Who would study psychology unless they had some issues?!

"Bullying."

This word is kind of interesting; it’s a relatively mild term.

Objectively speaking, conflicts between students during school years are fairly normal. However, discussing toxicity without considering the dosage is irresponsible, just as evaluating an event’s impact on someone without understanding the specifics of the process is equally irresponsible.

Jie Nianzhou avoided going into the specifics of "bullying"; it seems this isn’t the focus for him.

He skipped directly to the conclusion.

"In the end...there was one time I really couldn’t hold it in any longer, so I shoved the other person." Jie Nianzhou said, "They fell, nothing serious, just a little scrape."

"The other person’s parents reported it to the school, and the teacher also called my dad to the school."

Jie Nianzhou took a deep breath.

"My dad’s way of handling it was—he took me to apologize, paid for some medical expenses, and when we got home, he gave me a beating."

Jie Nianzhou tugged at the corner of his mouth.

Seeing the visitor pause, Nan Zhubin asked, "Then what was your mother’s reaction to this?"

Jie Nianzhou glanced at Nan Zhubin, showing an expression that seemed to say, "You hit the key point."

"My mom... cried once, and for several days afterward, she looked worried."

"She asked me, ’How did you turn out like this?’"

Nan Zhubin nodded slowly, "It seems that compared to your father’s beating, your mother’s reaction concerned you more?"

Jie Nianzhou again showed an expression that seemed to hit a nerve.

"Yes, that’s right. Regarding my dad’s reaction at that time, I’ve almost forgotten it...but my mom, I feel like I can still see her expression from back then."

Nan Zhubin noticed that when Jie Nianzhou said this, his breathing slowed down.

This is a very typical [double blow].

Firstly, the visitor did not receive [support] when facing difficulties in life; secondly, when the visitor finally took substantive action to protect themselves, the behavior itself was completely stigmatized.

This is quite a negative connection.

Nan Zhubin did not offer any [empathy] or [support] feedback at this time.

He asked, "When you recall this incident, what feelings do you have?"

Jie Nianzhou hesitated, paused for three breaths: "...Not really anything? It’s just... remembering an event."

The emotional connection was severed.

Nan Zhubin changed the approach: "Let’s not talk about memory then—right now, when you’re telling me about this, what feelings do you have?"

Nan Zhubin emphasized, "It doesn’t necessarily have to be emotional; it could be physical."

This time Jie Nianzhou remained silent for two more breaths.

"Perhaps I feel slightly relieved." Jie Nianzhou said.

"I’ve never talked to anyone about these things, not even my girlfriend; I’ve always dealt with it myself."

"Maybe I actually... haven’t completely processed them?" Jie Nianzhou tugged at the corner of his mouth, "So now, having Teacher Nan listen to me, it feels a bit easier."

Nan Zhubin slightly nodded internally, although it’s not the best outcome, it’s not bad either.

He glanced at the clock on the wall.

Compared to the last session, the visitor’s desire to vent today had slightly decreased—in fact, in typical long-term psychological consultations, the visitor’s strongest desire to vent usually happens during the first meeting.

Plus, now it’s confirmed that it will be long-term, so Nan Zhubin’s [feedback], [psychoeducation], and other aspects need to be suitably extended, and he must start assigning daily tasks to the visitor.

Thinking of this, Nan Zhubin noticed Jie Nianzhou had fallen silent again.

Nan Zhubin adjusted his posture slightly.

"What you just said makes me feel like you possess a certain cognitive pattern."

Even though he said "seems," Nan Zhubin was sure of it internally. He just needed to use some tentative language to express it.

The goal is to encourage the visitor to engage in self-reflection, stabilizing and confirming those parts that feel uncertain.

Nan Zhubin said, "When you express negative emotions, you seem to realize this expression not only doesn’t relieve you but adds an extra burden."

"For example, your mother—you need to calm her anxiety. So gradually, you’ve learned ’not to express.’"

"And maybe even further, to avoid the ’calming others’ anxiety’ step, you made yourself not generate the corresponding emotions."

When emotions stop generating, yet the body has a need to express—what happens?

The answer is—unconscious behavioral changes.

Jie Nianzhou began to scrutinize himself along with Nan Zhubin’s words, nodding after a while: "...Yes. It seems that’s the case."

He looked up, "Is this related to my current problems?"

Without waiting for Nan Zhubin’s response, Jie Nianzhou seemed to confirm something: "Right...it should be related."

"I used to just think this is... like a way of interacting with people, it makes me uncomfortable, but actually, it’s not bad."

Nan Zhubin took over the conversation: "But its harm to you might be deeper and farther-reaching than you think, gradually altering many aspects of you."

Jie Nianzhou thought for two breaths and slowly nodded.

From a professional perspective, Jie Nianzhou’s pattern is also a form of [internalization].

Similar to what Nan Zhubin overheard with the little girl in Director He’s consulting room.

Jie Nianzhou has transformed "others’ demands" into "his own standards," even a kind of "habitual way of living."

But unlike the clinic girl’s pathological [internalization], Jie Nianzhou’s [internalization] isn’t as out of control, yet it has affected his cognitive patterns and even his personality structure based on this abnormal [internalization].