American Adventure: My Uncle is Don Quixote

"What is all this?"

When Li Wei got home, he was surprised to find the living room filled with boxes of all shapes and sizes.

At first, he thought Don Quixote or Lily had ordered something from Amazon, but a second glance at the various luxury brand logos on the boxes made him dismiss the idea.

Just then, his ears twitched. He heard the faint sound of splashing water and Anya humming a song from upstairs.

’Anya’s taking a bath?’

Li Wei was a bit surprised. ’She must be back early.’

He tiptoed upstairs and listened closely. Sure enough, it was Anya, soaking in the tub in his master bathroom suite and singing some random, nonsensical song.

The door to Li Wei’s master bedroom had a fingerprint and password lock; only Li Wei and Anya had access.

As soon as Li Wei entered the master bathroom, he saw steam filling the spacious room. Taking a breath, he could smell the fragrance of some expensive essential oil mixed with Damask rose drifting in the air.

Anya was lounging lazily against the edge of the tub. A thick layer of fine bubbles, like a soft cloud, covered half the water’s surface, making her skin look even fairer in comparison.

Beneath the translucent surface of the water, Li Wei saw an impossibly slender waist above an almost exaggeratedly full, astonishing waist-to-hip ratio. Her straight legs, so pale they seemed to glow, were crossed casually underwater, reflecting a dazzling gleam as the water shifted.

Hearing the door open, Anya’s enchanting gray-blue eyes immediately turned toward the sound.

When she saw Li Wei, who had stripped off his clothes to reveal the perfect muscular lines of an Ancient Greek statue, there wasn’t a trace of shyness on her face. The laziness in her eyes was instantly replaced by delighted surprise.

"You’re back?" Anya said, patting the surface of the water. "Come on, join me for a soak?"

Li Wei didn’t refuse. With a long stride, he stepped into the large bathtub.

The once-calm water immediately spilled over the edge with a soft SPLASH as the temperature-controlled stream enveloped his muscles.

But hotter than the water was Anya. She pushed the bubbles aside, clearing a path through the water, and expertly glided to his side like a mermaid patrolling her territory.

She draped her soft, supple arm over Li Wei’s shoulder and nestled naturally into his embrace.

Resting against him, Anya gently kissed his collarbone, his shoulder, and his earlobe. Then, she took a contented sniff of his skin and let out a satisfied sigh.

"Those boxes downstairs..." Li Wei shifted his position to let Anya lie more comfortably. "Anyone who didn’t know better would think you brought the entire fashion show back with you."

"How do you know I didn’t?" Anya chuckled, speaking in a lazy tone. "This season’s shows were boring. It feels like the designers have been brainwashed by so-called environmentalism and human rights. Did you see the video I sent you of the Balenciaga show? It was just so weird. The designers are completely out of touch with people now."

The two chatted casually in the water.

"Yeah, of course," Li Wei said. "Of course I watched it."

"No, you didn’t," Anya said, smelling the lie on his breath. She turned to stare at him. "You didn’t even click on it, did you?"

"I did watch it," Li Wei said without batting an eye. "I clicked on all of them."

In fact, he hadn’t.

"Then what shape was the bracelet I sent you a picture of?"

"Hmm..." Li Wei thought carefully. "A snake?"

"That’s Bulgari," Anya said. "What was the Balenciaga one like?"

Beneath the surface, an undercurrent began to stir.

Li Wei could feel Anya’s small hand glide over his abs, then continue its exploration downward.

The water began to swirl, scattering the foam floating on the surface.

"Umm..."

"So, tell me," Anya said with a mischievous smile, "what was the Balenciaga bracelet like?"

While she asked with a seemingly deadpan expression, her soft little hand was like a playful fish, swimming and hovering over Li Wei’s "sea coral."

"Is this how you want me to talk?" Li Wei asked. "Is this an interrogation?"

"No," Anya said. "This is a punishment."

"A punishment for getting it wrong?" Li Wei asked. "Is there a reward for getting it right?"

"Of course," Anya said, the "fish" moving faster. "Assuming you can answer correctly."

"It’s a roll of clear tape," Li Wei said with a smile, looking into her playful gray-blue eyes. "They didn’t even do anything special to the edges. Just a regular roll of tape with the Balenciaga logo printed on it, right?"

Anya froze. Beneath the water, the little hand that had been stirring up trouble instinctively paused for half a second.

"How did you know?" Anya’s eyes went wide. "I thought you didn’t watch it?"

"Who said I didn’t?" Li Wei chuckled.

In truth, he hadn’t. But the topic had gone viral, and he happened to see the bizarre trending topic that the entire internet was mocking while scrolling through Twitter earlier.

"Since you got to ask me a question," Li Wei said, "now it’s my turn to ask you."

Before Anya could react, the situation under the water was instantly reversed.

Same place, but the roles of offense and defense had been switched.

Anya’s face slowly turned red. Her whole body went soft, and she half-sprawled on top of Li Wei like a limp little kitten.

"Hah... hah..." Anya panted. "Go ahead and ask... I bet I can answer it."

"Excellent," Li Wei said, staring at her succulent and alluring face. "You said you watched my whole game against the Washington Commanders last week, right? That long-pass touchdown I made in the third quarter—how many yards was it?"

The confidence on Anya’s face instantly froze.

She had watched it, but only the beginning and the end. In the middle, she had been busy picking out gifts for Li Wei.

"Thirty yards?" she ventured, throwing out a number. Seeing Li Wei’s impassive expression, she immediately put on a cute face, trying to charm her way out of it. "Fifty! Fifty-five—ah!"

She yelped and threw her arms around Li Wei’s neck, giving him a light bite. "How could you—you can’t squeeze there... That’s a foul!"

"Unfortunately, you’re wrong," Li Wei said with a smile. "It was sixty-five yards. If you’d watched the middle of the game, you couldn’t possibly have forgotten. The commentators hyped me up for a full five minutes."

"I can hype you up too—I was wrong," Anya said between gasps. "I was really wrong. I shouldn’t have lied and said I watched the whole thing. I only saw the beginning and the end."

"Wrong answers get punished," Li Wei said, giving her no room to negotiate.

Before the words were even out of his mouth, he exerted a bit of force. With a huge splash of water, Li Wei stood up, lifting Anya clean out of the tub and into the air.

Anya cried out in surprise, instinctively wrapping her straight legs around Li Wei’s waist.

Droplets of water streamed down her smooth, fair back and over her dramatic hip-to-waist curve, hitting the water below with a DRIP, DRIP sound.

"What are you doing?" Anya asked, looking down at Li Wei from her high perch in his arms.

A flicker of panic crossed her eyes, but it was overshadowed by a thrill and excitement born from being completely dominated by immense strength.

"I said there’d be a punishment," Li Wei said, cupping her round, firm bottom as he strode out of the tub and onto the non-slip rug. "Considering you got three answers wrong, today’s punishment might be a bit long."

...

「An hour and a half later.」

Anya didn’t want to move a single muscle. She was sprawled out like a starfish on the wide, soft bed.

She could only remember the battlefield starting at the mirror in the bathroom, moving to the empty kitchen and living room, and finally ending back in the bedroom.

Her feet hadn’t touched the ground the entire time.

Sometimes she really wondered if Li Wei was even human.

And for some reason, the frequency and speed at which she climaxed were much faster than when she had first been with Li Wei.

’I’m really going to die if this keeps up,’ she thought silently, touching her stomach.

"From now on, um... when I’m not around," she said, looking tentatively at Li Wei beside her, "maybe you should take care of yourself first. Or, I wouldn’t mind if you found another woman to... relieve yourself with. I really don’t think I can handle it all by myself."

"What are you talking about?" Li Wei said. "I have faith in you. You can handle it."

"I really can’t," Anya said, quickly pushing his face away as he started to lean in again. "Oh, right! I bought you some things downstairs, clothes and stuff. Go try them on so I can see—"

Li Wei came back up carrying bags big and small.

"What’s this?" he asked, pointing to the largest box. "A trunk?"

"Something like that," Anya said, rolling over onto her stomach. "Open it and see."

Li Wei opened it and found a custom away-game equipment case.

"That’s a bespoke hardcover case from the Goyard flagship store in Paris," she said, watching with great interest as Li Wei fiddled with the equipment case. "I asked you for pictures of your helmet and pads just for this. The customization and handcrafting alone took a week, or else I would have been back much sooner."

Her gaze swept over Li Wei’s muscular back before settling back on the equipment case.

After all, she was in "post-nut clarity" mode now; she no longer had any of those worldly desires.

"And I even had them leave a spot for your watch," Anya said. "So? Do you like it?"

She pointed to the other bags he had brought up. "There are also suits, underwear, socks, T-shirts, and so on. I bought you a few sets of anything I saw that looked good. I’m exhausted, so you can put it all away yourself when you have time."

Li Wei looked at the clothes, which added up to at least several hundred thousand USD, and the priceless equipment case. A warm feeling washed over him.

"Thank you. I love it," Li Wei said. "By the way, I brought you a gift, too."

He brought out the 25-centimeter diamond-clasp Kelly bag made of Himalayan Niloticus crocodile leather that he had bought from Lady Delores.

"Wow," Anya said, taking the bag as a unique glint flashed in her eyes. "I love this bag! I don’t have this one yet!"

"I’m glad you like it," Li Wei said, lying down next to her. "By the way, I’m hosting a party this weekend—"

Li Wei told Anya about his considerations and what he was planning to do.

"How could something like that happen!" Anya said indignantly. "What a load of bullshit, this Skull and Bones Society."

"As it happens, I have some business with her too," she said after thinking for a moment. "I’ll go with you then."