Life, Once Again!

“I'll see you later. ”

“I'll come back another time. The sea is fine. ”

I waved my hand in the sea and turned around. Maru said he would take me, but he said it was okay. As I walked down the stairs, autumn thought of only one thing: A voice. I would have been worried about all this if I had suddenly heard it, but now I'm a little excited.

Please, he said he heard it. Overwhelming feelings that have been conveyed beyond the Brown tube. Fall fell in love with Hae. I fell into the smoke she showed me. It was a continuous shock to see how such smoke could be possible. I heard that voice when I was constantly confronted with the desire to be like that and the self-awareness of the impossible. I confessed in the video that I heard his inner voice when his acting changed miraculously. It didn't matter what the voice was. Filling my head was an opportunity to improve my performance. Rather than fear and worry, I was filled with urgency to hear that voice again. That's why I left the floor in a hurry. I needed some space to figure things out. I wanted to listen to my voice in a quiet place. Our home with no one. It was a bad choice.

I couldn't remember how I got off the bus. The Compass of Thoughts only points to the voice. The door lock was opened after three incorrect passwords. I took off my shoes and opened the desk drawer as it was. Inside, there was an earplug that a friend gave me to use while studying. You press down on the tip of the earplug made of a sponge and plug it into your ear. The sponge expands, blocking the sound. Even the roaring sound of the refrigerator disappears, and all you hear is the sound your body makes. I closed my eyes on the chair. When I consciously picked up the faint noise coming from the outside, my body felt rich.

I wanted to catch a clue. Fall wanted to know the reality of the smoke. I wanted to know and be equal to them. Flooring, pilgrimage, geometry. Every time I felt different from my comrades, I felt anxious. To be relieved as an actor without knowing when to leave as a trainee, anxiety and everlasting separation had to change. The voice of wanting to act, it seemed to be a chance to change.

Autumn stumbled upon the darkness. I opened my inner ear wide as I walked through the white darkness beyond the eyes. I haven't heard your voice yet. My neck stiffens. It reminds me that I've been sitting for a long time. I wonder how long they've been wandering around looking for something formless. My desire to open my eyes and check the time was intense, but I pressed fall. When I opened my eyes now, I felt like everything would go back to the first time. In the darkness without a milestone, I made my way forward clearly. It was impossible to go back here. The shoulders narrow. I wanted to keep my shoulders open and cool, but so did he. I wanted to pour all my senses inside. If a brief reaction breaks your focus, you may regret it for the rest of your life.

Time is running out. My butt was sweating. The journey in the dark was still underway. It sounded like a vague heartbeat. Autumn is headed to where the sound is coming from. The body that came to my mind jumped out. My footsteps stopped because of the small sounds I heard around me. It wasn't coming from my ears. It was playing inside. I focused and caught the sound. The voice that sounded like a stretched tape became clearer and clearer.

What are you going to do during the holidays? The voices you hear were from a friend. I couldn't think of a better view of the classroom. The dark background changed to the classroom landscape. The rattling sound was clearly shaped and separated from each other. Mijin, Jiaying, Playing, Minsu, Eunji. It was a conversation I had in the classroom a few days ago. Mijin, who said he and his boyfriend had a bold plan to go to the sea, who said he would be cooped up in the house, who had already completed the concert sales, and who said he had to listen quietly and go to school. The light words that would not be strange to hear and forget came to mind clearly like a memorized mathematical formula. The situation at that time was perfectly portrayed, as was the detailed report, including the awkward classroom air and the fragrance of someone who smelled strong, the uniform that stuck to my chest, and the sourness of the lemon-flavored candy that was in my mouth.

The classroom landscape, which was tightly woven, was once bent to the beat of the heart. Fall walked again in a blurry image. Then the same thing happened. This time it was more in the past. Hard stage floors and low lighting. The motivation to tell the first graders to calm down and to look at them with pride. The ceremony had just flown to the national competition in the second grade of summer. The vibrant past passed before my eyes. Every sound is embedded in my body.

I repeated that experience several times. While gazing at his flowing past, he woke up and was smiling gently in front of his father. Early fall. Cool breeze. This dress features a white hat with a wide peak and a rabbit painting on the street. I woke up. The seat was my father's neck. I reached out my short hand and grabbed his hair. He never said he was sick. My father's body, which was like a huge mountain, moved and my vision shifted. It seemed as if he was on a boat, floating up and down. Men and women walking on cotton candy, music playing on one guitar, fall foliage and become part of the street. I hear a nostril when everything is being branded so intensely that my eyes are small. Hmm-hmm, it sounded rougher and pitchy like a beard on the chin, but for autumn it sounded bigger and more glamorous than any orchestra. Louder, louder. I waved back and forth and shouted.

You're not going to cry without me, are you? At the same time as my father said, the landscape was broken. The scattered debris flashes and quickly hides its tracks. All that's left is the heartbeat. Thump, thump, thump. From the present to the past, where does this journey end?

The darkness was lifted while you were unconscious. In the fall, I saw myself onstage. The audience is empty. I looked back and forth through my memories. Have you ever been to a place like this? When I opened the drawer with the past and was checking it out, something white came out. It was a rabbit with round eyes. The rabbit stepping on the ground on all fours suddenly rises up. You hold a pocket watch in your hand and a short cane in your opposite hand. The end of the staff is carved with a black bird. It was an elegant figure, a blur.

Who are you? Autumn squeezed out his voice. The rabbit reacts to the sound and turns its head. There was a purple fury on his cute face.

- Finally, you're back.

The rabbit said, the voice I heard at the floor house. Autumn said, calming the beating heart.

- You're the one who talked to me earlier, right?

- Maybe it is.

- Didn't you say you wanted to act?

- Acting? I like acting. Just like you.

- Then act with me.

- With you?

- Yeah, I don't know, but I feel like I could do so much better with you. At least it'll be better than I am now. I want to be good at acting.

- What are you doing acting so well?

- I want to be equal to the floor. I want to act together. I want to be on the same stage.

- Are you sure that's enough? Are you sure about that?

- Yes, sir.

I wonder if we could have this conversation. The rabbit glances at the clock. There was a smile on his mouth that did not represent joy.

- Yeah, go ahead. The moment you thought you wanted to do that, my decision was gone.

The snoring rabbit runs toward the other side of the stage.

- Excuse me.

Autumn called for the rabbit urgently.

- We can talk again, right?

- You want to do that?

- Yes, sir.

- If you want to do it, do it. The choice is entirely yours. You could always come see me now.

- Hey, one more thing.

- Why not?

- How did you get inside me? How can we have this conversation?

The rabbit dips the ground with a cane.

- Do you believe in God?

- God?

- Yes, God. Jesus, Buddha, Aladdin. The Almighty God, I mean.

- I don't believe you.

- Why not?

- It's like not believing in destiny. A life God has chosen, a life according to God's will. I think it's miserable. I think people should live on their own terms.

- What about miracles?

- I think there could be a miracle. A miracle accomplished by human effort everywhere. It's not because God benefits a certain person, it's because God enables the impossible for many people.

- Yeah, you were.

The rabbit looked straight ahead. It was a terribly red pupil. Something seems to be burning alive inside.

- And you should have been.

- Excuse me!

The rabbit runs toward the end of the stage. Autumn wanted to chase after him, but his legs didn't move. Hey, I tried calling out louder, but the rabbit didn't think to look back. It's getting further and further apart. When the black paper became invisible to the white spots, Autumn saw a woman dressed in white. I could see that she was wearing a white suit just by looking at her back. She turns back into a woman in a slightly lively outfit, and then goes back to the rabbit.

Autumn, looking through the stage where the rabbit disappeared, found a cadre lying on the floor. Tarot cards, with more full and clowns, were something I've seen a lot. The moment you look at the clown with the tie on the card, the sound of a Tidick door lock faintly digs into your ear. The electronic sound that pierced the earplugs ruptured the inner world, and the autumn rushed into reality. The fall falls to your side as you heavily vomit your breath. I couldn't move because my arms, legs, and back were frozen.

“Mommy's here. But what are you doing there? ”

“Ugh, yeah? I sat down and dozed off.”

“Sleep upright in bed. Don't hold back because you're studying for nothing. But don't you have a wall to study with my daughter? ”

“No.”

“Okay, okay. Dinner?”

“Dinner? What time is it? ”

“Now? It's past 9: 00. ”

“9: 00?”

“You must have slept a lot. Stop making silly faces and come out and have ice cream with your mom. Come out quickly.”

After slowly working up, Autumn looked at the alarm clock on the desk. 9: 14 p.m. It was 1: 00 p.m. when I got home and sat on the chair.

“8 hours.”

Autumn recited the time passed. It sounded like he saw a dragon.

“Daughter! Sleeping again? ”

My mom called me. Fall went out shaking her head.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

It's the first day of the proud morning man.

Wow... my body doesn't look like mine. I feel like someone is controlling me with a remote control.

Hahahaha.

You'll be fine once you adapt.

See you on the 23rd at 12: 00.

Enjoy your dinner.