Chapter 382 - 395: The Daughter You Wanted
Niao Niao and her mother had met An Guoping and An Ning once before.
At the time, when An Ning and An Guoping came to register for the college entrance exam, they had been looked down upon by Niao Niao and her mother—or to be more precise, by Niao Niao’s mother.
Just then, Niao Niao’s mother started yanking on her hand. Niao Niao, who kept her head bowed, felt a twinge of pain. She tried to pull free but couldn’t, so she had no choice but to keep trailing after her mother.
"Don’t worry about some punk who just popped out of nowhere. Pay him no mind. You’re definitely going to do great!"
"Niao Niao, you’ll definitely do great."
Niao Niao’s mother muttered incessantly, failing to notice her daughter’s head sinking lower and lower, her expression pained, and her breathing growing labored.
"Mom... what if I don’t do well?"
"What are you talking about? Niao Niao, you’re the best student there is. This is what you excel at. How could you possibly not do well?"
Niao Niao’s words were completely ignored. The pair finally arrived at the athletic field, in front of the large results boards. Several teachers and school administrators were already there, waiting.
"Teacher Wen—"
Niao Niao’s mother called out to her daughter’s homeroom teacher. Teacher Wen walked over with a gentle expression, her gaze first falling on the still-bowed Niao Niao.
"Lin Niaoniao, are you alright?"
"What could possibly be wrong with her? All she does day in and day out is study. She’s just anxious to see her results, that’s all."
Niao Niao’s mother once again cut the teacher off, barreling on with her own questions. "So what’s our Niao Niao’s score? She did quite well, right? When it comes to her studies, she’s the one thing I never have to worry about."
Teacher Wen kept trying to answer Niao Niao’s mother, but she couldn’t get a word in edgewise.
"Niao Niao’s mother, would you please be quiet?"
The usually gentle Teacher Wen couldn’t help but raise her voice. After taking a deep breath, she took Niao Niao’s hand and said, "Niao Niao, life isn’t just about one college entrance exam. You’re still young. You’ll have plenty of other chances."
"Take An Guoping. Last year, he only managed to get into a vocational college, but this year, he’s ranked fifteenth in the entire country. You never know what the future holds. He has limitless potential, do you understand?"
As Teacher Wen spoke with patient guidance, Niao Niao’s shoulders began to tremble, her head still bowed. Her lips parted several times, as if she wanted to say something.
"What are you talking about? How could my Niao Niao’s scores possibly be bad? She’s always been first in her grade! What kind of nonsense are you spouting!"
Niao Niao’s mother shoved Teacher Wen aside and stormed forward to look at the results board, huffing in anger.
First place was, glaringly, An Guoping. The prominent achievement and outstanding score were an eyesore.
Niao Niao’s mother confidently looked at the second name.
’He just repeated a year. What’s so impressive about that?’
Niao Niao’s mother’s eyes fell to the second line, but the familiar name wasn’t there. ’Did she not perform well?’
Her gaze moved down again. Not there. Further down. Still not there.
A chill began to creep into Lin Niaoniao’s mother’s heart. ’This isn’t just a case of performing poorly,’ she thought. ’She completely bombed it.’
She continued to scan down the list, and a line appeared.
The names above this line were accepted into first-tier universities, but Lin Niaoniao’s name was not among them.
A knot of frustration tightened in her chest as she continued to scan downward. The second-tier university cutoff line came and went, but the name was still missing. Suppressing her mounting fury, she stubbornly forced her gaze lower, into a section she had never even considered.
The vocational college section.
"Lin Niaoniao—you’ve really outdone yourself! You really have!"
"You’ve taken my pride and thrown it on the ground to be trampled! You’ve completely disgraced me!"
As Lin Niaoniao’s mother spoke, her eyes continued their descent down the list. The cutoff line for vocational colleges was fast approaching.
Three names left. Two. One. No Lin Niaoniao.
"Lin Niaoniao—!"
The sudden, ear-piercing shriek made Lin Niaoniao finally break, and she collapsed to her knees.
"I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I didn’t mean to."
"I really did try, I really did! But the math section was too hard... I was so scared I couldn’t write anything. I really couldn’t!"
"Mom... please don’t be angry, okay? I’m sorry, I’m sorry—"
The first thing Lin Niaoniao did upon collapsing was apologize. Teacher Wen moved to help her up. The girl was under more than enough pressure as it was.
"Sorry? You have no right to be sorry!"
"I have no daughter like you!"
"Tried, my ass! If you had actually tried, would you have gotten a score like this?! You couldn’t even get into a vocational college! What right do you have to be crying here!"
"I knew I shouldn’t have been so easy on you! I should have watched you like a hawk!"
Lin Niaoniao’s own mother, completely devoid of empathy, did nothing but blame her daughter. Her rage had burned away every last shred of reason as she screamed curses at the girl.
As if that wasn’t enough, she kicked Lin Niaoniao.
"What are you doing!"
"You don’t deserve to be a mother!"
Teacher Wen was furious. The other teachers and administrators rushed over to help—some trying to restrain Lin Niaoniao’s mother, others trying to help Lin Niaoniao up.
Lin Niaoniao sat slumped on the ground, listening to her own mother curse her.
"HEH... HEH HEH... HEH HEH HEH... HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Lin Niaoniao laughed, a wild, crazed sound.
"I didn’t try? I didn’t try?"
Lin Niaoniao broke free from Teacher Wen’s grasp and staggered to her feet. Her trembling hands began to unbutton her clothes.
It was only then that everyone realized that despite the sweltering summer heat, Lin Niaoniao was dressed in long sleeves and long pants.
"Lin Niaoniao—don’t—"
Teacher Wen tried to stop her, but it was too late.
Lin Niaoniao tore off her shirt. Many of the parents nearby let out a sharp gasp, sucking in a cold breath.
Many parents covered their sons’ eyes, forbidding them to look.
But how could anyone ever forget such a scene?
Under the brilliant sun, Lin Niaoniao stood in only a thin undershirt. Both of her arms were covered in cuts—some dark, some light, and some still fresh with blood.
"Niao Niao—"
Tears of heartache streamed down Teacher Wen’s face. She picked up the discarded shirt, wanting to drape it over Lin Niaoniao.
"Stay back! Everyone, stay back!"
"No, no, Niao Niao, put it down! It’s not worth it! You’re only eighteen!"
Teacher Wen backed away, her eyes filled with anguish as she watched Lin Niaoniao press a knife to her own neck.
"That’s right. I’m only eighteen. But no one ever told me life could be this bitter, this painful."
"Ever since I was little, my life has been nothing but studying. When other kids were out playing, I was studying. When others bought new clothes, I wasn’t allowed, because ’new clothes are a distraction.’ When others were sleeping, I was studying, because I had to work hard. Even while others were eating, I had to keep reading a book, because I had to work harder than everyone else. Because I had to get first place."
"Get first place? If I didn’t get first place, you’d be unhappy. You’d throw a fit. You’d scream at me. You’d hit me."
"I knew that only by getting first place could I have a mother."
Lin Niaoniao’s confession silenced all the parents and teachers present. In that moment, the scores on the results board suddenly seemed insignificant. All that mattered was that a child was alive.
With one hand, Lin Niaoniao unfastened her pants, letting them fall loosely to her ankles. The scars covering both her legs were just as horrifying to behold.
"You see this? This is from the first time I fell asleep doing my homework. After you beat me awake, I did this to myself."
"That’s when I discovered it. I found that pain could stop me from getting sleepy, stop my mind from wandering. It could make me become the daughter you always wanted."