Turns Out I'm the Real Monster?!

Jiang Mu tucked Lord Ling’s Xiang Nai’Er silk handkerchief securely away and returned home.

He hadn’t been idle on the way back, trying to channel his Demonic Qi into the silk handkerchief to see if he could upgrade it like he had the cloth doll.

Unfortunately, the silk handkerchief showed no reaction, so he gave up.

’It must just be an exquisite communication-type Magical Artifact, with no room for modification.’

In the courtyard, Bai Xiang was hanging freshly washed clothes out to dry.

The slanting sunlight bathed her in a soft glow, and her simple cloth dress could hardly conceal her transcendent grace.

The picture of purity and serenity.

Even the wind seemed to soften, as if afraid to disturb such beauty.

"Well, I’ll be. What is the world coming to?"

Jiang Mu pointed at the clothes in her hands and teased,

"The Little Fairy of my household is washing my clothes in person? What’s going on? You didn’t slip any poison in there, did you?"

Bai Xiang gave a slight purse of her rosy lips.

’This man. Just when you think he might be a little charming, he always has to say something infuriating.’

"Xiang’Er, your master isn’t one to let you work for free."

Jiang Mu adopted a serious tone. "How about this? From now on, you’ll be in charge of all my laundry. We’ll let that girl Ah Qing focus on her practice.

And if you could help your master scrub his back in the evenings... We can talk about payment. Name your price. I’ll pay whatever you ask. Your master is so poor right now that all I have is money."

Bai Xiang’s eyes curved into crescents as her slender hands signed:

[One back scrub, 10,000 taels of Gold. Deal?]

"..."

Jiang Mu’s smile froze on his face.

’I really want to take a switch and beat that woman’s ass raw!’

"So crass!"

Jiang Mu snorted. Not wanting to waste another breath on the materialistic woman, he clasped his hands behind his back and turned to supervise little Ah Qing’s Pile Skill practice.

The corners of Bai Xiang’s lips quirked upward.

After hanging up the clothes, Bai Xiang washed her hands and slipped into the kitchen to prepare dinner.

She was washing vegetables when a figure suddenly appeared in the doorway like a phantom.

Bai Xiang looked at Jiang Mu in confusion. She assumed he was about to pull his usual reverse of "a gentleman keeps his distance from the kitchen"—after all, he’d been coming in to cause trouble quite often over the past few days.

But to her surprise, Jiang Mu took out a glittering gold ingot and held it out to her.

"Here, a bonus for you. Your master is a man of his word."

An even more peculiar expression crossed Bai Xiang’s face.

"Just take it. Don’t say it’s not enough."

Jiang Mu pressed the gold into her hand before she could argue. His playful expression vanished, and he said seriously,

"There’s one more thing. The seventeenth of this month is my birthday.

I want you to prepare a birthday gift for me. Remember, it has to be a surprise. If you can make your master happy... I’ll prepare a ’surprise gift package’ for you, too."

?

’A birthday celebration?’

’Isn’t he a little young to be making such a big deal out of it?’

Bai Xiang was rendered a little speechless.

Of course, she couldn’t understand what was on Jiang Mu’s mind.

In his past life on Earth, his birthday had fallen on this very date.

He’d been lonely as a child and overworked as an adult. His "birthdays" had usually consisted of a bowl of instant ramen under a single, lonely lamp.

Now, in this strange new world, he found himself looking for any excuse to find a sliver of comfort. And especially here, in a place that was beginning to feel like home, he wanted to leave his mark.

"Remember, a surprise!"

Without waiting for a response, Jiang Mu turned and left, leaving Bai Xiang to stare blankly at the gold ingot in her hand.

"A gift?"

Bai Xiang rubbed her temples, feeling a headache coming on.

’This master of hers... his thoughts jumped around so much it was hard to keep up.’

’Wait...’

’How is his birthday the same day as mine?’

...

Jiang Mu returned to the courtyard. Just as he was about to resume supervising Yuan Ahqing’s Pile Skill, an urgent knock sounded at the gate.

He pulled open the door to find Chu Lingzhu.

The young woman’s face was flushed, and she gasped for breath, leaning against the doorframe.

"The person here for the herbs... has arrived!"

’So soon?’

A sharp glint flashed in Jiang Mu’s eyes. Without even taking a moment to inform Bai Xiang in the kitchen, he grabbed Chu Lingzhu and hurried out. "Let’s go!"

The two of them rushed to the Rejuvenation Pharmacy.

Inside the pharmacy, however, only Chu Dahai was there.

Chu Lingzhu looked around. "Father, where’s the man who came for the herbs?"

"Oh, he just left."

"Left?" Jiang Mu frowned.

"Yes. He said he was going to an inn to retrieve a letter and call a few men to help move the herbs."

Seeing Jiang Mu, Chu Dahai hastily explained,

"Boss, I did my best to delay him, just as you instructed. I deliberately kept him talking, asking all sorts of questions about my old friend’s family and whether the rebellion had affected their business...

But the man didn’t seem to want to say much.

Then I asked if he’d brought a handwritten letter from my old friend. He said he had, but he’d left it at his inn and was going to get it."

Jiang Mu asked in a grave voice, "Are you sure he was the one sent to pick up the herbs?"

"Absolutely."

Chu Dahai nodded firmly. "He was holding the specially made token from our Rejuvenation Pharmacy. The moment he walked in, he asked for the batch of ’Southern Border goods.’ There’s no mistake."

Jiang Mu nodded.

But Chu Lingzhu, standing to the side, found it odd.

"If he came specifically to pick up the herbs, how could he forget the most important letter at the inn? That’s incredibly careless, isn’t it?"

The words were spoken without intention, but the listener took them to heart.

The color suddenly drained from Jiang Mu’s face. "Damn it!"

In a flash, he was rushing toward the herb storeroom in the back courtyard.

The Chus, father and daughter, stood stunned for a moment before hurrying after him.

When they reached the storeroom, they found its main door wide open.

A broken lock lay twisted on the ground.

The corner where the batch of Corpse Orchids had been stacked was now completely empty. Not a single leaf remained.

Jiang Mu took a deep breath, unable to stop himself from cursing.

"Fuck! A thief robbing a thief!"

"H-how could this have happened?"

Chu Dahai looked utterly bewildered.

Jiang Mu rubbed his throbbing temples, suppressing the urge to curse again as he quickly analyzed the situation.

"That man wasn’t sent by your friend. He must have intercepted the message and came to claim the herbs by posing as the real contact.

When you started asking questions, he got scared his cover would be blown. Once he confirmed the herbs were here, he decided to just snatch them and run!"

"But the token..."

"He must have stolen that too!"

Jiang Mu said decisively. "That’s a large quantity of herbs; he can’t have gotten far. I’ll dispatch men immediately to block the nearby streets and search for him!"

"Wait!"

Chu Lingzhu suddenly grabbed his sleeve. "I can help you."

"Don’t get in the way!"

Jiang Mu said impatiently. "The lost herbs have nothing to do with you two. Don’t feel like you need to make up for anything. Just wait at home!"

"But... I really can help!"

Jiang Mu paid her no mind, shrugging her off as he turned to leave.

’He couldn’t stand these cutesy, airheaded girls who try to atone for their mistakes without having any real skills, only to end up making things worse.’

"I put a Shadow-Chasing Cicada in with the herbs! I can track him!"

Chu Lingzhu shouted.

Jiang Mu stopped in his tracks and turned back to the young woman. "A Shadow-Chasing Cicada?"

Chu Lingzhu produced a small wooden box from her robes.

She opened it.

Inside lay a still, greenish cicada.

She explained, "I was worried there might be a problem with the pickup, so I hid a ’child’ cicada in one of the herb bundles. As long as it’s within a three-li radius, the ’mother’ cicada can sense its location."

Jiang Mu stepped forward and patted the young woman’s shoulder.

"Nicely done."

’I knew it. A bright girl like this was bound to have a few tricks up her sleeve.’

...

As the young master of a prestigious and righteous Sect, this was He Shuangying’s first time playing the part of a thief—and a robber, at that.

’Have to admit... it’s pretty thrilling.’

’But what choice did I have? That pharmacy proprietor wasn’t just asking a million questions, he wanted to inspect some letter. He was being far too cautious.’

’Getting the goods through legitimate channels was clearly a lost cause. The only option was to dispense with honor and just take them by force.’

’Besides, the Divine Sword Sect was supposed to be buying this stuff anyway.’

’Now they just had the goods without having paid for them.’

To avoid attracting unwanted attention, He Shuangying followed his plan. He hid the contraband herbs in a horse-drawn carriage and used an official pass from the local yamen to get through the city gates without a hitch.

The city gate guards rarely inspected the contents of a carriage too closely.

But he couldn’t drive the carriage directly to the mountainous region where the Divine Sword Sect was located.

If he was spotted by the wrong person, it would be big trouble.

This wasn’t just a beheading offense. Plenty of factions in the martial world were watching the Divine Sword Sect like tigers stalking their prey. It was best to be cautious.

That’s what his Second Uncle was always telling him.

He Shuangying drove the carriage to Heitu Village.

The village had previously been occupied by a Snake Demon, which the Demon-slaying Bureau had only recently exterminated.

Since the villagers had been consuming "Yama’s Soil" for years, most of them were muddle-headed, so the place was rarely visited.

He Shuangying didn’t enter the village itself, instead stopping the carriage in front of a deserted temple on its outskirts.

Inside the temple, a disciple from the Divine Sword Sect was already waiting.

"Young Master."

When the disciple saw He Shuangying arrive, he hurried forward and bowed.

He Shuangying hopped down from the carriage and said in a low voice,

"Hurry to the Divine Sword Sect and inform Senior Brother Yang. Tell him I have the goods and that he should bring men to rendezvous with me at once."

"Yes, sir!"

The disciple accepted his orders and hurried off.

He Shuangying picked up a waterskin, took a few gulps, and sat on the temple’s threshold to wait.

For some reason, his right eyelid wouldn’t stop twitching.

It twitched so much it made him feel uneasy.

The longer he waited, the more agitated he grew.

Back at the Sect, he could always find some vixens to help him blow off steam when he got agitated, but there were none to be found out here.

Just then, a rustling sound came from up ahead.

He Shuangying raised his hand on instinct.

SHING!

A flash of sword-light shot out.

He walked over to a large tree and looked at the small squirrel pinned to the trunk by its leg.

He was silent for a long time.

He picked up the little squirrel...

’This might work, too.’