Infinite Nightmares

When Zhang Wenda said this, the flame war in the sky came to a strange halt.

But in the very next second, the world changed dramatically amidst flying sand and rolling stones.

The hardcore bullet comments from other areas vanished completely. Instead, a deluge of text—some teasing, some mocking—rained down upon the Lamp God’s head.

The Lamp God clearly hadn’t expected Zhang Wenda to use his own trick against him. He was caught completely off guard and looked utterly wretched under the ceaseless barrage of text.

"This is infuriating! The Internet World even has scammers now? How did it come to this!"

Song Jianguo came to Zhang Wenda’s side, carrying a large cat-themed umbrella on her shoulder.

"Isn’t it normal for the Internet World to have scammers? What’s so surprising? And what about you, Jianguo?"

He glanced over, confirming that Song Jianguo had just been standing on the sidelines watching the show, as if it had nothing to do with her.

"This girl..." Zhang Wenda snatched the large cat umbrella and charged toward the Lamp God.

The Lamp God saw Zhang Wenda rushing toward him and tried to fight back. However, the battle-hardened Zhang Wenda clearly knew far more terrible memes than he did. The Lamp God had no way to retaliate and was beaten into a steady retreat.

When Zhang Wenda, protected by Song Jianguo’s cat umbrella, reached the Lamp God through the downpour, he found him in a particularly miserable state.

The ceramic pot was dented all over, its bottom completely flattened and wedged between two "Mom" characters. His real body had been squeezed out like toothpaste, and his face and body were bruised, swollen, and bleeding.

Zhang Wenda looked at the wretched Lamp God and snorted coldly. He picked him up with one hand and forcibly stuffed him back into the dented pot. "You dare fight me with just this? The terrible memes I know are far beyond your league."

Although Zhang Wenda had taken the Lamp God away, the flame war they had started was far from over.

By the time Zhang Wenda reached the Aminos Prairie outside MC Dometi City, in that short while, a towering skyscraper formed from the various flame war comments had been erected at their previous location.

Once he was sure there was no danger around, Zhang Wenda removed the tightly pressed ceramic lid.

"Lamp God, you can come out now. Let’s have a chat."

The Lamp God, now bruised and swollen with broken glasses, had lost all of his previous arrogance. He looked at Zhang Wenda with a shifty gaze. "Wh-what do you want?"

Zhang Wenda looked at him and chuckled. "I don’t want anything. Don’t worry, I’m a good person."

"Tch." Song Jianguo turned her head away in disdain. ’The moment I hear that, I know this guy is up to no good.’

The Lamp God was terrified and immediately blurted out, "I did try to scam you, but I didn’t get anything! And I’m the one who got seriously hurt!"

"What kind of logic is that? Is a failed robbery not a robbery? Don’t worry, I won’t be shameless like you. I’ll just have you grant three wishes."

’Since this guy knows so many stale memes, he must be a local in this Internet World. I happen to be short a guide.’

"What’s your name?" Zhang Wenda asked.

"Jia... Junpeng," the Lamp God answered, adjusting his glasses.

"Hm?" Zhang Wenda paused. The name sounded a little familiar, but he quickly shifted the topic back to his own needs.

"Whatever, it doesn’t matter what your name is. Do you know where I can find free Qi Gong?"

Jia Junpeng was also taken aback. He hadn’t expected such a question. "Qi Gong?! What kind?"

"You know, Qi Gong. The really powerful kind, the kind that can put out an entire forest fire with a blast of energy. But others are fine too."

To help the man pinpoint a location, Zhang Wenda broadened the scope as much as possible. "A Superpower, some kind of mystic-and-science dual cultivation, whatever. As long as it can drastically increase my strength, I’ll take it. I’m not picky. The stronger, the better."

Jia Junpeng thought about it seriously, then raised his hand and said to Zhang Wenda, "Well, in that case, I’d suggest you go to a Xinhua Bookstore and buy a handgun. We must believe in science."

"Why you...!" Hearing this, Zhang Wenda’s anger flared. He waved his right hand, and a red Light Saber shot out from his flashlight.

"Do you think I’m joking? Believe it or not, I can run you through three times and leave six holes in you right now!"

"No, no, no!" Jia Junpeng waved his hands frantically and scrambled out of the pot, terrified of being skewered right through along with it.

"I... I do know a place where people share that kind of stuff. I’ll take you there right now." Seeing the weapon in Zhang Wenda’s hand, Jia Junpeng instantly learned his lesson and cut the crap.

"So you could get out on your own?" Song Jianguo curiously picked up the ceramic pot and peered inside.

After fiddling with it for a moment, she stuffed it into her clothes. "This thing’s not bad. It’s mine now!"

Zhang Wenda reached out and snatched it away. "Isn’t that obvious? I already said he’s a scammer, so his identity as a Lamp God must be fake. Of course he can get out. He probably just found this pot somewhere and had a flash of inspiration to pretend to be a Lamp God and swindle people."

"But I picked it up first!" Song Jianguo glared at Zhang Wenda, grinding her teeth.

Zhang Wenda, being thick-skinned, pretended not to see her. He turned to the hesitant Jia Junpeng. "What are you spacing out for? Lead the way."

Led by Jia Junpeng, Zhang Wenda started walking deeper into the prairie. Along the way, he carefully studied his prize: Jia Junpeng’s ceramic pot.

He discovered the inside was incredibly spacious. When he put his backpack in, it only took up a tiny corner.

No matter how large an item was, it would rapidly shrink as it was placed into the pot’s opening, making it very convenient to store and retrieve things.

He roughly estimated that the pot could hold at least several hundred pounds of stuff. Best of all, since the ceramic pot had been flattened, it fit perfectly into his pocket.

Aside from the resentful glare from Song Jianguo and the sorrowful, indignant stare from Jia Junpeng, it was absolutely perfect.

’This Internet World is really something else,’ Zhang Wenda thought to himself. ’It’s dangerous, but you can’t deny it’s full of good stuff.’

He followed Jia Junpeng through the Aminos Prairie, stopping and starting for nearly an hour. Just when he was beginning to think the man was messing with him, they stopped in front of a patch of grass that was taller than a person.

"It’s in there." Jia Junpeng was about to enter the tall grass but was stopped by Zhang Wenda. "Hold on. Jianguo, have your cats scout ahead."

The two cats quickly went in. A moment later, they came back out, placing their paws on Song Jianguo’s leg and meowing.

"What’s inside?" Zhang Wenda asked.

But Song Jianguo looked confused. "I’m not quite sure myself. Charcoal and Blackie are saying there’s a very, very big tree inside."

"A tree?" Zhang Wenda glanced at the not-so-tall grass, seeking confirmation.