I Swear I Won’t Bother You Again!

A hellish sight, clinging to memory and not leaving. I never thought I'd have a nightmare seven years from now. I couldn't tell anyone about that day, and I couldn't even ask Violet.

I'm sure they all know. I know, I can't do anything about it. What can a child do to himself that an adult servant cannot do?

All Marin can do is spend a little more time with Violet. Even that would make you a grandfather if your mother called you, and in the end it doesn't do much good.

It wasn't until less than six months after Marin started working that those days marked the end.

Suddenly, Violet was visibly called less often. And instead of the room, Bellows stopped getting out of bed.

And at the end of the day, I stopped even getting up.

I don't talk to anyone. I don't look anybody in the eye. Just call our lord Old's name like a rumor.

"Dear Violet... are you okay?

"I... I'm okay"

Violet's hair, sitting on the bench in the garden, swayed in the wind.

I stopped going to Bellows and Violet changed visibly. My hair has grown a little, and my tone and outfit have gradually changed.

So for the first time, Marin found out that Violet was a girl.

That's the identity of the discomfort I've felt for a long time. For a boy who had reached the age of ten, he had an unreliably thin impression of a wrist peeking from his sleeve, a neck visible from a gap in his hair, and a waist seen from above his clothes.

She's quite tall, but fleshy is a woman's. So, until a while ago, I thought she was a thin boy with a line, but now she's just a beautiful girl, no matter where she looks from.

And Bellows, too, I guess that didn't bother you.

My daughter, whom I loved as Old, becomes a woman. Unable to take that natural phenomenon, she escaped from her real-life dreams to the hope of shards. I guess I've already forgotten the shadows and shapes about Violet bouncing out of my dreams.

"Sorry, Marin"

"Huh...?

"With my endurance, I've shown a world I don't even want to know about"

If you didn't want to know, I think you're right. I gave up on my parents a long time ago, when they abandoned me. That's why I was dreaming about other people's families.

A kind mother, a stern father. But when you get angry, it's your mother who's scared, and your father sometimes has something sweet about his daughter.

Such happiness should be common in the world.

A father who abandoned his house, a mother who overlaps her husband with her daughter, and one daughter left in reality in a large mansion.

"Why..."

I didn't want to know about a world like this.

"Why did you hire me?"

Little girl just a little older, with no edges or connections. No family, no money, no upbringing. There's nothing superior about it, a thin dirty homeless kid.

I haven't been able to work to be guaranteed food and shelter, and even now, there are many reasons to kick me out.

"What do you expect from me…"

Nothing, nothing can be done. You can't jump out of that sight, but you can't get Violet out of that hell.

Being so narrow-minded and powerless that I remembered the jealousy, on the contrary, of Violet, who is supposed to be honored as a benefactor.

What the hell do you want from a helpless self?

"... its eyes"

"... eyes?

"Because I thought those eyes were beautiful."

Straight at Marin, looking into his eyes, Violet said so.

Marine red eyes. Proof of betrayal, which shaped Marin's life.

I hated my own eyes.

I can't do anything about being abandoned, and I can't do it if my parents tell me if I can have love where I just came to pick it up. I only have distrust and disgust.

But from time to time, when I see a family coming to church, parents and children on different roads, a house with lights on it, I think.

If these eyes weren't red. I wondered if my life would have changed anything if my father and mother had a similar, problem-free color.

"I didn't like red eyes. Mother's watching me."

Father over Violet, a loving mother. I wonder why you seem to be dirtier than your own mother, who has relationships with other than her husband, when it's supposed to be all the way, not infidelity.

I remember the side of my insanity and the nausea comes back that day.

"So I was surprised to see Marin's eyes... because it's such a beautiful color"

Violet, with her hips up, stands in front of Marin beside her. Slowly stretched fingertips touched the eye area from the gap in the forehead.

A girl with the same eyes as her mother was falling behind her home.

I felt that blurry open red light, not the usual poppy discomfort of licking my neck muscles. A bright red sunset, a color that begins the countdown to liberation. Though it may be a goodbye to letting go of love for my mother, it is a moment of hope for Violet that lies will end.

"Because it was too bright and a beautiful red. I couldn't help but notice."

I thought the colour with the adhesive like heating iron was red. My mother's obsession and blind faith seem to be tangled around her body, and her breathlessness as if she were slowly closed her neck.

I was wondering if I would get dragged down one day.

"That's why I wanted you to stay on my side. If you look into Marin's eyes, it's not the same."

It's not the same. With what thoughts, I wonder what words you uttered. Does it mean you're someone else even with the same red eyes?

Or does it mean that even parents and children are not the same?

"You think that's a reason to keep it down?

Others would laugh in disdain because they just thought those eyes were beautiful, even though it was a ridiculous reason for a child to be ten years old.

The fact is, it may be too easy to get every person to live and work.

"But... to me, the world was so important that it changed. When I look at Marin, I think he might not have to catch me in the red eye."

The hand I touch is small, the look I see from the front is much younger than I thought, and I realize this kid is a younger child than I am. Marin herself is not an adult enough to call Violet a child, but she is no stranger to being weaker than herself, who was born just a few years early.

"I'm sorry I got involved, I'm sorry I let you hang out... if you wanted to quit, I wouldn't stop you"

Sadly, lonely, but the smile I forced myself to make by pushing it in is distorted.

You can't reach out if you don't go, even if you speak of the desire to be on your side.

Without someone to make it happen, the hope is the same as garbage. Even if you want someone to hold your thoughts, that person is nowhere to be found. In repeating such a thing, it is imprinted that you do not get everything you seek, not a hope that cannot be fulfilled.

The figure was very similar to Marin's as a daughter, who ended in only four years.

A self bounced out of an unloved world and a violet who can't escape an unloved world. Knowing the same world, we are moving ahead with different results everywhere.

I got ridiculous thinking which is happier.

Someone would call happiness the former Sister who escapes her parents who don't give her love and gives her fraternity. Someone would call a noble lady with wealth and power happy, even if she is not loved. Someone would refer to the fact of life as happiness.

People can easily call someone happy. When you look down there is no cut, and there are many more miserable people than Marin and Violet, you trample on your heart by pretending to comfort them.

I have seen such a man, God, in that sincere church. I don't need the happiness of laughing at the painful wound as a mistake, although I was a true good man, soft and gentle.

We are never happy.

Both herself, unloved and abandoned by her parents, and her being attached to distorted paranoia.

So I'm sure this is sympathy.

"... I won't quit"

I miss the girl too much to stand by without crying alone. The fact that no one is supposed to support her back hurts.

Even if I couldn't stand next to him, when Violet looked back, I wished I had someone to smile at.

And if her parents abandon it, she says she should be able to take that seat.

"I'm on your side, all the time. To you... Violet, it's a saved life."

It was undoubtedly this little hand that saved Marin that day. If Violet had turned that way then, Marin's whole life could have ended at that point.

It was Violet who saved Marin's life and is still disconnected.

Nutritious meals, clean clothes, clean water, warm futons.

I thought loyalty to God alone would fix everything. The Church was an orphan over capacity and always impoverished. Life was average when I was still pinched between my family, but more comfortable than any other life I've ever had. All kinds of treatment, all the pressure on your mind.

If you don't, you can laugh.

He told me he hated these eyes, they were beautiful. I can't believe the word, the little kindness, is going to be the cut of everything.

Middle of the heart, center of life. Makes a noise. That's where it has soft heat.

I want to stay on your side. I want to tell her that you're beautiful.

This must have been sympathy, indisputable, and Marin's first love.

Not only Violet, but Marin as well, because the world changed that day.

× × × ×

I was discussing the menu for breakfast tomorrow and the time to get back to my room was later than usual. I would worry about Violet if it was made in the morning and even in the neighborhood.

"Ah, plans for tomorrow..."

She said she was going out after school, so it would be a little late for her return. Open your favorite schedule book and edit the time allotment you already expected to have to some extent.

The sound of metal scratching the paper makes me see a fountain pen that fits in my hand. The cherry blossom color seems too cute for me to use, but I'm sure I won't change it for the rest of my life.

In honor of turning twenty, what Violet gave me.

I will grow up and Violet will be seventeen already.

For seven years, starting with sympathy, I was on my side the whole time, as I said that day. I've seen her get slightly distorted with her crisply selfish parents.

Compassion replaces love and becomes more important every day. The more Marin takes care of it, the harder it is for Violet not to be taken care of, and the more abominable they are.

(Looks happy, good)

Someone who is good at suppressing emotions and killing them, and rarely gives them a look. Marin can't talk about people either, but in her own case, the emotional ups and downs are few in themselves.

Such a violet seemed unusual and delightful, and the supper seats, which would be melancholy, seemed not to have entered in a good way. None of the guys present had noticed, but they would just drool some sermon where they noticed. If you don't take Violet's emotions into account anyway, it would still be beneficial if you hadn't noticed one thing.

When asked why, he promised to go out with Yulan.

I know about Yulan Kugles. We've met each other via Violet, but we've hardly talked about it. Marin's knowing Yulan is about the impression he got from watching him with Violet and what he says and does that comes out of Violet's story.

The name and face match, and we have some information, but the relationship is not so different from others.

Still, the trust that Marin had in Yulan was made of such strong certainty that they deserved to call each other.

Between those who cherish Violet.

between those who desire her happiness more strongly than anything else.

When it comes to going out on your own, you have to think about it a little bit, but if Yulan were with you, he would also protect you from troublesome favors. With all that attention, Violet doesn't understand what she looks like correctly. You can't even be aware of that in a house that's not even called a name, but if you go outside, it doesn't matter if you're aware or not, people are attracted to Violet.

"Should I reduce the amount for dinner..."

He'll be back in time for dinner, but if he's coming for something, we need to reduce the amount for the Lord, who's a snack.

Write down the precautions to remember and put them on tomorrow's clothes. As soon as they enter the bed, they will be attacked by drowsiness.

In the consciousness of slowly falling into the world of dreams, I hoped that tomorrow's Violet would return with a smile.