I'm still alive

When I opened my eyes, I saw a strange ceiling. As I pulled myself together and sat idly for a moment, I remembered where I was. Warm sunlight poured through the windows under the security window. I staggered up and looked around. Then I leaned down gently and looked outside the security window.

The cloudy weather seemed to have passed through the night with a pleasant sunshine. The snow had been piled up, but it didn't fall any further. Stretch out your head and check around, and I pressed hard against the security window to close the door. However, the security window did not go down as if something had been caught.

As I looked around, the materials were blocking under the security window. I groaned it out, pulled it in, and pressed hard against the security window. Only then did the security window go down slowly, making a small noise. I replaced the cushion with my feet so that I could not hear the rustling sound, and I closed the window completely. I was a little relieved.

I rubbed my face and tried to pull myself together. My head was still throbbing, and I had a cold sweat, but there was no time for delay. I looked around, swallowing dry saliva. The supplies were all over the place, perhaps in a hurry. There were no signs of survivors as far as this place was hard to reach.

I checked the contents by opening each box. There were a lot of items like a big mart. I found the most water, and as soon as I found it, I hurriedly opened it and took it to my mouth. And emptied half a bucket of water in an instant. Sometimes I heard a sarah and spat out half the water, but I didn't stop poking it into my throat.

By the time the barrel was almost emptied, a sip of water was sprayed on his face. The cold weather quickly brought cold air, but I tried to shake off my fatigue by rubbing my water-soaked face. Then I closed my lips and began to open each box one by one.

The quantity was considerable. Wouldn't there be more in the warehouse? Food to bottled water and essential necessities. There was nothing missing. However, there was only one bag, and the quantity that can be taken is limited. I regretted coming alone. I was going to put canned goods in it, but then I shook my head.

I felt it was yesterday, but coming to the city to get food is more dangerous than I thought. I had to put as much as I could. So I began to stuff small biscuits in my bag. Somehow I felt reassured when the big bag was filled with small biscuits.

And a balanced diet is also important. I thought that fruits with lots of vitamins would be good for lack of knowledge, and I filled the remaining space with canned fruits. It takes up a lot of volume, but it can't be helped. I looked for vitamin pills just in case, but I couldn't see them.

The bag was barely packed. But I couldn't get rid of my greed, so I took a thin string and dangling a beef jerky bag in my bag. I did all sorts of things because I thought I should take as much as I could. I almost fell down when I carried my bag. However, most biscuits were not of weight that could not be lifted. Finally, I filled my pocket with chocolate bars, and I got up from my seat. I missed Chae-yeon quickly.

Sneaking toward the door to open the security window, I saw a big lock at the next counter. The key was plugged in, and it was a lock that looked very solid. The use of closing the security window was obvious. I think he ran away without locking it, but the owner must have been in a hurry.

I reached out and checked the lock. There was no damage, except for the accumulation of dust. I flashed my eyes for a moment and looked at the lock for a moment and nodded. And slowly opened the security window in half. Then he took care not to hear the sound and pulled himself out.

The cold air brushed against the face, and the breath passed through the air. The snow had piled up to the ankles. I turned back and lowered the security window and closed it. Then I locked the entrance to the crime prevention window. I packed the keys separately in my pocket. You can't get in unless you break the security window and thick locks.

Crushing will cause a loud noise and bring them in. With this key, this mart belonged to me. It was a selfish act. It was a bad act to monopolize this material. And yet I didn't hesitate. In fact, I felt more reassured in the corner of my heart.

I clung right next to the car and looked around. Seeing them in India from time to time, I didn't think they had to crawl under the car. As the sun rises, their nerves become dull and their radius of activity narrows.

I grabbed onto my heavy bag and walked away. I was slow to walk because of the snow on my feet, but I was determined to arrive at the shelter today. I left my footprints in the snow of pure white with joy.

Stuck next to the car, I walked around Yeonshin. Sometimes I see them, but when I bow down and walk with my breath, they don't find me. And sometimes when they were close, they crawled under the car. I felt like a human cockroach, so I laughed even in that situation.

That's how I got out of Sinlim-ro. The road that seemed so long at night was so easy to walk out when the sun rose. Feeling empty, I sighed small as I looked at Sillim-ro, and crossed the Hwarang Bridge, feeling the way I came back. And I walked blankly looking at Dorimcheon, which is not popular. A cold river breeze brushed past my face and ears.

The footprints I left when I crossed this bridge yesterday were snow-covered. Nevertheless, there were footprints on Hwaranggyo Bridge that were not mine. It appears to be a human footprint, given that it has a constant stride and is wearing shoes. Maybe he crossed this bridge as soon as the snow stopped.

Sometimes I felt like I was drifting alone in this city, but I didn't think so. In this gray concrete jungle, they were living their own lives. I stopped walking in thought, but I walked again soon.

I'm feeling sick as if I'm going through too much. My body trembled with fatigue, and I broke out in a cold sweat. My head ached whenever the biting wind cooled down my cold sweat. Nevertheless, I couldn't stop walking. There was no one to be dumbfounded by the pain. There was no one to complain that it was hard. You just have to be patient, walk and walk.

I crossed the bridge and passed eight roads. Familiar paths were seen. The officetel from which she jumped also passed. The bloodstains erased the snow, and all the memories of the day were erased. I closed my eyes tightly and passed the road hoping that the snow would erase even my nightmare.

As I entered the familiar path, I passed them skillfully as if I were playing the second game. They always return to their seats during the day and stare blankly at the sky or wait for sound. I don't know what you're looking at, but standing there muttering unheard words was chilling and frightening. If I had a chance to get closer to them, I wanted to hear it. What the hell are you saying?

Passing through the officetel and the convenience store that had been in vain. Then, he continued to walk past the convenience store where he met Jin-soo and Lee Hye-in. When I passed by the familiar construction site, I was relieved to think that I had just come this far.

If you walk a little, you will meet Chae-yeon. Fixing the heavy load, he strode vigorously.

Then, he stops walking with a startling surprise.

Clear footprints are seen in the front. Footprints slowly headed here as if they had come from afar. Slowly creeping, I held my gun tight, and swallowed my saliva. I tried to think he was just a passing survivor, but I couldn't get rid of the tension that kept me stiff.

I took a step towards the shelter. The footprints were becoming more and more similar to mine. At least ten people. These many footprints were clearly more than ten. The idea speeded up the pace. My mind drifted away, and I followed my footsteps, regardless of the heavy bag.

It was only at the beginning of the mountain that I was convinced. They came into the mountain. When I touched the footprints in the snow, the surroundings did not freeze completely. It hasn't been long since I passed this place. The thought made me run like a madman to keep me from being late. Then he threw his bag to the side of the hiking trail to prevent him from running.

Were they watching me? Why are so many people coming here?

I ran for a long time with a heavy gun. A suffocating, suffocating, tired body was telling me to stop collapsing. I still didn't stop. Chaeyeon, Chaeyeon. Chae-yeon! I ran to the shelter, constantly muttering into my mouth.

At last I saw a shelter in the distance. The area was so quiet that it was full of falling snow. I swallowed my saliva and escaped from the side of the road and hid in the structure. Then he carefully walked away, following the footsteps with his eyes. Unlock the gun. Then shake the struck sword again to make sure it is secured tightly.

Then he hid in a structure near the shelter and put out his head.

I could see people. Four soldiers in military uniform with guns. A man and a woman in a white gown. And five people in plain clothes in the distance. Who is it? What is it? What's the purpose? And as she slowly shifted her sight, the woman in the white gown was talking to people covered in blankets.

His mouth opened as if he were having a conversation, and a quiet voice came in. As I approached closer and narrowed my horizons, they caught my eye. Lee Hye-in and Jin-soo are siblings. You're talking to them, covered in blankets? Why with them? You don't think they're rescuers? I felt my mind brightening up.

Clean dress and good armour. And a favorable attitude toward our party. As soon as I thought of it, I hurried to find Chae-yeon. Chae-yeon was not far away, and she was in Kang Soo-ryeon's arms. But I saw something a little strange. Holding Chae-yeon in her arms, Kang Su-ryeon wandered around the rest area and around them with anxiety. The face from the front was seen anxious from afar.

I came out of the structure that was slowly hiding. Rescue teams are here. My head was filled with questions because of the anxious Kang Soo-ryeon, but I rationalized the anxious idea. That much, I earnestly hoped for the situation of rescue.

Chae-yeon can go somewhere safe. You can let them get along like other kids. You don't have to cry out of hunger and fear. I felt like crying. When I showed up, the soldiers quickly pointed their guns at me.

The rest of the people looked at me in surprise when I came out. The soldiers shouted at me. 'Dump the gun!' I put the gun down on the floor with trembling hands. And shouted to them a little louder in a quivering voice.

Is this a rescue party?’

Are you here to save us?’

I knelt on the floor and raised my hand. When they showed that I was not resisting, the soldiers slowly lowered the gun slowly. And they nodded small, and I cried out, 'Thank you' with my mouth, for joy.

At that moment, another voice came in.

'I'm... ...right.'

Lee Hye-in's mouth, looking at me from afar, opened. The soldiers pointed their guns at me in unison.

'He killed a soldier.’

The horse is daggerated into me. I was suffocated with breath in my tingling chest. Chae-yeon suddenly burst into tears, reaching out to me to reach out, and Kang Su-ryeon howled and stopped the soldiers with guns.

No, he's not! Please....'

The sound of Kang Soo-ryeon's howling pierced his ears. The dawn came as if a bomb of guilt had exploded. I felt my mind slowly sinking into despair. The self-depreciation that has been hidden inside is flooding up.

Hate for Lee Hye-in is pouring in. No, even that hatred turns into disgust directed at me. I couldn't even get out of my mouth an excuse for killing to protect us. The soldier didn't shoot me even though he had a bullet. 'Cause I, I killed that kind of guy!

If there is a rescue team, it means there is still a normal society. In that normal society, I would be nothing but a criminal. Getting out of the gray jungle, I was a different person in their eyes. Someone who is different from me, someone who has no ethics.

In their eyes... ...I'm a murderer.

I have sinned. I killed a man. He did something that was out of the law, and he tried to live among the people. He knew it so well that he could neither swear at Lee Hye-in nor make excuses. In the meantime, I tried hard to comfort myself, but I collapsed in front of my daily life again.

It was frustrating. It was unfair. But even that injustice felt cowardly. Tears trickled down and soaked my cheeks, and I could not spit out anything except crying, even though the gun was pointing at me.

One of the guns the soldier was holding flashed. The sound of the silencer's firing pierced the ear. And slowly lost his mind. Between the beeping tinnitus, I could see Kang Soo-ryeon crying and screaming, and people looking at me contemptuously.

And Chae-yeon was crying as she looked at me with the same eyes as her parents died that day.

Ah.

The view slowly darkens.

* * *

"Are you sure you got your hair done?"

"The recruit shot it."

The soldier spat down the gun. And I looked at Kang Soo-ryeon screaming with a slightly annoyed face. The sweetness that he had shown before was gone.

"Hurry up and take it."