This Novel is not my Novel

Although I wasn't the real Karvaldr and had no particular affection for him, listening to Valtraus made a surge of irritation rise within me.

"You can only say that because you weren't there. You didn't see Father's expression or the look in his eyes when he slapped me."

"You know as well as I do that Father rarely shows his emotions. So..."

"It wasn't his usual expressionlessness. Nor did he show anger or concern. He merely looked thoroughly sick and tired of me."

"That... cannot..."

"Why do you think it cannot be true? He knew perfectly well why I had attempted suicide, yet his attitude toward me did not change in the slightest."

"......"

Perhaps at a loss for words, Valtraus could offer no answer.

But I couldn't stop.

"Think carefully about it again. Was I truly the only person who failed to value the life purchased with Mother's?"

"......What are you trying to say?"

"The people who drove me that far were Father, our sister, and you. None of you valued me. None of you even paid attention to me. Was that not why I could not value myself either, and why I could find no reason to go on living?"

"That..."

Valtraus forced the words out with difficulty, barely managing to speak, but that was all.

Perhaps he had nothing to say in his defense, because he closed his mouth again without offering any argument.

It seemed he wasn't entirely devoid of a conscience.

"You say Father truly loved Mother, so I suppose the atmosphere at home wasn't as cold as it is now while she was alive. I doubt whether Father ever sincerely loved his children even then, but he must at least have pretended to. A considerable amount of time has passed since then, so those memories must remain in your mind even more idealized than they truly were."

I could roughly guess why.

Why Valtraus defended Hard and refused to acknowledge that he was a failure as a father.

"That must be why you feel such tenderness toward Father and pity him. After all, he lost his beloved wife, while you lost your beloved mother. It must have been easy to identify with him. If you pity Father out of the same self-pity you feel for yourself... then I can understand how you feel."

But understanding it did not mean I could accept it.

"So I suppose all of you could get along splendidly, pitying one another while leaving only me out. I wonder whether I realized that before I lost my memories. Ah, but of course you wouldn't know. You never paid enough attention to me."

Even I could tell that my tone was becoming increasingly aggressive.

Had trying to continue this conversation from Karvaldr's perspective caused me to identify with his feelings without realizing it?

Or perhaps I could no longer ignore the fact that he, too, had been ostracized within his own family.

"You may be perfectly capable of sympathizing with and pitying the grief of someone who has lost a loved one. Yet you cannot sympathize in the slightest with the loneliness someone like me might feel after never receiving love even once, despite needing it most at that age. It seems the thought of pitying me never even occurred to you."

It was astonishing that a character like this could be described as "human."

No, perhaps it wasn't. Being so consumed by self-pity that he trivialized another person's suffering was still behavior driven by emotion.

Compared to those who never showed any emotion at all, perhaps he really could be considered quite human.

"Then again, you had someone with whom you could share both your memories of the past and the pain of your loss. Even when you felt Mother's absence, you would never have felt isolated or been consumed by loneliness."

"I... I..."

Only now did his younger brother's circumstances seem to truly sink in.

Judging by the guilt on his face and his inability to offer even an excuse.

"Why are you making that face? It isn't as though I revealed some shocking secret. I merely put into words something you already knew perfectly well."

"......"

When had it started?

When had Valtraus stopped stroking his spirit beast's head and begun clenching his empty hand into a tight fist?

It can't be that he has suddenly started feeling sorry for his brother. Is he beginning to question his own morality?

I was beginning to question things myself.

Namely, whether there was any point in continuing this conversation.

Even if my possessed body's family were tormented by belated guilt and tried to ease it by treating me better, it would only make me uncomfortable and put me in an awkward position.

It seemed best to end the conversation now.

Having reached that conclusion, I placed my hand against the window.

I thought some fresh air might help calm my surge of emotion and cool my heated head.

But my hand never opened the window.

The carriage abruptly jolted so violently that it rattled, then came to a sudden stop.

"W-What is it?"

I heard Valtraus's bewildered voice.

Without sparing him so much as a glance, I flung open the door instead of the window and stepped out of the carriage.

I wondered whether the confession villain had thrown a tantrum at his brother because he didn't want to apologize and somehow overturned the carriage they were riding in.

But what I witnessed the instant I climbed down was far more serious than that.

"Don't tell me... a Demon Realm has appeared."

A vast pitch-black dome now occupied the place where the academy buildings should have stood.

This was my first time seeing a Demon Realm from the outside, but I recognized it at a glance.

I had read its description in 《NaSE》, and so many people in this world had been talking about Demon Realms lately that there was no mistaking it.

"For now, it would be best to return to the family estate and monitor the situation."

Valtraus, who had followed me out of the carriage, spouted that carefree nonsense.

"You can do that if you wish."

"......What do you mean?"

"I mean that I need to go there. On that note, may I borrow one of the horses?"

If I had my way, I would rather have spent this time undoing the harness connecting the horse to the carriage than asking permission.

The problem was that if a complete stranger like me suddenly approached, the horse might panic and run wild.

Moreover, although I had learned to ride during the vacation, I was still inexperienced at handling horses.

The horse would probably only feel safe enough to let me mount if the coachman personally unfastened the harness and handed it over to me.

"What...? What did you just say? You're going inside that pitch-black thing?!"

"You know that despite how it looks from the outside, the inside is nothing like that. You've been caught in a Demon Realm Generation Phenomenon before."

"That is not the issue!"

It seemed Valtraus had no intention of cooperating willingly.

"Have you somehow forgotten that I am an Awakened One?"

"I... know that."

"Then you must also know why I have to go to the academy after it has been swallowed by a Demon Realm."

If I didn't enter the Demon Realm, I would be condemned for failing to fulfill my responsibility as an Awakened One.

On top of that, the place in question was the academy, and I was even a member of the special Awakened class.

Even if Valtraus had summoned me back to the family estate instead of a café in the commercial district near the academy, leaving me completely unaware of the situation, someone would still have held me responsible.

But now I've witnessed the Demon Realm with my own eyes...

And wasn't Fjodora, Her Royal Highness the Princess, inside?

If I took a warp gate back to the family estate under these circumstances, not even a ducal family as prestigious as House Austri would escape consequences.

I personally didn't care whether House Austri incurred the imperial family's wrath, lost its honor, or faced public condemnation.

Valtraus would feel differently... or so I had thought.

"I know that too, but staying alive must come first!"

Apparently, Valtraus was far more of a mama's boy than I had imagined.

To think he was willing to accept the harm it would bring upon the family because he couldn't allow the child Mother had sacrificed herself to bring into the world to die.

"Stop standing there and get back into the carriage."

"No."

"Do you truly wish to die?!"

"I'm sure I told you before that I want to live."

"Then why...?!"

He raised his voice, evidently unable to understand my behavior at all.

But I had my own circumstances to consider.

"Because someone I know... might die in there."

I knew my life was precious too.

Having died once already, I knew how frightening and painful death was.

So I did agree with Valtraus that my own survival should come first, but...

If the story descends into grimdark tragedy, there will be no stopping it.

Escaping this moment alone wouldn't be the end of it.

If I wanted to survive until Senna finally abandoned this story—and if I wanted to avoid suffering—I couldn't allow anyone to die.

More importantly, if I run away alone despite knowing perfectly well that Reisir and the other special-class students are fighting inside the Demon Realm...

Everyone would be disappointed in me and turn their backs on me.

Instead of teasing me for being kind, Reisir would call me heartless and put up a wall between us.

Ríolíkin would leave my side, deciding that he needed to find someone genuinely dependable instead of a coward like me.

Pret would probably draw a line between us and say that his guild had no need for someone without loyalty.

Would Vigdís feel relieved that she had already drawn up the contract to annul our engagement?

Helga would probably click her tongue and say that people truly did not change easily after all.

And outside the world of this novel, the readers of the original work would flood the comments with demands that I be killed off at once.

Once the original author saw that, she would relentlessly try to kill me.

That was why I didn't want to run away—and why running away had never been an option in the first place.

"If you refuse to lend me a horse, I suppose I'll have no choice but to borrow one from House Ofraushi. Their carriage has stopped just ahead of us, after all."

"W-Wait! Stop!"

When I started toward the villain brothers' carriage, Valtraus hurriedly called me back.

He lowered the foot he had placed on the carriage step to the ground again and heaved a deep sigh.

"Laskatl, combat mode."

After ordering his spirit beast to activate 【Gigantification】, he unfastened the whip at his waist, took it in hand, and cracked it through the air.

A familiar sensation seeped into my body—the same one I felt whenever I activated 【Exaltation】.

Valtraus had used that skill.

Its targets were probably himself, me, and his spirit beast, Laskatl.

And the reason he had done so was...

"Get on. This will be much faster than riding a horse."

Apparently, he intended to take me to the academy swallowed by the Demon Realm himself.

And he intended to carry me there on the back of his own spirit beast.