Yeah, impossible pile of challenges. For now, how to live the day called today, that's the important.

You just want to try going to the library with the feeling of whatever it is for now and somehow break it open and break it through.

But I can only account for the fact that some strange force is acting, which does not progress so easily.

Something, malice or prank, I can't get there for something I can't explain.

If it's true, it should be on already. It's not even that far away.