Afterwards, I left the room because Count Baum was going back to work... and I just wanted to tidy up a little bit inside my head and went to the garden towards the outer palace.
I hear signs and voices of people coming and going, but it's a hidden place where people don't come and go.
The maids know and other people come in, but it's a place that people who visit the castle don't know much about, so it's a great place to think and calm down when you want to.
After a long maid's life, I'd be grateful to know that everyone has a place to breathe. Yeah.
"... hah..."
As soon as I sat on the bench, a big sigh came out of my mouth.
I thought I shouldn't, but I'm kind of tired, so I can't help it.
Count Baum was talking to me about things... honestly, even though my head was completely white and the contents were in my ear, I felt like... I was about to slip out.
Nevertheless, thanks to many years of maid life, I should have been able to answer properly!
And thank you for your expression!!
The maid's expression, what she kept, was a gift of her daily routine!
If you look up at the sky, there is no cloud in the blue sky.
I was vague about how beautiful the stars look tonight.
(I'm sure it's true that Aldar met Mr. Murietta...)
I don't even know if it's just the two of us because they used the word "visit".
I suppose you just met the official.
I don't know what that's like for Aldar, but why is that?
How did Count Baum know that?
In the rest of the conversation, I received the "visit" with her, as Count Baum instructed me to do, but I wasn't sure.
Although I have asked questions several times, my chest feels slightly more distracted because I have been distracted.
If you say so, you want me to be responsible from start to finish!?
Halfway through is the hardest part, really!
(... no. No, it's okay.)
Aldar promised me that he would 'tell me everything'.
I couldn't talk about it, but Ardar smiled that he could talk about it all because he had finished something I didn't know.
I was just upset that Count Baum gave me extra information first!
(Yes... it's okay. You can calm down here for a while, then go back to your room and wait for Aldar to pick you up.)
If I go back to my room now, I'm going to think of something extra.
In a garden with signs of people and gentle winds and colorful flowers, the feeling is a little more relaxing.
I think I understand why Sebastian was worried and why the Queen Dowager should tell Count Baum...
Somewhat neglectful of others' subtlety.
That's why I thought Aldar would say "clumsy."
I know you're not a bad person, but come on!
(... what if Aldar hadn't mentioned this before?)
Maybe you should ask me, and I'm sure Aldar will talk to you.
Still somewhere in your heart, what if you don't tell me?
What have you been doing?
Were you alone?
Was she sweet to you?
It's going to get stuck like that.
... no, it's about me without feelings, it must be painful to be unable to say it with such thoughts.
(You have to calm down at these times.)
You can tell me if you ask. I believe in Aldar.
These two parts should not be mistaken.
Even if I stepped on two feet cowardly in love without feelings, if I only knew that, I would be able to handle it.
Just, yeah.
For now, I just want to calm down.
I just want to calm down this feeling of uncertainty and anxiety.
(... why shouldn't you think about it?)
I'm sure you'll be able to tell me the answer from now on.
You know that, but you don't have to be afraid.
I know exactly what Aldar loves and cares about me.
I'm sorry I was so scared, and I understand that it's rude to doubt him.
But what about the mind?
It's going to get so rough and runaway.
(Still, I've made progress.)
It seems like a lie that I wasn't even confident that Aldar had chosen me until a short while ago.
I still don't feel confident about myself as a woman, but I do understand that I am still loved.
So, calm down, listen to everything during your trip with Aldar, ask questions if you're not convinced, that's all.
This is the best way to sit on a bench in the garden and look at the flowers, following your calm desire not to remain so upset.
Beautiful flowers.
Is that anemone?The flower words change in color, right?
The gardener taught me before... that red is like a confession of love, and I wonder what happened afterwards.
I got up from the bench and walked to the flowerbed, and I dropped my gaze on Anemone.
It blooms with red, pink, white, blue and yellow, and it's shaken by the wind that soothes your eyes.
When I saw someone coming to the garden and I loved the flowers with a hard time remembering the flower words, I turned to them.
"... Yulia-sama?"
There was Murietta, who looked tired.
I inadvertently took a breath and stared silently at her, but I smiled to mislead the upset.
Is it like a little pride as an adult?
Somehow, I thought I wanted to show her a spare attitude before I saw her.
"Good evening, Mr Murietta. Are you returning to work as a healer? Good day."
"... thank you."
To my words, Murietta answered without expression.
Are you afraid of a pretty girl's faceless expression?
(... even though I'm probably tired...)
Aren't you tired of doing that?
It's not a good look for a teenage girl.
I didn't know if the healer was that hard, but she looked tired rather than worried about me.
She was supposed to always have an innocent atmosphere. She built a neighborhood under her eyes, and her sparkling eyes were more glamorous than anything else.
"Hey, Yulia, you were in the military wing earlier."
Huh?
"I saw you, too, because I had to go to the military building as a healer.You had a meeting with the General. "
"... yeah, that's right."
If you had been watched so far, it would have been strange to deny it badly.
I smiled and answered and showed it as if it was nothing.
But Murietta smiled at it.
I've never seen a smile before.
Well then, I'm sure Julia and I have heard that you and I met together.
……
Surprised at me, she didn't look at my reaction.
But with a slightly dark smile, she looks straight at me, and I feel like she's looking at us and it's dangerous.
"Mr. Murietta...?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I have to go because they call me."
I called her name, but she quickly turned her back on me to call Mr Murietta.
And he left without looking back.
What did she come to do, just to take a break?
Or have you found me?
I wonder what I wanted to do to stop her.
I just had to stand up.