American Adventure: My Uncle is Don Quixote

"Oh, yes, yes, yes," Li Wei immediately put on a smile. "You’re absolutely right, Knight Don Quixote. I have indeed been searching for a Magic Potion lately."

’Whatever,’ Li Wei thought. ’Even though I don’t know what this Magic Potion does, if it’s from the system, it’s got to be something amazing.’

"Alas, ever since you told me you wished to pursue the traces of ancient Magic and find a Magic Potion of old," Don Quixote lamented, "I have spent a great deal of time searching. As you know, ancient Magic is exceedingly rare these days."

"I once set foot in the ancient holy land, but it has now turned into a pile of rubble," Don Quixote said. "It was once a grave sin to enter uninvited, but the offended ancient gods no longer show their wrath."

"The wind beyond the stone array told me that there is no such thing as ancient Magic anymore, nor is there anything sacred left," he sighed, then continued, "Afterward, I went to the Wizard’s Tower. You know I’ve never gotten along with them."

’No, I don’t know that,’ Li Wei thought silently.

But he didn’t interrupt Don Quixote. He just kept listening quietly as the man described a bizarre and fantastical world.

"A red-robed Mage told me that perhaps an Alchemist in the Royal City might still have some clues," he said. "But I don’t know any more than that. This is the extent of my knowledge."

As he spoke, he sighed. "Many Knights, and even Wizards who study Spells, are beginning to doubt whether the ancient Magic ever truly existed. Rings that can store items... Magic Potions that contain Magic Power... they’re all too rare now. Ever since that great war, magical items have become a rarity."

Li Wei nodded.

’I misjudged the system.’

’I’d thought the system was being stingy, only giving me a [Ring of All Things Smooth] after a whole year. I thought it was looking down on me. So, in the system’s story timeline, is the world in a transitional period between the Middle Ages and a fantasy world, gradually heading towards an End of the Dharma Era?’

Don Quixote muttered something about how the current Arrays were all thousands of years old with no innovation, how the Royal City’s Magic Array was a relic, and how the people at the Wizard’s Tower just stood by and watched the common folk die. He rambled on like this while staggering around the room.

Li Wei watched as Don Quixote, despite having his eyes closed, navigated skillfully to the refrigerator, opened the door, and pulled out a bottle of water. Shaking his head, Li Wei turned his attention back to the so-called quest series.

[You have received the series quest: Ancient Magic Potion]

[Since the Abyssal War destroyed the continent’s magic leylines hundreds of years ago, the world has irreversibly declined into the End of the Dharma Era. Ancient Magic Potions with all their incredible effects have long since vanished. Although some claim their ancestors preserved the formulas, the raw materials to create them are nowhere to be found. The resources now monopolized by the high-tower Wizards and the royal nobles are nothing but low-potency, defective products.]

[However, a secret clue brought back by Don Quixote indicates that within the rigidly stratified Royal City, a renegade Alchemist is attempting to reverse-engineer the glory of ancient Magic Potions using a brand new system.]

[Phase One Mission: Travel to the Royal City and find this hidden Alchemist.]

[Phase One Reward: Free Attribute Points +0.1]

[Final Mission Reward: Ancient Magic Potion x1]

Li Wei marveled at the quest that appeared in his vision. ’Does this mean the system unlocks more things as my attributes increase?’

Li Wei was fully aware that Uncle Don Quixote’s dreams were projections connected to reality, but he still hadn’t figured out who this so-called Alchemist was.

’If the Royal City is New York,’ Li Wei thought, ’could the hidden Alchemist be a drug dealer hiding in the sewers?’ He quickly dismissed the idea.

’This dream and quest probably appeared because I mentioned sports drink brands before Don Quixote went to sleep. It shouldn’t have anything to do with drug dealers.’

’Wait, maybe not... If I add a little ’ice’ to the drink formula... No, that’s too depraved and inhumane. Can’t do it.’

’Still, I should probably start meeting more people. Maybe some of them can trigger clues related to this so-called Alchemist.’

As Li Wei was thinking, he suddenly heard the door to Lily’s room open.

Lily came out, rubbing her eyes and holding her phone.

"Good evening," she mumbled. "Is my dad having an episode again?"

Li Wei watched Lily deftly maneuver past Don Quixote, also open the refrigerator, pull open the freezer compartment, and take out a carton of ice cream.

The calico Ragdoll she had picked up before followed behind her, looking at her with pleading eyes.

"Oh, don’t look at me like that, Bubu," Lily mumbled. "You’re already getting as fat as a pig."

"Mrow!"

"You’ve known about this the whole time?" Li Wei asked in surprise, pointing at Don Quixote who was walking aimlessly around the room. "I thought—"

"SLURP—You thought I didn’t know?" Lily took a lick of her ice cream and shivered in satisfaction. "Whoo-hoo-hoo~ Hee hee, it’s an old habit of his."

"When I first moved in, I got up one night to use the bathroom and he scared the hell out of me," she shrugged. "But then I realized that as long as I don’t talk to him, he goes back to his room on his own after about half an hour, so I just let him be."

"I’ve asked a doctor," Li Wei said. "It’s nothing serious. As long as it doesn’t affect his life, it’s best to just let it be."

"I think so too," Lily said, finishing her ice cream with satisfaction. "Otherwise, how could I sneak ice cream every night? Good night, Li Wei."

"Good night."

That weekend, Li Wei made full use of the annual private jet service John Mara had purchased for him. He flew on a Gulfstream from New York’s Kennedy Airport to Los Angeles to prepare for the game against the Rams.

Perhaps because Los Angeles was home to Hollywood, the city of stars and dreams, and blessed with a perennially warm, dry climate, its fan culture was much more intense than New York’s.

In this city of no secrets—only spotlights and a culture of "amusing ourselves to death"—everything was magnified tenfold, including the fans’ fanaticism.

After Li Wei’s plane landed, he met up with the main contingent of the Giants and boarded the team bus with them.

However, just as they left the airport expressway, they were brought to a dead stop by an impenetrable jam of people and cars.

On both sides of the road were crazed fans holding Giants flags and pictures of players’ faces (the vast majority being Li Wei’s).

The bus was like a lone boat, moving at a snail’s pace through the crowded sea of people.

"Li Wei! Over here!"

"Sign an autograph! Please!"

When the bus finally arrived at their hotel, security guards formed a three-layer human wall to barely carve out a path for the team. The moment Li Wei appeared, the roar of the crowd instantly jumped several decibels.

"We never had a scene this big when we played away games before," a player said smugly. "Are more people watching the NFL now?"

"In your dreams," Dexter Lawrence shot back mercilessly. "Didn’t you notice how many young female fans there are, and that they’re all holding signs for Li Wei? It’s just that Li Wei has a lot of fans."

The group walked towards the hotel lobby surrounded by security. Suddenly, a blonde bombshell in the front row let out a startling shriek.

"Look here! Li Wei, look over here!"

However, when she saw Li Wei wasn’t responding, she did something to grab his attention. She yanked down her top, shamelessly revealing her bra and causing a wild commotion.

Amid the camera shutters and whistles, the girl puffed out her chest, showing Li Wei and everyone else her bra. In the cleavage between her breasts was a realistic portrait of Li Wei in his helmet, ready to throw a pass, tattooed in an extremely eye-catching spot.

"Look! I got this tattooed for you! I love you! I’ll always support you!"

Even Li Wei couldn’t help but twitch his lips at this scene. He quickly waved to the crowd and then ducked into the hotel entrance without looking back.

The next day, the game between the Los Angeles Rams and the New York Giants concluded.

For leading his Knight Legion to victory over the Highland Dwarf Legion, Li Wei once again received 0.1 free attribute points.

At the same time, in this game, Li Wei once again set a new record—the NFL game with the highest number of female spectators in history, with women making up almost 48% of the live audience.

On the way back to the hotel, Li Wei casually opened his Instagram and found that his DMs were full of messages from accounts with blue checkmarks.

Local Los Angeles influencers, minor socialites, aspiring Hollywood actresses... It was as if they had all coordinated to slide into Li Wei’s DMs.

For now, however, Li Wei had no sexual interest in these obscure actresses, who he assumed had slept with countless men already.

Besides, they were only after Li Wei to leech off his fame and then use it for publicity.

Like the other players, Li Wei flew back to New York that night.

In the week after returning to New York, Li Wei and Don Quixote were both busy with their own affairs.

Li Wei himself was busy sending invitations to people he knew and didn’t know for a cocktail party that weekend. Meanwhile, Don Quixote and Chen Haisheng had hired an event planner specializing in high-end parties and banquets and were supervising the setup progress every day.

"What’s this? Only five straight wins and you’re already preparing to throw a victory party?"

One day midweek, John Mara laughed heartily and teased Li Wei after receiving his call.

"But that’s fine too," his mood was clearly excellent. "If we keep going at this rate, we only need to win six more games to lock in a playoff spot."

"So you’re saying..."

"Do it!" John Mara said. "And I’m going to bring an old friend for you to meet."

"Who?"

"The owner of the New York Jets, patriarch of the Johnson Family," John Mara said smugly. "Woody Johnson. The Jets used to have a better record than my team, and boy did he love to lord it over me. Fuck, this time I’m really going to rub it in his face."