I Swear I Won’t Bother You Again!

Violet originally lacked the ability to avoid people overwhelmingly. Although that is correct in a way, it is complicated to think that the reason was more often avoidable. And yet I don't really want to save my life wearing the art of closing my heart.

Still, I have the technology to cut through with minimal AC. It has been used separately by time, case and opponent, whether to listen without heart or flee the scene for good reason.

But that's because I don't care.

It's good to know what they're talking about, what they want to tell you, what impressions they have. The words of those who speak of Violet as they please and proclaim it to be for Violet are always empty. Likewise, an empty response was made. Because I didn't have a dialogue, and I didn't think it was necessary.

When you face them directly from the front, when you don't want to hurt them, when you want to face them sincerely. I don't know what to do... because I never thought about it.

"Vio, I found you."

"... Yu, Run"

I don't know how to protect this soft smile.

× × × ×

Just a little, I was relieved. Yulan didn't come to visit Violet until after school, so I was wondering if I'd have to see her today. Tomorrow, I thought you might be able to face it a little more calmly.

I was thinking about something as foolishly optimistic as that.

"... what's wrong?

"Uh... uh, yeah, it's nothing"

A slight confusion seems to have appeared in a flash of expression.

I'm sure it's a change to such an extent that none other than Yulan will notice, and that's why it's the only thing I can show you in front of him. That's why I didn't want to see you.

I think to myself like that, I'm going to throw up.

"Isn't Yulan what you wanted?

"Um, I mean, for"

I swallowed the discomfort that seemed to bite my lips off and was careful not only with my expression but also with my choice of words.

The feeling of consciousness in a manner close to coercion has not been able to be eliminated or removed. It's just a frightening situation knowing it's there and thinking about countermeasures while watching. Even though it would be easier if they took it out and wiped it clean and refreshing, I snuck at every wrinkle in my brain. That seems to be getting into the back.

I never imagined until yesterday that the day would come when I would be so scared to see it in my eyes.

"... I knew it"

"Huh...!

The reaction was delayed at the approaching fingertips.

The soft contact gliding underneath the tear bag makes Yulan look at how much he cares about Violet. Does it feel slightly cold because Yulan's body temperature is low, or because Violet's eyes have heat?

"Didn't sleep much yesterday?

Worried, I find that finger, merciful over and over again, more comfortable with the look on this one I'm looking at, which is going to make me remember the pain.

Faces tall enough to look up are far from the kids anymore. Completed as a youth, Yulan has already graduated from being just a cute boy. Not just to be adored, but thus, to be kind to someone.

It must be wonderful, beautiful, like proof that a pretty boy has become a nice man.

─ ─ That's what I should have been happy about.

"Vio, honey...?

"Huh...!

"What happened?"

The willingness to be put into words added weight, and there were no more question marks on the questions that sounded strong.

Something happened, something happened to Violet.

I was not surprised to be noticed. That was not the case. There was no shard in Violet's mind to be able to afford to care about it either.

"What... but I don't. It's okay."

Step back, and the warmth you were touching will also keep you away.

The smile I was forced to make must be dressed up and I'm sure I don't see it going to be okay. In fact, what's the one thing that's okay? But I don't know what's not okay, either.

"I'm gonna have to wait for you to pick me up, so I'm gonna go."

"Yeah, but"

"See you, Yulan."

I even wasted time caring about how unnatural the conversation I was forced to break off was. I also realized that I was being turned on to say something, but I didn't even have it, and I pushed my goodbyes forcefully. Even though I understood how dishonest that was about Yulan, I still wanted to disappear from before Yulan as soon as possible, even for a second.

I don't want to avoid it, the truth is, I want to rewind the path I've been looking back on right now.

But I don't know what else to do.

Yulan is happy to grow, and one day, I dream of watching him from afar. That means that one day Yulan will be able to have someone important.

That's what I should have known for a long time.

I don't want to imagine that smile, my voice, my fingertips, my heart, besides Violet.

I didn't want to notice myself like this. I just didn't want Yulan to see me with this selfish greed.