Chapter 41: Volume 1, - 41: The Conversation Ren Wasn’t In
The front door of the apartment clicked shut, shutting out the cool March dampness. Suzune slipped off her shoes at the genkan and stepped up onto the worn hardwood floor. From the kitchen, the familiar smell of simmered radish and roasted barley tea greeted her.
Keiko was at the small dining table, checking tomorrow’s pre-orders against a laminated clipboard. She looked up as Suzune hung her dark coat on the rack, her maternal gaze instantly catching the quiet weight in her daughter’s eyes.
"You’re back late," Keiko said, setting her pen down. "There’s leftover chicken and radish on the stove. Did you drink something warm at the station?"
"I had melon soda," Suzune said, walking to the sink to wash her hands. She dried them thoroughly on the hand towel, taking a moment to stare at her reflection in the small bathroom mirror down the hall before returning. "At Jonathan’s. With Kisaragi-san."
Keiko tilted her head, watching Suzune fill a mug with hot tea. "You look tired, Suzune. Did something happen?"
"Not an argument," Suzune said softly, pulling out a chair and sitting opposite her mother. She set her phone on the table face up. The screen lit up briefly with a notification, but she didn’t flip it over or tap the glass. She just stared at it. "He told me the truth about his past."
Keiko poured herself a fresh cup of tea and waited without pushing.
"He was in consumer debt," Suzune explained, her fingers tracing the ceramic handle of her mug. "About one point eight million yen at its worst. His father’s business collapsed, they lost their savings and his university tuition fund, and he tried to borrow money to cover everything himself. He had to leave university and he still owes a substantial balance."
Keiko’s eyebrows rose slightly, a flicker of worry crossing her face before settling into quiet reflection. "That’s a heavy burden for someone his age. But he’s running an office now, isn’t he?"
"The estate arrangement changed his circumstances quickly, but the debt is still there," Suzune said. "And that’s not what hurt me, Mum. He kept it hidden. He admitted today that he hid it because of shame, because he didn’t want me looking at him like a failure."
Keiko took a slow sip of tea, considering her words carefully. "I understand being ashamed. But if every time he’s ashamed, he decides what you’re allowed to know, you’ll get tired of it."
Suzune looked down. "That’s almost exactly what I told him."
Her phone buzzed against the table. A group notification from Aya and Haruka. Suzune picked it up and tapped out a brief message asking if they were free for a quick call. Within ten seconds, her phone screen illuminated with an incoming group video call.
Suzune stood up, taking her mug into her bedroom, and propped her phone against a desk mirror. On the screen, Aya’s face appeared first, framed by her modern apartment kitchen, followed immediately by Haruka, who was sitting on her bed in comfortable pyjamas.
"You said you were meeting Kisaragi-san tonight," Aya said without preamble, her sharp eyes scanning Suzune’s expression. "You look like you just finished a shift at four in the morning. What did he say?"
Suzune took a breath and laid out the facts plainly: the original ¥1.8 million debt, leaving university, his father’s collapse, the remaining balance, and how Ren had managed the information to keep up appearances.
Aya listened with a deepening frown, her pen tapping rhythmically against her desk. "Wait a minute, Suzune. So he has massive personal debt, dropped out of university, and yet he opened a consulting firm and hired an employee?"
"The estate arrangement changed his circumstances quickly—" Suzune began.
"He tells you half the story for weeks, then gives you one big confession at Jonathan’s," Aya interrupted, her tone bristling with protective suspicion. "I’m supposed to stop worrying after that? Suzune, are you sure you aren’t being dazzled by the fancy title?"
Suzune felt a surge of defensive annoyance prickle beneath her skin. "I’m not being dazzled, Aya. I was already questioning all of this before he asked to meet me."
"How did he act when you called him out?" Haruka asked gently from her side of the screen.
"He started off giving me numbers and dates," Suzune admitted, softening her tone. "That’s what he does when he’s scared. He starts talking in numbers. When I told him he was deciding what version of reality I was allowed to see, he got defensive. He said we weren’t even dating and that he never technically lied to me."
"Typical," Aya muttered under her breath.
"But then he stayed," Suzune added firmly, looking directly into Aya’s icon on the screen. " He stayed at the table. He listened to me tell him he was wrong, and he admitted it. He didn’t blame his father for every bad choice, and he didn’t try to use his business success or buy me something expensive to make it easier."
"He stayed after you called him out?" Haruka asked.
"Yes," Suzune said.
Haruka nodded. "That’s good I guess. So what do you want to do?"
Suzune leaned back against her chair, staring at the ceiling. "That’s what scares me. An office, the estate arrangement, clients, an employee. Everything keeps changing. His world is moving so fast, and my life is still here. The bakery, Mum and Dad, ordinary plans with you two. I like him. I told him that today."
Aya softened slightly, sighing. "Suzune..."
"I don’t want to wake up six months from now and realise I became a passenger in Kisaragi-san’s story," Suzune said, the thought solidifying into a clear, unwavering boundary in her mind.
"So what are you going to do?" Haruka asked softly.
"I’m going to keep seeing him," Suzune said. "But on my terms. If something in his life could affect me, I need him to tell me before it does. And if I say no to something, I don’t want him acting like I’m leaving him." Suzune looked down at her hands. "I still want my own time. I still want the bakery. I still want you two."
Aya watched her for a long moment before giving a small, reluctant nod. "Alright. If he steps out of line or tries to manage you again, you tell us immediately."
"I will," Suzune said with a small, genuine smile.
After hanging up, Suzune walked back out to the dining room. Keiko was putting away the leftovers. She looked up at her daughter, noticing the subtle shift in her posture. The quiet clarity that had replaced her earlier anxiety.
"You talked to Aya and Haruka?" Keiko asked.
"I did," Suzune said, helping her mother wipe down the table. "I’m going to see him again, Mum. But I’m taking my time."
"Then take your time," Keiko said. "If he’s serious, he can handle that."
Later, sitting on the edge of her bed in her pyjamas, Suzune picked up her phone. She opened LINE and pulled up her chat with Ren. The screen showed their brief exchange from yesterday.
Her fingers hovered over the keyboard for a moment before she typed out her message:
Suzune: I’m not done being angry. But I still want to see you.
Suzune hit send, watched the message register, then set her phone face down on the nightstand, turning off her desk lamp to go to sleep.