Chapter 144. I Refuse to Weaponize Reproduction to Avoid Paperwork (My Salary Still Bad)
The ceremony took place the following morning in the academy’s grand assembly hall. The space was packed to its stone limits, filled with the murmuring crowd of faculty, noble students, and commoner recruits alike.
Sunlight streamed through the high stained glass windows in dusty amber shafts, but William couldn’t appreciate the beauty. His palms were damp, and his heart hammered against his ribs with a frantic rhythm a nervous energy far more disorienting than the cold adrenaline he felt when facing down a monster.
Headmaster Albert stepped onto the raised dais, his lined face bearing the formal, measured gravity that commanded instant silence. The hall fell still, the only sound the faint creak of wooden floorboards underfoot.
"We gather today not merely to observe tradition, but to recognize exceptional courage," Albert began, his voice resonant and carrying to every corner of the hall. "In recent weeks, this academy has faced threats that would have shattered lesser institutions."
"We have seen enemies that walk between the shadows, and we have seen the cost of that conflict."
William kept his gaze fixed on a point just above the crowd, trying to maintain his composure. He could feel the eyes of hundreds on him some curious, some admiring, and others laced with the sharp sting of envy.
"For his exceptional service, his unwavering tactical brilliance, and his absolute refusal to yield when the darkness pressed against our very gates," Albert continued, his eyes locking onto William’s with unmistakable respect, "for his dedication to the growth of our students and his critical role in safeguarding both this academy and the city beyond..."
Albert paused for dramatic effect, the silence stretching thin. "I hereby promote Instructor William Wade to the rank of High-Rank Instructor, effective immediately."
The title struck William like a physical blow. For a split second, the hall vanished.
He wasn’t standing on a marble dais; he was back in a dingy room, smelling stale ale and failure. He remembered being the ’Zero Class Instructor,’ the laughingstock, the man who couldn’t hold his own liquor or his own dignity.
He remembered the original William Wade, a man broken by humiliation who had finally sought escape in a bottle that led to an early grave.
’That man is dead,’ William thought fiercely, his jaw tightening. ’I killed him... And I built something better from his ashes.’
Hearing Albert formally strip away the ghost of that old designation felt like the final seal on a tombstone.
The hall erupted. The applause was deafening, a wave of sound that crashed against him.
Scanning the crowd, William found his anchors. Kaela was near the front, whistling so loudly and disrespectfully that a senior instructor nearby shot her a venomous glare.
Lia was clapping with a restrained but unmistakable pride, her eyes bright. Ellie was beaming as if she had won the honor herself, and Clara was already scribbling furiously in her journal, likely documenting the historical significance of the moment.
Then he found Catherine. She stood among the faculty, applauding with a steady, graceful rhythm.
But it was her eyes that held him; they weren’t just congratulating a high-rank instructor, they were looking at the man she loved. The warmth flooding her expression made William’s chest tighten with a fierce, grateful emotion.
...
Later that afternoon, the celebratory noise faded into the quiet dignity of Albert’s private office. The room was a sanctuary of leather-bound books and old parchment, smelling of cedar and ink.
Albert, having shed his ceremonial robes for something more comfortable, poured three measures of a warm, spiced cider from a kettle steaming near the window.
"The celebration was well deserved, but we cannot afford to let our guard down," Albert said abruptly.
The pleasantries evaporated as quickly as the steam from the cups. His face hardened into the mask of a commander.
"The threat from the Hollow Circle is far from extinguished..."
"Corwin’s final words weren’t those of a defeated man, but of a zealot who believes he has merely planted a seed."
William took a slow sip of the cider, the spice burning pleasantly down his throat. "Corwin was dangerous enough alive."
"If he was thinking about something beyond his own death... something about a seal, then we’re looking at a countdown, not a conclusion."
"Precisely," Albert nodded grimly. "I intend to pursue every lead Olivia’s research uncovers."
"Whatever they are planning around that seal, we cannot treat Corwin’s death as the end of the war... We must treat it as the opening gambit."
"We’ll be ready," William promised, his voice dropping into a low, dangerous register. "Whatever they throw at us next, we won’t be caught off guard."
"Good. Because I will need both of you at full capacity," Albert said.
His sharp, perceptive eyes then shifted, softening as they landed on Catherine. "Which brings me to something I wished to discuss privately. Catherine, away from the eyes of the students and the politics of the staff."
He leaned forward, his tone turning personal. "Have you truly found peace? Have you settled the debts you’ve been carrying all these years?"
The question hung in the air, heavy and loaded with history. Catherine didn’t answer immediately.
She took a moment to consider, her fingers finding William’s beneath the mahogany desk. Her grip was warm and certain, a silent tether between them.
"I have," she said finally, her voice carrying an unshakable calm. "For the first time in eight years, the ghosts have stopped screaming..."
"I owe a great deal of that to William."
"He gave me the space to fight my own demons." She paused, a small, defiant smile touching her lips. "Though I’d like to think I did the heavy lifting myself."
William turned his hand over, interlacing his fingers with hers, squeezing gently. "Oh, come on now..."
"You did all the hardest parts yourself, Catherine," he said quietly, his voice thick with sincerity. "I just made sure you didn’t have to face them alone."
Albert studied the two of them for a long moment. The usual sternness of his lined features softened, something warm and genuinely pleased settling into his expression.
But then, something unexpected happened. A faint, uncharacteristic glint of mischief, something almost predatory, crept into his eyes.
"Well," Albert said, leaning back in his chair with the casual air of a man about to spring a trap, "given how inseparable the two of you have clearly become, I suppose I should start preparing the administrative paperwork for your eventual maternity leave, Catherine."
The silence that followed wasn’t just quiet; it was absolute. It was the kind of silence that exists in the split second before an explosion.
William and Catherine both froze mid-motion, their bodies going rigid as if they had been turned to stone by a petrification spell. Their faces mirrored each other perfectly: eyes wide, mouths slightly agape, caught in a shared expression of pure, unadulterated panic.
"That’s—" Catherine started, her voice cracking and climbing three octaves in an instant, sounding less like a Vice Headmaster and more like a startled bird. "Albert! We haven’t--that’s not...!"
"W-we’ve never even discussed we weren’t even—"
"I’m joking, obviously." Albert’s composed, dignified facade finally shattered.
He erupted into open, delighted laughter, clearly savoring the way he had just dismantled their composure. "Though I confess, I hadn’t expected quite that level of synchronized panic from both of you."
"Most impressive, regardless."
William opened his mouth, his brain still struggling to process the whiplash of going from a tender moment of romantic vulnerability to being accused of rapid fire family planning. "With all due respect, Headmaster Albert, that was... you can’t just—"
But Albert was already moving on, his hands already reaching across the desk to hoist an enormous, precariously stacked tower of parchment. It was a mountain of bureaucracy that had clearly been accumulating throughout Catherine’s entire recovery period.
"Speaking of returning fully to your duties," Albert said, his grin widening with malicious satisfaction as he slammed the towering stack directly in front of Catherine with a heavy thwack, "I believe it is well past time you resumed your full responsibilities as Vice Headmaster."
"This is merely the accumulation from this week alone."
Catherine stared at the pile in wordless horror. It wasn’t just paper; it was a monument to administrative suffering.
Each sheet seemed to whisper threats of budget reports, disciplinary hearings, and supply requisitions. Her earlier poise was gone, replaced by the hollow stare of someone who had just been handed a death sentence.
"Perhaps," Albert added, already rising from his chair with the swift, tactical grace of a man making a strategic retreat from a battlefield, "Instructor Wade could assist you in catching up."
"After all, given how invested he’s clearly become in your... well-being."
Before either of them could formulate a coherent retort or a weapon Albert was gone. The door clicked shut behind him with an air of smug, deliberate finality that echoed through the room.
For three seconds, Catherine simply stared at the paperwork. Then, she turned her head slowly toward William.
The horror in her eyes began to shift, melting into something far more calculating. Something dangerously playful.
"William."
"That paperwork looks like a two-person job, honestly," William said, his survival instincts screaming.
He began backing toward the door with the practiced, urgent speed of a man who had faced down demons but knew when he was outmatched. "Very dangerous... Probably requires weeks of... intensive study."
"If Albert thinks children are the price of getting out of paperwork," Catherine said, her voice dropping into a wicked, teasing register that made William’s spine tingle, "then I say we test that theory."
William’s stomach dropped. "Catherine... wait—"
"Get back here and get me pregnant, William!" she called out, rising from her chair with sudden, terrifying purpose, a delighted grin spreading across her face. "It’s clearly the fastest route to maternity leave!"
"My salary cannot currently support a child!" William shouted back, already halfway out the door. "We haven’t even discussed this as a real option, and I refuse to let Albert’s terrible, traumatizing joke dictate our major life decisions!"
"Too late for logic, Instructor Wade!" she laughed, breaking into a sprint.
William broke into an all-out sprint down the academy corridor, his boots echoing off the stone walls. Behind him, Catherine’s genuine, bright, and utterly unhinged laughter chased him like a pursuing spell.
"Think about the benefits, William! No more budget meetings!" she yelled as she rounded the corner after him.
"I will not weaponize reproduction to avoid paperwork, Catherine! That is ethically questionable!" he bellowed back.
Their voices faded as they vanished around the bend, their ridiculous argument echoing through the dignified, silent halls of the administrative wing. For the first time in a long time, the academy didn’t feel like a fortress under siege; it felt like a home.