Chapter 1000: Bonked
Chapter 1000 – Bonked
For one breath, no one moved.
Then Lux inhaled.
"Okay," he said, voice rough. "First things first..."
He lifted one hand and clapped twice.
The sound echoed through the mansion.
A second later, Lyra appeared.
As if she had been waiting just outside reality with a servant’s terrifying sixth sense.
She wore her usual composed expression, black-and-white uniform immaculate, hair neat, posture flawless. Her eyes swept across the group in one professional glance.
Wounded master, exhausted women, ancient naked elf, blood, ash, portal residue, demonic trace masking, emotional disaster.
She did not blink.
"Welcome back, Master Lux." Lyra bowed politely toward Aela. "Welcome, honored guest."
Aela looked at her, then at Lux. "You command this realm?"
Lux opened his mouth.
Sira cut in, "He commands too much of it."
Lux ignored her with effort. "Lyra. Clothes."
Lyra’s gaze shifted toward Aela.
Aela did not understand at first.
Then she looked down.
Her body was bare.
The bark had held her for centuries. Her old garments had been consumed by roots, time, shrine magic, and the unpleasant efficiency of being sealed inside a tree. Only faint silver-green markings remained across her skin where bark had grown over her. Her hair covered part of her body, but not enough by any modern standard.
She looked back up at Lux.
Lux, despite being pale, wounded, exhausted, and clearly one wrong movement away from becoming floor decoration, kept his face astonishingly serious.
"A simple one," he said. "Soft fabric. Nothing tight. Nothing with complicated fasteners. She just escaped a tree. We’re not starting with buttons."
Lux added, deadpan, "Also, make it fast. If she doesn’t cover up soon, I will get horny."
The room went silent.
Ely’s face turned red immediately.
Yue closed her eyes very slowly.
Sira stared at Lux like she was deciding whether to kiss him, kill him, or write that sentence down for future blackmail.
Aela looked at him. "So you do feel that way."
Lux gave her a tired look. "I can." His voice was rough, but still annoyingly composed. "But that doesn’t mean I will. I—ow, ow, ow."
He tried to straighten as if dignity was still available for purchase, but pain shot through his abdomen and core so sharply his body folded halfway. Sira’s grip tightened around him before he could fall.
"Idiot," she hissed.
"I was making an ethical clarification."
Sira looked at Lyra. "Lyra, get his clean clothes too."
Lyra bowed. "Immediately."
Lux blinked. "Wait. Why do I need clothes?"
Sira’s smile appeared.
Slowly.
Lux disliked it immediately.
There was a crazy glint in her eyes now. Not battle-crazy. Worse. Sira said, "I need to bathe him after this."
Lux’s soul became alert.
He cringed. "Why do I feel it’s not going to be a simple bath?"
Sira’s smile sharpened. "Because it won’t."
Gula made an interested sound.
Ely’s blush deepened. "Sira..."
Yue said quietly, "He does need cleansing and treatment."
Lux gave Yue a betrayed look. "You too?"
Yue’s expression was calm. "Medical necessity."
"Your face says amusement."
"It can be both."
Aela watched them all with increasing confusion. "You are going to bathe a wounded male demon as punishment?"
Sira answered without hesitation. "Yes."
Lux muttered, "This household has no law."
"It has me," Sira said.
"That supports my statement."
Lyra returned with almost impossible speed, carrying two folded sets of clothing. One was a simple pale robe for Aela, soft and loose, with a sash that could be tied easily. The other was clean clothing for Lux, dark fabric folded with frightening neatness. She also carried towels, a basin, and what looked suspiciously like medical supplies.
Lux stared. "You had that prepared."
Lyra smiled politely. "Master returns damaged often."
Aela turned to him. "Often?"
Lux’s eyes slid away. "Context matters."
Sira said, "Often."
Gula added, "Very often."
Yue said nothing, which somehow condemned him more.
Ely gently took the robe from Lyra and brought it to Aela. "Here. This should be comfortable."
Aela looked at the robe, then at Ely. She took it. "Thank you, my child."
Ely’s face softened, eyes suddenly shimmering. "You don’t have to call me that if it feels strange."
Aela studied her. "It does feel strange."
Ely nodded quickly, almost embarrassed. "Right. Sorry."
Aela continued, "But not unpleasant."
Ely went still.
Then smiled.
Small.
Careful.
Aela slipped into the robe with Ely’s help. The fabric settled around her body, light against skin that had known only bark and seal pressure for too long. She touched the sleeve, frowning faintly at how soft it was.
Lux watched for half a second too long, then deliberately looked away.
Sira noticed. "Ethical clarification?" she asked sweetly.
Lux stared at the ceiling. "I’m injured. I still can get horny," he said weakly. "But that doesn’t mean I can act on it. I can barely move. If I get horny now, I’ll just suffer all night like an injured incubus with no legal escape route."
"I know~" Sira’s smile became more dangerous. "Lulla."
Lux immediately looked toward Lullaby.
Lullaby, who had been hugging her pillow-hammer and watching everything with sleepy innocence, looked up and raised her pillow-hammer.
Very gently.
Her eyes curved into an innocent smile.
"Good night."
Lux’s expression changed. "Wait—"
-Bonk!
The pillow-hammer tapped his head.
Not hard.
Honestly, it was barely a touch.
But Sloth magic slipped through the contact like warm fog poured into his skull. Lux’s body, already exhausted, wounded, core-strained, and running on pure arrogance, immediately betrayed him.
His eyes widened for one insulted second. "Traitor..."
Then his knees buckled.
Sira caught him smoothly, already prepared.
Lux tried to say something else. Probably a complaint. Maybe a threat. Maybe an extremely eloquent objection about bodily autonomy and unfair sleepy weapon usage.
What came out was, "Mmmgh."
His head dropped against Sira’s shoulder.
His battle form flickered away fully. Horns fading. Wings dissolving into shadow. Tail vanishing last with a faint twitch of protest.
Sira adjusted him in her arms, satisfied. "There."
Gula leaned closer and waved a hand in front of Lux’s face. "He’s really out?"
Lullaby nodded, hugging her hammer. "Tired demon sleeps."
Yue looked at Lux’s pale face. "He needed it."