Chapter 410: Hello Ground!
Figg stared at Belladonna as she worked, the worry only growing into a tighter and tighter knot inside of his heart the longer it went on.
Every mutter, every not-so-sure frown, every time she checked her notes. That was a stab in the heart, and when she had to erase what she was doing and redraw it? He nearly had a panic attack right there and then.
I mean sure, he could die. Dying was not what he was worried about, he had done it plenty in here. In Dawd, Death was an inconvenience at most.
What Figg worried about was not Dying. Literally.
As soon as she put the thought in his head, he could not stop dwelling on the image of being stuck inside of a wall.
It was a complete unknown to him, which meant that his imagination was eager to fill in the blanks. What would it feel like, to be entangled with another object? Would it hurt, and how much? Would he ever be able to get his body out of it or would he be stuck as part of a wall until he died?
What if he couldn’t die?! What if... Somehow, they ended up inside of a wall, with their limbs stuck. No way to escape, no way to kill themselves. Just the horrible existence of some kind of stuffed, ornamental deer unable to ever move again and forced to endure pain for the rest of their lives?
Even if he could log off to escape it, that would mean completely ruining everything he had worked for and developed. Was it even possible to restart at this point? If so, what would happen to his real world development?
Stepping forwards, Figg smiled nervously as he placed a hand gently on Belladonna’s shoulder.
"Hey Bell, Maybe you’re right and this is the best idea. But I don’t mind walking. So what if it takes ages? I’m fine with that, and it’s better to be safe, right? So maybe we don’t need to tel-"
"Finished!" Belladonna shouted, as she made the final stroke of her pen with a dramatic flourish.
"Oh hey, you already know to touch. Alright, let’s do this then.
Etto Veena, Tralocat Inat Veeg. Zoombini!"
"N-no. Wait!" Figg stuttered, as Belladonna clamped her hand on his wrist, making sure they couldn’t be accidentally separated.
He wanted to say more, to try and wrestle himself out of this crazy woman’s iron grip. But in the moment, Figg made the only smart choice he had left. He held his breath.
In an instant their surroundings changed, faster than one could blink they were in the location Belladonna had spent so much effort calculating and plotting out.
As much as he hated to admit it, Belladonna had managed not to get them stuck inside of a wall. In fact there was no walls to get stuck in for miles around. However the reason why Figg hated to admit it, was because of the wind currently rushing past his ears as they plummeted towards the ground.
A ground that was, according to Figg’s very rough calculations, about 25 miles beneath them and was rapidly approaching, ready to give them a warm and splattery greeting.
At the very least, he wasn’t puking. Which gave him plenty of breath to scream in horror.
"AAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!" He screamed as he flailed his arms, flapping them like wings in an attempt to fly.
"Hmm, I don’t understand where I went wrong." He vaguely heard Belladonna mutter from beside him, as the roaring wind was doing its best to steal her voice.
She was plummeting head first beside him, yet she was the complete vision of calm. One hand scratching her chin as she contemplated the paper that was violently flapping in the grasp of her other hand.
She clicked her tongue and shook her head in annoyance, before looking up from her paper and at Figg, who was staring at her with wide and panicked eyes.
"What?"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT? WE’RE GOING TO DIE!"
"Huh? Dude, relax. We still have like a minute before the ground becomes a problem. Besides, you can fly. Just turn into a bird or something." She said with a roll of the eyes.
"Oh... Right... I uh... I forgot about that." Figg muttered, not caring if the wind stole his voice this time. In fact he kinda wanted to hit the ground and splatter from the sheer embarrassment of it all, but that was far too long of a wait.
"Seriously though, Where did I go wrong? I got the distance right, roughly, I got the direction right. I even made sure I had enough mana to survive the trip, but that wouldn’t have put us up here even if it failed.
Sure, I might have put the height element a little higher than zero, but that was just so we wouldn’t appear in a wall. It was nowhere near this high. I just don’t get it..."
"Height Element? There was a height Element and you turned it up?!" Figg screamed, waving his arms dramatically which only caused his body to spin and tumble wildly as he fell.
"Well yeah... Why wouldn’t I? I wanted to appear above the buildings."
"You’re supposed to turn it down! You forgot about the curvature! We’re at the same damned level, it’s the goddamned ground that went down!
You’re not teleporting across a map, you’re teleporting across a world and worlds. are. ROUND!"
"Oh... Oh yeah..." Belladonna laughed nervously, slowly putting away the copy of the scroll she used.
They fell in awkward silence for the next minute, with only the wind roaring in their ears and their own humiliation to keep them company. Each feeling more stupid than the other. All of the danger and the thrill of plummeting head first towards the earth to certain doom, was utterly and completely neutered from their first sky diving experience.
A true shame.
When it came time to finally say Hello to the ground, Figg’s body shrank until he was nothing more than a crow made of woven wood and vibrant green leaves for feathers. This time when he flapped his arms like wings, they actually were and they actually did something to aid his fall.
As for Belladonna, she scooped the cat from her shoulder and tossed it downwards, casting forth her very own pocket monster.
When she flipped herself to be feet first, she landed on a comfortable bed of the transformed Beans’ soft and fluffy fur, as he slowly pulled up to properly douse their momentum.
After such a sudden and violent fall, the trio touched gently down onto the earth, denying it the satisfying splatter it had been waiting for. Figg and Beans transformed back to their natural states, as all three of them took in the new environment they had been transported to.