'

(... same dream again today)

I woke up from bed in the middle of the night, realizing I was in tears, and I laughed bitterly. I resent my femininity and the evil of giving up.

... Yes, I still dreamed of her almost every day. It's been three months since I broke up with her.

Her mysterious eyes I loved. When you stared at me, those eyes, always glowing in warm gold like the sun reflected in the sea, had at some point turned to the colour of frozen inorganic metal.

If there was at least something wrong with me, if I had done something that would have gotten her loving done, I might have been able to convince her to stay with me, please, because I would fix all the bad things.

Actually, I told her that. I threw away all my pride and begged. But until the end she said, 'Mason is really nothing wrong. All that was wrong was me'.

Whatever I said to her, no matter how much I sincerely wished for a future with her, her conclusions did not change from 'sorry'.

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

"... you should stop, seriously"

"I think so too"

That day, I was visiting a tavern in town with two friends.

There were quite a few casual and gentle people at my place of work, and they all worried about me, who had been like an abandoned person for a time since Marie and I broke up. Until then, I was building walls in my mind somewhere and I had a strange attitude towards everyone...

The two of them right now in front of me - Nick the gardener and Karen the maid - were heartfelt sweet friends who worried about me and took me out for a drink and listened to me over and over again, and who still cared how I was when I got back on my feet to some extent.

... It was no exaggeration that I was able to recover to some extent, or that I didn't have to make extreme choices when I was at the bottom, thanks to them.

So, what are those kind-hearted friends against? That was my attempt to volunteer for an escort assignment for a certain person.

"You've never met a lady, so you can have sympathy. Actually, I think you'll change your mind in two minutes."

"That's right! You know, I've been vindicated for, like, half an hour. Of course, I'm sorry I failed.... but that guy is a selfish, ruthless guy for the book, right?

"Yes, yes. I can't help it if I'm nominated, but I won't volunteer from myself."

"You're right. Mason, you're feeling a little better, but if you stay with someone like that for a week, you'll be mentally worn out again."

... No, what kind of person are you, the lady here? I can't believe these kind people hate me so much. On the contrary, I'm getting more and more interested.

The escort for the escort assignment I tried to volunteer for was Lady Chelsea, a courtesy of the Duke of Rosedale family at my place of work.

He was attending a magic school in Wangdu, but he was obstinately bullying and harassing his classmates at the school. Honestly, the bullying and harassment of that girl student I heard rumors about was a fine criminal act.

And because of that bullying, harassment, the young lady was expelled from school and was stripped of her aristocratic status until she was about to be confined to St. Andrews Abbey.

St. Andrews's Abbey was a monastery built on a small island floating in the far north sea, which of course seems to have ordinary monks, nuns, but it was somewhat with places famous as places where sinful nobles would be closed.

... Literally, you're an "islander".

And the lady was due back tomorrow from Wang Du to her parents' house - the mansion of the Duke of Rosedale's house, which is also my workplace, and was promptly then escorted to St. Andrews's Abbey.

The assignment I was about to volunteer for was her escort assignment on the way from the Duke of Rosedale's house to St. Andrews's Abbey.

There are quite a few other private soldiers in the Duke of Rosedale's house besides me, but so far no one has volunteered for that task, and they are rather distant with all their might.

The reason is Miss Chelsea's bad reputation as an escort. Even Nick and Karen, who are actually so heartfelt, meant that their appreciation of Miss Chelsea was as you can see earlier.

So why did I want to volunteer for Miss Chelsea's escort assignment? It was in what was said to be the direct cause of the bullying, harassment she had committed.

The lady had a fiancée. What a second prince of this country, His Royal Highness Kyle, that fiancé. And the prince seems to have fallen in love with the daughter of a civilian he met at school, even though he has a fiancée named Lady.

It seemed like a history of things that the lady who found out about it became furious and bullied and harassed her fiancée's cheating on her civilian daughter.... and as a result, the lady said she was going to lose everything.

When I heard the story, I was very sympathetic to the lady's situation.

The pain of being betrayed by the beloved, the despair of being deprived of the beloved, the anger and hatred towards the person who took away the beloved.... because I understand all of that very well.

Even I wanted to kill the person who took Marie if I could. No, I'm sure I would have if that were an acceptable situation.

I can't do that if my beloved betrays me, deprives me of my beloved, and tells me to stay sane. I can say that because I've never been through it.

I find it strange to be betrayed and subjected to a level of severe punishment of island flushing for deprivation of identity on the grounds that the person on the deprived side did that retaliation. You betrayed me, and I don't blame you for taking it from me.

... so I want to make her a safe and peaceful journey, at least as far as her journey to the monastery. And I know it's an extra favor with my thoughts, but as someone who has tasted the same pain, I want to ease her pain a little bit. I thought so.

... As far as Nick and Karen's reaction is concerned, she seemed to be quite an aggressive character lady before she was deprived of her beloved, but that's why my feelings haven't changed.

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

"... please be well"

"... thanks for everything, Eileen"

A few days later, the lady in the carriage I was planning to drive was exchanging a final greeting with her exclusive maid, Mr. Cathcart.

... No, ma'am, how much they really hated me. I can't believe Mr. Cathcart is the only one who dropped you off in the courtyard.

I hear you've done your farewell greetings to your family and other servants in the mansion, but isn't it usually something you drop off until you can't see the carriage?

I feel like I've seen it, and I don't even look like such a vicious person, young lady. Of course, right after I lost everything and was thrown to hell, so maybe I'm just in an abandoned state with a lost soul, like I did a few months ago.

"... may I leave, my lady"

"... please"

The lady answered quietly, saying so. Run the carriage slowly. From behind, Mr. Cathcart was dropping me off all the time as the carriage left.

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

At night, I was drinking alone in the corner of the restaurant and bar counter on the first floor of the hotel.

From the day Marie and I broke up, I couldn't sleep until I had consumed a good amount of alcohol.

So I've been drinking a lot of alcohol every day for over three months now.... don't die prematurely, damn it. It's okay.

How long have you been drinking alone? Someone made a footstep approaching me.

"May I be next door?"

"...? Ah, lady. Of course it is. Go ahead."

When I turned around, there was a beautiful woman with an elegant, classy, but slightly cold-looking impression - that is, a lady standing.

... Can't you sleep? Well, I get it. Neither do I.

What you're thinking right now... resentment, sadness or pain, pain or despair... tell me anything, lady.

Me, maybe, I should be able to understand how you feel more than anyone else.

And talking to people might make you feel a little better, too.

... I still didn't know then. That from that night onwards, a momentary and passionate love destined to end in just one week will begin.