Chapter 67: The price of redemption
AYLA
I was sore and thoroughly fucked that I could hardly move.
When I had asked him to show me how much he cared for me, I did not think it would involve all of the positions he put me in. Right now, I was laying flat on my back while Ares wrapped around my lower half, kissing my navel and tracing the exposed side of my hips.
"I want to take you horse riding." He murmured.
I looked down at him.
"Funny. I thought that was all we were doing all night."
He grinned.
"Are you calling me a horse, Ayla?"
"I don’t know, am I?"
He chuckled at this, his breath warm against my skin.
"You don’t have to worry about riding. You will be with me. I just want to show you someplace that is pretty important to me."
I looked at him. The scar on his cheek caught the pale morning light, and I reached out, tracing it with my fingertip. He caught my hand and pressed a kiss to my palm.
"Fine." I said. "After etiquette class we can go riding."
A knock sounded at the door.
"That will be Astrid." I sighed. "You need to leave."
Ares grumbled something under his breath that sounded like a curse, but he rolled off me with a groan. I watched him rise, butt naked, and felt heat rise in my cheeks despite everything we had done through the night. His body was a map of lean muscle and my eyes followed the line of his spine as he pulled on his shirt and pants.
He caught me looking and smirked.
"Like what you see?"
"Get out." I threw a pillow at him.
He caught it effortlessly, laughing, then crossed the room and pulled the door open.
Astrid stood on the other side, her hand raised to knock again. Her mouth dropped open when she saw Ares.
"Good morning, Astrid." Ares said, his voice smooth as silk.
"My... my lord." She stumbled back a step.
He walked past her without another word, and I watched him go, my heart doing a strange little flip in my chest.
Astrid turned to me, her eyes wide.
"You are..." She stepped into the room, closing the door behind her. "I thought you were mad at him."
"Well." I sat up, pulling the sheet with me. "I was but I am no longer mad."
She stared at me like I had grown a second head.
"Who are you and what have you done to my friend, Ayla?"
I sighed and plopped back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling.
"Ares is..." I searched for the words. "When I am with him, he consumes me. He makes me reckless, makes me feel things that are so..."
"Intense?" Astrid supplied.
"Yes." I turned my head to look at her. "That is the word. Intense."
"But with Cassian?" She pressed.
I thought about Cassian and the way his hands had touched me with such care and reverence.
"Cassian is amazing." I said. "I love being with him. He treats me so kindly and he is most understanding person. He is so different from Ares, but I love the way he makes me feel."
"What about Damon?" Astrid asked pointedly
My expression hardened at the sound of Damon’s name.
"I couldn’t care less about Damon." I told her.
The lie tasted bitter on my tongue.
The truth was I did care. The memory of his lips on mine in the archives room, the feel of his body pressed against me in the dark, the way his voice had gone rough when he asked me if I was okay.
He was my bully and he had almost raped me... how could I still want him?
Maybe because you have forgiven him and he has helped you these past few days, my mind argued.
No!
I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, pushing down my conflicted feelings about Damon. "I need to be at etiquette class. Prepare the bath, Astrid."
"Of course"
...
Etiquette class was unbearable.
Willow sat across from me, her eyes fixed on me with disgust. She had not said a word to me since I walked in, but I could feel her gaze boring into me like a hot brand.
I ignored her.
The teacher droned on about the proper way to greet visiting dignitaries, and I nodded at the appropriate moments but my mind was elsewhere.
On a certain prince I could not stop thinking about no matter how hard I tried.
The class ended, and I gathered my things, eager to escape but Willow’s voice stopped me in my tracks.
"Ares is such a dream."
I turned to see her standing with Celeste and a few other ladies, a smug smile on her face.
"He is the most skillful lover. Last night, he and I could not get enough of each other."
I snorted.
"Is something funny, sister?"
I looked up to see Willow regarding me with narrow eyes.
"As a matter of fact, yes." I turned to face her fully. "You see, you say you were with Ares last night."
"And so?" She inclined her head. "Jealous much? He might be your mate, Ayla, but he can fuck other people." She turned to the other girls. "I mean, Omega pussy cannot be that good."
The girls laughed alongside her and when I joined in, they all fell silent, staring at me like I had lost my mind.
"Is that all you have got, Willow?" I asked. "Come on, you used to do better."
"Why, you little..." She advanced toward me, her face red with fury.
The door to the classroom swung open in that moment and Damon stepped inside.
My heart jumped to my throat.
How was it that he looked this good?
His hair was loose, falling in waves around his face, and his amber eyes swept the room before landing on me. I felt the air leave my lungs as our gazes collided with one another.
Celeste stepped forward.
"Damon, you have been scarce." She traced her finger along his arm.
He tore his eyes away from me and turned to her, a polite smile on his face.
"Yeah, I have been busy."
"Not too busy for me, I hope." She drew closer, her hand sliding down to his wrist.
I looked away from them, my fingers tightened around the strap of my bag.
I did not want to watch him flirt with Celeste or anyone else... I just wanted to leave.
"Ayla." He called out.
I stopped and turned back around.
"Can we talk?"
He withdrew his arm from Celeste clutches causing the smile to drop from her face. She glared at me with such venom but I pointedly ignored her.
"Sure." I said. "We can."
I walked past him, out the door, and I did not stop until I reached the corridor that led to the gardens.
I stopped and turned to face him.
He was fidgeting. I had never seen Damon fidget before. He ran his hand through his hair, then let it drop.
"I wanted us to talk about yesterday." He said.
My pulse jumped.
"What about yesterday?"
"Ayla, come on." He took a step closer. "We kissed. And I... I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it."
I shook my head, backing away.
"Let me stop you there, Damon." My voice was hard as I spoke. "I am grateful that you have kept my secret. I am grateful that you have helped me try to figure it out. But yesterday was a mistake."
"Ayla, what happened with us..."
"Nothing happened with us." I cut him off. " It was a moment of weakness, and I regret it."
"You do not mean that."
"I mean every word." I stepped closer, my eyes blazing. "You spent years making my life a living hell, Damon. You and Willow. You would trip me in the hallways, spill my buckets, mock me in front of the other servants. Do you remember the time you told me I was so pathetic that even the moon goddess would not bother to look at me?"
He flinched like I had struck him.
"And now you expect me to forget all of that because we what? Kissed?"
"I do not expect that. I know it does not erase anything but I have changed, Ayla. I am not the same man who did those things to you."
"But you are." My voice shook. "You are the same man. You tried to force yourself on me, Damon. You pinned me down and pulled my dress up and you would have raped me if Ares had not walked in. That is who you are and that is who you have always been."
He looked like I had driven a blade into his chest. His hands hung at his sides, trembling, and his eyes were bright with something I had never seen in them before.
Pain.
"Ayla..."
"No." I shook my head, backing away from him. "I may not want you dead anymore, Damon but get it into your head right now that I will always look at you and the boy who made my life a misery and I will never, ever forgive you."
Damon stood frozen, his face ashen.
"I understand." His voice was hoarse. "I’m sorry"
He turned away from me and walked away.