I'm still alive

The meeting square was full of cars. The incoming car would have been stuck in a tight parking lot, and the stopping car would have been trapped by an unmoving road. And isolated people are very easily targeted. I couldn't see the fine car. There were many cars with doors open, as if they were trying to run away when they attacked.

But most of the cars had broken windows and were dotted with frozen, dried blood and flesh. I can see the situation clearly in front of my eyes as if it were a scene in a movie. People who run away screaming are blocked by cars and torn and eaten.

Those who are terrified in the car are also dragged out and eaten by their attacks. This was an isolated hell. And it was the hell that had already passed. When the half-opened baby seat came into view, I turned my eyes as if I had seen something I wouldn't see.

The gap between the car and the car was too narrow. At first, there was a gap enough for a person to pass by, but the closer he approached the rest area, the narrower the gap between the car and the car. Shall we get up on the car and pass by? I thought I'd do it, but I shook my head because of the guys I saw from time to time.

After all, you have to crawl. I carried my backpack sideways, crawling under the car so naturally. A sigh comes out of itself. Now it has reached the point where it is more comfortable under the car. Hugging a gun, crawling hard in a forward burst. I had to stay as far away from them as possible, so I looked at both sides and front and back.

Sometimes I could see a bridge stalling far away, probably stuck in a narrow car gap. Still, I felt that I should not provoke them for no reason, so the place where such people are located has become as far away as possible. It also sounded less and safer than walking.

But I couldn't help it because of my physical strength. I crawled hard, but I was slow compared to walking, and my body quickly became tired. The chest and trousers were moistened by the snow. I sweated my beads and tried not to lose direction.

The parking lot was really wide. I probably didn't know it was short if I walked, but it felt really wide when I crawled with sweat. We passed the halfway point. I thought about heading to my destination through the exit of the rest area, but as I passed by, I kept looking towards the rest area.

Maybe it was because of the falling drinking water. The empty bucket bothered me. Because of the high calories and moisture you consume, the water you bring in fills quickly decreases. I had no intention of saving water because I thought it would be over when I ran out of energy.

Perhaps all this remaining water will be gone after tomorrow. I stopped crawling for a while. And I took water and biscuits out of my bag to think about it and take a rest. Wiping sweat drops from his sleeves, he stuffed the boring biscuits from his bag into his mouth. Then he drank half a barrel of water at a gulp, and passed the rest of the biscuits in his mouth.

I finished my meal quickly. And thought for a long time with a gun. There was no guarantee that drinking water would be available on the way to Seoul National University. It is already a high-consumption water, and problems arise if it is not supplied from time to time.

Of course, there was no guarantee that there would be water in the rest area, but it is still a rest area. Without looting, there would be an appropriate amount of goods. And the rest stop on the outside was quiet, and they didn't exist near the door. Okay, let's just check and come back. If it's dangerous, you can crawl back under the car and run away.

I crawled hard out of the parking lot. Cars existed near the rest area even though it was not a parking area. But in a clearly spacious space, I slipped out of the car carefully and held out my head. Behind me I could see the cars that I had crawled hard past, and in front of me I could see a large rest stop building.

I got up carefully and ran to the front of the stairs. Then I crouched down in front of the stairs and lowered my posture. And I found something strange when I was looking at the entrance of the rest stop building while showing my face. All the glass doors at the rest stop were covered with newspapers. Artificial traces were evident. Is there a person inside?

I slowly took off my shoes and put them on one side of the stairs so as not to make footsteps. Then crept up to the entrance of the rest area. The entrance of the glass door to the rest area was blocked by newspapers, making it difficult to check inside.

I looked into it for a long time and found something strange again. The rest area's doorknob is locked with chains several times. The chain was tightly sealed with a strong lock, not rusty and a strong new product. I was fiddling with the lock and I had to stop acting.

'Put the gun down.'

A really cold, cold tone stuck a dagger in my eardrum. It was a small voice, but it was powerful and strong. I could feel a cold object in the back of my head that was thought to be a gunshot. I gulp down and slowly drop my hand holding the chain.

When I put my hands down, the gunpoint presses my head again. Knowing that it was a warning, I carefully put down the gun I was holding. Then slowly raised both hands. I didn't even feel any sign of approaching behind me.

He came up like a shadow and thrust a gun into my head. Far from the sound of footsteps, he didn't even feel any signs of popularity. I'm shocked but my heart is pounding because I'm afraid he'll fire a gun right away.

'Turn back.'

The voice made me turn carefully. Then what came into sight immediately was an old shotgun aimed at my forehead. The wooded part was slightly changed in color, but it never looked funny. The shotgun was shining sharply on the gun with a seasoned look.

He looked at my face and slowly lowered the mask he was wearing. With the mask down, he was a gray-haired old man. What was applied to his face was black, and his eyes were shining sharply. Smaller than me, but full of force that could not be recklessly done. A fierce look froze me, and the act of skill slowly moved me away from the door.

He aimed at me and stole the gun I put down on the floor. And he told me.

'Are they?'

I naturally couldn't get the gist of the conversation and answered in a daze.

'What?'

Then he frowns. He came up to me and grabbed me by the collar as I slowly backed away at the look. I was badly dragged by him by the strength of an old man. He asked again, still pointing the gun at me.

Where are you from?

I couldn't answer. Because I thought it was a question that implies many meanings.

Then he poked me in the forehead with his gun, as if he were going to shoot me at once. I frowned at the light pain, and he forced me to answer with his sharply shining eyes. I answered in a quivering voice.

'They're... they're... Do you know where it is?’

It was just a hunch. Who are these guys that this old man is talking about? You're not talking about that walking monster. Then he would be referring to another survivor, who at least harmed himself if the old man was a survivor with such a hostile reaction.

In this situation, there could be no conflict between survivors. Of course, there was no guarantee that the old men were the ones I was looking for. But I had a feeling that what the old man said and who I was looking for might be the same. So while I was thinking about what to say, I felt like I didn't know.

The old man's eyes slowly changed from hostility to doubt. And he looked at the guys wandering around in the parking lot and then he told me again with a impatient face.

'Follow me.'

And violently, I broke my hand, turned it back, and pushed it forward slowly. I was pushed by him and walked slowly in the direction he wanted. The direction he went was behind the rest stop.

At first, I thought about running away. As long as they were in the parking lot, I wondered if the old man would shoot. A gun is a means to kill me at once. But there's never been anything more frightening than noise here. a double-edged sword I was sure the old man wouldn't be able to shoot a gun.

But I was simply dragged away. Because the old man's words kept ringing in his ears. There was no information. In that situation, I had to listen to anything, and I had to know. A dimly visible lantern in the mist of nothing being seen must follow whatever it is.

Those guys, who the old man is talking about. Why are you asking me if they're them? And why you ask me where I'm from. Everything flutters from head to head like a puzzle. The clues to the liver as if they would be matched stimulate my nerves sensitively.

The back of the rest area was full of trash. Skillfully footed away the rubbish, the old man pushed me forward. And he asked briefly if he had seen the bandage around my ear. 'Did I bite you?' I shook my head gently. They don't just bite. The old man obviously didn't know their situation well.

Then the old man pushed me again and pointed to the destination. An old ladder hung on one wall. Slowly raising his head, the ladder was facing the roof. The old man still pointed the gun at my head and said,

'Go up.'

I swallowed my saliva and grabbed the ladder by hand.

* * *

As we climbed the ladder, what we could see was a fairly wide rooftop and people gathered on one side. Tents showing if they were living here and a crude house made of boxes and newspapers were seen. In a good way, it was a house, a partition made to block the wind.

Approximately eight people walked up to me as I came up to the roof. I expected it, but I felt it was not a favor but a sense of hostility and vigilance. After a while the old man came up the ladder, and unlike before, he didn't aim a gun at my head.

They in front of me were wary of me. But I was just as wary of them as I was. I rolled my eyes and tried to grasp them as quickly as possible. Five men, three women. Hair tangled up in dirty clothes. And the faces that feel tired and the last extreme hunger around them.

'Give me that bag first.'

said the man who was staring at me at the head. It was strangely shabby to see him glaring at me with an iron pipe from where he came from. But a look full of desire strongly stimulated my nerves. He told me to put out my goods with confidence. But people around him didn't stop him.

The rest of the men came up to the side of the man with iron pipes and stared at my bag, while the three women were scaring themselves near it for no reason. But their eyes were filled with the same desire.

Humans show the same side of them when the extreme situation approaches. I looked to my side at the thought of taking the gun from the old man and protecting me. But the old man came up to me before I knew it and was pointing a shotgun at them.

'Get out.'

The old man was pointing a gun at them, not me. I was confused for a moment, but when I saw their eyes on the old man, I accepted slightly but small. They were afraid of the old man. The old man probably belonged here, but he didn't seem to be welcomed by them.

They were blinded by their desire, but unable to approach them for fear of guns. The man in the lead said a little louder.

You mean, let's starve to death together?’

But the old man did not answer. Just keeping a sharp look in his eyes, he was pointing a shotgun at them. The man frowned and entered his tent to see if he could not fight the gun without shaking as if he would shoot if it didn't turn off.

The rest of the people also sneaked out of their seats to see if there were any cans to attack him as long as the man was in. The old man, who had been pointing his gun for so long, slowly lowered the gun when they all disappeared. And he looked at me and said,

'Follow me.'

Then fearlessly passed me and trudged into a tent set up alone in that corner. Maybe it's the tent where the old man is staying. The tent standing alone like a loner seemed shabby, as if to say I was different from them.

I walked along the old man. When the old man opened the tent, a warm energy covered his face. There was a small iron can in the middle of the tent. Where did you get it? There were dry firewoods on it. It seems that the smoke is going out through a small hole on the tent, but the fire is kept small, so there was not much smoke either.

The old man was sitting on a chair in front of the fire and looking at me. and said, pointing to another chair.

'Sit down.'

I was still confused by the sudden change of attitude of the old man. However, he soon stepped forward to the fire and sat down in a portable chair. Dry the wet clothes with snow slowly, and melt the cold stiff body. I could feel my sharp nerves slowly getting numb to the heat I felt after a long time.

'How did you get through the parking lot?’

The old man told me. As I warmed myself before the fire, I looked at the old man in surprise at the sudden question. The old man never spoke twice. He was just looking at me with a sharp look.

Can't you get past it?’

I answered like that. It was just a pure question, not a sarcastic one. I passed, but why can't you? The old man frowns at the answer he gave in the pure sense whether he heard it differently. And I open my mouth, and there was a slight sense of impatience, not sharpness.

'The gap was too narrow to get past them. So I thought it would be nice to move up the car and two people died that day.’

I was relieved inside. As expected, the choice to climb onto the car was not good. And I was worried. Are these fools? Or is he pretending he doesn't know? Have you ever tried this method?

'I crawled under the car.’

I spoke calmly. At first, I was going to hide the facts, but I realized that the elderly had a situational leadership, that the elderly were more favorable to me than I thought, and eventually told the old man the truth. As soon as he heard my answer, the old man moaned and closed his eyes.

And after a long time with his eyes closed, he asked me.

'Is that possible? Don't they react?’

As expected, he was right. The old man seems to have no idea how to crawl under the car. While I thought they were stupid, I thought carefully that they might be. If it weren't for Chae-yeon, I wouldn't have known it was safe under the car. Who would've thought it would be dark under their feet just because it was dark under the lamp?

'You know how to get around them, don'’

The old man held out a cup for me. It was an attitude that changed so favorably that I couldn't believe it was an old man who was pointing a gun at me at first. I felt doubtful, but soon I had a rough idea of this intention, and I nodded in the cup.

Then I took it to my mouth and drank it carefully. Warm coffee slowly spreads through the body on the neck. I breathed out my tiredness and coldness. I felt like I would live after a long time. The old man closed his eyes until I drank half a cup of coffee.

When I saw something serious, I held my breath and looked at my gun on one side. Shall we run and catch him? I thought, "Shall we run away?" But I didn't want to give up this little clue. I opened my mouth and asked the old man.

Who were those guys you said before?’

I had a small expectation. Then hope you get a little clue. The old man looked at the fire for a moment without answering. And he smacked his lips and replied to me.

'I'm after them.’

I asked reflexively as soon as I heard the answer.

'Are you a human?'

And the old man said, a little surprised by my quick answer.

'Of course.

Having heard the answer, I was now outspoken.

Did they say they're rescuers?’

The old man stood up in a flash and pointed a shotgun at me with sharp eyes. I felt my heart beat. Not because the shotgun pointed at me or felt danger.

'Who are you?

노인은 엽총을 총구를 나에게 들이밀며 눈을 날카롭게 빛냈다. 노인은 긍정도 부정도 말하지 않았지만, 행동으로 내 질문이 긍정임을 보여 주고 있었다.

나는 침을 꿀꺽 삼켰다. 그리고 엽총 총구를 바라보며 물었다.

‘그들이 어디 있는지 알아요?’

그러자 총구를 내 이마 앞에 들이밀며 말했다.

‘내 질문에나 대답해!’

노인의 손은 이상하게 떨리고 있었다. 격한 심정변화를 겪는 듯 굳은 표정에서 복잡한 심리를 느꼈다. 하지만 나 또한 마찬가지였다. When I thought of Chae-yeon, my heart beat like crazy. Loneliness and loneliness. And longing makes me desperate.

I felt like I finally found a small clue in the fog. I answered the old man in a quivering voice.

'I'm after them, too.’

I could feel the old man's surprise. I got up slowly at the gunshot that was creeping down. And looked at the old man with desperate eyes. The old man bowed his head with his mouth shut. The fire in the tent flared up as if to represent the feelings. The old man held up his feelings as if he were holding something back and opened his mouth for a while.

'They took my granddaughter.’

There was a thunderbolt to my head. The old man clearly said, 'I've got him.' The speculation that had been made was now becoming clear. I clenched my fist. Then he bit his lips tightly. I felt a lump in my throat.

Anger and impatience. And it was the tension I felt before running. I said, looking at the old man with a stiff face.

'You asked me earlier, didn't you? Is it possible to avoid them? I can do it.’

In the meantime, hellish moments have now returned to the only key to overcoming difficulties. I looked at the old man and said,

'Tell me where they are. I'll take you.’

The old man slowly put down the shotgun. The old man I saw now looked skinny and weak. And he looked very sad. He was just an ordinary grandfather who loved his granddaughter.