I'm still alive

He collapsed from his seat, exhaling in vain. And he looked at me to say something with a sweet mouth. But his heart soon stopped, and his eyes waned with a lot of emotion. Regret, resentment, everything disappears like a haze.

He was staring into space with empty eyes, as if the TV were off. Dead. That's all my appreciation was. The terminal of life that I cut off with my hands was very small and shabby. When he died, Lee Jin-soo, who came along with him, was staring at the body with a blank face.

The woman was hugging Chae-yeon, covering her eyes. And Lee Hye-in, who had been running far out of breath, finally found this scene and was looking at us with trembling eyes.

I shook my head to shake off my thoughts. And he comforts himself by turning away from guilt for a while. Death came heavier before my heart. I tried to pretend to be calm. The hand holding the window trembled and held it firmly with the other hand.

The texture of cutting the meat still lingers in my hand, hitting my head. Swallowing one's saliva and enduring faint nausea. And constantly asked me back, and thought back. Yeah, I had to be strong. You must remain calm before death. Don't hesitate. I have to be a cold, cool, scary monster. I have to be a monster among monsters.

People had more blood than I thought. It's a feeling I felt while looking at the blood soaked in the floor. And as the thick smell of blood penetrated the nostrils, the hazy mind came back clearly, and the loose nerves became sharply fishy. And this anxiety, penetrating all over my body, was constantly ringing red lights at my head.

Bottled blood, and a corpse. a broken door Crucially the gunshot! All these pieces were scattered all over my head, and I began to fit them one by one. The pieces come together one by one to complete the vague anxiety I had.

I turned right back and shouted to the woman. 'Get your stuff!' The woman lost her mind for a while and soon began to pack. I also stumbled up and stole a hiking bag from Jinsu.

Everyone was looking at me, except for the woman who was busy packing. "Jinsu's lips are dangling to see if she wants to say something with a blank face, and Lee Hye-in, who still looks at me with trembling eyes." And Chae Yeon comes up to me and holds my hand tightly.

I felt as if I was drifting on a sea without a lighthouse, even though everyone was looking at me. The warmth in my hands weighed heavily on my responsibility. But I knew. Hesitation was poison, and there was no time to worry at the crossroads.

I just thought I should get out of here first. I told a woman who was out of her mind and couldn't pack her luggage properly to follow me, and with the other hand, Chae-yeon grabbed her hand and hurried out.

The air felt by the skin makes you feel bad for no reason. And the anxiety that squeezes my body whip my mind sharply. Looking back, everyone in the party was looking at me with an uneasy look. I said follow me at once.

And hugging Chae-yeon, she took a quick step. Chae-yeon was getting lighter and lighter. Lack of food, an unbalanced diet, and frequent anxiety were drying up Chae-yeon. Seeing Chae-yeon wiggling and covering her face in my arms, she began to run again.

The public toilet where we stayed for a while gradually moved away. With me at the forefront, the party began to run after me. I could hear the harsh breathing of my ears. And the most coarse of those breathing sounds was mine.

The heavy bag and Chae-yeon's weight filled her hidden chin. I think it was about 10 minutes apart. The speed of running decreases, and the pace of footsteps coming from behind slows down slowly. And I could hear a breath that seemed to pass as if the limit was near.

Can't we stop now? Can't we take a rest now? A sweet whisper knocks in the heart. I can feel resentment in the back of my head whether the people following me feel the same way. Nevertheless, I didn't stop running.

When I entered the rough mountain path, "Mr. ..!" and "Wait a minute!" I could hear Jin-su calling me from behind. I ignored the horse and started running over and over. Jinsu kept breathing hard and was calling me without giving up.

And now I stopped because of Jinsu, who ran fast and grabbed me by the shoulder, whether my patience had run out. As I turned back, Jinsu looked at me with a face covered with coarse breath and saliva, and from a little distance I saw Lee Hye-in and a woman who had fallen into their seats.

It was only when I saw them covered with dry saliva and runny noses that I breathed out of my lungs. Sweat soaked the whole body, and came up with a burst of breath. Chae-yeon was looking up at me with a worried face. I looked at Jin-su and bit my lips hard.

Then a terrible shriek from afar came through the mountains. The hateful screams that came out of the vocal cords strongly stimulated the tired body and nerves. I think we've already arrived at the public restroom. It was the moment when the anxiety that stabbed me in the head hit the mark. Gunshots called them.

However, the group was looking at me with a puzzled look, as if they had never expected to come here. Lee Hye-in came quickly to my brother's side, perhaps scared, and the woman also came to my side with a lot of worries hanging over her face. Jinsu also looked at me with trembling eyes.

I gave them a silent signal, turned and started running again. Breathing violently, he bit his lips tightly to stop it. The sun sinks so fast in the winter mountains. After running for a long time, we were distracted by the fear of coming as the sun began to set. Their shouting constantly whipped their legs to stop.

The mountain becomes completely dark. Now the road began to be invisible, and only a pale outline came into view. He gets caught in a rock bill and continues to run. From behind there came a small scream and harsh breathing as if repeatedly falling and getting up. Nevertheless, the party did not stop and got up again and followed me.

My whole body was covered with sweat. Cold sweat and hot sweat wet all my clothes. It was drifting in the night without a destination. Where should we head to? Do you think they'really? A vague fear kept us from stopping or heading.

What made me even harder was the despair of governing the head, not the tired body. My steps slowly slowed down. Then he stopped in the middle of the road. I was just running so vaguely. However, it was too dark to find a destination.

a moonless night in cloudy weather We were lost in such darkness. I gasped out and picked my breath, and look into the void where nothing was seen. When I stop walking, the party also comes around me and takes a rough breath.

Everyone was very tired. If you run more, you will be completely exhausted, and you will lie down all night in this dark, cold mountain. I quickly began to look around and figure out the terrain. Fortunately, we weren't running off the trail. From the look of the ramp we were gradually climbing up the mountain.

I needed a place to hide. I can't hear their shouting and shouting anymore, but it's too early to be relieved. We were not safe since the sun that narrowed their perception was gone. I put Chae-yeon on the floor and held her hand tightly. And slowly began to walk along the hiking trail.

Where are we headed?’

The following Jinsu asked me. The voice was full of fear. I shook my head and didn't answer. No, I didn't have the energy to answer. The body is starting to droop as if it's a rebound. And the anxiety that they might suddenly pop out of the dark bit my mind. No visibility, no future, nothing. I shook my hands slowly.

I suddenly felt the sensation of pulling my hand when I began to shake. The left hand holding Chae-yeon's hand. I looked down at Chae-yeon, wondering what was going on. Chae-yeon looked up at me with clear eyes and was muttering.

I couldn't understand the meaning like a child's babble. Am I whining because the kid's having a hard time? I questioned her, but I was a little worried because it was the first time she had done this. When I didn't answer anything, Chae-yeon, who pulled my hand a few times, slowly raised the other hand and pointed to one side.

I dazed away along the hand. There was a small sign buried in the dark. We, who had narrowed our horizons due to fear, could not find it, but Chae-yeon managed to find the sign and sent a signal to me.

I hugged Chae-yeon again as if I had been possessed by something, and I came close to the sign and scanned the sign with my hand. After reading the letters on the dusty sign, I started running again.

* * *

The slope disappeared and a gentle path was seen. As I ran slowly along the road, I could see several signs and some facilities that I couldn't figure out the purpose of. I paused and looked closely at the facilities, but most of them were treaty and crude rides. Maybe it's like a playground in the mountains? But when we were judged, not where we deserved to hide, I kept running forward without hesitation.

Was he running like that for about a minute? A round dome came into view in the distance. The gray-painted building seemed to be beckoning itself in the dark. I grabbed the bursting heart, turned rapidly and headed for the building.

He stumbled as if he were going down the stairs, and soon arrived at the door of the building. She put Chae-yeon down for a moment at the door, clearing her rough breath and wiping her sweat with her sleeves. And I began to look around the place. It was a small dome-shaped building. It was made of strong iron gates, and the gate was written in large letters, 'Chungnyongsan Mountain Forest Infant Shelter.'

And there was a small letter written below, but it was too small to be seen in this darkness. I slowly grabbed the handle and turned it around. I was worried that the door wouldn't open, but when I pressed it again, the door opened with a rusty sound of hinges.

When I opened the door, the warm air came out rather than outside. And dust rose suddenly to see if anyone had been in and out for a long time. I coughed and looked carefully inside. I carefully sniffed if they smelled blood or corpses.

Fortunately, it didn't smell, but still, for a more definite confirmation, it banged its fingers quietly and made a crackling sound. And I waited with the spear blade forward, but there was no response. I wiped off the sweat with a sigh of relief.

And looked back. The party was arriving one by one when I waited a moment. If you can't find me, I was thinking of visiting you, but fortunately everyone must have found me entering this building. I looked all over the place and sent my siblings in first.

Lee Jin-soo bowed his head and went in to help his sister, and the woman he met at the bicycle center hesitated to come inside. Lastly, I looked all around and took Chae-yeon's hand and went into the shelter.

The woman who went inside looked at me near the door and reached out to Chae-yeon. Chae-yeon smiled brightly and came into her arms. I think we became very close while I was away, but I was a little disappointed. Still, the child was laughing, so did I. It's reassuring that the woman seems to be treating Chae-yeon sincerely.

I closed the door slowly. With a little heavy sound the iron door was closed, and I locked it last. Click, the interior of the building fell into utter silence when the sound of locking the door was heard. Now I could feel that I was safe, and I could hear sighs of relief everywhere. I was relaxed and relaxed.

The party was silent for a moment. I breathed out my tired breath without a word, and as time passed and gradually returned, my body felt a sudden fatigue. Then I heard a click nearby and one place was bright. When I turned to the place, I saw Jin-su's face.

Jinsu was holding a lighter. The light of the lighter lit up the interior a little bit. I checked each and every face of the party with that pale light. They were all limp with sweat and fatigue. I extended my hand to Jinsu for a lighter. Jinsu gave me a lighter without hesitation.

I scanned the interior of the building with a lighter light. The interior structure of the building was very simple. It wasn't such a big space for now, but it was enough for the whole party to stay. 20 pyeong? Make it wide. 25 pyeong? In the large space there were tables and chairs, and on one side there was a room and a bathroom that read "the nursing room."

And there were dusty blankets in one cupboard to see if it was also operated as a shelter. And the last room I found was locked in a warehouse. I took out a blanket full of dust, dusted it off, laid it on the floor and sat Chae-yeon down.

The party followed my actions with a very tired look. The shelter building prevented the cold winter wind, but it did not prevent the cold air. As the sweat began to cool down, the group began to tremble, and I took out hot packs from my bag and handed them out one by one for fear of catching a cold.

When I gave her a hot pack and told her to shake it, she laughed and shook the hot pack. Thanks to Chae-yeon, who maintains her bright appearance even in this situation, a light smile came out from her face as opposed to the tough situation. I also shook the hot pack and cared about keeping my body warm.

When the tremors stopped, he took a pail of water out of his bag, gave it to Chae-yeon, and gave it to the party. It's heartbreaking to have Chae-yeon eat only these kinds of food every day. But the situation was not favorable, so I only used my appetite.

I crumpled the biscuit in my mouth, and drank water like a gulp. I ate up the biscuits in a flash. I soon turned off the lighter. I told Chae-yeon and her party in a small voice that it was okay to take a rest. And I got up slowly and sat down in the chair in front of the window.

Then I checked the window. The window was covered with thick curtains. The curtains will keep the sound or light from leaking through the window. There was also a thermal effect that prevented the cold air blowing through the window gap.

I turned slightly to clear the curtains sideways, and looked out the window. They didn't seem to be following us. The building had four windows in all. Looking for the windows one by one, checking the curtains and scouting every location.

I've confirmed they're not around here. I relaxed, sighed deeply, and sat on the chair as if I were falling. As we looked around, the group was eating all the food and water, lying on a blanket, or sitting down and relaxing.

Chae-yeon was playing with her hands in the arms of a woman when she went there. And as I looked at myself, I swung up my head and turned my eyes toward me. Chae-yeon couldn't see her face because of the darkness, but it's clear that she looks at me as she does every time.

From one side, I could already see sleeping siblings. You must have been very tired. And as time went by, Chae-yeon might have fallen asleep, but she heard a small breath regularly. The woman stroked Chae-yeon's cheek and carefully laid her down on the blanket.

Then he sat down for a moment and looked into the air, and found me still awake, and came up to my side and sat down. There was a moment of silence between us. After a while the woman asked me in a small voice. 'Isn't the child pretty?' I nodded unanswered. When I didn't answer, the woman said in a smaller voice.

'Please keep your child safe.'

I hesitated for a moment. And then a small nod.

And the woman woke up slowly with a sigh full of tiredness, perhaps tired. Then he laid a blanket on one corner and laid himself on it. I stared blankly at the figure and hesitated to call her.

What's your name?’

She looked back at me with a slight surprise and soon asked back, 'Yes?' The voice was mingled with embarrassment, surprise and a little cry. And a feeling of relief and good fortune came out of her face. She answered with a quivering voice, expressing joy that I had asked her name.

'Kang Soo Ryun......'

I answered.

I'll call you that from now.’