Watashi wa Teki ni Narimasen!

"... dissatisfied"

You must have guessed with my expression. That's what Isaac said.

"You're a weird guy. Are you risking your life because you're my friend? Man to man, you're still a woman. You know why there are so few women on the battlefield, right? There's no one to follow you, even though you could risk anything but battle."

"I'm a magician."

"You're strong... then I'll tell you that you're not strong"

"What...?

I let go of the hand to which Isaac was connected. He turns his arms around my back with those hands and hugs me.

I can't move my arm at all, no matter where I try to shake it in a hurry. Even though Isaac only uses one hand.

"Look, you can't shake me off... because I don't have as many gaps as that Viscount, do you?

I'll give it to you, grab my jaw with my other hand and turn it up. I glanced softly at Isaac, who looked close.

"Do you surrender?

"Don't"

If I felt like pulling around like this, I wouldn't have come out to war at a time when I was afraid to kill people.

"... I don't know. You said you were overprotective, but I'm starting to feel like I know. This is all disappointing, but I don't care what happens."

What is Isaac saying when he would be doing this with the intention of threatening you?

"Reggies don't do weird things."

"Hmm?"

Isaac's gaze is narrowed.

"It's not funny, let me be a little vigilant."

That's what Isaac says. He brings his face closer.

The moment I remembered being grabbed in the jaw where I pulled myself back to do what, I was mouthed on my cheek.

... I breathed in my heart that if only my cheeks would have been good.

Are you not upset because maybe the Viscount made you think it was better than that, or have you been used to it since before?

"Isaac, stop kidding me"

"What's wrong with cheeks? And I'm not kidding. It's about you anyway, so I just thought you wouldn't know I couldn't be cornered.... shouldn't it be time for you to realize why you followed me to the battlefield, even though you're so weak? It's annoying to watch."

I get a little scared of the word "frustrating".

Isaac didn't do terrible things to me personally. He also helped me from the Viscount. But I still have anxiety that I don't know what will happen if I lose my mood.

"And you're not used to all this?

"To my surprise, I was surprised."

Instead, the anxiety that irritated Isaac is stronger, and I can't wait to worry about you.

"Well, you're used to it. Is he that knight or the prince you cared so much about?

"'Cause you two are like family..."

When I mouth an excused answer somehow, Isaac gives me a sighing look.

"You can't believe in romantic feelings? That's why even my family knows who they are. But to say you're family, you seem scared of being dumped."

Scared of being dumped?

"I'm anxious... because you've never been protected by your family? You said you were lonely all your life."

To Isaac's point, I felt darkened in front of me.

I've never been protected by my family. So whether you want your father or mother, like you did in your previous life, or someone who can take credit for it, you think you're gonna be pushed away one day?

Like my parents in my life right now. Ignored or left behind. Because even though you think you're new to the family, they rule you out after all that you're not family?

I wanted to say that's not true.

"I believe... things"

I believe in Reggie and the others.

You believed me when I couldn't give you anything to trust. He kept believing me after that.

"To some extent, I would, but there is no guarantee that it will last a lifetime. Anyway, the person you believe in has the potential to become a family member with another person, and then something that takes a lot more precedence than you. When that happens, they leave no fake family behind."

Fake family. I couldn't wait to breathe in those words.

"You know that too, so you want something else to keep you from getting dumped. Something more useful than you can throw away, for example. If it helps you as a magician, if you keep protecting it, you'll take care of it even if it opens up some distance."

Isaac, who kept talking, stops the words.

That's how he grabbed his jaw. He let go of his hand and slipped his finger on my cheek.

I wondered why Isaac would do that, but I knew right away.

Because my cheeks got cold in the breeze and I realized I was crying.

... I've been pretending I don't know.

Why you can't wait to tell me you need me. Even if I wanted to deny it, Isaac's words tormented me, like thorns pierced deep into my heart and couldn't get out.

Because I thought his guess was right.

I don't want to be dumped. I don't want to be treated as someone I don't need.

Maybe that's what I think because I have memories of my previous life. I'm scared and anxious to have nothing because I know the happiness of having a family.

But there was no such thing as a kind family in this world. Everyone around us is someone else.

Even if I feel comfortable, I may leave one day just because I'm a friend. Sometimes I don't feel comfortable anymore, and I keep my distance like I did when Alan and I had a fight, but unless I'm family, there's gotta be times when we make up but we leave.

Anxiety about the lack of blood connections may be significant when my stepmother told me that I would kick her out if I didn't work around the time she treated me as a servant.

Reggie noticed that before.

When Reggie refused to protect me with respect for my freedom, I didn't want to lose that guy, but at the same time I felt horrified like I was separated.

When people tell me I don't have to do anything, I get confused.

Then I wonder what to do.

I love everyone, but I can't believe everyone keeps wishing for it the same way... because I couldn't believe it.

But I can't say it in my mouth.

I miss you. I'm scared. So tell me you need me all the time, for God's sake.

If they think it's heavy and they don't like being on their side as friends, they can't be there anymore.

"... you can resent me"

The person who made me cry says that, staring at this one.

"Why..."

Did you say something that would beat me?

I wish you would have left me alone. Without realizing it, even anxiety moved on - until this war was over.

"You'd better resent me.... Keep it up, it won't do you any good"

"resent?"

I felt so crushed Isaac's grey eyes tender than usual.

When it came to resentment, the next moment I wondered why you looked like that, you were drawn to me and blocked my lips.

I felt very realistic on my lips with just a little bit of it.

Give it back to me in a few seconds. I tried to pull him apart, but he couldn't move because he was holding his head and arm back.

At the same time I felt... uncomfortable?

Anyway, this is different, I thought you'd stop, but Isaac won't stop me. Even when I moaned, all that groaning was also drunk.

I remember the moment I was in a hurry that I couldn't escape, when the Viscount held me down.

I hate that I can't resist anything. Scary. But looking for an unwieldy place to be angry...... I stomped on Isaac's foot as I wished.

"No...... Huh!

I regret that it was cloth shoes. I wish I had worn pin heels so tight that the hole seemed to open.

Isaac, with his face off, was in pain.

I'm sorry, but I can't wait to wipe my lips more than that.

"That's not a glimmer, woman..."

While I was saying that, I burst out.

I guess I thought it wouldn't be a big deal. Isaac let go, so I can be held up to Isaac first trying to poke my hand at the stone floor and say, "Whoa, that's a break".

"Let go, I hate Isaac for forcing me to do that!

"I don't care if you don't like it. You hate me more than you hate me."

"How could I resent you? Because I already resent Isaac!

It was this man who tried to kill Mr. Cain. I still don't forgive that.

Because he was just protecting me from the Viscount, and he was nursing me... all in all, there's just a side to it that I don't think there should be a war.

Yet now it just seems like you're personally trying to buy my grudges.

Isaac laughs with pleasure.

"That's fine."

That's how I was put in charge, losing the strength to storm along the way and going back to my room in peace.

Mikhail, who looked at me with regret and bite off my lips, turned his eyes round.

"Hey, why are you making me cry back!?

Mikhail, I was stuck in you. Isaac, but I just answered.

"That's okay. You're on schedule.... If I could take you, I wouldn't do this. We'll talk about the future later."

Then Mikhail gently erased his confused expression.

"I see...... ok"

"I'll take care of it later."

That said Isaac left the room lightly... Mikhail, who confirmed that I was no longer frightened without anyone on my side, also left because I had business to do.

I don't know why anymore.

I wonder what Isaac's intentions were when he did that to get resented. What are you gonna do, piss me off? It just makes you feel stronger about escaping.

"What are you thinking..."

I accidentally slapped my hand on the bunk. Then I ram.

... I still lack health even if my magic is stable.

I can't recover from all this right away when I'm angry.

I was just angry and I rubbed my mouth several times with the back of my hand. It's still a little bit, because I still feel it.

When I remember being kissed, I think I'm going to have tears.

If I hadn't put things with Reggie on the count, I'd be the first to talk to her, but I resent her so much for doing that.

... Yet I still don't get the feeling of hating Isaac.

Even if you hurt someone equally important, and feel hated for Viscount Credias, who threatened you, Isaac can only be angry.

Because the first time I saw you, I thought you'd been helped? Or are you just confused?

Or is it because I thought I could understand Isaac's circumstances?

"No more..."

I don't even know who I am, and I want to get away with it.

I can't do that because if I leave Isaac's side, the Viscount threatens to grab me.

If that happens, it is possible that we will not be able to protect Falgia from the Viscount's manipulative magicians, nor from Isaacs and Salehardo.

Unlike me, who bites at what I can only do standing still, Isaac didn't seem to really care what he did to me.

Even after a vigilant night at the Viscount, he came once to see how things were going.

After laughing with his nose about me full of vigilance, he was dealing with soldiers and knights who came with reports.

There was something very disturbing about the plea inside.

"Mikhail, the samurai, is letting the curse doll go in the hallway in the middle of the night, and I can't get close to this floor. Could you order me to stop it".

"When you look at a demon doll going out in the middle of the night, it's starting to spread in the army, like stumbling on the battlefield or something ominous."

What's a curse doll... you mean a master? What are you doing in the hallway?

My master is safe, and he looks better than anything, but I'm not sure how to behave.

You must have guessed what I was so concerned about, Isaac urging me with an extra look.

"Do you care? I think it's time. Go out in the hallway and have a look."

I didn't like to do what Isaac said, but I also wanted to make sure my master was safe, so I put my face in the hallway.

In the middle of the elongated hallway, with only one candlestick light on, the dim, bright place and the orange unreliable light shake, somewhere horrible...... or so everywhere in this world the hallway is like this.

Mikhail, I saw you crouching all the way down the hall.

"Yes, discharge ~"

When he says so, Mikhail, a master who has left your hand, walks out making noises with Katja Katja.

I saw a soldier just about to come up the stairs, but as soon as I heard the noise, I fled downstairs at first sight.

... Master, what are you really doing?

Eventually the master, who noticed me with my face in the hallway, raised his kacha one hand.

"Oh, my apprentice."

"Master, what's that?

"Because if you don't walk somewhat in the middle of the night, you can't recharge your magic to move? Ihihihihihihi."

I've never heard of such a story, or something made with my magic, there shouldn't be such a Zenmai-like feature.

But just think. I shut up.

Because I thought my master was doing it on purpose.

... I'm not sure why I started it.

Oh, but I was just about to get out of the room thinking I should ask, and I was held up with my hand around my stomach, and the door closed.

"What, no!

I was forced back and dropped off on the bunk.

"For once, that's a hostage. You don't have to get too close."

I know why, but why are you looking down with people's wrists grabbed?

Because they're depriving me of my two-handed freedom, the daytime thing turns my head, and I inadvertently stuffs my breath.

I got scared and stood still, wondering if just moving around would stimulate Isaac.

A while later, Isaac said.

"Listen to what I have to say, okay?... Otherwise, I won't put up with you. Tie him with rope so he can't resist and lock him up. Thanks to the Viscount, he can tell you he's not feeling well for the next fight or so.... If you want to bite your teeth here until I get someone's neck, you should let them go"

I couldn't even nod.

Still, I guess I took it as an acceptance to keep my mouth shut. Isaac walked away from me and left the room.

If he decides he's in a state where he doesn't listen, Isaac will do what he just said.

I hate being able to do anything while Falzia is under attack.

So I just put up with it.

I didn't resist, and it was five days later that I waited for that time.

On the day the autumn breeze cooled, an attack was carried out on Fort Riadna, where the Falgian army was present.