The reason Kim Yoon-sik felt stuffy every morning was because if he didn't put everything down
It's because I've become a strange person.
Things you want to do first, things you want to wear small.
Things you want,
Where you want to go, etc.
It was a world where gender boundaries were crumbling, but it was a strange thing for men to see in skirts.
If Kim Yun-sik had actually done what he wanted to do,
It will probably be titled "Insane beyond the screws."
So Yun Sik Kim unconsciously gave up everything and lived.
Prevent others from looking unusual.
"You care too much about other people's eyes? ’
I got the diagnostic report, and I got a call from the hospital asking me to pick it up.
Half expected, half anxious.
I have something to say to you before I give you my report, so I'll put up a question mark saying, "Stop by."
In the counseling room, the psychiatrist said something that Kim Yoon-sik had not thought of.
“That's why you're under so much stress.
The last time I ran an exam, we talked about things.
I don't think you're even aware of that.
Kim Yoon-sik is worried about me.
And as a doctor, I couldn't help but say a few words. ”
Human beings are social animals, and it is absolutely natural to live with the gaze of others.
That's the only difference.
Sometimes people really don't, but very few do.
And most of those very few are called nerds.
“And Kim Yun-sik is not a weirdo.
Of course, it's natural to care about other people's eyes.
I can't say that no one can do that unless they live in society.
The problem is that Kim Yun-sik doesn't have that self-esteem.
The problem is that it's very severe. ”
Only a few decades ago, the gaze poured out on us was few.
schools, next-door neighbors at best. I could count that number if I wanted to.
But now the times have changed.
SNS flooding into the development of the Internet has expanded our awareness range by expanding our awareness.
“Of course, there are limits. If you don't do SNS, you can say that's it.
If you ask someone who passes by right now, there will be quite a few people who don't do SNS at all.
But how many people live in my country without being influenced by SNS?
People in the hillside valleys who can hardly see a TV, or I'm a natural.
How many people go into the mountains and live off the grid? ”
The psychiatrist drank a cup of cold coffee next to him and said,
“Oh, I'd like to say I took a little detour.
One last thing. Don't blame yourself too much. ”
Being too conscious of others' gaze.
I don't think I've ever done that.
Maybe it was when I thought of the bear.
Another story came to Yoon-sik Kim, who was busy remembering his life.
“Everyone has some sort of SelfServing Bias.
Oh, so if it works, it's my fault, if it doesn't work, it's somebody else's fault, or the ancestors' fault.
I worked very hard to prepare for the exam, and I failed.
The corporation is preparing a project and failing.
The reason the project failed was mostly because of the incompetent team leader.
They often say that they are lacking in understanding.
or the global economic recession at this point. Usually.
No one talks about their hard work or the incompetence of their team members.
Except very few. ”
Failure, success, ambiguity. When a result comes up, most people find the cause.
However, the exploration does not always have a logical basis.
Rather, they tend to pinch specific causes for their psychological stability.
despite the fact that one of the causes works more complex than the other.
“It's called attribution in psychiatry.
And Kim Yun-sik's nobles are twisted with ordinary people.
If it works, it's on me. If it doesn't, it's on me. I don't know if it's appropriate.
Extremely removed.
So from now on, blame someone else. He cares less about people's eyes. ”
Chronic depression.
For Kim Yoon-sik, the two things looked the biggest.
And depression seemed to be treatable if only two things were done.
“Are they all coming out? ”
“A detailed report and a detailed description of the paper are attached for your reference.
You can't know everything, but you can know a lot.
Fortunately, no. ”
I have done several tests over a long period of time, but I am purely curious as to whether I can see all these results.
And the doctor frowned and hesitated as if he had made a mistake in answering the question.
“What's the good news? ”
He said, "I don't think he would ever try to kill himself or kill himself.
So I didn't really talk about medication.
I didn't think it would get any worse.
But to be honest, it's still a close call.
How about a mild medication? ”
.
“Sunwoo?! ”
Kim Yun-sik was different from Sunwoo, but one was similar from one moment to the other.
Giving up.
I started putting down one or two in front of the wall called reality.
stability of life,
Confidence in an uncertain future.
In the pain of getting worse and worse,
Looking at his world that cannot escape.
I've weaved numerous reasons together.
And sometimes I thought about how to die.
But every time I thought of those things, I changed my mind.
Now that we know how to die, it's time to find a way to live.
But I don't want to die.
That doesn't mean life is good.
The more depressed I became, the greater my desire to live.
“Sunwoo! ”
“Oh, yes. Hmm?"
Seo Eun came to her senses and grabbed her shoulder.
Turning around, the atmosphere doesn't look suspicious.
All eyes on the scene are on Sun Woo.
It wasn't that weird being the lead.
All of them had worries or doubts in their eyes.
“It's okay... it's okay? ”
Just when I heard the shout ‘cut!', the atmosphere in the field was loving.
The camera worked once and one shot was over.
Two minutes, three minutes, five minutes.
Nevertheless, there was a smooth flow without NG1.
It's not the highlight of Sunwoo.
The Long Take technique, which I started filming and first demonstrated, was enough to impress the site.
Director Yoo Kangjin and Director Kim Seung-wall did not hide their happy smiles.
They wanted to get as factual as possible out of this drama.
By maximizing the psychology of Kim Yoon-sik I just showed, I will assimilate people.
And it's gonna lead to the illusion that this is really happening.
But the joy was brief.
After the sound of the 'cut’, Seongwoo's blank expression did not disappear.
I can't break up because I'm obsessed with the role.
I showed it from the beginning, so I thought about it not too much for a while.
5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes……. The scene where the strange silence had broken the silence that ruled was staggered and collapsed.
Then Seo Eun hurriedly ran away.
“Water, water, please. ”
“Here you go. ”
Sunwoo unconsciously reached out to Kang Tae-hyun who didn't even know when he was here, grabbed the water bottle and swiftly inhaled it, and made a bitter smile.
I think it's hard to deal with observation.
“It's okay, don't worry too much. I just kind of fell in love with it. ”
To keep an eye on the psychology and emotions of the role.
Keeping a distance was not an easy task.
Unlike just being immersed in it and feeling it, I had to control myself.
It has become more difficult over time.
Hang on to the borders so you don't pick up the NGs.
But emotions are as objective as they can be, and we look at memories.
Just by consciously controlling your sense of self.
Perhaps it would have been easier in the flesh.
And the cost of that was that it was difficult to get out of the observation immediately, even when you heard the scream cut.
“Really?"
“Really. Just rest a little, and you'll be fine. ”
Seeing that the wall is too firm beyond the right mind, it took me a while to break it down.
Kim Yoon-sik slowly disappears with a ‘cut’ sound.
And the self that needs to be found.
The sights in the meantime were puzzling.
It's like looking at the world through a comic book.
And when I put all the scattered colors back together, it only took a little longer than usual.
“I'm a little dizzy, Taehyun. I'm sorry. I need a boost. ”
The consciousness returned, but the senses were still distorted.
It is still difficult to balance the body.
Probably because he didn't accept Kim Yoon-sik's senses.
People's senses are different.
I move my arms, I stretch my legs.
Similar, but slightly different from person to person
Originally, we accept Kim Yoon-sik's senses through observation.
By splicing your own senses, you've immediately awakened your senses.
This time, I minimized that and left a crumbling, detached body.
Maybe time will solve it. It won't take long either.
“Are you sure you're okay? ”
Concerns surrounding you.
Chosun knew the cause and the problem of why he became like this, but not others.
The problem seemed pretty big to me that it was the uniqueness of genius.
“Really. I just got dizzy for a second. ”
What should I do?
I don't think we're in the mood to continue filming today.
Practice is needed to address observations further.
And this is going to happen a few more times.
Every time I do that, I get a worried look.
This is gonna get messy.
“Sunwoo, let's go in today.
We can shoot a scene where Sunwoo doesn't come out.
Don't worry about anything else. ”
Director Kangjin also came to me with a serious look.
I knew that the method of acting was a method.
It's always creepy because of the quality of the act, but I've never seen anything like it.
It's hard to keep up.
It didn't seem like a normal problem.
“No, it's just... It happened because I was so caught up in the role.
It's in the script, isn't it?
I was so worried about what I heard at the hospital that I almost stumbled and fell.
That's why. ”
“But……. ”
Fortunately, there was something to excuse this scene.
“I'm perfectly fine. ”
“Then Sunwoo is resting in the afternoon.
We're going to have to take another shot anyway.
No matter how important the work is,
People first.
And there's a lot of footage to take of us. ”
It was natural for the lead to be in the lead, but the focus was focused.
However, it was not that Yoon-sik Kim appeared in every scene.
Originally, I would have taken the scene that should be filmed today because I was considerate of the lead actor, Sungwoo.
And he must have gone home first.
Because it takes precedence over everyone else.
“Do you do that? What?”
To be honest, I wanted to experience this feeling again.
I think I can find a balance of distance between observation and observation faster.
However, Seo Eun Kim could not help but look away from the shaking of her eyes.
The emotion conveyed through the ability to feel the atmosphere is too straightforward.
So thick.
“Yes, I understand. So.”
You can't cry.
I couldn't get the last word out.
I think that would really make a splashy drop.
127/128