I Favor the Villainess

* I'm talking about the Lillie-Lillium perspective.

Concon, and knock on the wooden door.

In the dim darkness of dusk, I could see that the design of the door of that building was adorned with wings, symbols of spirituality.

This is the Suse North Abbey, the Suse branch of the Spirit Church.

"Yes, who...?

"Let me, I'm a Sister of the Spirit Church, my name is Lily. I'm on a pilgrimage journey for a reason, but could you please share the food?"

I grabbed hold of it and explained it to the old Sister, who peered into my face from inside.

Sister stared at me like a servant to observe me,

"You're a pious man to make a pilgrimage nowadays. I'm Sister Lillette. Of course, I'll share the food. Here, come in."

Deepen the wrinkles in your eyeballs, and you told me so.

"Thank you. It helps."

I thank God I let the dust off my monastic clothes before I let them inside the monastery.

Compared to Bauer Cathedral, Suse North Abbey was a very small building.

Well, every monastery is decided to be small compared to the cathedral, but it seems particularly small here.

The building is old, and it's like it's time to think about replacing it, that kind of build.

I was walking after Sister Lillette, somewhat observing the indoors.

"You must have been surprised."

"Yeah, yeah... not!

Sister Lillett's words were so casual that I accidentally spilled the truth.

I try to fix it in a hurry, but I'm not very good at words.

When it's warm,

"Ugh, that's okay. Because it's true. Just like me, this monastery is my grandmother."

That's what Sister Lillett laughed at Eagle Deep.

"Ha, don't you want to do a rebuild?

"I thought about it too, but this monastery is supposed to close in my place. 'Cause we got a big, new convent nearby."

"Oh really..."

"Yeah. So I'm going to leave it here. I'll keep the money and use it to demolish it."

Monasteries are often not basically wealthy.

Though money is said to be accommodating across the Spirit Church, there is still something called priority.

I don't want two monasteries anywhere near me.

Maybe the Spirit Church in Suse built a new monastery separately because this monastery is getting old.

"Oh, I'm sorry. We don't have a lot of people here, so we're gonna have an extra chat."

"Yes, no, never mind"

"hehe, thanks"

"And does Sister Lillett live here all by herself?

"The other two, I'm with the young Sister. Right... just about the same age as Lily."

And just then Sister Lillett said,

"Sister Lillette, customer?

……

Two nuns, a little taller than me, put their faces out of the back.

I thought I'd hold my breath.

"Fuck, Mr. Ray!?

The taller nun of the two looked so much like Mr. Ray that I thought he was a living copy.

Suddenly he shouted at me, a nun like Mr. Ray looked suspicious and the other hid behind it.

"My name is Elie..."

"... not Ray"

To the words of their denial, I returned them to me.

Yes, Mr. Ray can't be in a place like this.

Because she's in the middle of her honeymoon with Claire right now.

Yes, newlyweds......

"... ugh... ugh..."

"Hey... what's going on!? All of a sudden, I'm crying."

"No, it reminds me of something a little hard..."

"... this man, emotionally unstable..."

Ray's just like me worried me, and the other one frightened me.

"Oh... what shall we do? They were just asking me to share the food, but I was wondering if this would be better if you stayed overnight?

Sister Lillett, who was watching how we were doing, relaxed and said so.

"Yes, no! I can't let that bother you..."

"I won't hesitate. Elie, Mari. Get Mr. Lily a room."

"Yes."

"... Yes..."

For some reason, the conversation is starting to come together in the direction of getting you to stay.

"Ho, because I'm really fine!

"Keep it sweet here with Sister Lillette's generosity. And... I'm sorry, but I think we should get a little dressed."

Besides my thoughts, I was pushed back by a pushy Elie.

When I looked down at myself when I was told, I noticed that my monastic clothes were rubbed off everywhere and rather thinly dirty.

By the way, he says it's Mari with a smaller mouth count.

"Who can sew?

"Ugh... I'm not very good at it"

"That's how it is, isn't it? Just get dressed for this in your room. I'll fix your monastic clothes."

When I laughed bitterly, Mr. Elie looked over his room attire and gave it to me.

"Shh, excuse me..."

"It's natural for the same Sisters to help each other, isn't it? Then call me when you get dressed."

"... rice already..."

With that said, they left the room.

"... I think I'll sweeten you generously"

Even on previous journeys, there have been several times when I have been asked to stay in the monastery.

But I've never received such aggressive kindness, and I felt warmer in the back of my chest.

◆ ◇ ◆ ◇ ◆

"Then give thanks to the Lord of the Spirit for the daily sustenance -"

"" "I'll have it" "

The dining room - in a room not as large as you might imagine from the word - I was to have dinner with the three nuns.

I prayed before meals and then I reached for bread.

The dedication is boiled eggs in bread and empty bean potage - standard as a spiritual monastery.

She said Elie was the one who made it, and speaking of which, Ray was good at cooking, and I was going to be a little hung up again.

"Have you calmed down a little?"

By the time I finished my first bread, Sister Lillette was kind enough to say the word.

"Yes. Excuse me for earlier."

"Heh, it's okay. Did you even remember something sad?

"... Actually, a broken heart..."

"Well."

To my whispering words, Sister Lillette has turned her attention to smiling things.

"I can't believe you pretended to be like Mr. Lily."

"... I don't have eyes to see..."

The other two are sympathetic.

I couldn't wait to change the subject.

"Hey, what's the guy like?

"... I want to hear..."

Mr. Elie and Mr. Mari have been eating up.

To observe, the two people living in this monastery must have been hungry for new topics.

Coibana brought by a rare customer must have been just the right dessert.

"Shh, he's a nice guy. Very much. But she already has someone in her mind..."

"Oh..."

"... that's hard..."

To my words, which I said a prawn, Mr Elie and Mr Mari deepen the colour of their sympathy more and more.

But I didn't realize I had made a big mistake.

"Her?"

"Ah..."

Sister Lillett overheard.

He obviously looked for a detailed explanation, although the expression wasn't too harsh.

Is this... should I confess...

"Could it be that Mr. Lily has put her thoughts on women?

"... is, yes..."

I had no choice but to answer honestly to the tone of Sister Lillette, who was calm and would not tolerate deception.

Spiritualism is negative for homosexuality.

Even the tables don't persecute you, but the idea that love is what men and women do is dominant.

I was ready to be blamed.

"Yes...... Right."

But Sister Lillette quietly returned to her meal without saying anything more.

……

Somehow, it was strange air.

I'm sure it's awkward. But it's not just like that.

I didn't know what this atmosphere meant and ended up finishing my meal without saying anything about it.

◆ ◇ ◆ ◇ ◆

"Mr. Lily, are you awake?

That night, it was time for all I had to do was sleep, and I heard knocking on the door of the room.

"Yes. Still awake."

I got myself out of bed and dressed up.

"Can I come in?

"Doh, go ahead."

The Lord of Knock was Mr. Elie.

"Komen, late at night"

"Yes, no. What did you do?

"... I need to talk to you."

Mr. Elie, who says so, looked very serious.

When she looks like Mr. Ray, it's like Mr. Ray himself is depressed, and I feel restless.

"Ri, I'll talk to you if you like with Lily. Please tell me anything."

As a Cardinal of the Spirit Church, I was learning the art of getting on with the consultation of others.

Because it was a swelling treatment in the cathedral, I didn't benefit from the opportunity to take advantage of it, but this could be a good opportunity.

"Thank you. I'm talking to... the..."

Mr. Eerie has spoken up.

Is it hard to say?

"Mr. Elie, please sit here."

When I shifted the seating position slightly to create a gap in the bed, I invited Mr. Elie there.

Mr. Elie showed a little hesitation, but eventually he sat next to me.

"Sometimes it's hard to say, even if you're worried"

"... yeah"

"The Lily thinker we talked about at dinner - Ray is the one who just soothed Lily's troubles."

……

I first told Mr Elie about myself.

Meet Mr. Ray, the fact that he saved a gay, gay draw, the rogue nobleman picket that Master Claire joined, and - my betrayal too.

My identity and the privacy of the characters lay low, but I told Mr. Eerie about what had happened before I embarked on my journey.

"Mr. Lily, have you lived such a ripple life? It doesn't seem like it's bothering me."

"Hih, it's terrible. Yo!

"hehe, sorry"

That's what I said and laughed briefly. Elie made her expression a little harder again,

"Consultation is about Mali."

"... you mean your other cohabitant. He seemed very close to Lily..."

Mari, who was trying to hide behind Mr. Elie, seemed very trusting about Mr. Elie.

"Yeah, we're good friends. It's okay, but the emotions that Mari has for me and the emotions that I have for Mari... maybe not"

"It's..."

Give me a break.

"Maybe I'm gay too"

Mr. Elie's face, which I told him to put aside, seems spicy even though he is laughing.

"Mari and I have been together ever since we were young. We were both abandoned by our parents."

Both Elie and Mari have grown up as sisters, replacing Sister Lillette with her mother, she said.

"I am the sister, Mari is the sister. I'm sure that's what it looks like from the edge, and both Mari and Sister Lillette think so. But I'm not. I noticed something different."

Guilt of seeing my sister's identical presence with a sexual eye.

The fear of being enlightened about it.

And spiritual teachings that preach their thoughts as impure.

It's like the world is denying itself, Ms Elie said.

"Hey, Mr. Lily. What am I supposed to do? I hate myself for thinking this..."

Finally, he couldn't even laugh empty-handedly, and Mr. Elie lay down on his face sobbing.

I couldn't stay or stand and hugged that body.

Mr. Elie kept crying for a while as he was.

I thought hard as I stroked her head.

How can I climb up against this broken heart, myself?

"Mr. Eerie, the first thing I should say to you is that the suffering you suffer is not punishment"

To my words, Mr. Elie raised his face with a stiff look.

I go on.

"It doesn't make sense to like someone, That's something I can't help myself anymore. And it's never a sin"

"But spirituality..."

"Do you know what the most important of Spiritual teachings is, Mr. Elie?

I suppressed Mr Eelier from trying to argue, and I threw the question.

While looking suspicious, Mr. Elie thought for a moment,

"That everyone is equal under the Spirit God"

"Exactly. That's the most important thing. Other doctrines are only added later in the course of history."

"Is that...?

"If everyone is equal, isn't it strange that homosexuals are denied their thoughts?

That seemed like an unexpected way of thinking to her.

I felt as if I was looking at myself there in the past.

"I think Mr. Ray has more logically affirmed homosexuality, but Lily can't do that much. But there's only one thing I can say with confidence in Lily like that."

"What is it?

I chose my words carefully and said:

"God doesn't make the world just to make you a sinner," he said.

This is what I got to living in faith.

For those who may not have faith, it may not be any drug, but the truth that is true and important.

"For Lily and Elie, who will like same-sex, this world may indeed seem painful. But it's not God, it's people who are making the world hard. Don't go wrong there."

The core of faith is trust in God.

For those who live in faith, feeling denied by God is nothing more than an absolute denial of self.

The fate of those who have done so is the denial of faith, the denial of the world, and, at the end of the day, the escape from oneself - that is, death.

"First affirm your thoughts. It all comes from that."

……

Mr. Elie seemed to be thinking deeply.

The monastic night was peaceful and we were in the same tranquility that had been left out of the world.

But we know we live in faith.

God always watches over you next door.

"... but Mari might not be able to turn around"

"That's something we can't help. Even heterosexuals won't be able to affirm their thoughts, will they? That's where you shouldn't be sweet."

Most importantly, it is not a moving fact that homosexual thoughts are difficult to bear fruit because of social norms that normalize heterosexuality.

That said, it's not their fault there, and I think it's our mission to live now to change those social norms.

At least, that man I respect, he's been fighting something.

"... I still can't sort it out, but I think I dropped a little. I'm glad you said this suffering of mine wasn't a punishment."

When I said that to whine, Mr. Elie wiped his eyes and laughed.

"I don't know if you can respond to Mari... yeah. I'm the only one who won't deny my thoughts. Thanks."

I thought she looked like that guy I knew very well, who looked blown out somewhere.

◆ ◇ ◆ ◇ ◆

"So so!? And then what happened!?

"Uh..."

"It's too disappointing, Master Claire. Master Lily is pulling."

Returning from my journey, I am interrupting Mr. Ray and Mr. Claire's home to warm up my old relationship.

One of the things I talked about as a souvenir story seems to have been a huge hit on Master Claire, and she eats great.

Did Ray treat Claire like she didn't have time to drink the tea that was served?

"Za, I'm sorry, but Lily doesn't even know what happened after that. The next morning, Lily traveled to her next destination."

"Let's send a letter to Mr. Elie!

"Well, you don't have to be that far..."

"No, no. You must be Ray's two kids, right? At first glance, no, I'd love to see the second!

Is that it?

Dear Claire, you really like Mr. Ray, don't you?

No, even I like it so much that I can't beat it.

"Oh no... Master Claire cheated on me!

That's what Ray said when I asked him, as he rebrewed me his tea.

"That can't be true. I've been staring at Ray for a long time."

"Dear Claire..."

"I don't need a nickname!

"Claire!"

"Ray!"

"... should I be free"

While it was somehow distant, I put my mouth on the tea that Mr. Ray had re-brewed for me.

I myself care about Mr. Eerie, but I also find it a little scary to see what happened after that.

I mean, I've done all the words myself, but I can't predict what people's emotions will be.

Either Mr. Elie's thoughts have come true or not, and no matter what happens to her afterwards, there is no guarantee whatsoever.

But I believe.

That no matter how painful things may be, God will never abandon those who believe.