Chapter 383 - 396: I Don’t Hate You, I’m Just Tired
"Mom—I really tried. Look at my body. There’s no space left."
Something was definitely wrong with Lin Niaoniao. She was smiling.
With one finger, she pointed to each scar on her body, clearly recounting the circumstances under which she had cut herself.
"This one is the deepest, but it was so worth it. I placed first in the province that time. Mom was happy for a long, long time and bought me a new dress."
"This one is a little crooked. I did it at three in the morning. I was so sleepy my hand was shaking, but I hadn’t finished the exercises Mom left for me, so I couldn’t go to sleep."
"I made this one on my birthday. I remember I did ten practice exams that day. I didn’t finish the quota Mom set, so she threw the cake away. I didn’t get to eat any."
Lin Niaoniao’s words made everyone around—men and women, young and old—unable to hold back their tears.
"Niao Niao, don’t say any more. Please, don’t say any more."
Teacher Wen kept trying to get close to Lin Niaoniao, but Lin Niaoniao seemed to be in a trance. The tip of the blade pressed down harder, and a drop of blood trickled out, making everyone’s heart clench.
The principal had already called the police and contacted Lin Niaoniao’s father. When the police officers arrived, they began to disperse the crowd.
As for Lin Niaoniao’s mother, the sight of all those scars did stop her yelling.
"Lin Niaoniao, Mom knows you’ve suffered. But as long as you get through this, your future will be better. You won’t even remember any of this then."
The words from Lin Niaoniao’s own mother made the teacher holding her back want to kick her a few times. ’Is this really what you should be saying right now?’
"But what if I don’t want to live that future life? You’re always doing what’s ’for my own good.’ You’re never wrong. I’m the only one who’s wrong, aren’t I?"
"No!"
A firm "No!" rang out from the back of the crowd.
Lin Niaoniao’s father had arrived.
"Niao Niao, you’re not wrong. You’re not wrong! You haven’t done anything wrong. It’s Dad’s fault. Dad had no idea... Please, put the knife down, okay? Dad is begging you!"
Lin Niaoniao’s father, still in his factory clothes with his hands covered in grease, had rushed straight to the school regardless of anything else after getting the news at the factory.
"Niao Niao, don’t hurt yourself. It’s my fault. Dad will spend more time with you from now on. Let’s go see the ocean together, okay? We won’t focus on studying anymore. You can do whatever you want."
"Lin Wei, are you insane?! What can she do if she doesn’t study? End up a worthless worker for the rest of her life like you?!"
No one paid attention to Lin Niaoniao’s mother’s furious shout. Not only was she ignored, but the police also ordered her to shut up and not say another word.
"Niao Niao, don’t listen to your mom. Dad keeps his promises. Put the knife down, okay?"
Lin Niaoniao’s eyes were unfocused, her gaze vacant. Her voice was filled with desolation and surrender.
"You’re fighting again... You only stop fighting when I do well in my studies!"
"Dad—I really did my best... There’s no space left on my body. There really isn’t."
Lin Niaoniao’s condition was clearly critical. Several police officers moved into position, having her father continue to speak to distract her while they prepared to intervene at any moment.
"Mom, I don’t hate you. I know that deep down, you were doing it for my own good. I know."
"Dad, you work so hard, putting in overtime every day to give me a better environment to study in."
"You’re both good people. I know you’re doing this for my sake. But why am I so tired?"
"I’m sorry. I’m just so, so tired."
"No—!"
"Save her—!"
"Niao Niao—!"
The frantic shouts and running figures froze in Lin Niaoniao’s vision.
The sharp little knife plunged into her neck without any hesitation. Amidst a spray of blood, she closed her eyes in satisfaction. ’I can finally get a good night’s sleep.’
The athletic field erupted into chaos.
Lin Niaoniao’s mother sat on the ground in a daze, unable to believe what had just happened.
Lin Niaoniao’s father rushed forward, only to be pulled back by teachers and police officers who knew some basic first aid.
Teacher Wen pressed down hard on Lin Niaoniao’s neck, shouting over and over, "Lin Niaoniao, don’t fall asleep! Don’t fall asleep!"
"The painful days are over! You’re eighteen now, you don’t have to listen to your mom anymore!"
"Your life is your own to live now!"
"Don’t fall asleep! Don’t you fall asleep!"
As Lin Niaoniao was taken to the hospital, An Guoping and Zhou Xiaoshan, who had come to the school to check out the atmosphere, silently moved aside to make way.
"Compared to this, my dad’s actually pretty great."
"Is she going to be okay?"
Zhou Xiaoshan asked An Guoping. An Guoping glanced at the slingshot in Zhou Xiaoshan’s hand and said, "She’ll be fine. It didn’t hit an artery."
"You’re pretty good with that slingshot."
"Of course. I learned from Teacher An."
Zhou Xiaoshan boasted proudly, then continued, "And you’re not bad for a future med student. All that reading wasn’t for nothing."
"Of course. I can’t bring shame to my sister."
The two of them went back and forth, praising each other. Forgetting about checking the scores, they headed home.
The walk home was somewhat silent. Just as they were almost home, Zhou Xiaoshan suddenly spoke up. "If it weren’t for Teacher An Ning, I don’t know what I would have become."
"Don’t worry about that. You can take a beating!"
An Guoping cut straight to the point. "Besides, you’re the type to cause trouble for others, not for yourself."
Zhou Xiaoshan patted An Guoping’s shoulder affirmatively.
"You’re right. I’d definitely cause trouble for other people. That Lin Niaoniao... she’s a kind person."
"Yeah. Even though she was in so much pain, she couldn’t think of any way out besides hurting herself."
The two boys felt a heavy sadness in their hearts. They looked at each other, then said in unison, "Let’s make a call!"
An Guoping and Zhou Xiaoshan ran together to the public phone in the village and dialed An Ning’s number.
When An Ning picked up, the two young men, who were usually quite mature, started tripping over each other’s words like children vying for attention as they told Lin Niaoniao’s story.
On the other end of the line, An Ning was shocked by the story.
Lin Cuihua was just as shocked. Her hand couldn’t help but grab An Ning’s, a wave of fear washing over her.
"Mom—you never forced me to study. Besides, Lin Niaoniao’s mother has a much bigger problem. This isn’t just about wanting her child to succeed anymore. She’s loaded all of her own hopes and all of her own dreams onto Lin Niaoniao."
An Ning spoke with Zhou Xiaoshan and An Guoping for quite a while. After hanging up, she was suddenly struck by the realization that if the world was to become a better place, there was a long and arduous road ahead.
’Infrastructure can be changed through technology, but what can change a person’s way of thinking?’
An Ning fell into deep thought.
Her contemplation didn’t last long, because there was a knock on her dorm room door.
CREAK— The door opened from the inside. Lin Cuihua called out to An Ning that Wei Hong was looking for her.
An Ning came out of her room and looked at Wei Hong standing by the door.
"Comrade An Ning, Director Zhao is here. He’d like to see you. Do you have a moment?"
"Yes, let’s go."
An Ning put on her outdoor shoes and followed Wei Hong toward a conference room.
When they reached the entrance, the guard posted there gave An Ning a quick security check before she went inside.
"An Ning, you’re here. First of all, congratulations on becoming the top scholar."
"Thank you."