- I need to calm down. Indoors where no one is, pulling strength out of the body.
Breathe in, repeat vomiting. But Lust's face - that face that once looked terribly like the young man I met only once - couldn't get away from my head.
Even if no, memories that have been kept sealed are evoked.
When I was Asuki, when I died... that later thing. Very, very clearly.
Asuki Tazawa. My cause of death in my previous life was accidental death due to bad luck.
I was looking forward to the upcoming release date of the new edition of The King of Integrity a few days later.
Finally a new issue approaching the heart of the Tahen edition. Of course I have to go buy it on the same day! That.
I attended every day of the week, on my way home from high school.
Trying to cross the crosswalk, I was just waiting for the signal to turn blue.
Only one other pedestrian who was waiting for the signal was a young man in college style.
But the man, suddenly holding his chest with a distressed look, walked out across the sidewalk, fluttering.... and fell.
There - a wagon car drove in. The driver, who tried to avoid the fallen man, cut a handle on the sidewalk side.
A little more, if that position is off.
If only I hadn't stood up to what happened in front of me.
But Hate, on the direct hit course of the wagon car, I stood.
Approaching wagon car. That's all I remember in Japan.
If this was all I had, it was just a death accident, and I'm not reborn or anything with Narcotics' memory.
I'm Octavia now because there was this continuation.
Because I met him.
The next memory is a place you can't know anywhere.
starry sky. There, star-like light was shining around.
Strong brilliance, weak brilliance, and colorful star colors.
I can't see the ground, but I'm not falling anywhere.
... here, where?
- Me, alive? Then I have to go home. Your daughter was in a car accident, I can't believe the police called, and the mothers are so worried. I'm fine, I have to tell him.
Yet no matter how much I walk, I don't feel I've moved on.... There was a direction that felt so bad, I avoided you and even walked, he - people, suddenly appeared. It was like ignoring the laws of physics, the way they appeared.
"You...... oh well"
Years are...... a little older than me. Twenty, or about half, at best. The outfit is white... cosplay?
Blonde enough to feel dazzled, the young man with amber eyes looked at me and gave a convincing voice for some reason.
Even though I don't know anything about youth, like you do about me.
Foreigners - they looked neat, but they were somewhere dolly neat.
Behind my thoughts like that, the youth went on casually.
"You were unlucky."
"Luck...?
"No matter how careful humans are, it's inevitable. In that case, something must intervene. Isn't that what humans call luck? He said he had luck, he didn't. We're also lucky to be unpredictable. - So you're dead."
... dead. The truth is, I was stunned when they pointed out what I knew in the corner of my head.
Still somewhere, I was thinking this was a bad dream.
'Cause there's a consciousness called me, and I'm talking to a strange young man here.
"Bad luck, me, dead...?
"Precisely because you got involved, you're out of luck."
"Involved...?
In an accident?
- I vividly remembered when I hit the car I ran into.
Oh, shit. Well, you're not alive, are you?
Oh, it's not a dream. 'Cause I finally thought. I'm dead.
So this is the post-mortem world?
The stars are shining and beautiful - but such a landscape is extended. A place where you can't see the end.
"It inspired you to be hit, young human man. Remember?"
"I remember, I..."
"The man, but the truth is, I wasn't planning on dying. There, screw my plans, my... what can I say... what's the closest word... fellow? My people killed him. Without it, you would have crossed the sidewalk without anything. So you were unlucky."
"Killed...?
Why is that?
"Is it an exploratory one? A desire to solve a mystery. You have it, don't you?
"... I have no idea"
There's no connection between solving mysteries and killing people. But the young man shrugged his shoulders.
"Humans would do a lot of research using mice as experimental benches, right? For us, I think this mouse was human. Kill mice for experimentation. Kill humans for experimentation.... It doesn't matter, does it?
"... me too, is it?
So, he was killed?
"Yeah."
The young man laughed and shook his head.
"It wasn't you I wanted to invite. A young man who died before you. A human man who lived parasitically by his parents, didn't even help with chores, flunked back, and didn't bud my talent and strength because of society. It's called Neat. No one will be sad when they die. Yeah. His parents and brother are really happy right now."
"So! And what does that have to do with me!
"- That's the kind of person you are, if you change the environment, will it really change you? I don't know what it is, let us tell you, you can't do it on a soul level, that kind of person. But don't you want to believe in the possibilities? Doesn't that sound like overriding our expectations? Because there was a verse in them that they wanted a new life. He was holding the dead man, too. I want to escape my current life, adventure in different worlds, and level up. That kind of desire."
- That's why my people are forcibly inviting me.
Even so, it was refreshing to me.
"I don't want that......!
"Yeah. You didn't want that in the first place, and it's not enough to invite you, is it? Your family and friends will grieve if you die. At least, there's no such thing as a person who doesn't have to be there. You are irreplaceable to the people around you."
"Then...!
"But it's not like you're the one who creates something, whose loss affects the world. Dead is pathetic. I told you first, you were unlucky."
"Luck...! That's not your fault! Bring me back to life!
I don't know what a killer is that a young man is one of them. But it's none of my business. You just got involved, didn't you? Then put it back.
"... why?
Tilt his neck wide, the youth asks. I think sincerely, inexplicably. That was the trick.
"Why don't you just give up?"
"'Cause I'm just a bunch of things!
Nothing, not bad.
To the cry in my heart,
"Yeah. Right."
A young man who wasn't supposed to hear, affirmed, smiled softly. But the words continued to be the opposite of a smile.
"But I don't feel the need to do that. It wasn't me who killed that Neat in the first place. Then I'm not the cause of your death either. Wouldn't you?"
"Still! You're God, aren't you?
"Speaking of your words, I may be..."
"If you have no cause, to that God Himself!
- I don't know if I can do it.
"Why!"
"You know, if you accidentally stepped on the bottom of a shoe and killed it, 'Wow! What a terrible thing you did! We have to bring him back to life!' Think?... even if it's a little bad. You can't resurrect human life. 'Wow! What a terrible thing you did! We have to treat him!' You think?
- Bugs?
"... that far, I don't think"
But!
"At best, I'm sorry? About, right? Or it's worse to get trampled, or something? 'Cause the back of your shoes could have been dirty, huh? I might not have liked to feel it."
"... me, are you with the bug?
"If you don't like bugs, you can be a dog or a cat. Yeah, but will dogs and cats be more guilty? If I drove, some people might follow me to the animal hospital. Maybe some people just ignore it....... yeah. Right. Shall I correct it for a second? If I wasn't the one you met here, and the others, you might have come back to life. Because some of them are full of that kind of fraternal spirit."
"Let me see that god! Please!"
"But you'd rather still be saved than meet the people who killed Neat than just meet me, wouldn't you? The other world sends in the humans your people killed, because they are harsh. You didn't go there immediately either. I'm just happy. Look, over there."
A young man pointed in a direction that he felt disgusted.
"Over, cool...?
After you're killed, you're reborn in that place?
"Because I want to see human potential. You can't help reborn into a world that's more convenient and gentler than the original world, can you? But unfortunately, no one has shown the potential so far."
The young man said he was afraid of something terrible.
"... what happened to those people?
"A human being killed in this world and forcibly reborn into another world?
Stifles, snorts.
"Dead without life expectancy in other worlds, vanished."
"Extinction...?
"In this world, throwing people into another world who are gone and nothing changes, I knew I couldn't leave anything behind and died. Then it's no use having that soul reborn again, is it? So now you're going to wipe out every soul. It's okay. Nobody's in trouble. Because that's the kind of person you choose. But you..."
With horrible things in his flat mouth, a young man, frowning like a troubled man.
"Well, you don't match this condition... Not enough to bring you back to life as you are... but this is how we're talking..."
A young man slapped his hand. I came up with something good.
"That's right. If I had you as someone else, I would have reborn you. With memories, as a personality as Asuki. Even for me, this won't take much effort. What I don't like about you is that your personality disappears, right?
"... what?
"Except for the fiction you're into... in the world of the 'King of Purity'. If there's anything I can do to see you, Mr. Sill, I thought you'd like to see me. Shortly before he died, he seemed to be thinking about the book. This is gonna be easy and it's gonna be fun."
How do you even know that, or something? I didn't even come up with that question anymore.
"That's not what I really thought I'd see! Well, I want Celius to be king and happy with Master Sil! I was just looking forward to thinking about the book because the release date of the new issue is near!
"Hmmm...... I gave you a concession because of it. So you're going to the harsh other world? If I don't give you a hand, even if I walk against you, I think I'll automatically flush you out. Because you're a soul without a place to go."
"Oh, no!
"Yeah, hey."
"- Is there only that, in that, harsh world, or in the world of the 'King of Purity', reborn?
"Yes, I am."
"of the world of the 'King of Purity'... villagers or something?
"I'll serve you there. Let me make you the character that came out of the book. And gender...... would you rather have a girl? Or shall we be men?"
"I'm the character... So what happens to that original character?
"I can't help it, though? Because nowhere does the very world of the 'King of Purity' exist yet. No one can take something from nothing."
"Hey, I don't know what that means..."
I spinned the words, like telling a child that a young man could not make.
"It's a world of stories, so unless I make it, it doesn't exist where I looked?
Make the world?
"That would be easier to simply bring me back to life..."
"No? It's definitely easier to create a new world. It's so much harder to apply a hand in regeneration to the existing world.... even one human life. It's easy to take away, but it's perfectly well done."
A young man looked strange from the bottom of his heart and laughed terribly cold.
"In that regard, it's easy to make something out of a completely new state. Even in the world. So don't worry. You don't kill the characters who will be you. [M] Instead, shouldn't you be happy? Thanks to you, a new world, the God of that world, another life, history is born. Your soul is incorporated into it. You just become the characters themselves."
"Oh, no, I'm not happy"
Why is it such a grand thing?
"Really? I'm in trouble...... You are a soul that was not meant to be lost. That's why you're hanging around."
"So anyway, you don't have to remember me at this time, so I want to be born again in Japan!
But my wish was totally denied.
"Even if they say so, I don't have your boundaries anymore. The circulation of the soul is finely defined. Even if he dies now, he won't be able to use your circulation frame, which was set for the future. Lost - It's easy to get stumbled together when humans disappear unexpectedly. However, after that, the circulation... In your case, you're lost, so you're quickly thrown into a nearby world for now. So, I guess that's the harsh otherworlds that are being used as laboratories for my people. Like I said, just before you died, where Nettle died."
"You can't bring me back to Japan..."
I dropped my shoulder, but the next moment, I doubted my ears.
"Yeah. I can put you back on my own, can't I? I'll roll back the time and decide I didn't have your accident. - If it's possible or impossible, it's possible for me."
The young man grinned.
"Huh?"
"It's just that it's really hard. You're the bearer of a glorious soul, and I just don't want to feel that hard unless you're planning on solving the Earth's challenges and you're dead by mistake. You're not an unsaveable scum soul. [M] At the same time, we are not particularly attractive souls. There...... a soul without much? Talk about whether you want to have a hard time for something like that. Even you would if you were in my position."
"No, no, no! If you can...!
"Well, even if we talk again. You found a wildcat in a car accident on the road. He's not dead yet. It would be helpful if you took him to an animal hospital. However, treatment costs 10 million yen. I know that's how hard it is. This is absolute. Come on, do you help wildcats?
"No, that's too extreme!
Even if it is malicious. I can't help it. Ten million yen is very unlikely.
But the young man mocked my defense.
"Why? Because the amount is 10 million yen? But if it's a way to make money, how much do you have to choose? I said I robbed him. Work if you want to go positive... you owe me if you want to pay fast. Parents, relatives, friends... ask everyone to do something about it, maybe? Of course, you'll pay the debt you bore. To help the wildcats, it's the effort you have to carry. 'Cause you want to help the wildcats, and in fact, that way you can save the wildcats. There is a way. It's not impossible."
…………
"-But you want to go that far for the wildcat you happen to find? Care to?
... Probably, I can't.
I was drooling.
Even if the story is, the wildcat, it was me, this young man who discovered the wildcat.
"You understand me? I'm going to bring you back to Japan as you are, and I'm familiar with paying you $10 million. For me. But I feel sorry for you for once."
"... what do you mean?
Face up.
"Send the wildcat to the road to avoid being hit any further, or give him a drink of water before he dies. Perhaps I could feed you delicious food before you die. That's about it. You can take her to an animal hospital and pay her about 10,000 yen for her treatment, even if she doesn't help. If it's kind enough, I'll offer it to you."
- If I give it back, that's all it's worth, I don't have it.
"So, what I just said was a compromise proposal for you, a soul I showed you, which is not a big deal. You can make the world of the 'King of Immortality' and reborn him there. It's easier to keep it that way, so let's keep your memory intact. This is where you want it too. [M] I think it would be easier if I didn't have a memory before I was born."
I shook my head. It didn't seem that way very much. I don't like to forget my eighteen years.
Even though this is all that's left.
"- Or do you want to just wipe it out? It's not a bad idea to give up that it was fate to die, is it? If you give up, you won't suffer either. That's beautiful, isn't it? It may be worthy of your soul."
What are we gonna do?
Cleanliness? Destiny, give up? No way I can do that.
I can't give up.
If you can't get it back, at least, I don't want to lose the awareness of "Asuki Tazawa".
I wanted to be me.
"- To the world of the 'king of virtue', reborn"
Still, it's more than a familiar, nowhere world......
"Got it. Congratulations. At this moment, a new world has been created. He left my hand to make history. [M] Oh, but there was not enough information to make the world, so I made it up to me."
"... missing information?
"You, the characters Celius, will be king, tied only to Sil Burkes. You want that, don't you?
"'The King of Immortality' is a tale of two..."
You know, it's normal to end up like that, right?
If you're a reader, you want it.
It's a bad end to the story of the two of us breaking up or Celius throwing away his inheritance rights.
"That's right. It would be nice to complement it for that. I browsed the contents of The King of Purity for you, but how did the royal family survive, or with culture? A lot more? It doesn't say much. Because a country called Esphere in that world. Sounds like a setting called a country with history, but the next king is allowed to marry a man and not even build a sideroom, because he has a background, right? Then that has to be the norm. Maybe there's a same-sex marriage of kings in the past, too. That too, frequently. Then, I can't make that kind of history without doing it quite impossible and sacrificing something, but only until Celius's father, it says marriage"
"... because it's a story"
"Maybe you didn't write it on purpose. But if a story is forgiven, blanks are not allowed to make the real world."
"But if I put my hand on it, it's separate from the novel......!
"No problem. I just filled in an unwritten blank. Properly, by the time you're born, it should be the world of that novel in all its dimensions. I guarantee you that. That's the world where Celius becomes king and bonds with Sil."
"No way, are you going to do something to both of us? No, don't."
"I guess I was misunderstood. When it comes to their romance, the protagonists' minds… they don't mess with romantic feelings. My heart is difficult. You can swear."
"Swear?"
"Yes. I'll keep what I swear. Even if the process changes slightly, if the results are the same, it shouldn't be a problem, should it? If only it were an acceptable country for men to fall in love with each other. It's just that the world, you were born because of it, doesn't revolve around you. Then... you might not be happy. Role-wise. It's a long way to go."
"What, what the hell, who am I, a little bit,"
Somewhere, pushed away. The starry sky turns away.
"Well, it's better to be somewhat unhappy than to go to a harsh different world. Compared to this, you're lucky you met me."
Lucky? I can't believe I'm lucky...
"If you work hard, you might even be able to tear down the road, right? Naturally, vice versa. I look forward to your possibilities."
Come on in.
Darkening.
- So, I was born as Octavia.
As the words exchanged in that space say, in the world of The King of Purity, remain the memory of Narcotics.
Even though my body is a baby, from the moment I opened my eyes, my mind was eighteen years old Narcotics.
This is my, I don't even want to remember, fucking abominable memory.