Unlimited Machine War

Biquge www.xbiquge.cc, the fastest update of the latest chapters of unlimited machine warfare!Don't let the fans who watch the pirated version of the machine fight in vain, send some jokes to dispel grievances.Change the official chapter in half an hour

1. Xiao Ming is already in his junior year and still has no girlfriend.At the instigation of the buddies in the dormitory, he decided to chase after a long-awaited girl.?

One day, when he saw the girl walking alone in the playground, he followed him. Because he didn't know how to speak, Xiao Ming was very anxious.?

Seeing that the girl went further and further away, he had to pick up something from the ground and chase it up and said, "Miss, did you drop this brick?"

2. Before marriage, he said to me tenderly: marry me, you are a very important part of my life.

After marriage, I asked him: What part of his life am I? He glanced at me and pointed to his six fingers~~~

3. "Do you believe in the saying that'love is eternal'?"

"Of course I believe, but under the premise that the couple is constantly changing."

4. One night the wife couldn't wait to hug her husband: "My dear, I want..." The husband held the newspaper in his hand, and he didn't even glance at his wife.As a result, the wife became angry.

The next day, her husband was reading the newspaper again. She wore a red sexy swimsuit and walked around in front of her, but he still didn't look at her.

On the third day, she put on a blue swimsuit again, and her husband did not even look up.

On the fourth day, the wife stood in front of her husband without wearing anything.At this time, the husband finally raised his head and said: "The day before yesterday, you wore a red swimsuit. It was really beautiful and sexy. Yesterday you wore a blue swimsuit. It was also beautiful. Why is this transparent today? The swimsuit is so wrinkled, it's time to iron it..."

5. A soldier's wife went to visit her husband in the military camp. She happened to meet the soldier practicing guns. He only heard the roar of the guns, and frightened his wife to hide in her husband's arms.So my husband said, "Look, this is the power of a pistol. Go home and let you taste the power of a cannon!"

1. The lawyer's dog ate a piece of meat from the butcher shop owner. The butcher shop owner found the lawyer and asked angrily: "You are a lawyer, then tell me that your dog ate a piece of meat from my shop for 20 yuan. Should you lose money."

Lawyer: "Of course I should. However, as a lawyer, my consultation fee is a minimum of 50 yuan each time. You should pay me another 30 yuan now."

2. The owner of the grain store wanted to hire a guy. On this day, a young man came to apply for the job. The boss asked, "Do you use your fingers to settle accounts?"

The young man answered: "Yes"

Boss: "How do you stretch your fingers for two bags of wheat?"

The young man stretched out a little finger and a ring finger, and said, "That's it."

The boss asked again: "How do you stretch your fingers for two bags of barley?"

The young man stretched out his thumb and index finger, and after a while he stretched out his middle finger.

The boss asked: "Why do you stretch your middle finger?"

The young man replied: "This prevents barley from mixing with wheat."

3. A middle-aged man stood by the counter of the post office and methodically pasted a stamp with the words "love" on the envelope filled with red hearts.Then he took out the perfume bottle and sprayed perfume on the envelope.

A girl couldn't help but step forward.Ask him what he is doing.

"I'm sending out 500 love cards with the signature'Guess who I am'."

The girl asked: "Why is that?"

"I am a divorce lawyer."

4. An old farmer caught some chickens and put them in chicken coops to sell them at the market.He walked on his back for a while.Feeling tired, he thought: "If I let them out and drive to the market, wouldn't it be easy."

So, he released the chicken from the cage, the chicken ran around immediately, he took a stick.He even chased and shouted: "These damn chickens are pitch black in the middle of the night. You can report the morning on time, but in broad daylight you don't know the way."

1. There are seven people in the dormitory whose final exam scores add up to 67, and one person in tm passed!!!

2. Several roommates in the dormitory are chatting about their childhood dreams:

a said that he wanted to be a photographer.But there is no SLR,

b said that I wanted to be a musician but unfortunately I didn’t have a piano.

c drifting by, I wanted to be a scientist, but I had no brains...

3. My head teacher, she especially likes to wear skirts, even in winter.

One day, I asked my roommate: Why doesn’t the head teacher like to wear pants.

He faintly replied: "The sewer must be ventilated."

4. I was in class, and there was a muffled noise, and then I smelled a stinky odor, so I prepared to cover my nose, and said to me at the same table: "I just heard it, hurry, and smell it carefully. This is the original sound of my fart. Version, don’t say that I put it when you smell it."

Matam... I strongly request a seat adjustment!!!

5. The same table asked me: Do you know how fast the speed of light is?

I do not know.

Same table: When you circle a tree at the speed of light, you can stab your asshole

6. The same table is the person who knows you best in the world. He watched you play with your mobile phone in class, watched you cheating on exams, watched you squeeze your acne in the mirror, cried secretly when you were sad, watched A note you write to others quietly, watching you eat something and make your mouth greasy...

So, if you can see him again, find a chance to kill him, he knows too much!

1. In the elevator, a girl was holding something in her hand, and a man asked: What floor are you on?

Girl: The 9th floor.

**Siman: Just press it quickly, a while later!

2. Once I was waiting for me in a good room. I went outside the door and wanted to tease him, so I whispered: 306, the lady you called is here, open the door!

Unexpectedly, the door next door opened, and a man came out and said to me: Come to my side when it's over!

3. Wedding, groom: Actually, after I fell in love with you, I have loved many people...

The audience was in an uproar, and the bride was also shocked.

Seeing this scene, the bridegroom continued with satisfaction: Many people, including your parents, your family, your friends...the audience was applauded.

The bride paused and asked: Does it also include my girlfriends?

4. I bought a pair of trousers online, but the trousers are too big. In order not to waste the money to buy the trousers, I eat it desperately.After half a month, I finally put on my pants, and then I found that I couldn’t wear my previous pants...

5. Being a guest friend, the host invites a meal, covets and greets the wine.Suddenly there is a power outage, and a slight tilt will cause a fart, and feel different, make the hand touch, moisten the touch, and smell: shit!

Suddenly the phone came, embarrassed, painted on the bun, swallowing said: the sauce is good!

1. People with big faces are generally very good-tempered.Because turning a face is really hard for them!

2. I have stored dandruff for a year just to show you a snow.

3. Liu cooperated with the police dog he had raised for many years very tacitly. In less than half an hour, he ate the sauce elbows in the cafeteria without bones.

4. Spring is here, single girls should pack themselves up and travel once, which is called self-married travel.

5. Rose doesn't want to please everyone, so it makes itself full of thorns, so that only those who really want to know it can feel its beauty.

Hedgehog thought so too.However, everyone hates it: it is so ugly, what b?

6. What is your highest level of trust in a person...

"Pharaoh. I'm not here for a few days, please take care of my girlfriend"

7. "What is the most futile thing you have ever done?"

"Undress and stand on the scale."

8. "Do you know why someone who looks ugly has the priority?"

"Why?"

"Because'I said ugly things first.'"

9. Xiao Li, a vegetative person who has been in a coma for many years, suddenly kicked his legs, and his family was at a loss for a while, not knowing whether he was awake or dead.

1. I was sleeping today, and my wife accidentally smashed my head with a mobile phone. Did I say it hurts?

The two said: Why am I distressed if the phone is not broken?!

2. I had a big quarrel with my husband last night.Came to Dayi's mother this morning, her husband: "What's wrong, vomiting blood?"

3. Seeing the pleasant reports on TV, my wife asked me: Why do you men always eat in the bowl and watch the pot!

I thought about it.Replied: Appetite...

4. There was a small piece of green on the back of my wife's hand. When she was mumbling about how the injury was hurt, I ran over to blow and touch, and I gave her some advice: "Next time you hit your husband lightly, otherwise The hand should be hurt again!"

5. After traveling, my wife asked me to make her photo more beautiful...

"Can you make your face thinner", "Take your waist down, and your arms"

I took the trouble to let her go, and after a while she ran back again: "Hey, have you pissed your legs?"

I said impatiently: "P, I'm leg."

After that, she gave me a fierce mouth, "You dare to cheat!"

What kind of routine is this Nima!!!

6. The newly-married husband said to his wife: I'll take care of the uncle tonight and buy you clothes tomorrow!

After five years of marriage, husband: I will take care of you tonight, can we not buy the clothes tomorrow?

After ten years of marriage, husband: You let me go tonight, why don't I buy you clothes tomorrow?

1. Last night my wife cooked the meal, and my daughter said something to my ear. My wife was upset: "Is it right that the meal I cooked is not delicious?"

The daughter immediately said, "No, no, I swear to God, if I say you don’t cook well, I will let... let... let the lollipop fall from the sky!"

2. The four-year-old niece was very naughty. One day, she angered me again. She slapped her little pp twice. This provoke her. She stood alone behind the door and sulked.

My sister went to coax her and said: Would you like your mother to help you out?

At this moment, she raised her head to look at her smug look and I said: Mom, or let's kill the uncle and eat the stew!

3. My son is not good at math. Today, my husband and I laughed at him.

The son was furious and pointed at us like a rainbow and said: Are you two embarrassed?At this age, I bullied a child, 36 and 39, adding up... adding up...

The momentum passed by the wind...

4. I quarreled with my wife, and my wife took the luggage to go back to her natal house.

When I saw it, I sweared by my finger on the bulb: If I make you angry again, I will turn off the light.

Suddenly the light went out, and the scared pants peeed.

I thought I was not so accurate!Suddenly the light came on again.

Then I turned my head and saw my son standing by the switch and said: Dad, is it exciting?

I... (To be continued.)